Friday, 12 April 2013

"You Look Different...Happier."

That was said to me by someone at work yesterday. She's a woman who works there usually when I don't so we rarely run in to eachother. As you know, when you're trying to change you don't really notice it because it's you. If you want a good gauge of how much you've changed then you need to talk to someone who hasn't seen you in a while. To be honest though I don't really feel much different. I actually spent a fair portion of yesterday depressed. It's amazing how much one little comment can really ruin your day.

Don't worry though it's nothing any of you guys said. I'm thankful for the feedback and as you know I want everything to be perfect. I can't really get very enthusiastic though. I'm not good at feigning enthusiasm and happiness. I don't really know how much I have to be happy about lately. To be honest I have not written a damn word this week. I have all this stuff on my shoulders even if I'm not dedicating every waking moment to it consciously. So instead of there not being a double IS update this week there's potentially going to be no update at all. I'm going to try though.

Luna knows I always try.

When you aren't up to doing something though then it's going to come across badly. Last week's IS update was a bit of a letdown to some. The best time for me to write is those times when I'm happy and excitable and I've not really been feeling it lately. There's always those niggling thoughts about everything in the back of my head and it rarely seems like things are going my way, or going to go my way. I always have to do more and more and more and more and more and I just want to say I've done enough. I want what I've done to be enough. But it never is.

I'm not even sure what point I'm trying to get at. I'm just apparently happier on the outside. Even my boss agrees and he knows me as an anti-social walking depression. I smile more, and I'm trying to be more social, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not.

Okay, definitely shutting up this time.

9 comments:

  1. What a lovely thing to say. Even if you aren't feeling it at that moment, to have someone notice that you are looking happier is a good thing.
    And I have been noticing more positive posts when I pop it too
    (I had a little trouble trying to watch your video but it was so very cool to see as well as hear you )

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's always delightful and lovely when someone says something to uplift us. But there will be those lonely times when we have no choice but to uplift ourselves. Lately, I have been trying to focus every day on improving myself... if you feel good enough about yourself, it doesn't really matter what others say or feel about you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. that is really cool that they notice your mood...and it is true that to really know ask someone who hasnt seen you for a while...you have some good things going on man....dont set yourself up with expectations...but it is cool being happier....

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm glad that you're giving off vibes of being happier mate. I feel like I've been doing that in work too and the moods help bounce off each other helping feel even better. Don't worry about getting a double update up mate, I like the updates but to be frank I feel like you're burning yourself out anyway when it comes to the double updates, I wouldn't complain at one even if you had two, then you could save one up for the week after. Whatever you find easiest though in all honesty man, you're doing great, just know that, it's a fact too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's good to hear, you're improving slowly but surely. Which is better than what I can say for myself. People who haven't seen me in a while describe me as more abrasive and bitter.

    Oops.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I said something along the lines of your first paragraph to my girlfriend today (though, it was about weight).

    Anyway, I've been in a funk when it comes to my blog, but I've been hashing away at my novel recently. It seems I can only focus on one of these things at a time. Novel vs. Blog.

    But looking happier can lead to feeling happier as you'll get a more positive outreach from those surrounding you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had something to say, then I forgot and I still can't remember. Errrr chicken wings.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's one of the nicest things someone can say to you.
    Besides, "Have you lost weight?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. It is nice when someone notices that we are happier

    ReplyDelete

Don't forget to subscribe to comments so you know if I say something back. If you want that is.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...