Friday, 30 January 2015

Well So Much For That

So yesterday I wrote a pretty nice post about how I hoped that I would manage to have a pretty decent day seeing an old friend, and that some things could hopefully be forgotten if only for a short time. So much for that, as the name implies. She sent me a message yesterday saying that she wouldn't get to see me actually and instead of me walking down to the train station to meet her, her brother is going to instead.
I ain't mad or anything, just a little let down. I mean, it's her brother and he comes first, and I should still get to see her tomorrow so I guess there's that. At least I don't have to wake up early now eh? I did manage to have a somewhat decent day yesterday. I hit the gym and thankfully my phone wasn't stolen after I accidentally left it on a machine before going in to the shower, where it stayed for a good fifteen to twenty minutes.
This blog needs more cats
After that my boss actually took me on a short trip to get something to eat and we went to a noodle bar. It was the first time I'd been to a proper one. I tried to use chopsticks for a good five seconds before I gave up. They interest me but I still have no clue how to work them. Ah well. At least the noodles were really nice. Unfortunately they didn't have the kind of chicken my boss really liked but I think he was happy with what he got. Well anyway, if you need me I'll be over here trying to stave off insanity and loneliness.

Thursday, 29 January 2015

Meeting Old Friends

Despite the terrifically shit year I've been having so far there was one piece of good news that came my way recently. A friend told me that after moving away a few years ago she's coming back to town for the weekend and she wants to spend some time together on Saturday night. I'll also be meeting her tomorrow morning because the train station is just down the road from me.
To be honest I actually didn't get to say goodbye to her either. She just left and the last time she saw me I had my headphones in so I didn't hear her calling out to me. For whatever reason she didn't come up and tap me on the shoulder. I think she was with her friends at the time and didn't realise it would be the last time she saw me for so long. It'll be nice to meet up with her again. Especially because I never did get that chance to say goodbye properly. One of the few things I take away from Jessica leaving is that we got to spend we spend some time together one more time.
She herself was actually back in England last week but she was down in London with her girlfriend's family, so even if I could have gotten there she wouldn't have been able to spend time with me. She is set to come back to this area over the summer though and that would be great. For now though I get to spend some time with an old friend, with the promise of another further down the line. January started shit, stayed shit, but hopefully will end with "not bad".

When was the last time you reconnected with an old friend? 

Monday, 26 January 2015

Immortal Space Update/Announcement

For the people who aren't aware, Immortal Space is a story I started writing not long after I actually started writing this blog. I think I've been writing it about two years now. I've been writing it off and on and there have been times I stopped writing it entirely, only to go back to it later. At the last update I said I was writing things that were coming up to the end and having some trouble thinking up an ending. I don't know if I mentioned that part, but that's where I was.
I also enjoy "And then they all fucked. The end."
Well after talking with a friend about her own plans for a book, I decided that it was about time I wrote out a plan for Immortal Space so I knew how it was ending and where it was going. She told me she was writing chapter summaries and I decided to do the same. It was easy at first because I was just summarising the chapters I'd already written and there was a lot. It turns out that writing summaries for chapters I hadn't written yet ended up being pretty easy too and it went well once I got started.
This is how my cat reacted
That's right folks; the good news is that Immortal Space is now completely planned out. Well, a summary of the entire story anyway. I might deviate a bit but I have everything I need to write it fully. The bad news is I was actually pretty close to the end, but I'm writing the final draft. So I'm rewriting everything. Again. That said, I do at least know how far along I am with the story and there shouldn't be any real delays in it's release.

Expect Immortal Space some time this year, potentially some time in the next six months. I'll keep you updated as I go.

Friday, 23 January 2015

I Just Earned Fifty Dollars

Well not literally just right now, but yesterday. I earned me a cool fifty dollars by doing some writing. I'm part of a number of online freelancing sites but right now the only one I really use is With the other sites I'm on I have to apply for jobs, only occasionally being contacted directly by an employer to interview for a job. The worst thing about that? I actually never got a job off someone who contacted me directly about work.
Although to be fair for some of those people I had to send them a message back saying that I wasn't available for work. It didn't take me too long to find a job on those sites once I took it seriously. Though we all know how that eventually worked. Fiverr is a bit different from those sites though. I've blogged about the service before because I've used it as a buyer as well as a seller. Instead of people posting jobs and you apply for them, you offer your services. There are gigs for pretty much literally everything. It's a great place to get some cheap advertising and graphic design done; things that can typically be expensive.
I recently became a level 1 seller on there after making some sales and getting 100% perfect feedback (go me). That means that people can order more than one of something I offer. The only thing I really offer at this point is article writing. So I woke up to find out that someone had ordered an article. By the time I finished my breakfast I found out someone had ordered not one, but EIGHT articles. I originally told them it might take more than a day, but I had too much time today and was able to get it done. Then someone ordered another article. That's ten articles, which is 50 dollars. Oh yeahhhh. The only downside is Fiverr takes 1 dollar out of each sale, which is how they make their money. I really only earned 40 dollars, but hey that's still a good amount and earns me a few more months of freedom to write. Got a big update on Immortal Space I'll save for a post of it's own. This is already too long.


