Thursday, 24 July 2014

Living The Old Life

Thanks to circumstances beyond my control right now I'm pretty alone. My closest friend has gone away for two weeks on a camping trip and will be back at the end of the week. Technically they'll be back before the weekend but they're going away again for the weekend, so it's two separate trips. Anyway, yeah, pretty lonely.
Yet I didn't read any books. Bah.
I kept to my diet and went walking still, so I wasn't completely lost in depression. I did however completely stop being productive. For the past week and a half I've been playing video games almost non stop. Outside of the exercise and sleeping of course. I've had trouble sleeping mind. Completing four games in two weeks isn't bad at all, as far as gaming goes, but it sucks for me right now. I need to be thinking. I need to be writing. I need to be creating. But I'm not.
Pretty much
This is actually quite a look at how I used to live my life. This was every day for me a few years ago. Well, a few years more ago now. I would play games all day long because I didn't want to deal with reality. I didn't want to accept that I was throwing my life away and how miserably alone I was. While I suppose it has been kind of nice to have some fun again, I do, as I said, kind of regret the past week and a half. I should have done so much more, but didn't. One thing this experience has taught me is that I'm definitely a better person now, and I'm in no hurry to have my old life back. I'm quite interested in pursuit of the different things I have going on now, and hoping one of them works out, than going back to how I was.

How much have you changed in the past few years? The past year even. We end up being vastly different from who we were even half a year ago. Lives can change so quickly. How has yours?


  1. Hey, I'm usually up for some chit-chat if you want to? Just hit me up on Skype, even though I almost always appear offline. I'll be there.

    I've changed a whole damn lot. In terms of what I do from day to day, I am focussing a lot more on being productive and not just fucking around all day. Sure, this doesn't always produce results, but the mindset is there.. sort of.

  2. Kudos to you for being a better person now and vowing to not go back to your old life. I think that's such a great part of growth. I am completely different that I used to be.It wasn't an overnight process, it took about three years, but it changed my life.

  3. It's easy to slip into old patterns when depression hurts. We use those coping mechanisms even though they are not effective. I do the same thing.

    In the past year I've become more detached and less emotionally invested in what goes on in the world. I find I'm much less frustrated over things I can't change (politics, the environment, crime etc).

  4. I'm going on my annual camping trip next week.
    The hangover effects will probably last a couple weeks after that.
    Oh, how I love the great outdoors!

  5. My life remained static for a very long time despite my best efforts to try to change things. I think things are improving slightly now. Hopefully, the sour odor of defeat which is leaking from my pours doesn't permanently keep me trapped in the doldrums of failure.

  6. I feel as if I need to be more social, but I'm much more comfortable being on my computer all day.

  7. Have I changed at all over the years, I am not sure but I don't think I am the one who can answer that those who know me would have a better idea if I have changed much if at all. I do think I am more happy with who I am more of the time


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