Monday, 27 February 2017

I'm On The Pill

No need to worry too much; I'm not on the birth control pill. As a man, taking that pill would just really mess with my hormones anyway. I guess there is a little cause for concern as the pill that I'm on is Fluoxetine; an anti-depressant.
I mentioned on Thursday that I was going to the doctors for them, but I don't know I've mentioned them before then. I've actually been on them for a few months now. I started them when I kept messing up on that diet thing, because my depression was the main reason I was overeating. When I started taking them I was told it would be for at least six months. This past week I discovered that - because this is my third depressive episode - I would likely be on the pills for two years. That's also two years after I start feeling good. It's been four months and my two years haven't started yet.

Things were good the first month I started taking them. The second was better. Then my depression just kicked into overdrive for the past few months, so my doctor decided to increase the dosage. I've gone from 20mg a day to 40mg. I'm also in a position I never wanted to be in. I never wanted to be relying on pills just to live a normal life. That was the reason I was so hesitant about taking anti-depressants in the first place. But that's the situation I've found myself in, and this is what it's going to take to deal with it.

Friday, 24 February 2017

It's The Weekend

Well we all made it through another week, somehow. As for me, I'll be trying to do a good chunk of work so that I can have tomorrow off. I'm thinking about putting in some extra hours at Barnardos and spending some time with Paul. The way my work schedule has worked out says that such a feat is possible, if I work a little harder today.

As a retail expert, I can tell you this is masterful. 

I never really thought about how everyone would sit on the computers 

I need a baby crow 

This is actually remarkably depressing. 

I wish I could stitch. 

Shower beer is best beer  
Judgmental Shiba is Judging You

How I plan to propose 

Schrodinger is in trouble now

I like to think this store has every book. 
No matter what you do this weekend, make it a good one. Until Monday!

Thursday, 23 February 2017

Now I Have Too Much to Do

As is often the case when I find myself thinking I don't have enough to do, I woke up on Tuesday morning with frankly too much to do. I seem to have unspoken agreement with the universe that, should I ever feel worried about how much work I have, I need only mention this fear to someone to be overbooked. Which is exactly what happened. I went out of "Vacation Mode" (which means I can accept work again) on Monday night before going to sleep. The idea was that I would wake up to a few jobs I could handle in my fever-addled state. I had a few jobs before I was even asleep, and I was almost fully booked by the time I woke up.

I really need to stop worrying that going on "vacation" will mean the work isn't waiting for me when I get back. All the evidence seems to suggest that it's all there waiting for me. It's fine to take a day or two off if I need to. I'm sure I won't listen though, and will continue to be afraid that the work will dry up.

I was at least able to get some things done in my room during the past few days. I cleaned up a good chunk of it for a start. I even found something I thought was completely lost. It wasn't the thing I was looking for but, in my experience, you rarely ever find what it is you're actually looking for. I'm sure it'll turn up when I've given up all hope that it will.

I also finally re-hanged the mirror on my wall. It's a landscape mirror on two hooks, and one of the hooks fell off. I finally got tired of a mirror that was hanging diagonally and attached the other hook, so now I have a mirror once again. I also replaced the mattress on my bed. We had one downstairs that was a good fit, so I had to lug one mattress downstars, and one mattress upstairs, but it was worth it. This new one is springy and much thicker than the old one. Best of all, it doesn't have any springs sticking out of it that jab me in the night. I slept pretty well last night, and will hopefully continue to do so.

I have a doctors appointment today, so that should give me a short break from work. If only I wasn't still slightly stick and would need to walk through the wet and the cold to get there. I'm not even going for my physical sickness (I'm picking up my latest prescription of anti-depressants) but by the time I get there, who knows? Knowing my luck I'll have pneumonia or some shit.

I hope my dad can drive me instead. That'd be great.

Monday, 20 February 2017

I Have Nothing To Do

At the behest of practically everyone who knows my situation I decided to take a few days off work. It turns out I had so much work left to do though, that I only finished up this past Saturday. I don't know if I can really count yesterday as a day off given that I still volunteered, but for today at least I will be taking it easy.

This is going to drive me insane.

Long gone are the days where I could do nothing but play video games for 12 hours and not feel lazy or like I've wasted my time. Work has become a part of my life. Paul actually wanted me to take a week off, but that's just impossible. I didn't even take a week off when I literally went on holiday.

So today I'm going to have to think of other things to do. I think I might clean my room up a bit and search for some lost things.  I'm going to have a bath too, which is sorely overdue. First though, I'm going to go out for a walk in the murky, British weather. Paul was off all last week so it'll be weird to go on a walk without my big gay friend and his little gay dog.

I'll find some other ways to keep myself amused. I'm sure that I'll manage to stave off insanity for one more day and, by the time I wake up tomorrow ready for work, I'll feel exactly the same because one day isn't enough. If anything, I might feel worse because I also feel sick. Which is fun.

