Monday, 29 May 2017

Why I Failed

I mentioned that I would get into more detail about how I failed my driving test when I could think about it without crying. I suppose now is as good a time as any.

To be fair I should have realised the test wasn't going to go well given how it started. Somehow I got the seatbelt stuck under the seat. So my instructor had to come out and free it for me. It took about five minutes and it left the seat well out of my usual driving position. I didn't realise this until about a minute into my test. I tried to adjust my seat while keeping the car in place with the footbrake. The car lurched forward a few inches, which is incredibly unsafe, and things just didn't go well after that.

I should explain that our driving tests consist of driving around and following instructions. There is another section where I have to follow signs - known as independent driving - and then I have to do one maneuver. I'm allowed 15 minor faults (things like not checking my mirrors or doing things out of order), and there are serious and dangerous faults. Serious faults are kind of bad, and dangerous faults are ones that endanger lives. One of these is an instant failure.

I got three.

One came when I was driving along the road and a car approached me from behind. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention to realise that the road changed to allow cars to pass me on the left. A car tried to do just that, and my instructor had to grab the wheel and move the car to the right for me.

Instant fail.

For whatever reason she decided to continue the test and continue my slow descent into insanity.

The second one came when I was approaching a corner and then a car suddenly appeared in front of me. I didn't have enough time to react, and there wasn't enough space for both of us, so I hit the brakes hard. This caused a dangerous fault because there was a car behind me and I didn't check my mirror to ensure braking as hard as I did was safe.

I'm not sure what the third major fault was. I don't remember. But I also fucked up the bay park at the end, which counted as my maneuver.

Needless to say I failed my test. Badly. Then spent the next two or three hours crying. It was the one time I was sure about something in my life and I failed.

That hurt.

Friday, 26 May 2017

I Failed

I left this post until now because I wanted to let you guys know how I did. Sad to say I failed my test. I'll give more details when I can think about it without crying

Happy birthday to me!

Thursday, 25 May 2017

I'm Ready

So tomorrow is a pretty big day for me. Not only is it my birthday, but it's also my driving test. I had one last lesson a few days ago and I have to say that I am remarkably confident in my ability to pass this test. For some reason, something is telling me that it's all going to go great. Realistically, as long as I don't hit someone (and as long as I always check my mirrors) there's no reason I shouldn't pass.

I suppose the only niggling doubt I have - should one exist - is my ability to read signs. I've improved but there are some circumstances - particularly roundabouts - where I sometimes get a little confused. Luckily I have plenty of time to bone up on this stuff.

Essentially I have a three hour driving lesson tomorrow, lasting from 12 - 3. The test itself isn't until half one, but we wouldn't have made it to the centre on time if we left at one, so we had to go for 12. This means I have about an hour or so to do some last minute practicing/fucking up before the test itself. I don't think I need to practice anything else so I'll just ask my instructor to throw some independent driving and roundabouts at me, just for a little last minute practice.

I'm already telling people I'm going to pass, which really isn't like me at all. I hope this supreme confidence doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

Monday, 22 May 2017

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

So my friend has gone back home, again, already. She was due to stay here for about a month but her mum wanted her to go home and help with the kids. There are some things she needs to do that are better done there anyway, so it was just time for her to go back anyway.

Spending last week with her was pretty fun. It was nice just having someone around. It wasn't until she had gone back home that it hit me how lonely I would be without her around. She helped me get through a tough week of my own. Given how tough this week will be for me - what with my driving test and a lot of work - it would have been nice to have her around for this week. Ah well, I'll make it.

We did start a diet together that I'll get into more detail on with another post. I feel it kind of deserves a post of its own. Just so I can go into more detail about shit. She's going to stick to it while she's back home and hopefully I can do the same. Part of me is really going to miss her cooking. I'm going to be on basic recipes for a while. I'm going to see if I can stick to this until the summer - assuming it works - and then just let the start of my holiday signal the end of my diet. It's impossible to eat healthy while on holiday anyway, especially with this particular diet.

We'll see what happens I guess. One thing living with my friend has taught me is "Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see".

As much as both of us wish we could see ours sometimes.

Friday, 19 May 2017

A Solid Week of Work

I'm not kidding when I say I've been working pretty non-stop the past few days. I've found myself working until two in the morning on more than one occasion. So now I'm going to take the weekend off. Just need to finish off one more job first.

This is the best word search ever

Or right

Good luck ho-meow-ners

They really wouldn't 

That's just a bad design 

That's a success

It's Mike Dyson

That is one cool looking dog

You're helping someone get laid

"Genital Thunderstorm" is one of my many nicknames 
Have a great weekend folks. I get the feeling next week is going to be just as busy for me. Even outside of work I have a driving lesson, a driving test, and my birthday.

