Thursday, 28 February 2013

Reviewing Reviews And Cleaning

I do have a podcast for you this week. Still no theme tune (it's something I was sort of working on, but never really got around to, I'd hate for people to consider I was remotely professional about this stuff) and it's in two parts, or three, or something.

Well the first major part is a review that was posted about my book, and my reaction to it. Don't worry the review is mostly positive and so is my reaction. After that I moved on to a few other things including cleaning as I was recording it after cleaning up in preparation for a visit by my dear mother. Sadly my mother never did turn up, so you can safely ignore the parts about how she was going to visit the house. Something came up and she couldn't make it.

Anyway, enjoy the podcast. Now with a very small amount of random breaking out in to song. I think I should do it more, it provides some good padding for the show.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013


I was listening to some music recently when a quote started playing that the artist had spliced in to the song. While there was a time that inspiration quotes like this got me through the day, the time I rely on them has passed, but I know that things like this can really help a lot of people still, and it actually did get to me too. It's by Ira Glass who said;

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

I do find that incredibly relatebale. When you first start something, your ideas tend to be bigger than your talent, and sometimes it can take a while to become really groundbreaking, or at the very least, have your abilities catch up with your potential. Really, it's a race that may never be won, as you should always try to out do yourself.

I think it applies to a lot more than writing, and even more than just creative arts. It applies to pretty much anything people do. You probably won't be perfect at first, and I hate it when I'm not perfect at something straight away, or when I have I to redo something, or it takes a while to learn, but this is the way things are.

Take your time, and you'll get there in the end.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

A Public Service Announcement

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, ponies of all ages, I have a very simple service announcement for you guys.


Seriously, I wouldn't wish what I went through yesterday on even my worst enemy. It was a deep cleansing as far as I understood it. Essentially he had me keep my mouth open while his assistant constantly sprayed water on my teeth while he was scraping my teeth. It hurt a fair bit, but not too much but the sensation is still there two hours later (later addendum; I tried to brush my teeth for the evening, a full 8 hours after the appointment, and they were still so sore it hurt). My teeth are incredibly clean though, if I do say so myself. I had to turn down the painkillers too because I had other things to do later in my day. Although when I saw that it was a needle, and he was going to INJECT me in my GUMS I don't think I would have been able to say yes to it. I may have to have it next week though because I have to go again, and it's going to be an even deeper clean. If this one hurt, that one is going to be painful. He told me that he had to work harder on my mouth than he's had to work in a while. It makes me wonder about the marvel of my teeth when you consider he also said my teeth weren't as bad as they could have been. If they were still the worst he's seen in a while, but they were still "not bad", then how bad could they have been?

It's best not to think about it.

I am pleased to report that after that we did get back to some casual conversation, and I still like my dentist. I'm a little sad that after next week I probably won't see him until my next check up, in six months. He gave me a prescription for some special mouthwash too and I have to use it four times a day for the next four weeks.

I'm really no good with needles, and I do find it kind of funny (in a totally not funny way) that the painkiller is administered by INJECTING MY BLOODY GUMS. They're going to take away the pain, by giving me an incredibly painful injection.

Makes sense.

He also insisted that I need to brush my teeth two times a day from now on, and that I have to brush through the bleeding, it's going to happen for the next four weeks. Joy of joys!

This message brought to you by me, and Colgate, the cutest little dentist ever. Sadly, this is not my dentist.

Monday, 25 February 2013

Back From Break

This post is incredibly late because for some reason it reverted to draft even though I'm sure I scheduled it. Sorry about that. Although no one is probably going to read this, so eh.

I have to say I do feel kind of better after taking a weekend off of reading blogs. Although there is still some pain in my lower back. I think I've hurt my tailbone somehow and I hope that it sort of heals itself over time. Or at the very least, becomes a dull ache that I can take care of with an addiction to painkillers. Well, either way, I'm not doing much better in terms of sleep. Although again, I think it would be fun to be an insomniac. I did try getting an early night on Saturday but as it takes me a while to get to sleep anyway, I found myself unable to sleep when inspiration took me, and I knew I just had to make a note of my idea. Then I had to tweet about it, and then I had to talk to someone about it, and then I was left trying to sleep once more at a very late time. Although I am happy to report that yesterday I wrote nearly three thousand words.

Fair enough, none of them were in a current story, but it still counts. The first thousand or so were the start of my script for Thursdays podcast as something happened on Saturday I wanted to make sure I got an accurate memory of, and the rest was in a new short story, which was the idea I got in the middle of the night. It's coming along well, and I think you'll like it. It's a story based on one of my poems.

Anyway, I normally do a round up, but expect a super lazy version given how much I've just written here already.

 Tuesday was the video announcement I made to commemorate the release of MY BOOK. Which you should have PURCHASED by now. Even I downloaded a copy of it. Although I did it during the weekend when it was on offer for free. Which by the way was a rousing success. Nearly 100 copies were downloaded (fair enough, it was for free) including one French person. Thank you French person, but I'm afraid racial stereotypes mean I can't like you. You are, after all, French. I am, after all, English. History dictates we must hold a senseless distrust of eachother. Though I do like you, just don't tell anyone.

Wednesday wasn't an update about my trip to the dentists (that will come tomorrow, I DEFINITELY have an appointment today) and in the absence of hilarious dentistry tales to share, I instead shared a small story about what happened at work when my boss found out I was releasing a book. TL;DR, he guessed that everyone died in my stories. He was only partly correct. I also happen to be capable of writing sappy love stories.

Thursday was a podcast that was mostly me doing a live reading of the first story in my book; Tulips. This story is now infamous because it made my dear sister cry. She threatened to beat me over that too, but the main thing is she cried. Because I have not much else to say I would like to extend my thanks to my sister, who has proven instrumental in getting the word of my book out there, as she is spreading it to the far corners of the internet. I really do hope that making it available for free will help encourage paid sales further down the line.

Friday was the result of me waiting until the middle of the night to realise I hadn't written a post, and then just writing whatever came to my addled, sleep deprived mind. Oddly enough that's also how I'm writing this post. It was mostly me announcing that the book was free during the weekend and, as such, is quite out of date.

Saturday was the first of the Immortal Space updates of the week, and I should be able to roll out another double update this week. To mention my sister once more she also commented that the stories I was writing on my blog were pretty good, and I can only assume she meant IS. I had no idea she liked Sci-Fi. Then again I also had no idea I could write Sci-Fi, and I still remain unconvinced of the fact that I can.


Sunday, 24 February 2013

To Mars And Back

Once again, I actually did some research on this to find out what Mars looks like. I had heard that even though its called The Red Planet this was only because of the atmosphere and the ground itself isn't very red. I also wasn't sure what the topography of the surface was like. So, I hope this chapter is actually quite accurate. If not you can....well, I dunno.

Complain, I guess?

Another flaw with the private spacecraft was that they still hadn’t broken the speed of light, at least not with engines. Even without breaking the speed of light, the craft couldn’t go anywhere near as fast as that as the hull wasn’t durable enough to last at such high speeds. Trent was so excited about the prospect of stealing the craft and going to another planet that he hadn’t really thought everything through and unfortunately had to turn the craft back around when he realised that he had no food, water, or even a space suit to put on once he managed to land. He couldn’t die, and he had managed to live without food and water for a while when in the desert, but he had no plans to live like that for nearly a year. He stayed in space long enough to get a good grasp of the controls, and look around, before heading back to his home in Texas. He figured that even if people did look for the ship, they wouldn’t look in what was still a very radioactive area. He set off for home, hoping that the radiation wouldn’t destroy the ship too much while he set about getting supplies.

A week later and he had pretty much everything he needed. He had even gone out of his way to find more fuel and pilfer a space suit. He set out in to space once more, hoping to not need to turn around this time until he got to Mars. He had the good sense to take a lot of books up with him in the craft and so spent most of his time reading and finding other ways to kill the time. The ship he had stolen had been a prototype that was only really capable of space flight and had no real amenities beyond a bedroom and a bathroom. While a full commercial model might have had electronic entertainment, this one didn’t, and Trent had to do his best to get by without it.

Eventually he managed to land on Mars and he proceeded to get out of the ship, and look around. In a way it reminded him of his desert home but it was also vastly different at the same time. The atmosphere gave the land a reddish appearance, even though the effect was lessened from the surface. He could see some rises in the difference, and set off towards them, hoping to have a much better view from the top of them.

