There seems to have been a little confusion about yesterday's post so I'll just clarify some things first. A4E, the people who sent me for the job interview, also sent the other three applicants. While it's true that an employer is not legally obligated to inform an unsuccessful applicant, and a lot of employers don't bother with it, these other three applicants and myself are legally obligated to tell A4E whether or not we got the job unless they tell us first. The successful applicant would tell A4E they got the job and then A4E would tell me I didn't.
Telling me I didn't get the job is exactly what they did this morning. While my interview technique was flawless and there was no negative feedback whatsoever the other person had more retail experience than me. I have four years retail experience and have done every job at where I work including admin work. Four years and it's still not enough? I know I have nothing to be ashamed about but I'm still disappointed. That job would have been great for me, if not perfect.
I want to look towards the future and move on but I'm finding it very hard to not get trapped in a spiral of despair. Still, I have my bike now, once I have a back wheel put on it. I'll be able to start exercising and feeling better about myself again. I think I might quit the gym to be honest. I haven't gone in over a month and I can't really afford it. I have absolutely no motivation to go in there and I'm saving 80-90% of my money right now. Another reason I wanted a job. This job. Everything about this job was just so right for me.
Like I said I know I have nothing to be ashamed of and I know I have more things to come for me. Right now I should go back to focusing on me and my body. I can't allow myself to wallow in pity. I need to get this bike sorted, I need to get out there and I need to keep on truckin', as the expression goes. It's just pretty hard to right now.