Thursday, 18 May 2017

A Traumatic Experience

I went through somewhat of a traumatic experience this week during my driving lesson. Don't worry too much though. Nobody died. Least of all me. Which is why I'm able to write this post, of course.

Things started out easy enough. I took Martin - my instructor - to a local road that I was confused by. Given that I would be driving on this road a lot, it made sense to get answers while I was still having lessons. If anything, it's a bit weird that I left it this long. The road went well and I came out of it understanding what I needed to do when travelling there by myself.

Then the mistakes started.

I ended up in the wrong lane of a dual carriageway at one point. I wasn't driving into traffic, but I was going the wrong way. We lost about five minutes of the lesson as I worked to correct myself. In the end though, it was no biggie. I messed up but I fixed it. That's something Martin always preaches to me, especially in manouvers; accuracy is the least important thing compared to control and safety. If you end up in the wrong place, then you can just fix it.

Unfortunately, something that couldn't be fixed almost happened.

We were practicing a reverse left. Given that my test is the end of next week, we're essentially just practicing things I'm weak at. I asked him if we could run through each manouver one last time. Things were actually going great. I was making smooth progress and responding well to what was happening around me. I was displaying pretty good safety, accuracy, and control.

Then some kid scooted behind the car. I didn't see her but thankfully Martin did. He was able to stop the car and let her go on her merry way unscathed.

Even though it fucked me up for a while, it was a good lesson to learn. It was better to have something like this happen while I was still learning and while someone could stop the car for me. If that happened during my test I'd have failed, and if it happened while I was on my own, then it would have been even worse.

I still have confidence in my ability to drive after getting over it. I still want to go into my test and I still believe I can pass it. So I guess that's good. I just need to, you know, be more alert.

Monday, 15 May 2017

Damn I'm Tired

I made the mistake of being up pretty late last night. It was the second night in a row too, which just made it even dumber. To complete the Dumb Sandwich I have a driving lesson in a couple of hours. It wouldn't be the first time I've had a driving lesson while in less than stellar shape, but I'm more tired than usual. I hope I don't just constantly fuck up. I'll open the window a little and let a breeze in. That always helps.

I actually had a dream last night in which I witnessed a bike crashing into a car. I was driving along when two bikes whizzed past me and one crashed into the car in front of me. That's hardly something that you want to dream about before a driving lesson.

I suppose I should enjoy my lessons. I have very few of them left. Actually if I don't have one next week before my test this is my second to last lesson ever. I'm going to have one more after passing so that Martin can show me more about driving on the motorway. I've gotten comfortable going fast, but there's more to the motorway than just that. Man it'll be nice to have money again. Every time I build up a nice amount of money in my bank account it's time to take most of it out because I need to pay for another driving lesson.

Maybe that will change with my friend living here though. We're going to help each other stay the course and stick to eating decent food. Eating food that's already in the house will do wonders for my bank account too. So we'll see what happens.

A month from now I'm going to be rich and thin...ner.

Friday, 12 May 2017

Better Late Than Never

Sorry about the delayed post. Things have been - understandably - hectic around here later.

No one really knew what they were doing

That is one cool raven

Welcome to the future 

He's really punching above his weight

I'd rather be on the winning side

I'm told that, sadly, not all of these work

This is disturbingly beautiful 
Yes it would

I'm this kind of friend
Down with the patriarchy!
See y'all Monday.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Fun Times With Friends

It didn't take long at all for my recently-divorced friend to come over. She actually came over yesterday. We had to go pick her up because her dad was being a bit of a cunt, but it all came together in the end. We had a pretty fun night; just catching up, making stupid jokes, and watching junk on TV while eating junk food. Occasionally we played with a cat.

I can say that I think I needed a night of just having fun and doing weird shit as much as she did. Unfortunately she admits that she didn't actually get any sleep because she couldn't turn her brain off long enough to. Hopefully she'll sleep better tonight.

It's kind of selfish but I missed getting to spend time with her. I do feel awful about what happened but it's nice to have my best friend back. We've always had each others backs and we always will. I also wish my room was a little bigger so that it was easier to navigate with an air bed on the floor but, eh, you deal with what you have.

We had some serious and thought provoking conversations as well. It wasn't all fun and games. She's going through some shit so that kind of stuff was bound to happen too. She had some serious conversations while I was asleep too, I found out this morning.

She's in a rough place right now, but I'm sure she can pick herself back up. She's always been good at that, even if she doesn't believe it right now.

