Saturday, 26 January 2013

Prepare Thy Crybone

For I am about to break it. Even though I had written out an update for Immortal Space I had wanted to rewrite it and turn it in to two updates. I didn't get around to doing it though until last night when I had a brilliant idea. I could turn that one update in to several by branching off. See I wanted to put off an event in the story and so I thought this would be a good time to get a look in to Trent's past. Who doesn't love a good flashback? With how much anime I watch you'd think I would remember to use flashbacks to extend a story.

Although, actually, I generally hated flashbacks so I think that has been part of the reason I didn't think to use them myself.

Anyway, enjoy! Or don't. But actually I am kind of proud of how this turned out.

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Trent stirred in to consciousness, but kept his eyes closed. He could feel something soft underneath him and was trying to remember what had happened before he had passed out.
    “Okay, we were on a really big job, me and Geoff.” He thought to himself. “We were trying to take out some real big shot, called himself Steven. Wait, Steven…Geoff…Steven…”
“GEOFF!” he both thought and shouted at the same time as he shot up and opened his eyes as he remembered what happened to Geoff. When his eyes adjusted to the light he looked around and saw that he wasn’t in Steven’s office anymore. It looked almost like a bedroom. He looked down and saw that instead of being on top of an unconscious Steven, he was in fact on a bed. He was trying to work out what happened but he just couldn’t get what had happened out of his head. He had been so sure that no matter what came along he would be able to take care of, and protect, Geoff. He was even beginning to think that Geoff was more capable of taking care of himself than he thought, or would like to admit. He liked having someone to protect and help out. “It helps me deal with what happened…to you…” he thought as he subconsciously ran his hand over the scar on his chest. He had a perfect body, able to heal any wound, but the one that was left by what he did to himself. He hadn’t been thinking about it much lately and the guilt of that, as well as the guilt he felt over what happened to Geoff, caused him to cry softly to himself.

His mind drifted back to that days, five hundred years ago. A lot of his life was a blur, as there was so much of it, but some moments he remembered in perfect clarity.
“I’m going Taliah and that’s the last word on the matter.” Trent said to a young woman with long black hair and a stern expression on her face. The war had been going on for a few years at this point but Trent had refused to sign up. He didn’t want to fight someone else’s battle, or for a cause he didn’t believe in. When the fighting and the damage started to leave the battlefield and the war came too close to home for Trent he decided to do something about it and go to fight for Taliah’s safety. He couldn’t risk losing the one thing that made him truly happy and gave his life meaning. He had just told her of his plans, and she wasn’t really happy about them.
“You don’t have to go Trent! Why can’t you stay here?” Taliah replied.
“I can protect you better from there than I can here. I’d do anything to protect you Taliah.” He said as he tried to hug her. She batted his hand away, not wanting to be held by him.
“Then stay here you idiot. You could do a lot more for me here.” She said. The expression in her eyes softened and she hugged Trent, crying in to his chest.
“Just stay, please. Please Trent don’t go and leave me on my own.” She said between tears.
“It’ll be over soon, Taliah. I’ll be back before you know it.” Trent leaned down to kiss the top of Taliah’s head as he spoke.
“What if you don’t come back Trent?” Taliah asked.
“I’ll be back Taliah. I wouldn’t let anyone keep me from you, or any thing for that matter. I’ll be back soon.” He tried to reassure her.
“Do you promise, Trent?”
“I promise Taliah. Nothing in this world could keep me from you. At the first sign of trouble I’ll tell my superiors where to stick it and come back to you if you really need me to.”
“But I need you to not go in the first place, don’t you get that?”
“I told you that you’ll be safer with me over there.”
“Well I don’t believe you.” Taliah said with a huff.
“I think I’m right, and if I’m wrong, I promise I’ll come straight back.”
“Okay, I believe that.” Taliah said, resigned. “But I mean it mister, if you don’t come back I’ll never forgive you.”
“Well then I’ll most definitely come back.” Trent said with a smile.
“Oh? Why is that then?” Taliah asked as she looked up at Trent curiously.
“I don’t know how I’d live with the thought of you hating me.”
“Oh silly Trent,” Taliah said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I said I’d never forgive you, not that I would hate you. I could never hate you.”
“That’s good then.”
“Don’t take that as a sign that it’s okay if you don’t come back. I’d still be mad, and I still wouldn’t forgive you. I just wouldn’t hate you.”
“Well I don’t leave for a few days anyway, so why don’t we manage to have a bit of fun? We won’t be able to have any together for a while.”
“And what did you have in mind, soldier boy?” Taliah asked with a sly look.
“Well I just got a great new game and I was hoping we could play it together.” Trent said with a chuckle as he jumped on the sofa.
“Idiot!” Taliah shouted at Trent.
“Idiot that you love, right?” Trent asked as he looked back at her. She could never stay mad at that face.
“Yes, the idiot that I love.” She said as she sat down beside him and cuddled up to him.
“I love you too Taliah.” Trent said as placed an arm around her.

“Oh Taliah.” Trent thought to himself as he continued to cry. “Do you forgive me yet?”
----------------------------------------------------
My reaction while writing this. If it invoked an emotional reaction from me, the writer, it has to be good. Right?

6 comments:

  1. >flashbacks
    N-n-nooooooooo

    Looks like you're missing a couple of commas in your dialogue here and there, and they say each other's names an awful lot.

    Also, try this CSS code to get rid of that white behind the image:
    .tr-caption-container { background: none; color: whitesmoke; border: none; }
    Leave out the "border: none;" if you want to keep the border, obviously. ;D

    Though I really want to know what happened to Jeff/Geoff, it was a nice chapter. Kind of vague, because we're still missing a lot of necessary information, but that adds to the flair of the chapter.

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  2. as long as you dont flashback in flashback...or get carried away i am fine with them...they give the characters depth and unveil new intel on them as well...i like the playfulness between them...i dont know your characters well enough yet having joined in late in the game but not a bad chapter at all...

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  3. Yeah,it is sweet.
    But kinda vague like Fang said,we'll have to wait for you to flesh out the characters!And Taliah...just one 't' and she'd be me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is sop beautiful Mark, the death of Geoff hit me for six and this was a nice continuation, cute stuff mate.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am loving the new great pink butterflies blog look! I thought I'd gone to someone else's blog! But no!!

    Taliah and Trent - now what's 500 years when love is involved!?!? !! Poor Geoff! Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  6. not a single tear was shed, are u even trying

    jk

    ReplyDelete

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