Thursday, 22 January 2015

That Didn't Go According To Plan

In further evidence that so far this year really hates me and is getting off to an absolutely terrible start (I'm not even exaggerating) my weight loss plans didn't quite go according to, well, plan. I didn't totally expect them to but I had a small shred of hope you know? For some reason I keep that tiny sliver of hope alive inside somewhere.
I always say hope is the worst thing you can lose
As I said my efforts didn't quite pay off. I put on weight; a lot at that. A whole six pounds and I don't even know how. Well, I do. I ate a lot more than I should and I know everything that went wrong. The trick is to make sure they don't go wrong again and to not let this get me down. To be honest though right now I'm so fucking depressed it's unreal. I'll be hitting the gym again today because I made a commitment. That's one upside to having a gym buddy. Guilt makes you go. I don't want to fall off the wagon but fuck, I'm such a mess inside right now.

Monday, 19 January 2015

I Take This S**t Seriously

You might recall that I said on Thursday I was supposed to get weighed but didn't because of my health, and that I felt I had gained weight. I actually even weighed myself at the gym and saw that I had. So I knew that I had to do something about that. I get weighed tomorrow and we'll see how any changes I made go.
I can't hear the word "changes" without singing it
So what did I change? I exercised my bloody ass off for a start. I went to the gym on Friday and really exercised hard at home on Wednesday and Thursday. I took a break on Saturday because I knew I would be working yesterday and that involved walking there and back, and I was tired, but I have exercised a lot and really worked my ass off. I also plan to go to the gym today with my boss for the first time in quite a while.
Outside of exercise I switched up my diet too. I managed to shave another hundred or so calories off my food and somehow manage to eat a bit healthier. I still eat more than enough to keep on living but I'm down to 1300-1400 calories rather than 1500 or so. If my calorie counters are to be believed I had a surplus of about 1000 calories on Friday. So that would be pretty sweet. I guess we'll have to see how things go tomorrow but I'll be sure to let you know if I managed to do enough to lose weight or not.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Work Complete

I posted on Monday that I had gotten a freelance job to just do a small amount of work, which is what I'm sticking to moving forward. I can't work a writing job and write fiction at the same time so I had to make a tough choice. As proof of that I've not written any fiction this week because I was busy writing articles.
But the good news is that the work has been completed and I'll be paid on Sunday. The sort of bad news is that rather than contribute to my living fund covering my expenses for the next few months, most of the money will probably be going towards a new headset microphone for my computer. The USB connection on the one I already use is kind of messing up. I can continue to hold out on getting a new one but I don't know when I'll be earning money again. It might be best to get the expense out of the way.
Why are accurate things always sad?
Because I take part in not one, but two, podcasts I really need a headset microphone. If that wasn't the case I'd just live with my headphones for a while. I might see if I can get a better quality one to perhaps aid my move in to voice work but to be honest I really need a better recording environment too. It's not as easy as just sitting down and recording yourself. The cupboard under my stairs would probably do, and a lot of amateurs do use the cupboard under their stairs, but mine is in such bad condition cleaning it isn't possible. Only a controlled fire could clean that up. Plus the door is off it's hinges making it a pretty ineffective recording environment.

Thursday, 15 January 2015

I Didn't Get Weighed

I was supposed to get weighed on Tuesday but I woke up so out of it and ill that I actually had to call the doctor and say I was too sick to go in. Yes, that's true. I actually called a doctor and said "Hey, I'm actually too ill to come in." My brother was using the car and I didn't have the power to get up and walk, so that was that.
I've actually been sneezing all week. Bah.
I had the appointment rearranged for next Tuesday and to be honest I'm not particularly looking forward to it. I overindulged like mad over the holidays. I went to two parties and had a lot more food than I intended to. Probably more than any one person should. I went to the gym last week and weighed myself while I was there and saw I put on weight. I don't think I can really undo all that damage in a week but I suppose I can try and mitigate the damage as much as I can at least.
Time for some intense workouts
I guess we'll see the damage next Tuesday. To be honest part of me feels I need to gain weight. I need a shock to the system because I've become so lazy. I need to get back to my weight loss roots and stick to what worked even if it was kind of annoying to keep track of everything I was eating. It also made me accountable and stopped me from trying to trick myself in to believing I'm eating less junk than I am.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Truly Freelance