See you on the other side folks.

Friday, 17 February 2017

I Didn't Drive

I guess something important came up yesterday because I didn't have my driving lesson after all. My next one isn't until the end of the month either. On the one hand, I'll save money, but on the other, it sucks to go that long without driving.

See you in Hell folks!

I would do this for my cats. 

I kinda feel bad for the guy who did this

I also feel bad for Deadpool's daughter

They know what they did

It really doesn't get much scummier than that

I love redneck engineers

I mean, like 80% of the pictures on my phone are of my cats

Even plants know eating meat is the way!

I'm told this was a prank, but I'm sure it will be the future soon enough
Have a good weekend folks. I hear it's some kind of weekend holiday in America.

Thursday, 16 February 2017

The Right Support

I think I've been working too much lately. I can tell because my arms, and in particular my wrists, have started to ache. I already wear gloves when I write that are designed to prevent that kind of thing and they do a wonderful job. I can tell the difference when I type without them. But I guess I've been pushing them beyond their limits as well. So I decided to invest in wrist supports.

I have two different kinds because these are actually really expensive and I was lucky enough to get my dad to pay for the other one for me. After failing to put them on properly a number of times I finally grasped the secret and now they both fit snugly. It's another case of "I can really notice the difference". Typing doesn't bother me as much when I wear them., and it feels pretty good.

Even so, I should really take some time off work to rest and recover. I hate doing that though, because I hate not earning any money. Plus, in my line of work, you never know if the work will still be waiting for you when you come back. My boss at Barnardo's is currently enjoying one week off, and suggested I do the same, but I could never do that.

Heck, I was still working even while away on holiday last year.

I won't take a week off, but I think it's long past due I took a few days off. I'm going to book myself to have until next Tuesday off, and try and finish up whatever work I have left by Saturday so I get two days off. I'd try to finish by the end of tomorrow and enjoy a weekend off, but I don't think that's possible right now.

The weekends continue to be meaningless for me! Huzzah!

I also have a driving lesson later. Here's hoping my streak of not hitting things continues.

Monday, 13 February 2017

A Game of Thrones

This is a post idea that I've had tucked away in the back of my mind for a while, ready for a posting emergency such as today. I got really sick around the turn of the new year. So sick in fact, that I couldn't leave my bed without shivering or feeling like I was going to die. So I figured if I was going to spend 14 hours a day in bed I might as well enjoy myself. I gave in, and watched Game of Thrones.
Paul and his boyfriend have been telling me that I need to watch it for a while now. I will admit that the setting did appeal to me. I love things set (or at least that appear to be set) in a time of swords and magic. I didn't even dislike the idea of all the sex and nudity. No, my problem with the show was having to watch main characters die. There's nothing I hate more from a show, a game, a book, or anything else, more than when a main character dies.

As the show went on though, I found myself absolutely gripped by the story and the characters. There were some very sad scenes of course, but the other stuff made up for it. Before I knew it I had watched three seasons and there was no more hope for me. In a few weeks I had watched everything and am now awaiting season seven. I'd read the books but the show could be complicated enough at times and it takes George RR Martin forever to write new books.

I know I was late to the party myself, but I also know there are others who are reluctant about trying Game of Thrones for whatever reason. So I'll just say this; watch the first season. If you still want to watch the first season (which is filled with sex, violence, and tragedy) then you'll want to watch the rest. If not, then at least you gave it a chance.

There's a lot more I could say about the series but I figure I have said enough for one day.

Friday, 10 February 2017

I Was Up Too Late

Last night I found myself having a great conversation with someone who, thanks to extenuating circumstances, I haven't been able to talk with properly for a while. Before I knew it, it was 6AM and I was envisioning overdosing on caffeine the next day (today). Which is what I'm doing right now.

The hussie! 

V-Day is next week. Send this to a loved one. 

This totally looks like my cat, but my cat wouldn't be this dumb

Man I love Whose Line

True doe 
Well that has me convinced

This kid is going places. 

There's a tiny Australia in Australia. I wonder if they have tiny dingos. 

This is a one-crow murder of crows. 

I'll leave you with this parting message
Later on I'll be spending time with a small dog, and we got a little bit of snow, so it's not all bad. Have a great weekend guys!

Thursday, 9 February 2017

That Was Not the Best Lesson Ever

So my last driving lesson didn't go as well as the one before it. Perhaps waiting a week between lessons was a mistake after all. I hope not, given that my next one is over a week since my last one. This time it was just that was the closest available time. I don't know what it was but I just wasn't feeling it this time.

It didn't help that I made a mistake really early in the lesson. There were two mini-roundabouts in a row. I breezed through the first one, got complacent, and tried to breeze through the second. Unfortunately I should have stopped at the second one because there was a car coming. Martin hit the brakes for me, and I consider any lesson where he has to do that a failure. It was a pretty nasty blow to the confidence so early into the lesson.