Monday, 8 May 2017

With a Little Help From My Friends

I'm not going to go into to much detail because I don't think she'd appreciate me talking about it, but one of my friends recently got divorced. I'm going to be taking her in for a few days, and it could be a little longer than that. We aren't too sure yet. But I cleaned up my room and bought her an air bed for short term stays, and we have an actual spare room if she wants to stay for longer. I might even be getting a new cat. Well, it's her cat, but I'll be taking care of it. I don't know what's happening with that one yet. Updates on that when it happens I guess.

She's told me how much she appreciates how cool I've been about everything and how I always know just what to say. All of the people we went to school with have kids and are married now, and it left her feeling bad about her situation. I remarked that we have our whole lives ahead of us. All of our friends married young and had kids young. They're limiting themselves. We can be anything we want and be better than them. My dad didn't have his first kid until he was 40. He had the right idea. That seemed to cheer her up a lot.

I really do think that, no matter what happens to you, you can get by with a little help from your friends. With just that one person by your side, you can get through anything that comes your way. Just having someone to talk to, and having someone be there for her, made my friend feel so much better. That's really been the story of our lives since we met. We've always been there for each other. There are times when we were seperated, sure, but we always meet up once more.

Find yourself a friend like that.

Friday, 5 May 2017

It's The Weekend But I'm Still Working

Seriously. The one downside of being a freelancer is never getting to take a day off. Because every order I get has to be fulfilled within three days, I have to take a day off four days in advance.

How will we ever know what a brontosaurus tasted like?

The cat makes a good point

I would date an aircraft, particularly a heavily-armed one

Furries ruin everything. 

Time to test if your sense of humour is as dark as mine

I mean, if Jesus did it, it would be a hand job and not masturbation. So, technically...

Hell yeah!

I don't think my cat did but maybe other cats are different
This is harsh, and one of my deepest fears

At least he made it to his trial
Have a great weekend folks. I'll see y'all on Monday.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

To The Vets

Today I engage in one of my least favourite activities; taking a cat to the vet. Don't get me wrong, my vet is pretty cool, I just disagree with the whole process. First I have to find the cat, then I have to put her in a carrier (which she hates), and then drive her to the vet. Our vet is difficult to get into, and the parking lot is really small. There's space for like ten cars. Normally I have to get out the car and wait for my dad to park. Then, when all is said and done, I have to release her from her bondage at the house and hope that she still loves me.

Who am I kidding? Cats don't love people. They love food. As the supplier of food, she will continue to love me until the food runs out.
This is Kadie; the one going to the vets
Thankfully it's nothing serious. She just needs to get a booster shot of her vaccinations. We got her vaccinated around this time last year because I wanted to put her into a cattery when we went on holiday in August. Unfortunately I left booking the cattery too late so she had to stay with my brother and my niece.

Turns out my niece is allergic to cats and my brother isn't that reliable. We came home to find my other cat - Moo Moo - had a big patch of blood on her fur from a nasty flea infestation. Ultimately she lost all the fur on her leg. It took two rounds of steroids and several months for her to get back to her usual fluffy self.

This is Moo Moo
I left nothing to chance this year. We'll be visiting a cattery next week and - hopefully - booking their stay. This also means we'll have to take Moo Moo to the vet soon. She's even worse than Kadie. Kadie will let you hold her at least. The last time I took Moo Moo to the vet I had to literally drop her into the carrier and shut it before she could jump out.

Monday, 1 May 2017

All The Small Things

Nah this isn't a post about Blink 182. Although that is a good song. Ya see, last night I completed a game. It took around 45 hours in all to finish, and it took a few weeks, but it got done. It's not the longest amount of time I've ever put into a game (even though some would think 45 hours was too long for something like that). It's also nowhere near the longest I've taken to do something. Heck, I once wrote a story that took months to complete. It's over 160k words. Did you know Immortal Space has close to 200k words? That's why I never got it edited. Those fuckers charge by the word.

It doesn't matter how long it takes you to do something though. If you break it down enough, you'll be done before you realise. No one wants to go into something knowing they will be working on it for a long time. Except college and university I guess. But, if you look at a major goal, it sure seems like a lot of work and, damn, it's demotivating.

That's why you need to break those large goals down into smaller ones. Take my weight loss. I need to lose 150 pounds. Or more. Shit I'm unhealthy. That sounds like a lot because it is. Rather than try and lose 150 pounds, I should just try and lose 10. That's going to take a lot less time and it's going to be easier. What do I do when I lose those 10 pounds? Simple, I just lose another 10 and keep going until I'm where I want to be.

It's not like I sat down and wrote all of Immortal Space in one day. It took a long time. I wrote it one chapter at a time. Before I knew it I'd written a damn epic. Did you know the proper "definition" of a novel is anything over 50k words? Boy, I sure went over that.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, if you couldn't tell. I suppose I'm just saying that, no matter the size of a task, it can be done. Just break it down. Take it little by little until you've finished the whole thing.

You can do it.


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