Monday, 29 February 2016

I Need Help

I'm writing this less to inform you but more to make sure I do what I say. Because I have a rather bad habit of not sticking to what I say sometimes. But the thing is I really do need help. I'm eating far too much. I eat a lot of junk food and I don't work out anymore. I'm not sure I've been to the gym all month. Paul hasn't been able to go and I'm not good at going out unless someone makes me. Heck that was why I bought those weights.

But it gets worse than that. I find it very difficult to be full. Just eating more I could take. Not feeling like cooking I could take too. I can find low fat and low calorie options that don't ruin a diet rather than buying junk food. But the fact is that if I do get full, I'm hungry again a few hours later. I don't know if I'm developing, or have developed, an eating disorder. I don't know if my stomach acid is too potent or there's too much of it. I don't even know if that's a thing. All I know is that as it stands I need help. I lost eighty pounds last year and if this keeps up I'll put it all back on this year.

That's why I'm telling you that I plan to call the doctor and book an appointment. I'm going to ask him for help and see what, if anything, they can do. At the very least I'll probably be referred to another dietician.

All I know is that once I start eating I find it very hard to stop. I get hungry too quickly, and I find it very difficult to tell myself not to eat something.

So, yeah, I need help and I plan on getting it.

Friday, 26 February 2016

Have A Laugh. Or Something.

I had a busy week. Looks like I may be in for a busy weekend too. Wheee. 

I need dis 
There's a chart people! 

John Cena is a wonderful human being

....I could take it

I do this all the time. I've moved around my cat in an effort to not disturb her. 

Fuck you Sarah!

I don't know why this always made me laugh

And that's when I got buttsexed

I'll leave you with something beautiful. 

Thursday, 25 February 2016

RamblingPerson Needs Glasses

The title of this post is an ever so subtle reference to one of the most remembered scenes from The Simpsons.

Made with, for all your Simpsons quote needs
As the title of the post suggests I came out of my eye exam on Tuesday needing glasses. I can actually still see to the second top row but the optician never confirms if you get the letters right. For some reason my eyes are actually still healthy as they were, but my sight is a little bit worse. I decided to buy the glasses and get reflective lenses to shield my eyes from further damage. Now that I'm a writer I spend a good 70-80% of my day staring at a screen and that's not good for my eyes.
Though I do take steps to protect my eyes like using Flux
When I told the optician I planned on learning to drive over the summer he gave me another field of vision test to make sure I still had the peripheral vision necessary to drive. Even though I have strabismus and can only see out of one eye at a time I've always had good peripheral vision. The eye I'm not seeing through is still getting messages and sending them to the brain. To be honest I thought I failed the test miserably. You have to follow a red light and press a clicker whenever you see a green one. Except the green one is sometimes so faint you could barely see it if you were looking at it. Did get to wear a cool eye patch though.

In any event I passed that test too. So I can look forward to getting some glasses next week and a drivers license over the summer. I was able to use the frame I got from Firmoo to save some money too. Though this expense has still left me broke for a few weeks.

Monday, 22 February 2016

The Good, The Bad, and The Heavy

This weekend was really divided into a mix of good, bad, and heavy rather than ugly. Let's start with the good, which was also kinda a mix with bad. The good is that I earned about $100 or so. It was closer to $130 but the website I work for takes a 20% cut which is kinda dickish of them. It's one dollar in five which doesn't sound bad when it's actually one dollar in five, but when it's twenty dollars in a hundred it sucks.

Fiverr is nice if you aren't earning a lot I guess
The bad is that all the work nearly drove me insane and did actually make me sick. I had two days to get through three to four days of work. On Saturday I actually almost worked until I passed out. I did work my way into a cold though. See, unless I'm doing something with or for someone I have trouble putting off work and taking a break. I haven't been to the gym in two weeks because I just don't have two hours to cobble together without Paul telling me to go. That's where we get to the heavy.
I'll be surprised if I know how any of this stuff works. 
The heavy is, of course, me. But not just me. I decided "fuck it" and I ordered some dumbbells off of Amazon. They were the cheapest I could find and are a good 30KG worth of plates. That should keep me busy for a while. I can press a good 35-40 kilos but for some reason I can only curl around 15. I also found a cross trainer for less than £100 but I can't afford that just yet. See, I figure that if I'm going to be too busy to go to the gym I can just bring some of the gym home. I've already gotten it figured out. 

