Monday, 30 November 2015

Looks Like I'm Not Making My First Appearance (Yet)

This is a post I've been wanting to make for a while yet. Luckily it's a post that won't end up out of date so I can still make it now. I posted a while back that I was contacting my library to see if I could take advantage of their local author's booth.
I love this library
I finally bit the bullet and gave them a call. I knew they only did one display a month so I was expecting a wait. What I didn't expect was so late that the library would actually no longer be running the program. See, they were booked up until March which also has the distinction of being the last month of the fiscal year.
That's when y'all pay taxes
They don't know for sure if they'll be continuing the program after March. They might but they're also considering another option. The other option is holding an open day type event for several authors, rather than just one. That's the kind of thing I'd be bad at to be honest. I know it would do me a lot of good but I'd be too awkward and nervous to talk to anyone or make myself stand out above the other authors.

I've been added to a mailing list so I'll know which program they go with. If they go with any. And I'll try to get myself on the program when it's announced. For now though my hopeful appearance at the library is not to be.

I'll need to find somewhere else to turn up.

Friday, 27 November 2015

Laziest Week Ever

I think all in all about ten lines have been posted to this blog this week. That's awesome and yet terrible at the same time. Anyway, have a good laugh on me as you're undoubtedly still in a food coma from Thanksgiving. Or, if you're not American, you're tired from the drudgery of daily life.

"Pregnancy" is the most terrible STD
...They aren't wrong
We can have good jokes about anything

Every. Single. Day. 
I loved Geoffrey. 
Can confirm I celebrated this yesterday
I'm convinced I need a tree now
If you do go out today then stay safe. 

Thursday, 26 November 2015

Happy Turkey Day!

What are you reading this for? Go eat some turkey.
People that don't have Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for anyway?

Monday, 23 November 2015

I Was Interviewed

I was interviewed about Immortal Space. What are you reading this for? Go check it out here.

Laziest post ever!

I'd copy out parts of the interview but hey they took the time to do the interview so I might as well link to them.

Friday, 20 November 2015

Friday Funsies #1298421

I have something cool coming up on Monday. For now just enjoy these maybe not cool, but still funny, things that I am providing for you.

When you see it...
Kids can be so cruel
Fuck the police!
I'm still sad about Jabba
I only remember cussing in front of my mother once
Tell them I hate them too
Because being a baby is too easy
You know, unless Vader told him to miss deliberately and then he does hit something afterwards
They...they aren't wrong
And I'll leave you with the best parental advice of the 21st century

Thursday, 19 November 2015

Who Doctors The Doctors?

This is two weeks in a row now that I've been hoping to update y'all about a successful post-surgery check up. I was supposed to have a quick check up last week but the hospital called and said they had to cancel. I was able to get it rebooked to this week, Tuesday to be precise, only for them to call Tuesday morning and tell me that it had to be rearranged again because the consultant was ill.
Srs; who doctors the doctors?
Now it's been rearranged to next week so hopefully the third time is the charm and I actually get seen next week. I can give you a brief report though. The pain in my throat that I was complaining about a week or so ago has gone down quite a lot. Actually it only really hurts now when I stretch my mouth, such as when I yawn. Which happens a sadly large amount of times.
I'm not sure if these cats are yawning or extremely happy
I also still have a bit of cottonmouth but I'm sure that too will pass. Maybe I'll be completely healthy and pain free by next week. Which is not very likely knowing me. Because it's Winter I can look forward to months of having a cold actually. I still prefer Winter over Summer but damn I miss being healthy sometimes. Actually during Summer I'm plagued with allergies. I'm ill all year round.

Fuck sake.

Though by far the biggest issue I've had is my diet. Post surgery my diet was pretty restricted and I ended up eating pretty badly. I've had trouble adjusting back to my regular diet because of it. I stocked up on fruit when I went shopping yesterday so hopefully that kicks me back into gear and I lose the weight I've undoubtedly put on and then get back to losing more weight still. I guess we'll see.

Monday, 16 November 2015

Forgotten Writing Memories

As you all know by now I'm a freelance writer in my spare time (read; whenever someone hires me). This past week my Fiverr account practically blew up and so far this month I've made about $90. I don't expect that to last though so I won't be getting hyped about that. I'm just pleased to get work when I can.
It's always nice to read those kinds of figures though
Anyway one of the jobs last week involved writing a script for a promotional video. Writing a script meant getting an idea of timing so I found myself on an old writing haunt of mine Quabel. I'd link to it but you'll find out why I won't in a minute. Quabel was what I used before I put Microsoft Office on my computer. It was distraction free, had a word count, and also gave predictions about reading and speaking time. I wrote podcast scripts on there to give me an idea of how long a podcast would last. I fed the script into it and saw it would take about two and a half minutes to read, which is plenty for a promotional video.

While I was there I saw a notice that said that they would be closing down on November 27th because they didn't have enough time to run the site anymore. To that end everyone should download their documents. So I spent a good ten minutes looking through and downloading all my documents. It was a pretty big nostalgia trip.

This is only a portion of my documents there
The original few chapters I wrote for Caspian are up on there. As is the original version of the story I wrote where I practically wrote out my suicide note in the form of fiction. That fanfic I always refer to but will never link to. I think I did link to it once. The Bullet is up there, as is the original version of The Beast.

