Friday, 25 August 2017

Please Forgive the Lateness of This Post

Between going into town t get a new suitcase (my gym bag didn't have enough room this year) and taking the cats to their new home for the week, it's only just now that I've gotten enough time to myself to sit down and make a post. At least the packing is done. I'll never understand how some people can take more than a few hours at most to pack.

This is really cool

Could this BE anymore of a pun?

This is better than the original

Go out and enjoy the word "gruntled" 

I actually do this. A lot. Like way too much. 

I really am trying doc.

Oh look it's me

This really is an accurate depiction of mods in games

I want to have a child called Stephen and push them to get a PhD. 

The ultimate way to test your drugs. 
I'll try to keep you updated while I'm away. See y'all when I see y'all.

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Only You Can Prevent Bedroom Fires

Who's up for a tale of drunken stupidity? As the old saying goes, no good story begins with "I was having a salad when..."

So I did get to spend last weekend with Jess after all and we did indeed have a lot of fun. We talked about shit, watched junk on Netflix, and decided to have a barbecue. Normally we get pizza when she comes over, but we watched a show where the characters had a barbecue and decided to do that instead. The plan was simple; buy a disposable barbecue, buy some meat, and cook it all up.

This is basically what we had
It was then that we did the stupidest thing we've ever done. We lit it in my room.

For some reason I had the bright idea that we should have a barbecue in my room. I wasn't expecting things to get quite as smoky as they did. Needless to say the entire upstairs of my house was covered in smoke ten minutes later and there is now a permanent scorch mark on my floor from the bottom of the grill.

Luckily we were able to move things outside in the end. Jess almost went blind from the smoke, but we got there. The smoke cleared up pretty nicely too and now the only sign that we did anything that dumb is the aforementioned scorch mark on the floor.

Don't be like us, people. Drinking inside is fine, but don't be dumb enough to start a fire in a bedroom. Or indeed any room in the house.

Monday, 21 August 2017

I'm Going Away Next Week

Well I survived the weekend. Although there were a few close calls. I was going to talk about that but I had it brought to my attention that the day I leave for my holiday is a lot closer than I think. Actually, it's this very Saturday. For some reason I had it stuck in my head that it was next Saturday. Probably because I kept telling myself it was two weeks away. Then before I realised it, it was just one week away.

Skegness here I come.
My dad, my sister, and one of my nieces went for a day trip there recently and the place is pretty much how we left it. It could be better, but it's nice it's not worse. Still, we go to the same places, so maybe some of it is doing better and we just don't see it? That's going to change this year.

One of the things we did last year was give the kids a day out at Fantasy Island through the magical power of coupons. They enjoyed it so much that we did our research and saw that the prices for week-long wristbands (that allow for unlimited rides, for an entire bloody week) actually aren't as expensive as we first thought. So we're going to get them for the little brats angels and I imagine that's where most of our time will be spent. We'll still hit up the usual haunts of course, but it'll be nice to do something new.

The only problem for me is that the arcades at Fantasy Island are more expensive than the places we usually take them to. The upside is that this is because their machines work. I do enjoy the time I spend at the Pier but it's obvious that, rather than fix their machines, they just reduce how much it costs to play them. Maybe these machines are so old that there's no one around who can fix them anymore?

Damn the death of the arcade makes me sad. I miss the days I could walk in with £40 and walk out after the best day of my life. True story. I did that once. Needless to say my parents were not happy.

So anyway, things might be a little quiet next week. I've got some mobile broadband so I'll try and keep y'all updated. This week is going to be fun though. Let me tell you; nothing makes you need a holiday quite like preparing for a holiday. At least we don't have to worry about the cats this year.

Friday, 18 August 2017

For Once I'm in for a Good Weekend

I've got a friend coming over and I've got all my work done. Things are looking good for this weekend.

This really shouldn't stand. I thought there anti-discrimination hiring laws?

This dog looks so happy to have a hand

Something nice to say to the next guy that pisses you off

Now THIS is a good boy

Good news for those worried about teen pregnancy 

This gets my motor running

I actually say this to people who call me adorable. You'd be surprised how many do. 

I hope this is a genuine list of searches but I have my doubts. Also you can manipulate suggested searches

Behold the Batcat! 

I remember enough German to find this funny. 
Have a great weekend folks. I'll see you on Monday!

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Cleaning Up is Hard to Do

When I say cleaning up here I don't mean physically, but that can be a chore in and of itself. It's also something else I need to get done soon. When I'm not trapped under an ocean of work. Rather, I mean cleaning up electronically; as in cleaning my hard drive.

I recently found myself in a situation where I had only around 100GB of hard drive space left. See, the funny thing about computers is that they have all this space but they punish you for using it. You should keep at least 15% of your hard disk space free. I didn't, and my computer ended up moving slower than a snail.

Thankfully I do have an external hard drive but the computer was moving so slowly that even my attempts to clean it up by moving stuff on to the hard drive slowed it down even more. It's almost a miracle I was able to get my work done in that situation.

It really doesn't help that I'm a hoarder, especially when it comes to digital data. My external hard drive - and indeed my internal one - is filled with things I'll never access again but like to keep for some reason. Even after clearing out the things I no longer need and the things I didn't want right now I still only cleaned up around 200GB of space. I have no idea what is eating up around 500GB of space on my computer (the OS eats up a lot).

I remember one of the first computers I ever owned. It was back before anyone even knew what a gigabit was. The hard drive was so small I could only have one game installed on it at once, and I couldn't consider ripping CDs on to it. I was one of those people that laughed at the idea of needing more space, and told myself I'd have more space than I knew what to do with.

Then, you know, I find myself in a situation with an almost full hard drive.

Keep your computers clean people! It worked much better after the cleanup operation.