When he reached them he was able to climb up them easier than he probably should have thanks to the lower gravity, and took a look down at the planet from a height. The view took his breath away as he could see a large amount of the planet. He saw dips in the ground that looked like they could have once been rivers, and other rises that looked like they could have been mountains. It was the most pure sight he had ever seen since his time in the desert. The desert was harsh, but part of him had admired how natural the place had been. It, much like Mars, was entirely untouched by man. He couldn’t help but imagine what the place had looked like before and he did the same with Mars. He imagined that at some point or another there may have been water flowing through those dips, and that maybe even the planet had supported life at one point. He thought back to the growing population problem on the Earth, and got the idea that maybe it would again one day if people had enough motivation to work out how to do it. He also knew enough about the world to know that motivation meant money. It would have been nice to him if the population problem had been enough of a motivation, but he knew that wasn’t likely to happen. The lack of fossil fuels hadn’t been enough of a motivation to get people to fully grasp alternate energies. While he wanted to help preserve the natural beauty of the land before him, he also wanted to help out his own planet, and helping people get off of it would have certainly helped there. There was less and less natural beauty in the world these days and it was getting depressing. It was one of the reasons he had been so keen to see the world from space, and see lands that humanity would never touch. He decided to take a look at how much air his suit had left and set off quickly towards the ship when he saw how low it was getting. He had been out on the surface for a lot longer than he intended to be. With his new goal in mind of advancing humanity towards the stars, he set off towards Earth once more.

I say the only thing you can complain about is the lack of formatting.

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Boring Updates Hoy!

A small announcement before the update. Due to how tired and bad I've been feeling lately, I'm afraid I won't be reading any blog updates this weekend. I really need a rest, and I think all the work I've been doing relating to the book has taken it out of me, and I do hope a few days rest will help.Thanks for understanding. If you don't understand, eh.

These updates are going to be way more history based than story based, but on the good side I'm setting up more of the world and I'm moving ever so closer to the real world. That's why there's such large time skips by the way. The story may feel a little rushed but for the most part these things don't really need to be explored, just generally explained. Anyway, enjoy your update!

Trent lived in this manner for about seventeen years in all. He stayed in his old bomb shelter and over the course of time had begun to expand it. It was far from the vault it would one day become, but it was bigger and was becoming more of an actual underground home, and less of a bomb shelter. He would have gotten an apartment or home in the city, and he certainly had enough money for one, but he preferred staying where he was now that he had confronted the memories, and as he became more comfortable with them, he decided to stay where they were. In a way he was becoming trapped in a different mental world, but he never thought about it much. He continued his work in the police force and managed to work his way up the system and was spending more time inside the police station at his desk these days than on the streets taking care of crime personally. The only problem he saw with his way of life was that the radiation sickness was still getting to his hair, and he was quite fond of it. He found that after a year or so the sickness stopped and he didn’t lose his hair anymore. He still wore the hat when he could, even if it was no longer to hide his baldness, as he had become accustomed to it. He theorised that even though his immortality hadn’t stopped him from getting sick, it did eventually fight away the sickness and make him immune to it. The only way to test out such a theory would be to deliberately catch some very nasty diseases, and he was in no hurry to do that, so it had to remain a theory.

The reason he had to change his lifestyle came when the police station was celebrating his seventeenth year with the service. He had a very impressive service record and they were keen to celebrate it, and him. As he was walking around the station being congratulated and thanking the people doing it, he really looked at the faces around him and he noticed that while he hadn’t aged much in the past ten years, the people who had managed to last as long as he had with the force, and the people who had just been there longer than him, were aging. He came to another conclusion that day; he wasn’t going to age. He could have afforded maybe a few more years before people began to notice, but he didn’t want to risk it. He bought himself a ticket to fly to Canada and prepared to leave his old home behind once more. He bought a safe and left a lot of money in it in his old home just in case he should ever need it again, shaved off the beard he had been growing for a few months, and settled in to his bed. He only had one suitcase packed with what he felt was essential, and everything else was going to be left behind.

He arrived in Canada the next day after an uneventful plane ride over and set to work recreating what he had done in China so many years ago. He bought a cheap laptop and a mobile internet connection for it, as well as booking himself in to a hotel under a fake name. He quickly set about to the task at hand; forging his own credentials once more. Instead of changing his own records too much he simply added a son for himself. He was forty five now and created for himself a twenty five year old son, also called Trent Saxon, and became through a technicality, Trent Saxon the Second. He also made sure his “son” was a Canadian citizen to be safe. Smiling to himself as he quickly removed any traces of what he had done, he proceeded to quickly destroy the laptop and get out of the hotel. He was much more confident in his hacking skills than ever before, but one could never be too careful.

He rented out a proper apartment after finding his way to the next town over, and set about re-restarting his life anew. He had enough money to last him long enough to find a job, so he chose to relax for a week or so, and enjoy a well-deserved break away from everything. As he would probably never get to actually retire, he felt it was more than fair for him to take an extended leave.

He did get a job at a local supermarket and while it was not as glamorous as being a member of the police force, it was still a job. Within a few years he had managed to work his way up to the top and do quite well for himself. He remembered how to fly an aircraft still from his time in the military but had decided to get himself a legitimate pilot’s license anyway. After a few more years he had his own private plane, and felt that the next time he had to restart his life, or return to his home in Texas, he would be able to do so much easier.

This manner of living continued on for about eighty years. Every few decades he would return home to Texas and start again. The wealth he was building up in his lifetimes made it easier to start anew and he learned a few skills in his spare time to make it even easier, such as forging his own passports and credentials. Eventually people were beginning to own their own spacecraft and even though they were rather crude, and couldn’t go further than the Moon, Trent was quick to grab one for himself as soon as he could. He had already seen most of the world and was growing very curious as to what else was out there. He wasn’t able to go out in to space much at first as the fuel was very expensive but he funded several projects that were seeking to find cheaper and more renewable sources of fuel and after a few more decades of research and development more fuel efficient spacecraft were made. It took a while for them to become available to the public but Trent reasoned to himself that he had practically bought them by funding the research and no one was going to miss one spacecraft. He was wrong, as people did notice, but by then it was too late, and Trent was headed to Mars laughing gleefully.

If you have any complaints I will punch you in the face.

No, not really, but I did do some research for these next few chapters. Mostly on how long it takes to get to Mars. It turns out that's not an easy question because Mars is constantly bloody moving and it takes on average about a year, but can take half a year when it's closest to us. I worked on the average of near a year.

Friday, 22 February 2013

From Nothing...Comes Madness

Ooooh that's pretty good. I should use that in a story somewhere.

Well, anyway, from nothing will indeed come madness as I find myself writing out a blog post from nothing, at one in the morning, when I'm a little ill. So, yeah, this is going to be one of those really weird posts that's all over the place and I say the same sentence twenty times over in various ways. I'm not totally ill as in sneezing my face off and laid in bed ill, but I just don't feel right. It's mostly my stomach so I think if I just eat more fruit and eat a bit better I'll feel better soon enough. It's kind of hard to believe a vegetarian could eat badly but there you go.

Being a little depressed hasn't helped too much. I've been really tired because of a mixture of mental and physical problems and so I've not gotten much writing done this week. So much for my insane schedule. At least I wrote something in both Immortal Space and Caspian, and I still have enough IS to do double updates next week without worrying about running out. Which, by the way, I will be doing. So look forward to that. The depression isn't helped by the fact my book has only sold seven copies so far, but I do know that a lot of people (at least everyone I've spoken to about it) says that seven is pretty good. Especially considering I've gotten zero-to-incredibly little advertising. I'm also aware that this is something that takes time to build up and there's a good chance in a month I'll have a fair few sales, but it's pretty hard to not be disillusioned  I am, by my very nature, a very hopeless person. Though to say I didn't expect things to go this way would make me sound very naive and stupid. I'm not, I'm just impatient and was hoping things wouldn't be so slow to pick up. Which seems like a silly thing to say after saying I'm quite hopeless.

Anyway, speaking of my book I have a small announcement, and a small apology too. My apologies to the people who have bought it, but this weekend it will be available for free. If you want to get it for free, then all I ask is that you leave a review. I'm hoping random people will take advantage of it being free and by having it be free for two days, I'll help increase sales when it's not so free. I'd love to have some proper advertising but, well, I have no money.

Please refer to the attached picture to see how not having a Kindle is no excuse as there is a Kindle app for PC's, Macs, iPhones, whatever.

Look how cheap it is too! I'm practically giving it away
And I guess that's that. This didn't end up being as weird or random as I thought it would be. I'm mildly disappointed.

