Monday, 10 June 2013

I've Come A Long Way

I was recently struck by the realisation of how much I seem to have changed lately. There are some things I can't totally go into but I really do seem to have come a long way lately. It was around this time last year I was having emotional breakdowns at work and now I can, and do, go volunteer on a semi regular basis. If it wasn't for the fact I was doing other cool stuff with my life I'd probably go more. I doubt it though, but I do know that mentally I could handle it quite well. I'm not as quiet there anymore and do chat with my boss and some of the other people in work. Now it's not so much about not being able to deal with them, it's more about not wanting to deal with them. That may sound bad, but I don't really intend it to be. I don't find what they talk about interesting is all but when there's a place for me in a conversation I will happily place myself in it.

Okay, that sounds kinda worse. I'm going to stop that before I drag myself into a hole I can't dig my way out of.

But other than that I've also changed in other ways. This time last year, hay even a few months ago, I would never imagine that I would be going to the gym on a regular basis. Not only that, but I go on my own. I even relish going on my own sometimes because it means I can have a shower there and save time by not needing to have a bath at home. Me, showering, in a gym. Although that's actually because they have shower stalls. If it was a communal shower then nah, I wouldn't ever dare use it. Luckily it's not like prison or those movies on the internet.

You know the ones I mean. Well if I'm still making dirty jokes I've not changed entirely, but it's impossible to say I'm still the same person I was even a few months ago. I don't really feel it or see it but everyone I know has commented on my weight loss and my boss, the guy who got me in the gym in the first place, has complimented my willpower and resolve. I actually go to the gym more than he does now and the reason I went is so he wouldn't have to go on his own. I think I'm going to have to start going later to accomodate him.

Now that my niece is almost done with school though it means I can. I only had to go early so I could be done in time to pick her up from school.

14 comments:

  1. I think that the best thing out of all of this is that despite these changes you haven't changed as a person at the core, you're still the Mark that we all love and adore! The growth in confidence and your time at gym can only help you, it seems like you're moving in a positive direction and I'm proud of you, you're a completely different guy than you were at the burning embers of 2012 and I'm pleased to say that.

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  2. I see a different more confident Mark than the Mark of last year and it makes me smile.

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  3. And what wonderful positive changes that you have been undergoing.
    Moving forward is great and I love watching your confidence grow.
    This is a wonderful post

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  4. These definitely all seem like positive changes. Like the others have said, I'm glad to see you have more confidence in yourself and your writing. You deserve it!

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  5. It's a good feeling when we can see the growth in ourselves isn't it? It really gives our soul a sense of accomplishment :-)

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  6. Always nice to turn around, and see the path you've traveled so far, especially when it's been a long, complicated one, traversed in relatively little time.
    Also something good to note, you're still Mark, even after all this time, all that change. Good job, keep it going!

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  7. I remember back in Catholic school. We had gym every day and it was mandatory to take a shower in one of those communal type shower things. God, it was horrifying. What's with the boring nature of conversations at work anyway? At my job, people either talk about themselves, or sports, and absolutely nothing else. If something the magnitude of 9-11 happens, perhaps someone will briefly mention it. You probably wanna talk about ponies, and I wanna talk about Giorgio Tsoukalos and jimmy rustling.

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  8. Communal showers???? Yeesh, no thank you. I don't even like being naked around me, let alone other dudes.

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  9. ah its cool to be able to look back and see how much you have changed...and you have made some positive life choices like working out....def has to make you feel good about life...

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  10. That's great news Mark, well done! It's a nice feeling when you can see good changes in yourself like that and it boosts your confident. Glad to read that you're feeling good :) - Tasha xxx

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  11. I hope this doesn't sound to geeky, but, I'm doing a Happy Dance for you, Mark. I am genuinely excited for you. Excited and proud of how far you've come in the last year. Good for you!!

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  12. That's awesome! Congrats on the resolve to stay on track even when things get rough. I'm so happy for you.

    I hope the change only gets better for you.

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  13. You know. Everybody changes. As example: My girlfriend has changed a bit and got more serious... these things happen :/

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  14. Change can be good you do sound more confident I wonder at times if I have changed over the years.......

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