First of all I would like to say a hearty thank you to all the kind words you had to say last week about my friend's art. I didn't get to talk to her as much as I would have liked last week so unfortunately as of this writing she hasn't seen the feedback but I know she'll appreciate and enjoy it. Now on to the stories of this week which are coming from me. It felt good to take a week off. 
Except I did nothing productive all week.
I got an email a few days ago from one of my old employers. Technically I suppose they are still my employer because that was the one job I never formally left. They sent me an email telling me to not write anything more from them until they sent me an email saying it was okay to. Then I never heard from them again until a few days ago when they approached me with a different job. As you might recall I was working article writing jobs but had to leave when I became too depressed to continue. 
I was actually referred to as a "Grumpy McGrumperson" 
Anyway, they sent me an email, along with CCing their other two writers, saying they had a job to write 60 articles in two weeks and that they wanted all three of us to do 20 each. 20 articles of 400 words for $3 each. I figured why the hell not and took the job. I also said that I could probably do more if need be and in my head imagined doing all sixty articles. Writing 30 articles a week is what my old job was and that would have been $180 which would have been pretty nice. 

Five articles into this job and I'm already aware of the fact I could never write 60 and I'm remembering why I left. But I'm going to stick this through and make a bit of money. It feels good to be totally freelance and to have the freedom to say I don't want to do a job. I don't mind doing jobs and this guy pays more than the last one, but it seems that on a mental level I wouldn't be able to handle continuous employment. I don't know why. Oh well. 

Friday, 9 January 2015

Friendship Week; Part 3

If you still aren't sure what's happening this week I'm dedicating my blog space to a friend of mine who needs a bit of a pick me up as far as her art and writing goes. On Monday I posted a story she wrote, and on Thursday I posted a comic she drew. Today is a piece of non-fiction she wrote in response to people being bullied into committing suicide even though it starts out as a response to people being asshats to people who enjoy things they don't. Sounds fun.
I’ve come to understand that there is a lot of hate going out towards the Supernatural and Sherlock fandoms.
So this is a message to the haters AND victims
Haters/h8ers/bullies/”internet cleansers” (yes I have heard them refer to themselves as this)-
OK, so I have a basic knowledge of psychology, and I just want to figure out why exactly why you’re  doing the things you are doing. From what I know, people tend to harass, bully, or generally be an ass to people they either are
2. Pessimistic, narcissistic, egotistical megalomaniacs,
3.Or they are just attention seeking, and don’t know how to get positive attention.
So here are my thoughts, you are either:
1A.  Jealous of the sense of community, safety, love, and acceptance that is felt among the members of the Supernatural and Sherlock fandoms
1B. Jealous of the friendships that are built through the fandoms
2A. You refuse to acknowledge anyone’s interests that do not coincide with your own, and if they don’t, you feel that they are inferior, and therefore they shouldn’t be permitted to express their thoughts and opinions.
2B. You are so wrapped up in your own thoughts, beliefs, and interests you refuse to see anyone else’s opinions or try anything new or different from what you already have in your comfort zone
3A. You don’t have interests that many other share, so you aren’t in  a fandom or group, so you feel as if you must try to disassemble and break apart the people in some of the biggest fandoms you know of.
3B. You personally just don’t like the show, and  you can’t just not watch it, or scroll past fan-work when it appears on your dash, you have to try to destroy the group of people who enjoy it while doing the WORST POSSIBLE thing you can do, and that is kicking someone when they are already down, and feeling bad.
3C. Scientifically speaking, one of the main causes of bullying is the bully having a lack of attention in their younger lives, either from their guardians, parents, teachers, or other children. So I can only infer that this is what happened to some of these haters, and they have come to realize that through hating on others online, they can gain large amounts of attention (they don’t care if it’s negative) and even find those who are desperate enough to follow them down this hateful path.
4. Some people find enjoyment in this, and this is actually a sign of sadism, also a symptom different mental diseases.
To all the victims out there:
1. If you can, turn off anon comments, block any registered users, or, don’t read there negative comments
2. If someone is harassing you, find someone who you can talk to, and if there is no one nearby you can talk to, there is always the suicide hotline:  1-800-273-TALK (8255) 
3. While looking for resources to put in this post, I found this website: even if you don’t feel like you need to read this, please do.
4.  Remember, some of these people may have gone through some of the things you have, not exactly the same, but they suffered, but then chose to inflict their pain upon others, if you haven’t, congratulations! and if you have, try to stop, do something else, instead of insulting someones’ shirt, tell them you think their shoes are nice. improve.change.inspire.
5.For all of those out there who cut, I found several sources for things to do other than self harm. 
Not all of these will work for everyone, but please,try some, don’t hurt yourselves.
And for all people who are in a fandom, have sexual preferences, skin, no matter what color, a body,a mental issue, or a religion or lack of one:
All fandoms are ok:
All religions are ok (including not having one):
If you have a mental issue, you are OK:
All body types are OK, whether you are a man or woman:
(i honestly had a really hard time finding something for males, and it is pretty disappointing)
All skin colors are OK:
All gender/sexuality identities are OK:
No matter what you are, what you look like, what you watch,read, believe, or who they worship, we are all people, we all can get sick, we can be injured, we all need to eat, sleep, and drink. 
No matter what you look like, or what your opinions are:
You shouldn’t care if someone is a gender-fluid atheist furry, if they act like a rude ass, that’s what you should base your opinion of them on, and that’s ALL!!!!
Most internet communities.

