Sunday, 2 June 2013

I've Been Googled

This post fell victim to another scheduling error. Although the error here was that I totally forgot to schedule it. I seem to be losing my mind. Ah well, never had much of a grip on the old girl anyway.

I was talking to a friend I made recently and she told me that she actually typed my name into Google. I've got no idea what came up because I don't want to see what actually comes up but she's still talking to me so it can't be too bad. I'm now going to begin signing up for everything using a fake name.

I do wonder what comes up though. Still not enough to do it but if I had to guess what might come up, I guess maybe this place, my Twitter account, my Facebook. and maybe even my book or my author page on Amazon. If you're wondering why she looked me up on Google in the first place, it's because of her mum. Like most (read; all) of my friends she's foreign and is from America. Her mum has read all the horror stories about what happens with people you meet online and actually demanded seven online accounts to give me a full background check. I offered the girl eight to ten but she just Googled me. Thankfully I already sign up to some things with fake names but now I'm going to go super paranoid and sign up to absolutely everything with a fake name.

Maybe even a different fake name every time too. Although I guess if my book did come up her mum could be all "Guess he's gotta be cool if he has a book out."

I'm actually pretty harmless and for the most part mothers don't mind me much once they get to know me. Although there was one fun time when a girl was banned from talking to me entirely by her parents. That kinda stuff really makes you feel good about yourself.

What you just read is a masterclass in how to get something from nothing when it comes to writing blog posts. Feel free to Google me and report the results. Never ever Google yourself though. It's something I can not reccomend at all. Actually I did it once a few years ago and it turns out there is a cartoonist who shares my name. I hope she doesn't think that's actually me. I can't draw at all.


  1. The downfall here is the phrase "once they get to know me." Meaning your initial impression is terrifying.
    But hey, this is from someone who shares a name with a porn star who specializes in extreme anal insertion. Not kidding, also, that's not me with a bowling pin in my rectum.

  2. That's pretty interesting that your friend's mum made sure you were Googled first, you're pretty dang harmless Mark so that's weird but yeah it's crazy the information that Google actually has on us, insane.

  3. That's weird, when I google myself I just find a football star from the 70's!

  4. ha. its funny...i never used a fake name...never thought about it til later...after a few stalkers...that was really creepy...esp when they figure out your address...oh well a couple calls and a few cops later...i still use my real name...kinda scary...

  5. If you Google my name you get hundreds of people who aren't me.

    That's what you get for having an Asian last name.

  6. I Googled you. Are you a 39 year old actor from Peterborough? If so, can I get your autograph?

  7. LOL I always use a fake name, or fakeish because I'm paranoid as hell. I think I'm going to Google just to see what will pop up :)

  8. How did a girl get banned from talking to you?? I think that's why I don't bother to try to reach out to too many people online. Everyone is accusing everyone else of being weirdos or serial killers, or whatever. People are very paranoid on the internets, which is not really very normal either ironically.

  9. I have googled myself and found so many more interesting people with my dare they have my name and be more interesting then me...........when I googled hubby he turned out to be a black

  10. google has it all, from the true ones into nonsense.


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