I use my new dumbbells to work my arms and legs (I believe I can put them on my feet and lift them that way), I use squats and sit ups to work my core, thighs, and glutes, and I use my mini exercise bike for cardio. Bam! Tiny home gym. I'm considering buying a new mini exercise bike too. The one I have is nice but the resistance setter is broken so it's not a workout at all. Well, it is, but not much of one. 

Bad diet + no exercise = weight gain. It's way passed time I got serious about both again. Especially now I have the money to do this kind of thing. Not to mention setting up a small home gym means I can save my dad some money seeing how he's the one paying for my gym membership. It does mean the end of my social life though. Going to the gym with Paul was the only time I interacted with other humans outside of volunteering. 

Looks like it's time to be a full term shut in again! YAY! 

Friday, 19 February 2016

Friday Fun Stuff

On the plus side my face hurts less. I think keeping pressure off of it will help and I probably won't need to see a doctor. On the downside I ate four easter eggs in two days. I...I have no words.

Totes a duck

This is exactly what I see

Yes they do

There's no such thing as a loveless sex life

We sometimes get political here at The Rambling Person

He's right you know... 
Oh Canada

It helped me

What matters is you win eventually!

It's scary how true this is
I know it's the kind of joke you'd find on Facebook but, hey, it's still kind of funny. 
Have a good weekend folks. I'm going to try and go a weekend without eating pizza. It's really, really sad to think that's a thing I've actually said. Man I started this year determined to lose weight. The fuck happened to me?

Thursday, 18 February 2016

And Now My Face Hurts

My body really is beginning to fall apart on me. Everything just seems to be hurting or on the verge of hurting. Right now it's my face. I've been leaning on the left side of my face using my hands a lot and I guess the pressure must have gotten to it or something. I just know that I chewed something yesterday then bam! pain flares up on my lower jaw.
This bit right here!
If it still hurts in the morning I'll try and get myself checked in with the doctor. It makes chewing painful and pain is never good anyway. There's also the possibility it could be a dental issue but I'd rather visit a doctor first anyway. Visiting a doctor is free. I'd have to pay for a dentist to even look at me. But obviously if the doctor says I should get my ass to a dentist then that's what I'll do.

I need to do it anyway. I'm just putting it off until I can reasonably afford it. Given that I could end up having to pay up to £100 for a pair of glasses soon that time is not coming up.

On the plus side though I've been able to do a little work in the house. I ripped up the carpet on the attic stairs so that I can get up and down them easier. It was going to be replaced anyway. I also made some room up there to move things in to storage eventually and rearranged my own room.

I think this is the manliest I've ever felt. Except for my weak ass jaw of course.

Monday, 15 February 2016

I Feel Like Something Crawled In To My Nose And Died

Apologies for that not so flattering imagery but to be honest I really feel like crap. Last week was brutal and ended with me feeling pretty sick, among other things. I also still have a lot of work to do. Yay. I'm actually writing so much that my right bicep is starting to hurt and it's been suggested by a friend I stretch before and after writing. It seems insane one can write that much.

Now if I could focus all that writing power on to fiction. Oh well. Can't argue with earning them dolla dolla bills though.
Here's hoping I feel better soon and that this week will be better than the last one. Doubt it though.

Friday, 12 February 2016

Take The Funny Things

It's Valentines this Sunday. Any of y'all got plans?

Seriously Linda what the fuck

Don't be stupid and fry sticks in a non-stick pan

I've actually felt like this before

I know which one I'd rather be. Megtraon FTW.

I'm not kidding when I say I loved this cartoon for the music

Racism is everywhere

Allergy season is coming back!

I didn't know Nintendo made the Playstation

It really could be his only chance to get an Oscar.


"Gettin real tired of your shit"
Enjoy your weekend, and have a fun V-Day whether you have someone this year or not. If you don't have someone then, hey, love yourself.

Thursday, 11 February 2016

You Need To Get Your Eyes Tested Mate

I don't know if "You need to get your eyes tested" is a phrase outside of England, but it does have literal connotations for me. After getting several letters from my opticians I gave in and booked myself an eye exam. Coincidentally enough it falls on a day that my dad has an eye test too. It'll be on the 23rd of this month so I have time without glasses yet.
Though as I've proven before I look damn good in glasses
To be honest I think I really might need glasses this time. Which is one reason I've been putting it off. The last time I had my eyes tested I was told that I have Strabismus, a condition that means I only see out of one eye at a time. I was also told that my right eye is weaker than my left eye and I had a little bit of short sightedness in my right eye. It's been a few years since then and, obviously, my eyes are weaker.

