I'm going to be honest with you folks and just say that my weight problems have spiraled completely out of control. It doesn't matter what kind of diet I try to follow, as I'm just unable to stick to it. I don't know where it happened but I've completely lost all willpower. I don't know where the part of my brain that allowed me to lose over 80 pounds is but I dare say it's dead. It probably choked to death on some food.
It's reached the point I have trouble sleeping at night because I have trouble breathing. If I lie down in a certain position it actually causes my voice to change because the fat is pressing down against my vocal chords. At least, that's what I assume is happening. I barely have any semblance of physical fitness left either. Everything to do with my weight has just tanked, except for my weight itself which continues to rise.
Every day I tell myself I will do or be better. I come up with meal plans and I have every intention of following them. Then when the time comes to eat I make excuse after excuse. I'm tired of making excuses like that and I'm tired of living like this.
Evidently though, I'm not quite tired enough to actually muster the willpower to do anything about it. There are days when it feels like I can actually feel myself dying, and there are days when it seems I'm determined to kill myself through food.
I don't even know what to do anymore. You can only help those who want to be helped, and while this is clearly a call for help I'm sure it will be forgotten about by my next meal.