Thursday, 30 January 2014

The Illuminati Want Me

I was going to do a nice podcast on my brand new desk about the greatness of desk ownership, but I got sick and barely slept, and I don't have my new desk yet. Expect that some time. For now let me regale you with a tale of something that happened to me just last week.

I had a lot of comments awaiting moderation because I have it set that comments made on posts older than a few days need to be moderated. I also never actually moderated said comments, so there was a stockpile of about fifty comments. There was also some spam that I had to sort through, a fair chunk of which wasn't actually spam. That's when I noticed this;

It's pretty hard to make out but if I made it any bigger it would end up being a lot more difficult. That's three comments in a row telling me to join the Illuminati online. Three. So as you can see, the Illuminati really want me, and I want traffic so I'm going to say the word Illuminati as much as I can. That way, anyone who searches Illuminati will find themselves here, on this post about the Illuminati.

To be honest I don't actually know much about the Illuminati. The only thing I really know for sure is that they supposedly control the world from the shadows. This actually makes them my enemies as I'm supposed to be the ruler of the world. I'm going to control it quite openly though, and not from the shadows at all.

Unlike those pussies.


  1. So, the fact that The Illuminati was trying to put these comments on your blog makes me wonder... was this offer just for you, or to anyone reading the comments section? However, being that they ARE The Illuminati, they probably knew that you moderated comments on older posts, and the offer WAS indeed just for you. Though now ow that you have made this public, you are probably on their enemies list : ( Whatever, I would also like to help you get traffic soooo... Illuminati... Illuminati.......Illuminati..........

    Illuminati...... Illuminati......


  2. Oh boy oh man, better rev up those conspiracy theories. They're not spambots, they're disinfo agents, disguised as spambots, so as to make you think what they say is false.

  3. Ha, I love how it says "order online," too.

    "Uh, yes, I would like one Illuminati please."

    So you joined them, right? You'd get your books in every household overnight if you did.

  4. It seems that their quest for secret, global domination somehow involves flooding your Blog with spam messages. We need to learn more about the illuminati and their nefarious deeds. You may be instrumental in saving us all from a dystopian, Orwellian future.

  5. That's quite the offer though. $1m and a free house anywhere? Send 'em my way.

  6. ha. the you will get to hang out with jayz....smiles....
    you might find out where hoffa is buried as well...i would jump on the offer

  7. wtf why don't I ever get illuminati spam


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