Thursday, 4 December 2014

There Are No Breaks On The King Jong Krazy Train

Reputed dictator and glorious leader of North Korea (I don't want him launching a nuke at me so I'm playing nice) has come up with a brand new ruling of krazy (I'm hoping he can't spell properly) and decided that no more should any man, woman or child born in North Korea share his name. This comes not long after he decided that a great deal of men should have his hair cut. So he's clearly sending mixed messages to his adoring public here.
Who wouldn't want that glorious hair?
Now I'm sure he has his reasons for this latest bout of insanity. I mean, brilliance. It's genius. Apparently his dad and grandfather issued similar orders in their times. I just hope that somewhere out there exists a Kim Jung Deux and a Kim Jung Trois. But this does pose an interesting question;

What would you do if you were a dictator?

"Obama Dictator" was a suggested search I had to check out. People be cray cray.
I have to admit I would probably do the naming thing. My name is stupidly common and I hate the idea of other people also being called Mark. So from this day forth I shall be the only person called Mark. Sorry Fang. You are now Fang. It's more badass anyway I'm doing you a favour. Outside of that I would just stay in my mansion for a while and live off of doing no real work. Being a dictator sounds like an easy and cushy job. My actual economic plans would take a while to go in to but essentially I'm all for public services.

You're given complete control of a country. What do you do? 


  1. Glad to hear the Gospels are now Matthew, Fang, Luke and John. About time!

  2. These dictators go on these power mania things. It's awful.

  3. No fuck you I love my name. It's great for shitty jokes to fill dead air with.

    Seriously though, let's please not make light of KJ's tyranny without also reflecting on how genuinely bad it is. Not exactly him as a person, but rather the amount of oppression and inhumane actions that are taking place in South Korea. And nothing's being done about it, nobody's lifting a finger.


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