Monday, 2 October 2017

Another Late Start

So once again I'm getting a really late start. Once again my dad came to make sure I was awake. I think he's starting to get worried about me. If I'm waking up this late then I daresay that he has a right to be. I want to say that I don't know why this is happening, but I do. It's my depression. I don't feel that I have anything to wake up anymore. Work is hardly a motivator when you have no set hours. It looks like I'm going to be getting a late start on work today.

When you get depressed there are a few things that go. The first two are personal hygiene and sleep. You either sleep more or sleep less, and you take a lot less baths. The reason my teeth are in the state they are is because I barely ever brushed them during those two years I spent in a depressed stupor. I never went out, so I never felt like bathing either. I'd only do it when my own smell got too overpowering.

The good news is that my hygiene at least is still there. I keep myself clean. I don't shave as much as I should, but I'm clean at least. And I am still working. Even if it is just because I regard work as a necessary evil because I have things I want. Isn't that really how most people see work though?

I just know that this can't continue. Let's see what happens now.


  1. Whenever I tell people I'm looking forward to my second retirement in the summer of 2020, I'm told that I'll be bored. Nope, won't.
    Because I look at work the same as you. If I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't. But, I want things. So, I do.

  2. Hang in there. Hopefully work can be even the slightest of motivators, and if you want things, well, that's a better sign than not wanting anything at all. It's especially scary when you find yourself in that state of depression where you just don't want anything, even basic comforts.

  3. Get help if you need it Mark, it's serious, depression.

  4. I'm worried about you, Mark. Are you seeing a doctor or a counsellor about your depression? Please do, if you aren't!

  5. Hey Mark, I echo my friend Debra above, please go and talk with someone about your depression. Please do.
    And make yourself get out into nature. There, I have given you that advice and it doesn't cost you anything! Take care.

  6. I struggled with depression so many years and still do sometimes. It's really sad because the years I was depressed seemed like they weren't even there, because I was in such a stupor... so much of my life has gone by in a flash. To get back on track I just had to find some way to stay active during the day, find anything that makes you happy to get some momentum going. Go for a walk, go to a comic book store.. anything. With me it's always the sleeping too much that's the problem.. in my opinion that's really what gets you out of sync. I was a perpetually depressed person. If I can improve I believe anybody can.

  7. I have had a lot of days lately that I really don't want to get up


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