Monday, 14 July 2014

Writing Is A Lonely Existence

I was talking to a friend of mine and it turns out that we have a mutual problem. Well, she had a problem awhile ago that I'm having now. It's a pretty simple problem too. See, one of the main reasons that I never got anything done in terms of writing, or any of my other exploits, was that I was under a lot of stress. Now that I have ridden myself of the stress, and am free to do what I want, there's only one thing I'm doing; nothing.
Accurate Spongebob is sadly accurate.
I mean, I still do my weekly wrestling reviews and podcasts but that's about it for creative outlets. My friend went through the same problem herself. She gained all the time and freedom in the world, and did nothing with it. Given this data I've come to conclude that it is an actual problem a lot of people have. If two people suffered from it, everyone does.
My face when I do science
One thing that's stopped me from doing creative things is, as the title suggests, writing is a lonely existence. The only reason I was able to write 6000 words a week in that fanfiction was because I knew people were enjoying it. I did it for them, and for the adoration. They made me feel pretty good, and the story was excellent. It's the reason I was able to post not one, but two, Immortal Space chapters a week before I finally stopped posting them publicly. It's difficult to write purely for yourself, or on the assumed knowledge that someone will enjoy what you write. The poor sales of my book are not helping either. Even though I should view each book as different. Even the best writers have bad days, and some of the people I consider to be the best writers might not even be all that well known. They get by knowing that just one or two people loved their stories. I know that at least one or two people loved my stories. I know that you guys have enjoyed them. It's just hard to keep myself going sometimes based on an assumption. Especially when I'm as melancholic as I am. I expect only the bad and have a pretty bleak outlook.

To be honest I'm considering getting myself put on anti-depressants. It's probably been too long as it is. I'll keep on writing, but I'm just not sure when. Right now my mind is a sadly dark place. I hear no praise or criticism for my work, and can't share it with the world until it's done. I have all these wonderful ideas, and the energy to do them, but not the drive. In a way it's kind of worse knowing I have the energy and not really being all that tired. Before I could tell myself I was just tired, and now I have to accept that actually I'm just pretty depressed, and it won't go away on it's own. Wheeee.

How do you keep yourself motivated? Especially with something you won't receive any praise/criticism on until it's done?

P.S I did get some remotely hopeful news. Look out for that on Thursday when I'll hopefully know more and it will become either straight up good, or straight up bad, news.

10 comments:

  1. Oh man, the "no time do things – all time do nothing" situation. I know exactly what you're talking about. I can barely eliminate my zero days, let alone get more than half an hour of work done on anything. ):
    Maybe it's an idea to share what you're working on with a close circle of people, for feedback and such?

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  2. I would recommend excersizing regularly before going on anti-depressants. There have been tons of people who have gotten themselves out of a funk by going for a jog every second day. Let's call the anti-depressants Plan-B.

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  3. I can so relate to this.
    Exams going on and every beautiful though will pop up in my mind.
    Summer Vacations start and I am sitting idle with a vacant brain.

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  4. What Michael said. If I find myself in a funk, I just do a little exercise, especially before writing. I know you've posted about exercise before, so give it a shot before you write next time. It might help. It definitely helps me get into a better writing mood.

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  5. there is a thrill you get when people are enjoying it...and some validation as well....i think that diet and exercise can play into your mood...getting sun too...i get inspiration from life...so i like to get out amongst the people...

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  6. You've got to come up with some kind of a strategy to promote yourself, and you are smart, so if you are dedicated enough, you will come up with something that works. If what you are doing now is not working well enough in your estimation, try something different. Find whatever strategy works the best for you, and do 100 times more of that. Now, how to keep yourself from getting discouraged before you achieve the success you want? To be honest, you are very young, and time is on your side. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and have fun with it. Make a pact with yourself... say something like, 'I am going to relax and just enjoy what I'm doing for the next year. If I don't make any progress I will re-evaluate." Anyway, going through these tough times is part of your own story and something you could write about in one of your future works.

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  7. Since I am not a writing I will have to take your word for it

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  8. True. Writing IS a lonely experience. But, that's just as well because I quite often do it while not wearing pants.

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  9. I usually find myself in the mood to write at inconvenient times (i.e. before bed, at work, just before work). However, I've been able to get my creative juices flowing by joining a website (Storyline.io) where writers collaborate on short stories. It's good practice (I'm not trying to shamelessly promote the site, just an idea).

    As for the book sales, you should find a way to showcase all your writings. Maybe find a forum for writers that has a section for self-promotion? Sorry, I've never finished a piece worthy enough for Amazon, so I'm probably not the most skilled marketer.

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  10. I have read that there is a correlation between "free time" and depressive symptoms. Busy people are happy people, as the saying goes. But I love my free time. I guess the key is balance...

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