Monday, 24 February 2014

Kids Believe The Darndest Things

You've heard of "Kids say the darndest things" and now it's time for, as the title suggests, "Kids believe the darndest things." See, kids will believe almost anything you tell them. It might not be nice to take advantage of this, but it sure is fun!

For reasons quite unkown to me one of my nieces asked me if all emos wear gloves all the time. Shortly before this she asked me if I was ever an emo. I had a bit of a goth phase and did the whole "make up and long fingerless gloves" things when I was younger. I wasn't an emo though. God forbid. I really don't even know why the topic of emos came up. I think she wants to be an emo. Her hair was dyed blonde, then black, so if anything she's more like a scene kid.

So anyway, back to the story. At first I wasn't really exactly sure what to tell her and then I came up with the proper way to answer that question. I decided to explain why emos wore gloves a lot as well as just say yes or no. I told her that the reason emos wear gloves is because their cold and icy hearts make them cold too. They wear gloves because they're so naturally cold they need the extra warmth. I don't know if she really believed me all that much but she acted like she did and it's not the first time I've done something like this. I once convinced her that a friend I was talking to was Jesus.

There are three things to take away from this folks;
1; Kids believe almost anything you say.
2; I'm not bad at thinking on my feet.
3; I really shouldn't be left around impressionable and curious kids.

Once again, I feel sorry for any imaginary (or real) child I may have in the future.


  1. I was an "Elmo" once.
    Although I kinda liked Kermit and Cookie Monster almost as much.

  2. LOL well now she's going to be offering coats to all the emo kids at school.

  3. If it wasn't for kids being so naive, it would suck to raise them. God has a sense of humor because he knows as they get older they are going to put you through hell so you might as well have fun with them before that happens.

  4. This was great, but I laughed out loud at the talking to Jesus one. I just imagine some poor kid asking, "Wow, you're really texting Jesus?" as your phone buzzes.

    Text from Jesus: "ya lol water 2 wine bro so kewl"

  5. Oh man, this is going to be great. Some years in the future there'll be a random survey, and all the kids you ever talked to will come up as being some kind of crazy. They'll wonder what the connection between all those kids is, but they'll never know you've been gently tugging at the strings for years now.
    Mark; poisoning the future, one lie at a time.

  6. I love how gullible and fragile children's minds are. I intentionally tell them nonsensical things so that they never grow up intelligent enough to steal my job... I mean, because it's funny to hear them say the darnedest things.

    I once had really bad poison ivy on my arm, so I had to wear a bandage around it. I told a kid, "I got bit by a shark... Just kidding, I just have a bad cause of poison ivy." He later told his mom that I "got bit by a shark with poison ivy in its mouth."

  7. Yeah I get this little ones do believe some of the strangest things, which is why I get annoyed when people tell children rubbish things

  8. hahaha most def...and even high school kids....half the ones here think i was special forces at one point because one kid started telling it to

  9. Keep me away from kids too. I'll corrupt the whole lot of them before the hour ends.

  10. That was a pretty good answer, Mark. I also believe your answer, even though you strongly imply you just made the whole thing up... I believe you anyway. You have an honest face.


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