Saturday, 20 April 2013

Oh Just Finish Me Off

First of all there's no Immortal Space today BUT I do have some writing for you after an explanation as to why there's no IS. I was extremely busy yesterday, and thoroughly depressed for most of the week (to explain why I didn't just do it during the week). On Thursday I found myself writing again but it was the short little flash fiction I wrote about yesterday. That's what I'm going to post here today, a few weeks before it goes up on my other blog. How about that?

As for what I was up to; well I decided to do a reading of a story that a friend wrote and at first I decided to use Audacity to raise the pitch of my voice to differentiate between the characters (I can't really alter my voice much) and it was as I was editing the fourth chapter I realised that I was going to take the sound and turn it in to a video. For that video I would be using pictures of the characters. I could just use pictures of the characters to show who was speaking. At this point I almost began crying and quickly proceeded to undo all my edits, and that was only on the first chapter. I then started work on the video and it took a few hours. I think all in all I spent probably six plus hours recording, editing, re-editing, compiling, and exporting. I am worn out, and so couldn't write anything else. Well anyway, I promised you a flash fiction so here you are.

The barrel of the gun exploded in a flash of light and a deafening bang as the trigger was pressed down. In the few scant microseconds before the impact of the bullet my thoughts were sent back to a much simpler life. Back to before all of this happened.

 I had wanted to make a difference. I had seen how the others were and I told myself I wouldn't turn out like them; that I would be better than they ever were. I guess I should have known this life would get to me soon, as it had gotten to them. They weren't always so bad. Some of them had even been as naive and full of dreams as I had been at the time. Back before the weight of the world came crashing down on their shoulders and they saw the ugly truth of reality. Back before they learned what they had to do to survive, and that they were willing to do it. The gangs and the mentality didn't matter to me, or so I told myself. I would overcome all of that, and not be suckered in and become like them. They were only interested in the money and had forgotten their roots. I would never forget mine and would never sell out. My soul would remain my own no matter what they offered.

 Next came my first day in court. There had been an armed robbery and I had been involved. I was needed in court and so I had sat and recounted my story to the judge. I took to the stand and swore the sacred oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. In the end I stayed true to the oath and said no word of a lie. There was no point in lying about what had happened. So what if there were extenuating circumstances? A crime is a crime and a crime is what happened that day. There was no point in hidiing that. The judge didn't surprise me at all when he gave the guilty verdict.

 Not long after that I found myself here, in this prison. It's not so bad once you get used to it. Sometimes I get in to fights and I get beaten but I don't let these people get to me. Or at least I didn't, right up until things really got heated and the riot started. I couldn't believe the ferocity or the suddenness of it. One second we're all in the yard having some free time and the next there's a fight. I was in that fight. I wasn't the only one however and soon everyone in the yard was fighting. Guards came but it was meaningless. They were no match for that large a swarm of people even with their guns. Some got scared and backed down when the shots were fired but not everyone. Some took it as a sign of aggression, which it was, and it spurred them on. Some people who weren't supposed to have guns found themselves having them.

 People like me.

 I turned to the nearest guy I could see and I pulled the trigger. In that second I knew what it would take to survive, and I knew I could do it if I had to. As the bullet left the gun and went through the guy's head, I knew that I had done it at last. I had become everything I didn't want to be. For the first time since being at the prison, I felt I belonged there.

 Not as a guard though. Not as the guy who busted a gang operation and was responsible for one of their men being sent down. Not as the guy who was sent here by a crooked chief by the boss of said gang. Not as the guy who was subjected to beatings by the guy I ahd imprisoned here, and denied of the weapons necessary to defend myself. Not as the guy who tried to stop a prison riot before it started. Instead I felt like I belonged here as one of the criminals I was charged with guarding.

 As I shot that inmate right there in the prison yard, I felt like I was no better than him.


  1. It's early in the morning and I am bored at work. I read your post but can't remember what I read. My brain isn't functioning properly for a decent comment.

  2. I liked the flash fiction. Somehow I identify more with these characters who are bums and losers (or at least viewed that way by society). The video you are working on sounds pretty interesting too. I hope you keep doing videos even though it's a lot of work.

  3. "Oh Just Finish Me Off."
    Who told you that's the line I use in a massage parlor?

  4. I liked the switcheroo in this one, if that can be a descriptive label that works in describing this short story. And your time revising and deleting works echos my own struggles with creativity.

  5. Sometimes I think just finish me off...........but then I snap out of it and come to me senses and give myself a good shake and move on with


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