Thursday, 5 January 2017


The title of this post is a Simpsons reference. Homer learns the Chinese use the same word for both "crisis" and "opportunity" and dubs the word "Crisitunity" (which is apparently a word my spell checker says is real). So anyway my first driving lesson of 2017 was this week. It was a bit of a mixed bag, as they always are.

I was kind of distracted by things going on in my life, and driving while distracted is never a good thing. You need to focus on the road ahead and behind you. Focus has always been an issue I have. I'm never really able to completely focus on a task and I constantly get distracted.

Because of these distractions I ended up making several mistakes. The most prominent mistake was shifting the gear down too soon, which causes the car to jerk. It sucked because I'm normally very good with gear changes. The worst mistake I made was not checking a junction properly before turning off. I only looked right and didn't check the left, which would have been a disaster had anything been coming from the left. Thankfully nothing was coming the other way so I managed to avoid death once again.

The crisitunity (which is apparently no longer a real word) also came from one of these mistakes. I ended up missing a right turn and the road ended with a dead end. So the only way to correct the problem was to do a three-point turn. Or as it's now known, a turn in the road. I also stopped a little too close to the end of the road to give myself enough room to turn properly. Martin, my instructor, predicted it would take at least nine turns to fully turn the car.

"Fuck that" I said to myself, and proceeded to do it in five. I was actually aiming for three but Martin later explained that not even a fully qualified driver could have made that turn in three without some kind of technology. I forgot the exact word he said but his car didn't have it. He also actually expected me to make it in seven, and nine was a conservative estimate. So I beat his expectations, even after fucking up.

Let that be a lesson to you folks; every mistake presents the chance for a success, and crisitunity may or may not be a real word. 


  1. Please don't share this new word with my brother-in-law. His name is Cris, and he's conceited, and any chance he can get he will insert his name into anything (last week it was 'Merry Crismas', har har).

    That aside, well done on making the best of a few bad situations and killing that turn. Just remember - it'll keep getting easier, and even well seasoned drivers still fuck up from time to time.

  2. Thanks for teaching me the Homerian word "crisitunity" -- it will now enter my permanent vocabulary.

  3. My current car has a back-up camera on it, so I am able to do all sorts of things I never would have been able to do in my old car. A 3-point turn on a dead-end road, though? Hmmm, maybe...

  4. You may have a career as a stunt driver or something! Glad you made it one piece. : )

  5. You should have put your foot down and handbraked it round in one. That would have impressived your instructor!

  6. Has your instructor told you if the cars in front of you are braking you should brake too and not wait till he screams brake over and over in a loud tone


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