Once again, my thanks and love go out to everyone who has bought it, more so to the people who left reviews, (super love to Fang for making a post about it) and I guess I'm sorry for this entire week (except for Wednesday) being about my bloody book. I actually do feel a little guilty about that. Doesn't help my depression really but oh well.

I'd also like to say some of this advertising/whoring has made me feel like a bit of a dick. But I'll get over that.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Live Reading

The podcast is mostly for people who didn't catch the video on Tuesday but there is still more for people who did catch it, as I do a live reading of the first story of my book and I spoke a bit more about the book itself. It was recorded on Tuesday so it's mildly out of date. I can inform you that at the point of writing, I have sold five copies. I'd prefer more, and I'm quite impatient, but oh well. This really is something that takes a little time to build up. I'd also like to thank Chiz, who left a review, and ask anyone else who has bought it to leave me a review. They really do help a lot. Oh and a thanks to my sister, who has insisted I mention her in a post, and has finally earned one. She posted a link to the story on her Facebook and she's a very nice and well connected lady who can hopefully help drum up some sales.

Podcast Powered By Podbean

A quick summary of something mentioned in the podcast that's kind of important is I would love you guys to help spread the word, say by making a post about the book, but there's not much I can actually do. I would do a giveaway, but I can't really think of anything to give away. If you have an idea for one, then let me know. If you want to just be nice and help me out anyway, I'll love you and should a giveaway eventually come about, you'll still get a place in it.

Because I would love you so much with the small black hole in my chest where my heart was.

Oh, and my sister said the first story (the one I read in the podcast) made her cry. So I even evoked emotional responses in people.

Go me.

Once again, if you haven't purchased the book, then you should, and if you have, you should leave a review. Sometimes I think I should stop asking, and start demanding. Ah well, I guess I'm not that selfish. 

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

No Dentistry Update

Well as I mentioned in an edit Monday I didn't have to go to the dentist. Seeing as I woke up at five AM feeling sick and had trouble getting back to sleep again, and was incredibly tired for the day, I didn't mind so much. A rest day suited me just fine. I didn't even get any writing done, but I did spend a few hours correctly formatting my book, which went quite well overall and was definitely worth it.

The only problem with a lack of dentistry? Having to find something else to write about. Which is pretty much what I'm doing. There are only so many times I can tell you to BUY MY BOOK before one of us gets tired of doing it. While I think you're more likely to get bored of it first (by the way a massive thank you to anyone who HAS bought it) it doesn't take up much room.

Well other than that I don't really have much...hmmmmm....I'll tell you a little about my work on Sunday I guess actually. I did go to work last Sunday. Something that happened was that I told my boss about my book release and we had a bit of a chat about it. He guessed that someone died in every story (not EVERY story) and said it was unsurprising how much people die. He doesn't have much faith in my morality you see, and seems to think I want a lot of people around me dead and have a very dark and twisted mind.

He's right of course! We actually have a ceremonial ax in the shop and as much as I want it, I can't afford it. But he also won't let me play with it. Douche. I just want to play with an ax. It's not even sharp! It's only ceremonial it's not like I'll actually do any real damage with it...Ahhh, working life.

Oh he also didn't see the logic when I said he should pay me (remember I'm a volunteer) because everyone pays for their mistakes (I had just made a minor mistake and he said "What are we going to do with you?" and I said "Pay me?" and I felt he should pay for mine, with money. I personally thought it was a very logical argument, but he didn't.

Though I do think that would make a good advertising campaign: "Buy my book, or I'll show you what I can do with a blunt'll wish it was sharp." 

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Major Announcement; Video Included!

While it's true nearly everything is covered in the video, I do have some links for you.

Buy my book!

Just swap the "" for your own domain. For example, if you're in America, swap "" for ".com", and you'll find it where you are. Or just search for "Tulips and Other Stories" I guess. My way is easier. Like me myself. I am essentially a cheap whore with expensive rates.

Consult the following picture for further instructions. I just ask that you click the "like" button (it's nothing to do with Facebook, don't worry) and remember you don't need a Kindle to buy it, because there is a Kindle program for PC's and apps. I'd ask for a five star review, or any kind of review (it would help) but I'm not about to demand them.

My proofreading editor, for I promised to whore him as well as myself, can be found HERE and HERE. Once again I would like to thank him for all his help, and the rest of you for helping make this possible. You have my love.

Now buy my book!

Monday, 18 February 2013

Let The Madness Begin!

I plan to let today be the beginning of my crazy writing schedule. This is the plan; I'll write three times a week, once in Immortal Space, once in Caspian, and then have a session of editing Immortal Space. Generally 2000 words in each go, so basically instead of working out 3000 words a week I plan to work out a minimum of 4000. If I can actually retain a good mood it should be more than easy, I think I wrote about 8-10k last week. When you take blogging in to account there's about another 3-5k words (counting podcast scripts), so...yeah...I'm going to kill myself with writing. I haven't heard anything back yet from my proofreader/editor but when I do I'll let you guys know. So for now enjoy a round up.

Tuesday was a post about pancake day and the mixed results I had when I made pancakes as well as a bit about the history of the day itself which I made the smart choice of fact checking. I was right, and didn't really need to fact check, but it's always good to check.

Wednesday was a post about my trip to the dentist. I believe I have another appointment to day I need to double check, so if I do you can look forward to hearing about that tomorrow. The appointment went pretty well really. I traded some banter with the surprisingly awesome dentist and he told me that my teeth were in relatively good shape, but my gums would need a good cleaning, which is what I'm in there for today. If you're wondering why he put a camera in my mouth, it was to take an x-ray of my teeth.

Thursday was a podcast on the subjects of reading and writing and there was really quite a bit crammed in there. The main things I guess are reading too much in to things, how much I plan on writing, and in the end I read a little story. While it may not sound like much, it really was.

Friday was my final therapy post as I had my final therapy session. Based on questionnaires and things it seems like I have come quite a long way and really I do think I have. If you're wondering why there were only ten sessions, it's not that I'm miraculously better it's just that ten is all you get on the NHS. If more were necessary, I could have gotten them, but I didn't feel they were THAT necessary, and so didn't ask for them. I would need counselling more than I would need more therapy. I don't plan to get counselling any time soon though. I just plan to keep up with my plans, and continue the good work I've done these past four months.

Saturday was the first of two Immortal Space updates I posted over the weekend. We're almost done with the flashbacks now. Or, at least, I am. You guys have about a month of them left unless I continue double updating. Sucks to be you, I guess. The writing style felt different to me, because, well, it was. It was written in my actual writing style which is very fluid, and prose. I actually write in a very dignified manner. The only downside I've noticed with this is that there is almost no conversation. Rather than write out an actual conversation, I just write what was said, and the results of it.

Sunday was the second of the Immortal Space updates. A few things to respond to here; Brian brought up about how difficult it actually is to join a police force, so my apologies for that. To be honest the only source of reference I have for that is the Police Academy movies. Seriously. So when it comes time to edit that, I'll keep that in mind. Fang also said it was a bit...I'm not sure what the word is, that Trent was suddenly a master hacker and all he used it for was coming back from the dead on an official level. As I said to Fang on Twitter that's all he really needed it for anyway. I'll admit it's really quite convenient, and it's bordering on deus ex machina, but at the same time it's a solution to a problem he had. I guess if I had included some hacking before then it might not be such a big deal, and some might find it's way in to the edits and Super Bonus Retail Only Bonus Chapter(s). I guess if I had just included the line "hacking was a skill he had picked up many years ago, and even though he rarely needed to use it anymore, it still had it's uses" then there wouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, that was my week.

Oh, saying it right now, there WILL be another Immortal Space double update this weekend.

No guarantee on there being a book release this week.