Actually I did try on a pair of glasses at work last week. They actually made things a little clearer though, because they weren't for me, they did still strain my eyes. With how much I write I spend a lot more time looking at a computer screen than I used to. It's hard to believe but all this writing is putting a serious strain on my arms rather than my hands. My right bicep especially somehow hurts.

It's almost enough to consider writing an exercise. A friend recommended that I do actually take the time to stretch. But how does one stretch an upper arm?

Monday, 8 February 2016

Well That Didn't Last Long

So last week I was all haughty and declared that I wouldn't eat junk food for a whole month. I fully intended to do just that. I really thought I could do it too. Then this past weekend happened. I was lonely and alone. They are two separate things after all. So I did what I always do in that situation. I ordered pizza.

I'm not proud of that by any stretch of the imagination. In fact when I told my friend I had done it my exact words were "shame begets shame" because yeah, it felt shitty. It felt wrong and if I could take it back I would. But I can't.

What I can do is move forward and not do it again. I already resisted the urge to buy more pizza yesterday. At least that time it was more out of tiredness than comfort eating. The only thing worse than getting four hours of sleep is getting it in two installments of two hours.

That's another thing I need to do. I need to find a better way of dealing with my loneliness than comfort eating. I know one of the answers to that is to get more friends but I'm comfortable with things like that. I don't really want more friends. I just wouldn't mind more time with the ones I have.

Anyway sorry to be such a downer first thing in the week. The thing I need the most right now is accountability though. I need to tell you guys when I mess up.

Christ I sound like I'm in Alcoholics Anonymous or something. One thing I never got about A.A is if it's Alcoholics Anonymous why does everyone say their name?

Friday, 5 February 2016

Friday Fun Times

It's Friday, what more do you want? Other than real content I guess. Go have fun.

Treating her like a real princess
You'll never unsee this


It's too real.

Who doesn't like big books? Liars that's who.

Ooooooh burn. Like burning in Hell.
Spot the vegan!
I got a confession to make...
I'll leave you with something from Doctor Who. It's not funny but it is some wise words. Last weekend I got lonely and binge watched season two. Anyway, here, have some smart words or something. Oh and have a good weekend.
There is bad in this world, but the good makes it worth it.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

I Put On A Few Pounds

So I said on Monday I wasn't looking forward to weighing myself. I still did it of course. I dragged myself up to that gym, realised I left my card at home (thankfully I still had money for the locker) and was let in by the nice ladies at the front desk. Be nice to reception people folks. They're usually nice to you too.
The scales at my gym are stuck in kilograms. There is a button for pounds but I've never gotten it to work. But as the title of the post says I put on a few pounds. What I actually put on was a kilo, which is roughly two pounds. It was almost exactly a kilo. It's still the first gain I've recorded though. So it's still bad. Even if it was just two pounds. Which is pretty damn remarkable consiering I had Chinese food on Saturday and pizza on Sunday.
I was trying to fill the void in my soul with food. It didn't work
There's a good chance that, despite all the crap I ate, I actually would have lost a decent amount. Especially if I didn't eat all of that crap. Now that I've sworn off junk food for the month of February I wonder what kind of loss I can expect at the start of March. Something good hopefully.

If you're wondering the post was delayed due to the sheer amount of work I have. Right now I'm working on nine orders. God damn.

Monday, 1 February 2016

Not The Best Start To The Year

In the interests of following through with my new years resolutions to eat less and write more I decided to make myself accountable. So it's the first of Februrary and now it's time to check in and take a look at how much writing I did in The Spirit.

Not a lot. That's the short answer.

Okay it's not quite nothing. I ended up writing around 5k words overall. But it was only one chapter. Which is way down from the one chapter a week I wanted to be doing. I have been kept seriously busy by writing work though. I made quite a good amount last month. Actually if I make that amount every month I'll come close to reaching the tax bracket. But I'll likely never finish a book.

Eating hasn't been going much better either. Extra money comes with extra laziness to me. To that end I have decided to do something special this month. I'm deciding to challenge myself. I'm going to do the Frugal February Challenge as I call it.

Simply put I'm not going to buy any food this month. Well, no food that doesn't come from a supermarket or grocery store. No takeaways, no trips to the store across the road, no nothing. No food expenditures. I'm also going to try and cut back on the personal spending, but with how much I work I have to treat myself every so often.

I just have to do it in ways that don't involve pizza and burgers.

Man I ain't looking forward to weighing myself.


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