I found myself facing quite a stark realisation a few days ago. As you know I used to update Immortal Space a lot and for a while I was actually able to run two updates a week. Lately though I've been having trouble keeping up with one update a week. To be honest my passion for the story has kind of faded. I have a lot of things planned out for the story so I know (for the most part) what's going to happen. I also happen to know that I seem to be having a lot of trouble committing that to document, as I don't write on paper.
The thing is though, I am most definitely not suffering from a writing burnout. Far from it, I'm actually seriously putting out a lot of writing. In the past week alone I've written over 19000 words of fiction. The problem? And this is where it gets frankly disturbing and hard to admit, but that's fanfiction. Stories I enjoy writing and I'm having a lot of fun with. I even wrote two few thousand word one shot stories. One of them is a birthday present for a friend and it came in at 3600 words. I haven't written several thousand words in a day since I went nuts last year and wrote a short story a day. I had fun with those stories too. Plus being insane helped.
I'm not saying I'm going to quit writing IS, I've invested a lot of time in to it and there are people who enjoy it and I want to bring them the story, but right now I personally am not enjoying it too much. I don't even know why really. I do know though that if I could take that insane dedication to writing, that 19000 words a week, I'd have a novella in a fortnight and a novel in a month. If I found a story I enjoyed, then I can sit down and enjoy it.
My fiction is very well received. I actually looked at reviews for my book on Amazon and there was one, from a complete stranger, who said I displayed hints of "writing genius". I'm going to be egotistical for just a second. Just a brief second, so enjoy it. I am a good writer. People enjoy my stories.
I just need to enjoy them too. Right now I'm not enjoying the stories I'm supposed to, and I almost feel kind of bad for enjoying these little side projects that some may disregard as being silly. I shouldn't feel that way either. I should feel comfortable writing what I enjoy writing. I'm not even sure what the point of all this is really. I think I need to go insane again and dedicate a week to writing a book. Jessica says I should consider writing a novella. I have an idea for one actually I just need to flesh out the details and see if it will work. I'm just going to have to stop before I keep babbling inanely.
In case you've not picked up on the stark realisation it's that I'm not enjoying Immortal Space, and the reason I know this is because I wrote 19000 words that were NOT Immortal Space. That says a lot.
LASTLY; I got an email from the guy I did the first voice audition for. I didn't get the part but the guy said he liked my voice and would contact me if something else came up. I'd be sad I didn't get the part, and I am, but I'm still proud of myself for submitting an audition in the first place.