EDIT: There won't be a dentist post tomorrow as I'm not even at the dentist tomorrow. I need to learn to read my own posts and find out that my dentist trip is next week, not this week.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Immortal Space Weekend Extravaganza...Part Two

Here we are with part two of the Immortal Space Double Update Fun Fest Weekend Of Fun Event. I won't bother writing a ton of stuff because this update is longer than the last one. Enjoy!
Trent touched down in the Texan airport and quickly exited the aircraft before anyone could discover him hiding out in it. Security in the airport was still tighter than ever but it was still nothing compared to his skills. He wondered briefly why he had bothered to have a passport made up if he didn’t plan to travel legally but remembered it would still be good to have identification and could come in useful later. He made his way out of the airport and briefly considered hailing a cab before remembering he had left China as soon as he had his passport and barely had any money to his name. He opted instead to once again utilise less than legal means and picked up a rather non-descript car from the parking lot of the airport. The alarm he set off in it was not so non-descript and neither was the way he smashed through the barrier on his way out of the place. He felt that the ensuing police chase was about as far from non-descript as it was possible to go. He quickly discovered driving was made a lot faster when you didn’t have to take the fact you might die in to consideration, though it certainly did result in more property damage. To the police’s credit they were able to follow him until about thirty miles away from where he was headed. He couldn’t understand why they had just left him alone and turned around when he noticed something; all around him was a wasteland of broken buildings and missing roads. He had lived a little out of town, near a fairly large city and he was expecting to drive through a busy city, and not a seemingly large wasteland. He turned the car back around and headed to where the police had decided to stop chasing him and he saw something he was amazed he had managed to miss the first time he passed it. It was a large billboard that declared in gigantic white letters that he was entering a radiation zone. His wife hadn’t simply been killed as a casualty of war, his entire home had been hit by a nuclear bomb. He knew right then that no matter what, there was no that Taliah was alive. They had a bomb shelter, most people got one during the war, but they couldn’t afford one that could potentially help stop a nuclear blast and Trent had hoped no one would be foolish enough to fire one. He had come this far though, and he was determined to keep going, so he set off in to the radiation zone. He understood now why the police had turned back; they weren’t about to drive in to a radiation zone, and they figured if he really did drive in to one, he would be dead soon enough. He knew he was not about to die any time soon though, so he wasn’t afraid.

It was much harder to find where he used to live without anything around indicating where he was, but he drove in the general direction of his house and soon enough he had left the city limits and came across the abandoned ruins of a moderately sized house. Not much had survived the blast, mostly the foundations sticking out of the ground. He had a look around but he could find nothing salvageable and could find no trace of Taliah’s body. He wasn’t expecting to, with it being so long since her death, but a little more closure would have been nice. He found his way to the bomb shelter and was amazed to discover that it had mostly survived the blast. It wouldn’t have been safe even if it retained its integrity because the radiation would have still gotten in, but it held up to the initial blast quite well. Trent left what was left of his old home, and headed back in to the part of the city that was still in one piece. He made the smart choice of leaving the car near the border of the radiation zone and proceeding on foot to help hide from the police, but he wasn’t planning on travelling too far in to the city. He had some big plans for what was left of his home, and above all else would require a job. As he planned to still live in the old house, albeit in the bomb shelter, he would need something as close to the edge as he could get. It was still a long trek as no one wanted to live close to a radiation zone but he reasoned with himself once more that he had all the time in the world.

After a few hours he made it back in to the city proper and began looking around for anywhere he could find a job. It didn’t take him as long as he thought it would as he found a police station that was looking for more recruits. He was still in prime physical condition from his time in the army and he was careful to reconstruct his records as close to the original thing as they were, so his time in the army was still on his official records. As an ex-military man in such good shape, he was practically made an officer as soon as he applied. Mandates dictated he would still have to pass basic training though so he agreed to report back the next day for training and left the police station. As he was walking back to the car he remembered that just a few hours ago he was being chased by a load of police across the city and in to an irradiated zone. Either no one saw his face, or he was already presumed dead, if no one had tried to arrest him. He noticed what happened when he saw his reflection in a shop window he passed. While the radiation hadn’t damaged his body in a way he could feel internally, his hair was beginning to fall out, and he looked far different than how he did a few hours ago. He wasn’t sure how he had managed to miss his hair falling out, and accepted it was because he had been so determined and hadn’t taken notice of anything beyond what he was doing. On his way back to the car he stopped by a shop to pick up a hat to cover his head. It was a cowboy hat and while he had never been very fond of them, despite being a Texan born and bred, he had to admit it did look good on him. He also made sure to pick up some gasoline to fuel his car so he could make it home and back to the police station in the morning. With the last of his money he picked up some paints to spray the car with. He was going to hope that no one would recognise the car’s license plates until he could afford a computer to change himself to the cars legal owner and that a change of colour would be enough to help cover up the fact it was stolen. With everything he needed in hand, he set off once more in to the desolate wasteland that would become his home.

Bloody hell that's a serious lack of formatting right there. But you now know the origins of Trent's hat! I've not decided if that's THE hat, but I highly doubt it is.

I don't think a hat could last 400 years. Oh and a tease for you guys, because I'm a dick. Keep in mind that Trent's immortality/healing factor is adaptive and while it doesn't prevent every disease, it can conquer anything over time. It'll come in to play later.

Look at me, being a massive tease.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Immortal Space Weekend Extravaganza...Part One

To put this simply, I have done an INSANE amount of writing over the past week. This is what happens to me when I'm actually happy. I'm productive, and I enjoy what I do. One of the reasons I've found it so hard to stop writing isn't just because I feel I should be writing, but because darn it's been fun. Anyway, I have a special treat for you this weekend. As I've written basically over a months worth of Immortal Space (I can confirm for you we're still not out of the flashbacks. Every time I say to myself "end it already!" more stuff keeps coming to me. But I've now covered well over one hundred years of Trent's life, and there are large time skips, so, soon.) I decided to have not one update, but two! The other one is coming up tomorrow. Honestly if I can keep up this regimen of writing then I could actually move towards double updates every weekend. I make no promises though, for now just enjoy it.

Oh, if they seem to be written in a different style, well, they are. It's called "I'm Happy", my writing becomes more fluid when I'm happy.


Trent lived in a simple manner for a few years. He left the Middle East and travelled to Asia. He didn’t have any money or a passport but it wasn’t very difficult for him to get on a plane using the skills he picked up in the military. It wasn’t a very comfortable ride but it was free. He stayed hidden in the Chinese wilderness and lived off of what he fruits he could find, and what meat he could hunt. It was a lonely existence but it suited him fine. He had a lot of time to ruminate and sort out his thoughts about the loss of Taliah and what he was going to do now. He knew if it was possible he probably would have reacted emotionally and killed himself so he made sure to take himself away from the world until he had sorted out his emotions.

He woke up one day feeling different and knew he had come to terms with things as much as he could and that it was time to return home. He knew there were more things he had to do before he went home to America and he set off for the mainland and made his way to Beijing. It was a long journey but he was able to make it in a few months.

When he arrived he was quick to get his hands on some money using less than legal means and find himself a place to stay. When he was set up properly he went out to find more legal means to make money and he quickly found work for someone as strong as himself. During the war China had made the smart choice to support the west and once the war had settled down the Chinese factories were opened once more to continue making clothes and toys. Things in China had become much more humane, but they were still the production capital of the world.

Things continued in this fashion for a month or two before Trent earned enough money to rent a cheap apartment to get some privacy and space, a computer, and get an internet connection set up. He had everything he needed now and quickly set to work. As well as things becoming more humane in China, the internet had become much less restricted, and the Great Firewall was going the way of the Berlin Wall. During the times of the Great Firewall a lot of Chinese people had become proficient hackers to get around it and those are the people Trent needed. He would either get their advice, or buy their services. He was hoping to get the former and after some digging around on the internet, he found a list of chatrooms where people of dubious respect could be found. He struck gold after a few flops and set about learning the ways of hacking. He would have just employed them to do what he had planned but the skills may have been useful down the line when he was done.

After some time spent working on his technical skills and practicing cracking in to some databases he prepared to tackle the big prey. He was going to try and crack in to the American social security database. If he was going to make his way back in to the world now that he had sorted himself out he would need to come back to life. He made his way in to the system and tried to find his own records, but discovered that when the army said they had deleted his records, they really had. He could find no trace of himself on the system. He was forced to find his parents records and he was able to add that they had a son called Trent Saxon and that he was born in 1988. Trent smiled at the fact he had just created a 29 year old man from nowhere but the smile faded as he decided to do something else while he was inside the system. He looked for Taliah’s records and the depression he thought he had dealt with come back when he discovered she was listed as deceased. He quickly shut down the connections and shut down the computer. He then destroyed the computer and informed the owner of the apartment building that he was going to have to leave. He had taken the apartment using a fake name, and no one in China knew his real name, but he was going to take no chances if his cracking was traced and someone came looking for him.

He found a new apartment building and rented it under a new fake name and he left his job and found a new one just to be safe. He had everything he needed to head back home except for getting a new passport which would take a little more time.

After a few more months he set about scouring the internet once more. This time he wouldn’t be able to do the job himself so he needed to find someone who could do the job for him. He was able to find someone to do the job and wired the money across. A few weeks later he acquired his new passport and he set off for America, heading straight for his old home in Texas.


