This is potentially the most difficult post I've ever had to write. It's a direct follow up from yesterday's post, and one that is basically a last ditch effort to do something, to try and fix something. Also in an attempt to be totally honest, I'm not sure anyone got the point of yesterdays post. I wrote it while on the edge and just before I snapped and wrote this post. It was a cry for help, not me bragging about how much I get done. I get NOTHING done. I don't do anything because there's too much for me to do. That's why I had to take a stand and make the choice outlined in this post. I don't need congratulations, I don't need praise, I need support. I need someone to tell me it's okay to stop. I'm driving myself to insanity. That was the point of the post.
It is with deepest regret that I must inform you I have to change my blogging schedule. I still have a lot of fun with reading (some) blog posts, and getting to know you all. Blogging helped get me where I am today, and I will never totally turn my back on it, but things are not going so easy for me right now with everything I'm trying to take on. I can't write a blog every day, and read blogs every day, and hope to continue on with what I'm trying to do as a profession and as a way of life. It feels odd to commit myself to something because I've avoided committment all my life. I've never been able to commit to something long enough to make something of it. Yet here I stand after running a blog for nearly two years, and writing a book. I've come a long way, and none of it would have been possible without you guys. As you know I read a lot of blogs, and it's quite a hectic schedule for me. I do it so much it may as well be considered a part time job. Not just reading them, but writing them too.
When I stopped blogging for a whole week and dedicated myself just to my writing, I wrote an entire book. Fair enough, it was a short book, made up of eight stories, and it needed serious editing, but it was a book nonetheless.
Therefore this is the last post of mine you will be reading on a Wednesday, as the days I will be taking off from reading and writing blogs, are Wednesdays and Tuesdays. I would take Thursdays off as Wednesday and Thursday are the busiest days for me, but there are things that happen on Thursday I don't want to leave behind. I could never drop Thursdays.
I know what you're thinking, all this emotional and sentimental stuff when I'm dropping two days from my schedule (I'm well aware it sounds like I'm stopping entirely, I'm NOT, as evidenced in the second paragraph) but to me even dropping one day would feel like a major deal, and like I was letting someone down by not keeping up the harsh schedule.
As remarkable as it is to believe, I do hold myself up to very high standards. If my writing output doesn't increase, and I find myself just dicking those two days away, I will leave myself with no choice but to come back. But I want to commit, I want to make something of myself, and to do that, I need to sort out my life, and better manage my time. Which is something I'm not very good at really, and a skill I guess I need to pick up.
Once again, I'll shut up now.
This song was playing while I wrote, I found it really fit the theme.