We also practised the reverse left manoeuvre when we found a nice spot for it. I tried it three times, and failed it all three. Which really fucking sucks let me tell you. Either I was turning at the wrong time or I was going too fast.

There were some upsides though; some good things. Nothing is ever really all bad. I told Martin about how I was failing hazard perception. So, he had me do an exercise where I treated the whole lesson as a hazard perception test, pointing out any potential hazards we came across. He also helped out and pointed out some of the things I missed. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but we ran into a lot of hazards. It was good practice for that. I also overtook a horse and two cyclists properly. The horse was beautiful. I couldn't tell you what the cyclists looked like.

Martin did tell me that my driving was smoother than I thought it was, as he always does. I'd think he was lying to me but he's shown he has no problem being harsh but fair. So if he says it was smooth, then I'm inclined to believe him.

My next lesson is the day after Valentine's Day, so I guess that ruins my plans of drinking alone. Then again, I've never been hungover before.

Nah, I probably shouldn't risk it. 

Monday, 6 February 2017

Back to Studying

Oh look a post about learning to drive that isn't about a specific lesson I had.

I mentioned in my last driving lesson post that I really need to hurry up and pass the theory test. I don't know how much of a thing this is elsewhere (my American friend seemed to have no idea it existed) but it's basically a written test you have to take before you can take the practical test with an examiner and get your full license. It's divided into two sections; the theory test and hazard perception.

During the hazard perception test you are shown 14 clips of a car driving. Each clip contains a hazard; something that forces the car to slow down. You have to click your mouse whenever you see the hazard developing and, as you can see from the image above, you score points based on how well you can spot the hazard.

I've pretty much got the theory test itself down. I miss a few questions here and there but, more often than not, I pass the mock test. I really suck at hazard perception though. Part of the problem is that, for whatever reason, my new computer wasn't compatible with the software. I believe it's caused by the display ratio as some things don't display properly unless I run them at a smaller resolution.

The good news is I still have my old laptop. I just let my brother borrow it. So yesterday I borrowed it back, fired up the theory test software, and gave it a go. As I expected; I passed the theory test portion and failed the hazard perception test portion.

I'm sure a little practice will make perfect though. There was a time I was always failing the theory test. Now I almost always pass it.

Friday, 3 February 2017

I Took On Too Much Work

As per usual I got worried about how much work I had through Fiverr, and so I asked my only source of work outside the platform for additional work. Now I have too much work. In the immortal words of Barney Gumble; "Don't cry for me. I'm already dead".

I don't know what this vending machine is insinuating but I want no part of it

Gee, I wonder if this clearly pregnant woman is pregnant. 

This is a great fucking Twitter follow

I wish I could have hamsters again. I have cats though. 

I didn't realise Spanish was such a beautiful language. 

Technically true


This still happens to me.

...I don't know why I found this so entertaining and satisfying. 

 The more you know! 
Have a great weekend folks. I'll try to survive.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

I Prefer The Original

This is a post that could quickly get away from me, so I apologise in advance about any rambling I may or may not do.

When people ask me if I prefer books or movies, the answer is always books. It's not that I think movies aren't very good. There are some excellent movie adaptations. It's just that I prefer the original version of things. Things get lost when a book becomes a movie. Sometimes entire characters are lost. For me, that's just not good enough.

The same thing applies to everything I do really. I don't like it when people wear a lot of make-up and I've never been a fan of dyed hair. It can look nice, sure, but it's just not the same. Perhaps it's just the embodiment of my utter disdain for change? Who knows.

When I watch anime (as I am want to do) I have to watch the original Japanese versions. I can't stand dubbed anime because so much of the content is lost. 4Kids - the people who dubbed Pokémon - cut out entire episodes. I actually can't go back and watch the original episodes of Pokémon anymore because they changed so much and, for whatever reason, it was never fansubbed. That's how petty/insane I am. I love Pokémon. I want to be able to watch it. But thinking of how butchered the English versions are just leaves me unable to. It's weird, but that's kind of who I am. I've actually seen so much subbed anime I can recognise Japanese voice actors, much like most people recognise the voice of Tara Strong; who's been in just about everything ever.

There are very few exceptions to this for me. The main one is Lord of the Rings. I enjoy the movies, but I've never been able to get through the books. They're just too long. Dracula too. The movie was Gary Oldman was fantastic. The book? I just can't get through it.

For the most part though I have, and always will, prefer the original versions. It's why I never watched a Harry Potter movie after the fourth one. They're great and all; but I don't understand why Rowling let them change her books so much. If there was ever an Immortal Space movie it would probably be 10 hours long or something.

These were just thoughts I've had circling around my head for a while now. It's times like this I'm glad I have a blog. It gives me an outlet.


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