I suppose if you want some kind of fancy name for the event it could be called Trent's Homecoming because the updates do deal with his return to Texas. Oh and yes Trent was born in 1988, and he joined the army at 24 and was there for a year and a half before joining the black ops. He was with the black ops for a year before being put in the program where he spent half a year sedated. I may have to put this information in the story during editing. I just felt like adding some random background information right now though. This is also the third time I've changed his age, and changed it literally today, and was thankfully able to edit the post before anyone read it. Or commented at least.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Final Therapy Post

I'm actually feeling a little nostalgic because this is probably going to be the last time I'm in this situation. Writing something up in the library before heading home after a therapy session. But this was my last therapy session, and it was a pretty good one.

It was mostly self reflection, acknowledging how far I've come and how I can avoid ending up like I was before. To put it simply, I've come quite a long way. When you go to a therapy session they have you fill out a little questionnaire to assess your stress and depression levels. When I first went there I was scoring 24/30 (IE, pretty bloody depressed) and this time I was scoring 12. In numerical values my stress and depression have literally halved. But we all know I'd had a damn fine week. I've written so much, and now instead of having trouble writing, I'm having trouble not writing. I'm still on quite a high at the thought of publishing a book next week (or the week after) and so, yeah, things are pretty spiffing for me right now.

We mostly worked on reflection, like I said, and how I can spot the triggers and what causes me to be depressed, and how I can go about preventing and what to do should it happen despite my efforts to prevent it. The main trigger I have, as far as depression goes, is when someone is critical. Be it about my work, or my apeparance, or what I do, I don't handle criticism very well. But I am doing better with it now. The first time Greg proof read my short stories the criticism sent me in to a depressive spiral I only broke out of recently. Now though, I've told myself, and him, and several other people, no matter what he says about my work I won't get depressed. I'll take care of what needs to be done, and then I shall publish it. I won't let anything stop me from escaping my own personal Hell.

A very effective way to deal with the stress and depression is to plan my days out in advance. When I'm in a good mood I'm insanely productive and I don't really need a plan. I tend to put something down and pick something back up. When I'm depressed I tend to just ruminate and think about what to do, without actually doing something. Planning in advance eliminates that because I know what it is I'm going to do. The only problem I have with that is I can't force myself to write. If I'm not in the mood for it, my writing sucks. But there are plenty of other things I can do to pick myself up.

I've also decided I really should be treating myself more. I tend to latch on to criticism, not compliments, and I rarely ever reward myself for good work. Although actually lately I''ve bought myself a few things and I do have plans for that first royalty check. Don't worry though, a lot of it is going in to the bank as I have planned to take six months to finish Immortal Space. So every time I get a royalty check I'm going to divide it by seven, which is six monthly allowances, and some for my savings account. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to decrease how much I divide it by each month, ie the second check only gets divided six times, as I'll have five months to go, and I may have to do that really.

Anyway, basically, the session went pretty well, and therapy itself has gone quite well. I've come quite a distance, and I can look back and realise that. I'm also better prepared to deal with the world, at least, in other people's eyes.

The main thing I can take away from this though is something I can tell to all of you. If there is something you're worried about doing, then just do it. The longer you put it off, the more the nightmare builds up in your head, and the harder it is to do it.

Things are rarely ever going to be as bad as you imagine.

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Reading And Writing

I have a fairly coherent podcast for once dedicated to the subjects of reading and writing. As per usual there is some impromptu singing involved, and once again I can only apologise profusely for it. Included is some stuff to do with...well, reading and writing. Including potential writing schedules and possible blogging schedules. I also perform a reading of a story at the end. The original, written version, of which can be found here and it's by Chiz so I thoroughly recommend you at least glance at it. Also I was able to finally turn my microphone up to normal levels so I'll warn you now, it may be a bit louder than you expect. You may want to turn your volume back down if you turn it up just to listen to my podcast. Last time I experimented with volume levels I hurt peoples ears and I don't want a repeat performance.

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Also I really overuse the word "father" just because I imagine it sounds awesome when I say it. I don't mean to brag or anything but all of this was written and recorded on Tuesday after I edited two Immortal Space updates (and turned them in to one large whole chapter) and wrote one, and I wrote a 3000 word script. I was very, very busy on Tuesday and I can only hope this level of "Getting things done" remains consistent.

Oh, and a note, my post for tomorrow is going to be late because it's going to be the final therapy post, about my final therapy session. Hence it being the final therapy post.

Lastly, I forgot to mention it any where in the podcast but happy V-Day I guess. That's Valentines Day. I think I had a nice long rant about it last year. Looking in my archives reveals that I planned to, but said I would save it for this year instead because I was posting a story.


Next year I will DEFINITELY rant about Valentines Day. I doubt my views will have changed. Maybe I should write it and schedule it a year in advance so I don't accidentally miss it again.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Dentistry In One Word

That one word my friends is: Awesome.

Seriously my dentist was really awesome. He was a camp Indian guy and we had a lot of fun banter. I'm kind of sad that when he was telling me to brush every day and he said "No matter what time you wake up, if it's one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock" he did not say "rock" and have us burst out in to a rendition of Rock Around The Clock. Although something truly tragic happened on Monday. My lovely little keyring broke. But I'm supposed to be telling you about my trip to the dentist.

It went really well, despite my fears. I was worried he would tell me that he had to pull some teeth out or shove some fillings in but he informed me that despite the fact I never really brush my teeth, and it's been over ten years since I saw a dentist, my teeth are in fine condition. Except for a few things here and there including a wisdom tooth that might not come in at all my teeth are doing okay. My gums on the other hand are a different matter. I have gum disease, which I already knew thanks to the bleeding gums (which by the way was the reason I didn't brush, I thought I was doing more harm than good) and we have to fix that. I'm due back in a few weeks for a followup appointment where he's going to do something that sounded really cool where basically he's going to clean my gums and help fix it. I have to clean my teeth every day despite the bleeding and so I shall. I will not let down the awesomely camp man.

He took an x-ray of my teeth too and said, once again, the teeth aren't bad but the gums are. I felt like being sick when he shoved the camera in my mouth because I have a bad gag reflex but he told me to just keep breathing through my nose and it helped so nothing bad happened.

So all in all a pretty fun visit. I really don't know why I was so scared. Well, I do, but now I don't really care. It went very well. 

The only thing though is that he didn't mention my slightly crooked teeth so I think he has no plans to correct that until it becomes a problem. After this visit in a few weeks there's one more after it, and then it should just be regular check ups from there.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Pancake Day

The fact that today is pancake day is the reason you have to wait until tomorrow before you learn what happened when I took a trip to the dentist. Huh, that almost sounds like a good idea for a children's book about the dangers of not going to a dentist for ten years. Depends on how it goes I guess. Anyway yes, today is pancake day. Now I'm no longer sure of the history any more, so I can't really go in to that. I'd love to educate you, but I can't. The way I understand it is that Shrove Tuesday indicates the beginning of Lent and people would use up all their eggs, milk, and flour so that it wouldn't go to waste. Now I've said that I'm actually going to have to look it up.

A quick look at Wikipedia reveals I am correct. Go me.

Well anyway this pancake day is special because it's the first time I ever made pancakes myself. I was always put off by the flippy thing you see, and felt I wouldn't be able to do it. I still feel that way, as I did no flipping. I went to the library and there was a nice woman there with some recipe cards with recipes to help you use up food so it doesn't go to waste and one such recipe was a recipe for banana pancakes. It seemed pretty simple and best of all the recipe called for you to use a knife to flip the pancakes, rather than just flipping them. Last Saturday I gave it a go. It didn't go quite so well as the pancakes didn't keep their shape at all, and stuck to the pan (so I wouldn't be able to flip them anyway) and would fall apart. A joke I made on Twitter is that they were more like Pancake Bites than Pancakes. But the main thing is that they were edible, and delicious at that. So that was good.

This was the first pancake I made, and actually the only one to remain in such a large piece
So I still feel pretty good about the whole thing. Although I did make a mess, so I don't imagine pancakes will make their way in to my regular diet any time soon. Unless I buy some premade pancake batter but let's face it, I wouldn't be too surprised if they contained some degree of horsemeat too. You might not get that if you don't live in the UK but basically it turns out a surprisingly large amount of food in our supermarkets contain horse meat. Someone made the rather excellent joke that Burger King burgers had so much horse in them the Fillet-o-Fish sandwiches had sea horse in them.