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Friendship Week: Part Two

In case you don't remember or missed Monday's post, I'm dedicating this week to posting the work of a friend who feels her art and writing isn't as good as it is. To that end I'm posting three of the things she's made. The first post on Monday was a story she wrote, and this time it's going to be a comic she drew and scanned called Stanley The Tree.
This could have been scanned better but oh well. 
Yes much like me she can't write a story without killing something.

Monday, 5 January 2015

Friendship Week: Part 1

Don't let that title put you off. A friend of mine is having some negative feelings about her artwork and writing skills and I thought that I'd do something nice for her and post her work here so hopefully you guys will have something nice to say about it so I can be all "Hey these people really like your work too." I have her permission to do this so don't worry about that either. Because this is the day our resident indy writers tend to stop buy I thought this would be the ideal time to post the first part of the first chapter of a story she wrote. Not a lot of it is typed up because she hates typing (and I wrote this while she dictated) but she has written over a notebooks worth of it so far. Anyway, this is long so I'll shut up now.
BRIIIINGGG! Jess got up and slung her backpack over her shoulder, and made her way towards her next class.”Damn it!” she cursed, as her backpack bounced against her already-sore wings.Yes, wings, you read it right. You see, Jess isn’t your ordinary teenager. Actually, neither were any of her classmates or teachers. Jess is what you would call a Hybrid. To her, regularly seeing people with tails, wings, feathers, and fur was an everyday occurrence. She had never seen live human before, according to her science textbook, humans had gone extinct about one thousand years ago. She had seen photos and videos of them, and had realized that they acted a lot like her friends and herself. “Makes sense,” she had thought when she saw the exhibit at the museum.  “After all, we are human-animal Hybrids.” For some reason, the Hybrids were the only humanoid creatures to survive what was known as “The End”. No one discovered who created the first of us, or what happened to the humans, When the first of us worked their way out of the underground base they had been in, all they saw was, well, actually, almost everything. Well, everything except humans. It seemed like they had just disappeared; things were left half done. Sentences left half written on papers, showers and faucets running, and meals half-eaten.

The original Hybrids had been kept in an underground facility, run by the humans. Every day they were fed, and lead to a room for a series of tests and lessons. They were the first and last of the Hybrids to see humans in the flesh. After they gave up hope of ever finding the humans, or their creators, they picked up civilization where it had been left off. Thanks to their human half, most of the human inventions worked just as well for the Hybrids as they did for the humans. Unlike the humans, they had little need for cars; Most of the Hybrids could either fly, or run quickly for long distances, so cars had become almost unnecessary. Only the disabled, elderly, and ones who were more human than animal still used cars. There was one problem though, and that was clothes. Slowly but surely, they taught themselves to sew, and were able to alter the first needed clothes. Once the factories were figured out then clothes with alterations allowing for hooves, paws, wings, tails, horns, and other features not normally found on humans, came pouring out, supplying all with the clothes they needed. Teachers were found, schools opened,and civilization continued. With that, the reign of the humans ended, and the reign of the Hybrids began.

Back to our friend Jess, and her exciting and interesting day at school.

“Hey!”said Jess.

“Hey, what’s up?” replied her friend Natalie. They were on their way to their next class, gym. “Well, my wings are sore, I’m so NOT looking forward to gym. After the beating they took the other day in that crash, I’m surprised they still work.” She replied, wincing at the memory of her spectacular crash landing after trying to pull off a reverse spinning loop-dee-loop.

