Just a small warning that things are going to get pretty grim, and I've warned you about that about four times now I think. Remember that this update follows on directly from last Sunday's update, and not yesterdays. This is immediately after Trent crushed his own heart. Yes, it can get worse than that.
Trent came to the next day and stirred slowly before standing up quickly when he remembered what he had done the day before. He padded his chest but was unable to feel anything resembling a hole. He ran in to the bathroom of his ship and tore off his shirt to take a good look at his chest. There wasn’t a hole in his chest but there was a scar left behind from where he had cut himself. Over his time in the army and with everything he had done he had built up several scars but they all faded away over time, so he wasn’t too worried about having another. He expected it to be gone within the week, like the rest of his scars. He shaved, showered, and headed back to reality when he was done.
He immediately went to see Amanda to apologise for the way he reacted. He would have explained why he reacted the way he did but he felt it best to not say he had a girlfriend four hundred years ago he was yet to truly get over. He settled for saying he had an old girlfriend he wasn't aware he wasn't really over without saying how long it had been. Amanda, for her part, was more understanding than he could have expected but over the course of the next month it was apparent that despite what he had said, Trent was still uneasy about the whole thing and he had almost ran away a few more times. Amanda wasn’t ignorant, and could pick up on his feelings and as she suspected Trent would deny everything, she kept it to herself. She hoped he would come around to the idea eventually, but the chance for that to happen never came.
Another month in to the pregnancy Amanda sat Trent down in the living room of their house and told him she had an announcement to make.
“Trent,” she said, taking hold of his hands, “I’m not quite sure how to say this, so I’ll just say it. I lost the baby.” At first Trent was shocked and didn’t know how to react but when Amanda began crying he gently stroked her hand and tried to calm her down.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He cooed, wiping her tears away. “Whatever happened we’ll get through it, okay? I’m still here for you.”
“I’m not sure how it happened.” Amanda said, calming down and letting a smile start to spread on her face. “I just went to the doctor and he said that the baby wasn’t there anymore. I’m not sure what happened at all.”
“Then I’m sure it was nothing we could have prevented and I hope it won’t happen if you get pregnant again.” Trent said in an attempt to reassure her.
“Wait, you would want me to be pregnant?” Amanda asked, looking a little shocked.
“Well, yeah. Why not?” Trent asked, equally as shocked.
“Well the way you ran away when I told you is hardly a good sign you want to stay with me!” Amanda shouted, standing up.
“I already apologised for that and explained. It was a bad reaction, but I came to terms with it over time, and I began to enjoy the idea of starting a family with you.” Trent said, retaining his calm composure and demeanour.
“Then why did I catch you trying to run away all those times? I know what you’ve been thinking, you’ve been trying to get away.” She said accusingly.
“I haven’t been trying to run away. I’ve just been going out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out?”
“I thought I wouldn’t have to, we’ve been together long enough for me to walk out without telling you, I think.” Trent said, grinning a little.
“Not when I think you’re trying to run away!” Amanda shouted, knocking the smile off of Trent’s face.
“I wouldn’t run away, and I’d hope ya know that.”
“I don’t know that when as soon as I tell you, you run away, and don’t come back until the next day.” She said. Trent didn’t have an answer for that. He could hardly say the reason he didn’t come back sooner is because he ripped out and crushed his own heart. He hadn’t told Amanda anything about his immortality, and that was another reason he had freaked out so much when she said she was pregnant. He wasn’t expecting to try and start another life with someone else, and he didn’t know how anyone would react to his condition. To him, it wasn’t really something he could casually mention in a conversation, much less an argument.
“I’m sorry about that, I really am, but I came back, and I meant it when I said I wanted to stay with you and I was sorry.” He said, trying once more to reassure her.
“I was hoping with the baby gone you wouldn’t run away anymore, and we could stay together…” Amanda said softly between sobs.
“Amanda…” Trent began when he realised what she had said, and his brain began to process it, and the implications. “Amanda don’t tell me you did what I think you did.” His calm façade was fading as he stood up and tried to hug Amanda.
“I did! I did it for you, you stupid idiot!” Amanda shouted, as she swatted his arms away and sat back down on the couch and began crying heavily again. “I got rid of our baby.” She said eventually.
“Why would you do that?” Trent asked, shocked to say the least. He didn’t want to believe someone would actually go that far.
“Because I knew you didn’t want to stay with me when I was pregnant. I wanted you to stay, no matter what.” Amanda said.
“I’m sorry Amanda, but I don’t really know what to say.” Trent said at last. It wasn’t often he was left not knowing what to say.
“You could try saying you love me, you could try saying that you’re happy I would go so far to save our relationship.”
“I wouldn’t want our relationship to be saved by something like this, and I didn’t really think it needed saving. I’m sorry Amanda, but I need some time to think.” Trent tried to leave but Amanda grabbed him from behind.
“Don’t leave me Trent, I did all of this so you wouldn’t leave me.” She said between sobs.
“Things don’t always go the way you want, I guess.” Trent said, taking Amanda’s arms off of himself. “But I truly am sorry it turned out like this. I really am.” Trent said as he planted a kiss on her forehead and walked out the door, leaving her to cry to herself as she watched her future literally walk away from her.
I'm well aware I'm known for overplaying things, but I did find that hard to write. Also for my own safety I asked my psychologist friend and she confirmed a woman would indeed go this far to keep someone. Love is the most powerful and destructive force in the world, don't underestimate it.