Monday, 11 February 2013

The Editing Has Been Completed

The editing of my short stories has indeed been completed and now I need to just leave them be for a week before giving them a once over again. I'm going on the assumption that I won't find anything I need to change, so I hope to have them published soon. You'll know when they're released because I'll go in to 24/7 whoring mode. Seriously, every single post will mention the book, you have been warned. I've also got some other things to do with writing but that's going to have to wait. I'm also going to the dentist today, which is going to be nightmarish. You'll have to wait until Wednesday for information about that though. For now, have yourselves a pretty little round up.

Tuesday I wrote a post about the introduction to the story I posted the week before last. It's tentatively titled "Caspian Crenshaw And The..." He still has no grand treasure to seek to make up the rest of the title. Or, you know, I could give it a good title. I've still not written in it actually, what with devoting all my time to the short stories. As well as dedicating more time to Immortal Space this week I plan to write at least one update to Caspian.

Wednesday was about how I was feeling melancholic after completing a video game and about how I've just been more melancholic in general lately and not reacting how I normally would to things. My therapist says these reactions were actually normal, so I guess I actually wasn't normal before. Although Jessica is wondering what's causing all my mood swings lately.

Thursday wasn't a podcast, mostly caused by my ill health. My ill health is pretty much sorted now so I'm probably not as be-plagued anymore. Instead there were mostly announcements about my short stories and a very short review of Batman: The Dark Knight Rises, which I'm now about to make even shorter. Pretty good, don't get why it's getting so much hate. Because I was ill I decided to get around to watching it at long last. I actually watched Batman Begins again on Friday too.

Friday was a post on my latest therapy session which wasn't so grand due to my illness at the time but basically I don't have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and she seemed thoroughly pleased I would be releasing a book soon and informed me that was actually our second to last session and said that even if I didn't really see it (which I kind of did really) my social anxieties are way down. I still have some problems, but counseling would be a better fit for those and I don't think I'm too likely to take it if I'm honest.

Saturday I didn't have an Immortal Space update and made a very long post about that fact. I also challenged you guys to come up with the two plot holes that were in the story. No one did get them, but Fang brought at least one more to my attention on Twitter. The two I know of are this: ONE: We never did learn who shot Trent down at the start. They were just there then completely forgotten about. Though there is a reason to that I'll tell you some other time. TWO: Trent made a bet with Geoff where if he won, he would get a date with Geoff's sister. Geoff is an orphan without siblings, and has NO sister. This, again, can be fixed in editing. The space pirates will be dealt with and as for Geoff's sister, well, he was adopted by Doctor Osbourne and so Osbourne's children are his brothers and sisters. Two plot holes revealed, and there, they're fixed.

Sunday was an actual Immortal Space update in which we got a little more insight in to Trent's past. DWei asked me how far along in the story we were, and wanted some specifics like a percentage. I would say we're 85% in to the story now. There are 10-15 updates left, depending on how long I can drag things out. While I can say that what I have planned could never be done as short as that, I've managed to fit a lot in to the 40-ish posts there have been on it, so I'll have to see how it actually goes, but there is only one really big storyline left after some more reveals. Look forward to it.

And that's that. Enjoy your week folks.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Dialogue Free Update

I do indeed have an Immortal Space update for you, and it is indeed free of dialogue. I felt that it wasn't really necessary and part of me didn't want to give a voice to characters who would only make one appearance. Also it may be slightly inspired by my recent Batman binge, but I'm still happy with how it ended up.

P.S Trent is INSANE. Or he really seems to be.
After Trent had escaped the military base he decided to travel the world for a while. Part of him wanted to go home immediately, to confirm what the army had told him about Taliah, but another part of him was afraid to confront the truth. The latter part was larger, and it won out. As far as any official records were concerned he himself was dead and so it didn't matter where he went or what he did and he felt truly free to do anything he wanted.

    For the first few months he just wandered around the desert the base had been in. It was well out of the way and was only accessible by helicopter and there were none at the base. If he had been more aware of the world, and not so lost in despair, he may have considered that the first sign that someone had either paid a visit to the base after his rampage, or survived it somehow. He barely had access to food and water for a few months as he dragged himself across the desert. Even as his body wasted away he was able to still stumble across until he eventually collapsed and didn't wake up a few weeks later when someone came across his body. They thought he was dead but a quick check told them that despite his lack of movement he was breathing, and his heart was beating. They forced water down his throat and he snapped awake. He stayed with his saviours for a few weeks while he built his strength back up. He discovered he was in the Middle East, where he had been stationed in the war. Thankfully for him the people he were with spoke some English and soon he was able to walk under his own power and thanked them before going to leave. He promised he would pay them back somehow when he could.

    As he was leaving the village he saw that a stall keeper was being harassed by a small group of people. Trent told them to leave the vendor alone and they turned around and threatened him, pulling out knives. Trent assumed a fighting stance and rushed them. He wasn't as strong as he had been in the army, having lost a lot of muscle mass in the desert, but he was still strong enough to beat people who were untrained and relied on fear more than muscle. When Trent had finished with them he learned they were part of a much larger gang that were terrorising the entire village and were the main reason it was so poor. Trent knew how he could pay back the kind people who had helped him, and set off to do it. He ignored their warnings and their pleas that he not go and tried to reassure them that he would be fine. He thanked them one last time, saying that they may not see him again as he planned to move on as soon as he took out the gang as that would draw attention and he wanted to stay dead for a while longer. They didn't quite understand what he meant, and said that they would pray for his safety. They also gave him some supplies of water and food should he survive.

    Trent set off in to the desert once more for a much shorter trip. Within an hour he had found his way to what looked like a mercenary camp. Things began to make sense to him as he realised what must have happened. The army had resorted to hiring mercenaries and with the war over, they would have been out of work and so would have been driven to do anything they could for money. Being the “liberators” of a country also tended to give people a sense of power over the people of that country, even if it wasn't earned. He knew the people he had beaten up earlier would have returned and reported about him by now so he didn't bother trying to hide or sneak in and walked bravely, or perhaps foolishly, in to the middle of the camp past all the mercenaries who were too caught up in disbelief that someone had just walked in to respond. He declared that either they would stop what they were doing, and move on, or he would stop them. This caused a few of the mercenaries to laugh and eventually the entire camp was filled with the sound of laughter as the leader stepped forward and punched Trent in the face. He reeled from the shot but didn't move from where he was stood and turned back to look in to the eyes of the leader, cold determination showing in his own eyes. He repeated his demand but this time no one laughed at him. Instead he felt a bullet pierce his back. He grunted in pain and the leader smirked down at him, but once again he didn't move from where he was stood and continued to stare at the leader. The leader's smirk faded quickly as he punched Trent again, this time harder. Trent just continued to not react, and stare instead at the leader. He was giving them a taste of a weapon they were all too familiar of using; fear. The leader knew that before him stood a man who could not be frightened and if given half a chance would not hesitate to kill everyone in the camp. He had a choice between leaving in peace, or not giving Trent the chance.

    He chose the latter, and would not live long enough to regret his decision.

    A short time later, after Trent had finished taking care of the mercenaries, he continued on his way towards a much larger city the people in the village had told him about. They told him that when he got there, if he was lucky enough to make it, then he could find his way to the capital city and from there go to the airport and return to America. Trent planned to go to the airport, but had no plans to return to America just yet.

    Back in the mercenary camp a few villagers had been brave enough to dare to check on what had happened. They got there and when they saw all the bodies they rushed back to the village and soon enough everyone from the village was there. They looked everywhere but they couldn't find the body of Trent and were forced to assume that by some miracle Trent had made it out alive and was headed home. They spent the night, and the next day, celebrating their freedom and the brave hero who they never did learn the name of.

I think I have one more flashback chapter planned because there's an important plot point to be revealed in one of them, and then we're back in the real world and moving towards the grand finale. Don't worry though, I plan to drag out the end.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Well I Said It Probably Wouldn't Happen

...And it didn't happen I'm afraid. There's no Immortal Space update, at least for today. I don't know if I can get one out for tomorrow I guess it depends on how I feel. But there is some good news to be taken away from this. If I do get my last short story edited by the end of the week then it means I can focus all my writing time next week to Immortal Space and hopefully churn out more than one update and maybe bring us back in to the real world, and the present.

I'm a little surprised no one has wondered in the comments, or asked me, just where Trent woke up.

I have no Caspian update or anything else either so there's no real writing to be displayed here right now beyond these words that you're reading right now. How did I know you were reading these words right at this second? Lucky guess.

Nah just kidding, I'm totally psychic.

Anyway, yes, no IS update, no update of any kind really, but hopefully there will be one tomorrow. If there isn't, then hopefully there will be two next week.

