Monday, 2 October 2017

Another Late Start

So once again I'm getting a really late start. Once again my dad came to make sure I was awake. I think he's starting to get worried about me. If I'm waking up this late then I daresay that he has a right to be. I want to say that I don't know why this is happening, but I do. It's my depression. I don't feel that I have anything to wake up anymore. Work is hardly a motivator when you have no set hours. It looks like I'm going to be getting a late start on work today.

When you get depressed there are a few things that go. The first two are personal hygiene and sleep. You either sleep more or sleep less, and you take a lot less baths. The reason my teeth are in the state they are is because I barely ever brushed them during those two years I spent in a depressed stupor. I never went out, so I never felt like bathing either. I'd only do it when my own smell got too overpowering.

The good news is that my hygiene at least is still there. I keep myself clean. I don't shave as much as I should, but I'm clean at least. And I am still working. Even if it is just because I regard work as a necessary evil because I have things I want. Isn't that really how most people see work though?

I just know that this can't continue. Let's see what happens now.

7 comments:

  1. Whenever I tell people I'm looking forward to my second retirement in the summer of 2020, I'm told that I'll be bored. Nope, won't.
    Because I look at work the same as you. If I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't. But, I want things. So, I do.

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  2. Hang in there. Hopefully work can be even the slightest of motivators, and if you want things, well, that's a better sign than not wanting anything at all. It's especially scary when you find yourself in that state of depression where you just don't want anything, even basic comforts.

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  3. Get help if you need it Mark, it's serious, depression.

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  4. I'm worried about you, Mark. Are you seeing a doctor or a counsellor about your depression? Please do, if you aren't!

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  5. Hey Mark, I echo my friend Debra above, please go and talk with someone about your depression. Please do.
    And make yourself get out into nature. There, I have given you that advice and it doesn't cost you anything! Take care.

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  6. I struggled with depression so many years and still do sometimes. It's really sad because the years I was depressed seemed like they weren't even there, because I was in such a stupor... so much of my life has gone by in a flash. To get back on track I just had to find some way to stay active during the day, find anything that makes you happy to get some momentum going. Go for a walk, go to a comic book store.. anything. With me it's always the sleeping too much that's the problem.. in my opinion that's really what gets you out of sync. I was a perpetually depressed person. If I can improve I believe anybody can.

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  7. I have had a lot of days lately that I really don't want to get up

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