There are also a few unfinished stories on there. By the time I was done I had collected two or three stories that were unfinished. I also had no copies of these stories on my computer. If it wasn't for the fact I had a job that had me use Quabel I might not have gone back on there before they closed their doors and those stories would be lost forever.

It was nice seeing the stories I'd written before up there. But I have to say it was better to save stories I need to complete one day.

If you're that curious about my fictional suicide note you can find it here.

Friday, 13 November 2015

Let The Laziness Continue!

It's Friday, have some funny pictures. We all need a laugh every now and then.

Grandpa jokes are a level above dad jokes
That's just razy lacism.
I want to believe. This also happened near me!
I also want this to be true
As a white person I can confirm this
I've also done things like this before
I hate the dub but I love cheesy one liners
Fun fact; Wonderwall was the only song I could play on the guitar.
Nissan why you so funny?
Needlessly hilarious
It's just guy love, between two guys
This always cracks me up
Finally some cats because every good post needs cats

Thursday, 12 November 2015

Hand Made

Like most denizens of the internet I have spent some time, and a lot of money, over on Etsy. Just last week I found myself there again and I'd like to tell you all a little story. I also feel I should point out I wasn't paid for this at all and the person I'm writing this about has no idea I'm even doing it.

Well anyway if you're unfamiliar with Etsy it's a site that allows people to sell their handmade goods. Hence the title of the post. A lot of the site is dedicated to fans of certain shows. Indeed a lot of my My Little Pony stuff actually comes from Etsy. This time I went for something a little different and had a teeny tiny doll/plush made of a character from a manga that quickly became one of my favourite mangas.
The manga is called Ah! My Goddess and yes I'm aware I have issues.
Anyway I looked around and I did indeed find someone who I could commission a small plush. I found larger plushes too but I was on a budge so I had to stick to a small one. That's when I found Carmen, who runs the Etsy shop OOKAPlush (One of a Kind Plush). At first I wasn't sure what to expect given the size but when she was finished Carmen sent me a picture to make sure I was happy and boy was I. She arrived yesterday and the finished product is just as good as it was before she was sent out.
Look how cute she is. And good quality too given it's the size of my hand and fits in my shirt pocket.
Carmen also included a few little touches that helped make me smile by wrapping her up in nice gift wrap and including a small little card too.

I don't know about you guys but those small touches really mean a lot to me. It's probably a good thing no one saw me unwrap the package because, you know, looking like a two year old while you unwrap a custom made anime plush is hardly something that a 25 year old man should be seen doing.

But hey, if you find you need a character recreating in tiny form then I can't help but recommend Carmen and the lovely work she does. She has a lot of the more popular characters ready to go in her store but she also does take commissions. The commissions take a few weeks to build but like I said a lot of care and quality goes into them. If I can get her just one more sale then I'll be happy. We are coming up on the holidays after all.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to go die in shame and embarrassment at the prospect of having written this post. This is one of the things that's going to come and bite me in the ass if I get famous. This and the rest of this blog.

Monday, 9 November 2015

Meeting The (Local) Authors

A few weeks ago my dad found a copy of one of my books lying around. One of my nieces grabbed it and I didn't notice. I hope they didn't read it as barely any of those stories are fit for kids. Anyway, he asked me if he could keep it and I said sure. Fast forward to two weeks ago and I find myself thinking that because he never mentioned it again, he must not have liked it. About ten minutes after I think that he tells me he likes it and that he would poke around and see if he could find any help for local authors. Specifically me.

I believe I may be psychic because this is hardly the first time someone has responded to my thoughts like that. Okay I'm not being super serious there but it was nice that he said he liked it and wanted to help. He even said he wanted to send a copy to one of my aunts and gave me the money to pick up a copy of Tulips to send to her, and a copy of Immortal Space to give to him. I'm finally going to get a physical copy of it.

You can help too by buying one of my books.
So he looks around and he finds that the large library near me has a local authors stall and that there would be some local authors there last week. I thought it would be a good chance to talk to them and find out if they had any advice, not for writing, but marketing. Marketing is what I suck at. Mostly out of an inability to afford advertising.

So last week we packed our bags (not literally) and headed out to the library. But unfortunately we missed them. We got there for 2PM, which is when my dad thought it started, but it seems that was when it ended. So I actually failed to meet the local authors and get some help from them.

However my dad did take a note of the number on the stall. It had a number for people to set up an event of their own. So it would be nice to give them a call and see if I could get anything up there. Just go to the place and meet people and try and talk to them. It's a start.

That won't be for a few months though. They only set it up once a month and they have someone lined up for next month. Plus right now I'm far too depressed to do something like that. It got so bad that my boss asked me what was wrong. Not that I told him. I don't think I could even if I wanted to.

Friday, 6 November 2015

Have A Laugh

I did have an idea for a post but I'm going to make it a different day when it'll be a little more timely. In the meantime have a good laugh on me.

We need to stop Stephen King before he uses his power for evil.
If I have kids I hope they stub their toe. A lot.
None of my family play the same games as me or I'd do this
Those shirts used to be white
People need to learn to take a joke
Technically accurate
It's every parent's nightmare!
Poor bastard
Damn straight
It's funny because it mocks their lack of sportsball championships.
See ya Monday for a real post about real things.


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