Cut me some slack, I'm ill, and trying to finalise a book. When the short stories are done the plan is to focus all my attention in to IS and get it finished within the next few months, and then I'll probably spend a month or so editing it and adding things and taking things out before publication of that too. If all goes well maybe I can release not one, but two books this year.

Instead of an update I have a little game for you. There are TWO plot holes in Immortal Space, that I have counted. See if you can remember them. They were fairly close to the start and are very easily written away. I just wonder if anyone has that good a memory.

Also my ability to make a post out of being unable to make a post never ceases to amaze me.

Friday, 8 February 2013

Therapeutically Late

Well I told you yesterday that this post would be late becuse it is about my latest therapy session. So, I guess you're not too surprised it's late. Unless you missed yesterday's post that is I guess.

My session was slightly hampered by the fact I still have a cold but thankfully it's not too bad. I'm able to think and move properly now I'm just not able to really talk properly. I am however going to have to sit in the library for two hours while I wait for a pick up because I couldn't muster the strength to walk home. Well anyway, back to the session. It went pretty well considering my plague. She had me fill out a little questionnaire that informed her I don't have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from what happened ten years ago, and I'm not too surprised. It was ten years ago and I didn't really react much then. I don't talk about it, but I don't really have flashbacks or nightmares or anything.

We actually really didn't talk about much new, she said that even though I had found myself crying uncontrollably three times this past week she felt that they were ordinary responses because of what I was crying about. Mostly that stress got to me, and I was dealing with it normally and it's nothing to be worried about.

She did inform me of something I found quite surprising though. This was session number ten, and that means it was the last session. Sort of anyway, as we have one more next week to sort of tie everything together and see what needs to be done now. If I feel I need more therapy, then more can be arranged. To be honest I'm pretty anxious about that, and I told her as such. What with the cold I couldn't really tell her everything as to why but the basics are that even though I have much less social anxiety, and I have come a long way in that department, I'm still depressed and lately I seem more unstable than ever. I still have problems and issues I need to work through, but I think counselling might be a better fit for those.

Still I do know I have made progress though and I am becoming a better person. I mean, in just a few weeks I'll almost definitely be releasing a book which means I'll be free from a lot of the stresses in my life and I'll have achieved something she feels is a pretty big deal (although personally I am of course downplaying everything) and I'm actually feeling hope about the whole situation. I haven't genuinely felt hope since I wrote the stories in the first place, and then had it all crushed. Part of me thinks that if I do a good enough job with the Caspian stories then actually I could have a whole series of adventure novels. I could have my own Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl.

Although, of course, I don't dream of reaching such heights. Just having enough to live on would be more than enough.

I really don't need to make much from the stories, because as soon as I make any money at all from them I'll be free from the clutches of the loathed job centre and technically I'll be unable to sign on again until I stop selling and recieving money from it.

It actually feels kind of weird to feel hope, and know that it's genuine. By working hard, as I have, I am escaping my own personal Hell.

Now, I just need to stay out of it.

Oooooh, that's good. I should put it in a story somewhere.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Not Feeling Well

To cut a long post short there is no podcast today because I am, as mentioned in the title, not feeling well. I've not slept too well these past few days and because the house (especially my room) is not insulated properly it's all built up in to a rather nasty cold. A lack of inactivity and rest is going to exacerbate this further too.

I do, however, have some news for you that I would have otherwise shared in a podcast. I have nearly finished editing my short stories. One of them is taking a little longer than expected because I had to swap it from first person to third person because it was the only way to make it work. It was written in the first person and the present tense, and I absolutely fail at the present tense and it made no sense because I kept swapping tenses. I thought I would have to scrap it entirely but then I got the idea to just swap perspectives so I could make it entirely past tense and now it makes sense again. Once this one is edited there is only one more story to go. I'm hoping to be done by the end of the week and then I'm going to leave them alone next week, and read through them once more the week after. I think I'm beginning to get a much better grasp on this whole waiting game, and the way writing is supposed to work. While it may be impressive I wrote all those stories in a week, they suffered in quality for it. While it's not bad at all to churn out a 5000 word story in a day, it's worth going back and looking over it later. Especially as my writing skills have improved. Actually yesterday I was reading something by one of the best authors I know and instead of thinking to myself "I wish I could write like this" like I normally would I thought to myself "Hey, I can write like this". It was quite a shock to the system to not only think of myself as a good writer, but to look at someone else's work and think I could do something on par with it. I have grown as a writer, even if I've not really seen it. When I take the time, and I'm doing something I enjoy, then I make an effort to make something special. Well anyway, when I'm done looking over them again, if I'm pleased with them, then I'll deem them ready for publication. I think you can expect them to be published by the end of next month.

Although, given how ill and potentially delirious I am, I wouldn't really take me on my word right now.

In other news because I was sick I stayed in bed and watched The Dark Knight Rises at long last. Other than Bane's voice, and how they messed with his history and character, I don't see why I've seen people say it's a bad movie. It was pretty awesome in my view and while it's not my favourite of the Nolan Batman films (that's still The Dark Knight) I thought it was pretty good. I wasn't too happy with the eight year time skip and a few other things, but on the whole it was a good movie. To me anyway, I've seen other people pan it and call it bad.

Also I may not have an Immortal Space update this week given how ill I'm feeling. I'm going to see how I feel and try. It may be on Sunday instead of Saturday if there is one at all. As well as this my post tomorrow is going to be super late because I have a therapy session so I better be in better shape by then. I don't think I have to go out anywhere today so I can veg out in bed and watch ponies and movies all day too. Oh and edit my stories I guess. 

Of course though, the best news I heard yesterday was that Friendship is Magic has been renewed for a fourth season that's going to be a full 26 episodes long.
My actual reaction
Also I have a fun fact for you, because I love fun facts: I think my first story, The Spirit, is better written than most of Immortal Space. It seems I actually managed to devolve as a writer. My personal guess on the matter is that I stopped caring so much about what makes a story good, and I'm beginning to see that again. It's even better written than my short stories.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Feeling Melancholic

I just completed a video game called Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning that I've spent over sixty hours playing, and it left me feeling pretty contemplative and melancholic. While I may be talking about how I felt after playing a video game, I think this post will still be relatable because I think that all of us, at one point or another, have had something we put a lot of time in to end. It's just that most people feel this way after relationships, not finishing video games. I decided that because I was feeling melancholic, I would just jot down my thoughts.

This is hardly the first time I've spent so long on one game. That tends to happen when you play a lot of RPG's. I didn't even feel like this after finishing all three Mass Effect games one after the other, and that was over 100 hours of gameplay. I've completed a few Final Fantasy's in my time too and I spent two years plus on World of Warcraft. I never really found myself feeling anything other than joy and relief that I had finished them. If anything I felt pretty good to have completed something I spent such a long amount of time on. I think that's something else other people can relate to.

It's like...that was sixty hours of my life. I had a lot of fun playing the game, and I hardly think it was wasted time or effort (time spent having fun is never wasted) but I don't know, I just don't feel right. I haven't been feeling right for days though if I'm honest. Last Saturday I almost snapped and cut my ponytail off (I didn't do it by the way, the moment passed). I'm so glad I was out shopping at the time or I would have grabbed a pair of scissors and probably done it. Then I almost had another breakdown while sat in my room. Doing nothing.

If I've become so fragile that I can't even sit alone in my room without wanting to cry then what the hay is wrong with me?

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

About A Story

So last Saturday I posted the prologue to an entirely new story that I'm hoping to be working on, and said that all the details would come in a later post. This would be that post. First of all, I plan on writing Immortal Space and this at the same time. I also expect I'll be dedicating more time to Immortal Space than to Caspian. That's not an actual title or anything by the way, just a way to identify the story.

I hope this doesn't end up like my other other story The Spirit, which is something I was actually writing before I started writing Immortal Space. I actually can't even remember how The Spirit came about anymore. The Spirit is a fantasy adventure, Immortal Space is a sci-fi, and Caspian is an adventure about a pirate. As for how the story itself came about, well that's something I'll address now. I was talking to Jessica about my short story collection and she told me to consider writing something more mainstream and she jokingly suggested a pirate romance novel where the only thing bigger than the bulge in the pirate's tights was the heaving bosom of his wench. While we did have a good laugh at that, the pirate idea did stick. My mind did what it always does when someone suggests something to me; it started tossing it about and seeing what it could come up with. After not a very long time at all I had the basic idea for what I wanted to write as well as a brief summary of the beginning. All I really need is a grand adventure for Caspian to have, a comely wench for him to rescue, and several curs for him to fight. Still as it begins with his childhood and moves through his teen years before he finally becomes a pirate, I think I have the time to wait until then.