Monday, 14 August 2017

I Am Out of Shape

I had a very intense work week last week to say the least. I inadvertently found myself doing a week's worth of work in the space of three days. I got it done, because I'm awesome like that, but it was seriously draining. For once I actually did take the weekend to myself and one thing it showed me is that I'm really out of shape.

It's not so much that I'm out of shape either, it's also that I'm heavier. So I can really feel the extra weight pulling me down when I'm trying to walk. It makes it harder to move around. I have a hard enough time finding the time to move around as it is; I don't need the actual process itself to be rendered more difficult. But that's life sometimes.

I also know that if I was in better shape I would be better able to handle all this extra work. I'd have more energy to just get stuff done and come out on top. So I should do it for the sake of my work as well as for my health.

It really is a matter of finding the time though. With my sleep schedule, combined with how much I work, I don't finish working until around 8, 9, or even 10PM sometimes. I could go on a walk part way through my day, which is what I used to do, but then I'm just extending my work day.

I need to find something. If only typing burned calories.

Friday, 11 August 2017

At This Point I'm Not Sure I'm Alive

Due to certain circumstances I've been working so intensely that it feels I am actually losing my grip on reality. What a fun place to be.

Boy life is great since we outlawed being a criminal 

I'd understand it building up in on area, but the whole room?

This man is living in 3017

This is an excellent pun

Friendzoned by darkness

I'd watch that 
I mean, it is one of the best ways to prevent pregnancy 

I wish I had balls of steel like this dude

Another brilliant pun 
One should never go ass to mouth

Have a good weekend folks. For once I might stick with my plans to take two days off work. I just have to slug it out for one more day first.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Caffeine Problems

Like most writers I have a few vices here and there. While most writers are awash in a sea of sex, drugs, cigarettes, and coffee, my only real vice - at least as far as drugs go - is caffeine. I like the occasional drink but I do my best to avoid drinking alone. Whether it's in the form of coffee, iced coffee, or an energy drink, I am getting way too much caffeine.
But iced coffee is so delicious!
I know I'm getting too much because I've reached the point where it stops perking me up and instead returns me to normal. That's the thing about caffeine. If you don't have a lot of it, it can perk you up pretty nicely. Over time though, the peaks get smaller and the crashes get deeper. So caffeine just returns you to your normal levels. That's why you feel so tired without it and why you crave it so badly.

I plan to go cold turkey for a few days which should help, but unfortunately I have so much work due that I'm still reliant on caffeine to push me to normal levels, if not higher. So I think I'm going to have to wait until the weekend; when I can afford to be sloppy and not get much done. I don't normally take weekends off actually but, given how much I've had to get done this week, I am seriously considering it.

It's going to be a rough few days.

Monday, 7 August 2017

Adventures in Cooking

Jess stayed over for the weekend again and we decided to do a little cooking while she was here. We tend to eat out too much. This time though it was more that what we were craving couldn't be bought at the time we were craving it. So we had to cook it ourselves. 

So just what the hell did we make? We made nachos and cheese. 

Sadly I didn't take any pictures of it so you'll have to trust me that it worked out properly. 

We decided to do it Subway-style. See, when you go to Subway and ask for nachos they put some salsa and cheese on Doritos and throw it in the microwave. We didn't want to be that cheap though. So we got some Doritos, salsa, and cheese, and baked it in the oven. 

It actually worked out really well. They were absolutely delicious and something I'd do again. The only problem is that the combined total of the ingredients came to more than buying nachos ready made from Subway, or indeed Dominos. 

If you'd like to try making your own nachos then get some Doritos, some salsa, and some cheese (duh). Lay it all out on a baking tray (we used foil because we didn't have an oven dish) and bake it at around 160 Celsius for 15-20 minutes and you'll have a delicious treat. 

Delicious, but not exactly nutritious, so don't do it too often! 

Friday, 4 August 2017

Friday Funtimes #18345

Apparently it's Friday now. How 'bout that?

This is just me most days really

I need this license plate

I didn't know they improved on perfection but they did

Every good man knows when to stop

I love a good pun

Nein! Nein! Nein!

2017 is pretty much the same too

It really, really does

I accepted a long time ago I'm going to hell

It's a conspiracy! 
Have a good weekend folks. I'll see you all next week!

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Drats. Failed Again.

The reason today's post is so late is because I was holding off on writing it until I got home. I believe I mentioned that I had a driving test today. If not, then consider it mentioned! As you might be able to surmise from the title of this post, I unfortunately failed for a second time.

I feel much calmer about it this time for some reason. I remember that I had a serious breakdown after I failed last time and I was crying for about two hours. Every time I remembered failing I started crying again. This time though I've managed to stay in good spirits about the whole thing. I'm not entirely sure why.

I think it helps that I only failed because of two major mistakes. The first was with the manouvre. I got the dreaded reverse parallel park this time. It's a tricky manouvre in that the starting position has to be perfect or it can throw off everything else. Needless to say, my starting position wasn't perfect. I started too close to the other car, which meant that I didn't have the room I needed to manouvre around it properly. I ended up bumping the kerb twice and - even when I corrected my position properly - still ended up at an angle. Which is a fail.

The other mistake happened when I was driving way too slow. Normally I'm pretty good at keeping to the right speed, but thanks to a comedy of errors I found myself doing 33MPH in the fast lane of a dual carriageway. To put that into perspective, the speed limit is 70. At the very least I should have been going 50-60.

Like I said, I know what went wrong and I'm feeling much better about things this time. My instructor wanted me to book another test in right away but both myself and my dad agree it would be better to wait until I get back from holiday. So we're going to book another one in when I get back and I'll probably book in another lesson or two to get rid of any rust.

But I am there. I am a good driver. I can do this. I can pass my test. It's just that it didn't happen for me this time.


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