 “Yeah, that was pretty bad, I heard the crash all the way from the track. My legs are pretty sore from jumping all those hurdles. Don’t know why I didn’t choose yoga…” said Natalie.

“Well, I can think of three reasons right now. One, you aren’t flexible, two, you are an amazing runner, and three, you’re half horse! You were born to run and jump!” replied Jess, with a hint of a mocking tone.

“Yeah, I always forget about that last part…” Natalie said, sighing.

“What, do you think you’re a human or something?” teased Jess.

“Aww, come on! Don’t tell me you haven’t once thought about what it would be like to be a human? To not have wings, hooves, or horns?” Asked Natalie.

“You mean to think about being weaker? Slower? Or unable to fly? There’s a reason the humans went extinct, they were soft fleshy creatures, with no way to defend themselves! They had no scales or horns to protect them, no talons or fangs to defend themselves, and no fur or feathers to keep warm! My pet cat has a better chance of surviving in the wilderness than the humans did!” exclaimed Jess, not believing for a second that it could ever be better to be a human rather than a hybrid.

“Oh, I guess I didn’t think about it like that.” replied Natalie, looking crestfallen. After just a second she perked back up, “What about all their amazing inventions? Everything we have the humans made! Even if we created it, it wouldn’t have been possible without their past innovations! Without the humans, we wouldn’t even exist!"

And that is actually all that is typed up so far. I need to get her to get back on to that. Then again given how often I fall off the writing wagon I'm not really one to tell others to get back on that particular horse.

P,S yes there is going to be a character based on me in this story. I think I'm a crow hybrid or something.

Friday, 2 January 2015

"So Why Can't You Write As Much?"

So in the last post I said that realistically I can't write as insanely as I used to and that I would make a whole post about it. Remember two years ago I was writing 6k words a week and wrote that 180k word story in about six months?
Proof that story exists. People still favourite it and it's sequels today. 
That was a damn good time in my life. For more reasons than the obvious one; that I was writing so much. There's a secret to why I was writing so much. People loved what I was writing. I had people on every update telling me how much they loved the story and asking me to keep writing it. I only wrote that story because people loved the original so much and they kept asking me for a sequel. That story there went on to spawn two more sequels. The people loved my writing and I loved giving it to them.
With Immortal Space that's not the case. I could post it here and I could get some feedback but then what's the point in buying it? I said before that writing is a lonely existence and it is. I've lost my support network and I have no one cheering me on. I have very few people asking me to write and wanting me to. That means that I can only write when I feel like it. Thanks to my on again/off again depression I don't write much. I have nothing really compelling me to. That's the difference between the me of now and the me of two years ago; support. 

That's why I don't write as much as I used to and why I don't know if I ever really will. 

I still plan to finish writing Immortal Space though and release a second book too. If I want to do this then I have to write that much. It'll be much easier when I'm famous and have a lot of people telling me they love me all the time. I mean, there'll be more people telling me I suck but fuck those guys. I ignored them when I wrote that story (see it got some dislikes) and I can do it again.
I'm horsefamous yo. One day this account is going to come back to haunt me. 

Thursday, 1 January 2015

A Year In Review

Well it's a new year now. It seems like the right time to take a look back and see how the year went. I have a terrible memory so this should be fun. I might have to make this two posts even because I don't like things being too long.
There is a penis joke in there somewhere. 
My 2014 actually started out on an incredible high. At almost midnight exactly on the 1st of January 2014 I signed a publishing contract for my story The Beast. I think we all remember how that went. I can't really go into detail. Suffice to say the book is released under a different name and I've never seen a cent for it.

I also started losing a lot of weight which is definitely a plus for the year. Over the year my progress slowed but I can still look back and say "Hey, I lost 50 pounds this year." and I hope to match that this year. If not better it. I'd prefer to better it but we'll see how we do. I get weighed in a few weeks and I expect my first gain because I seriously over indugled over Christmas. That's another good thing to take away from 2014; no matter how badly I ate I never put on weight.
There was that time I didn't lose any either but it counts as not a gain
I'm trying to stay positive but when I look back I just see a bunch of never was's and shoulda beens. I gained and lost three separate writing jobs. I was good at them but they were so soul crushing I had to quit. At least I left on good terms so I can go back to them if I need to.

I did do a lot more writing earlier in the year though and published another series of short stories. I'm still writing Immortal Space for those wondering. I'm writing a proper plan out and one of my goals for 2015 (I'm not really one for resolutions) is to release not one, but two books. I proved to myself two years ago that I can write a lot if I want to. I can write a whole other post about why I can't really do that now though. In fact I probably should. Realistically I should end this post now. You're all hungover.

Happy new year everyone. May it be a good one. 

And never forget...


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