I think that with this, Immortal Space may actually be the third book I release. Jessica told me to write something that would sell, rather than something that I wanted to write. So I tried to combine the two ideas as I've always loved pirates, and would have enjoyed writing a story where essentially I was living the life myself.

As it's a piracy book, it's set some time in the 1600s, which means I'll probably have to do some annoying research and fact checking, so expect that to put me off writing it, just like it did for The Spirit. Sometimes those necessary steps are annoying as all Tartarus.

They are necessary though, I guess.

Lastly I want to add that this is not something I'll be posting on here week to week like Immortal Space. I'm writing this when the mood takes me and I'm treating this like a full on real novel. I posted the introduction to give you some writing of mine and to, well introduce you to the story. I don't like the idea of telling someone to buy something like a book without giving them an idea of what they're getting.

Fun fact: I spent over an hour coming up with his name, that's how serious I am about this story.

Monday, 4 February 2013

Busy Times Ahead

I really am in for some busy times now. Tomorrow I have to go in to town to do some things, and I'll probably be up there for a few hours (at the least) and on Friday I have therapy which means being in town again for a few hours and next Monday I have yet another busy day in town including a dentist visit. If that wasn't enough things are going to be busy at home too as I've almost finished editing my short stories, and I think I'm going to start editing Immortal Space too. I have 47 "chapters" to go through, so I can make a start before the story is actually finished itself. That's going to take a few months yet. If I'm still alive by the end of these two weeks, well then I'll probably release my short story collection. Like I said when they're done I'm probably going to have Fang read them (okay you can have a space in the sidebar with how much I mention you) but I'm also considering having someone remotely professional read through them too. Then they'll give me their honest opinion that the stories suck and are terribly written, I'll get depressed and cry for a bit, and they'll never be released. This also means I'll have to wait until the end of next week when I have the money to do so. Although if Fang says they're publishable then published they shall be! Just possibly under a pseudonym in case things go wrong and I have to retry the whole "be an author" thing.

Well, anyway, have yourselves a merry little round up.

Tuesday was a post about things I've posted about more than enough; the prospect of holding down a job and how much even looking for one is damaging me, let alone actually having one. Part of me is getting back to the short stories so I can finish them, release them, and just walk in to the job centre one last time and say "I don't need your money, your contempt, and your passive aggression. I'm a published author now. Screw you guys, I'm going home. To write". There really are no words to describe the amount of joy that would give me. Until then I can appreciate slowly losing my mind.

Wednesday was a post about something a friend of mine recently asked me where she asked me first of all if I get scared I'll never meet "the one" and then she asked me if I ever get lonely. The answer to the first question was "no", as I do not believe there to be a time limit on such a thing, and I don't believe I have the capacity to truly love. The answer to the second was "yes" because everyone gets lonely sometimes. My loneliness flared up a little over the past week even but meh, I'm a big girl. I know how to end the loneliness if I really want to. I figure if I really wanted to, I would have done so by now.

Thursday was the latest edition of my podcast. You'd think after this long it would at least have a name. Well anyway what was discussed included my most recent therapy session, and how I opened up about something, and some of my thoughts on the writing process. Oh, I remembered what I talked about with writing now. I went and wrote a fanfiction. A fanfiction that has, at the time of writing, 688 views, 47 upvotes, and 37 comments. Which is legitimately more than anything I've ever written. So I don't mind so much that I did it. It was quite the ego boost so many people read and enjoyed it. Also included at the end is me singing a song. Even though I said I was never going to sing again in a podcast, I've been thinking a lot about trying it again. Don't ask me why, I don't know why I would subject you, my slightly less loyal subjects, to such audio torture.

Friday was an incredibly emotional post in which I answered the question "so, just what's wrong with you?". My therapist asked me to write down what I feel are the biggest problems in my life right now, and so I decided to post what I had written. Because I like to make my insanity public. Those problems are as follows:
That I've used and manipulated to people a lot, even if I wasn't aware I was doing it at the time (yes that's possible) it still doesn't change how I feel about the fact I did it.
My sexuality, which is as ambiguous as ever and possibly non-existant
My lack of motivation and drive, which is fueled by my depression, which is caused by the aforementioned things, and possibly some more.

Saturday was NOT an Immortal Space update because I hadn't written one, having spent all my week editing (and adding to) short stories and writing fanfictions about technicolour ponies. However after gentle nudging from Fang (see you got mentioned AGAIN) I decided to write one on Saturday instead. However on Sunday I posted the prologue to a new story I plan on working on in my spare time, that so far has no title. It's about a boy called Caspian Crenshaw who dreams of becoming a pirate. More details about that story coming up tomorrow.

Sunday was the Immortal Space update that I did indeed manage to write on Saturday. It's another look in to a bit more of Trent's past. I think we can have one or two more of these, then a bit more plot and potentially filler, and then we move on to the final storyline. Wheeeeee! Look at me, teasing things all over the place.

And that was my week. I hope you had a good one, and have a good one this week too.

Something tells me I may not have such a good week.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Speculation Abound!

I did indeed write an Immortal Space update yesterday, so I do have one for you right now. It's a little shorter than most of my usual updates but I think there's still plenty in it. Plus it causes a lot of speculation. I wrote it in the middle of a depressive time, so I'm not sure how well written it is, I personally hope "not too bad." Anyway, have your update.
As Trent continued to cry his mind continued to wander, opening mental blocks he didn’t even know he had placed. He thought about his days in the military and how he had proven to be a rather efficient soldier. His aim was spot on and with his determination he pushed himself further and harder than any of the other recruits. It was like he was born to be a soldier, and was just doing everything his body told him to do. While his prowess had attracted a lot of positive attention it had also garnered a lot of negative attention. He stuck out too much and soon enough he was made a part of a secret black ops section that focused on stealth and assassination. He was trained to expand upon his already existing abilities and taught how to use them more covertly. After a few years of successful operation after successful operation he was invited to the base by his superiors and asked to become part of the super soldier program. When he heard what they wanted to do to him he had initially disagreed and said he didn’t want to be a part of it. They were able to coax him in to doing it through a mixture of reassurance that if it succeeded the war would be over quicker, and he could return to Taliah, and threats that if he didn’t do it, something could happen to her before the end of the war ever came about. Because of his success he had been allowed to return home a few times but even when he was at home his superiors were still watching him. They were watching for weak spots; ways to manipulate him. They had found one in Taliah, who was always upset he was never home for good, but managed to be supportive eventually. She was still insisting she would never forgive him if he never returned for good, and they knew that had eaten away at him. Instead of agreeing he simply punched his commanding officer in the face and walked out, threatening that anyone who dared to hurt Taliah would suffer a similar fate. Being a member of a covert group meant that he wasn’t likely to be court martialled for anything he did, but he was surprised he received no punishment at all for his actions.

A few days after the incident he was asked to return to headquarters again, but he wasn’t worried something was going to happen. If they were going to punish him they would have already done it, so he thought it was time for another job, or another attempt at getting him to sign up. He didn’t realise how right he was, as well as how wrong he was at the same time.

This was when the trip in the elevator he had told Geoff about had happened. By the time he had smelled the gas in the elevator it was already too late to do anything about it and he could only struggle for a few seconds before he passed out. He remembered everything that had happened after that too. How he had learned that Taliah had died anyway, and what they had done to him. He hadn’t told Geoff but he also remembered some things from the few months the experiments were taking place. It was mostly waking up screaming in pain and wondering when his body would just give out on him and let him die. He remembered that at one point he had actually heard one of the scientists remarking how amazing it was that he still hadn’t died. He also remembered that at one point one of them had said that there was something wrong, something off, about him. He tried his hardest to remember that particular moment but all he could really remember is that this occurred shortly before the experiment had been declared a success and he had been woken up at long last and freed himself.

Thinking back he realised that even though he had found out a lot of information about the liquid he had been submerged in, and about the experiments themselves, all of his own personal records and any records involving him had been deleted from the system. He hadn’t thought about it much at the time but he couldn’t help thinking about it now with all of these thoughts swimming around in his head. If they had left the research notes then it meant that either they had just not kept any information about him, or someone had deleted it. He didn’t think they hadn’t been keeping any records on him or he wouldn’t have heard a scientist saying there was something wrong with him.

“Just what was in those files?” Trent thought to himself.

Also, I read up what happened earlier in the story so hopefully I've not opened up any plot holes. Feel free to tell me if I have.


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