Saturday, 8 December 2012

That Awkward First Date

I didn't get any more Immortal Space written this week but the good news is I wrote two updates last week (how well did that turn out for me?) so there is an update. It's the start of Geoff's date with Lisa which may quell the gay rumours. By the way, after several nights of being up at two AM because I couldn't shut my brain off, I think I've managed to work out everything story-wise. Now to hope it makes sense
“Hey, you made it!” Lisa said when she saw Geoff approaching. She was wearing a beautiful sundress that was pure white with a yellow trim and a bow tied around her chest. When Geoff teared his gaze away from her clothes and to her face he saw that her blonde hair was tied back with a ribbon and she had a flower in her hair, white, like her dress. Geoff couldn't help but stare until Lisa came up to him and poked the side of his head.
    “Don't space out on me now, boy. I expected to do a bit more today than just stand here and watch you watch me. Or is that really all you wanted to do?”
    “I, err, I wanted to do more, of course.” Geoff managed to say after stuttering over his words at first. “I just didn't expect you to be” he started before drifting off and staring again.
    “So, what?” Lisa said, crossing her arms and looking stern. “What didn't you expect me to be?”
    “So beautiful.” Geoff said, with a smile. Lisa, however, was not smiling.
    “You didn't expect me to be beautiful? I'm hurt.” she said, pouting and looking at her feet.
    “No, no, no, no it's, it's not that.” Geoff said, stuttering again and rubbing his hands into his head as he was trying to stay in the moment and escape it at the same time. “I always thought you were beautiful, from the moment I saw you, honest.”
    “Really? You mean that?” Lisa asked bashfully.
    “Really!” Geoff said, a little too enthusiastically. “Really, I mean it.” he repeated, calming down.
    “Just as I thought!” Lisa said, laughing. Geoff couldn't believe what he was seeing and was clearly confused.
    “Huh? Wha?” he tried to say.
    “Nothing, don't worry about it.” Lisa said, taking a hold of his hand and starting to walk. “Come on, we've got plenty to do today so let's just get started shall we?”
    “Wait, wait. What was all that about?” Geoff said as he walked quickly to keep up with her and avoid being dragged as he tried not to think about her hand in his. “You sure you're okay?”
    “Just fine sweety” Lisa said, cuddling up to him and putting one of his arms around her. “I just felt like messing with you a bit. I'm fine, so let's just enjoy our day, okay?”
    “Yeah, yeah, sure” Geoff said, squeezing her hand. “You had me a little worried there.”
    “I know.” Lisa said, stifling a laugh.

    “Did you see that?” Trent said, laughing as he watched Geoff and Lisa walk off.
    “You know this isn't really what I thought you wanted to do today.” Lena said. The two of them were in an alley near where Geoff and Lisa had met up and were watching them walk away. She was dressed how she usually did except she wasn't wearing her military jacket and instead had put on a regular one devoid of knives. She was stood with her hands in her pockets looking a lot less enthusiastic about the day than Trent was.
    “I know but what's a better day out than watching two kids in love try to have a good time?” Trent said.
    “We could have fun by ourselves.” Lena said, leaning against Trent. “I didn't know you were such a voyeur.”
    “I'm not, not really. I just think this is going to end hilariously for all not involved. As in, me and you.” he said. He put his arm around her which made her smile until he shouted “Onward!” and dragged her along with him. Lena decided to just go along with it, for now. She vowed to make him pay for it down the line though.

    “So what did you want to do today anyway?” Geoff asked Lisa, who by this point had taken Geoff's hat off and was playing with it by throwing it in the air and catching it.
    “Oh? I thought we'd just have a walk around first and then find somewhere to have some dinner and talk. That sound okay to you?”
    “Hey, it's a day out with you, of course it's good with me.”
    “I thought as much.” Lisa said, putting the hat back on Geoff. “So, why do you have the hat anyway?”
    “Trent and me both agreed it completed the look, so he said I could borrow it.”
    “What look would this be exactly?” Lisa asked, looking Geoff up and down. “Cowgirl?” Geoff stopped and spluttered and looked across to Lisa who he saw was smiling at her own joke.
    “I happen to think I look quite handsome today, thank you.” Geoff said, trying to sound dignified.
    “Oh me too.” Lisa said, mimicking Geoff's tone. “Why you'd be the prettiest little girl in the rodeo.” Geoff smacked himself on the forehead, which is no easy feat when you're wearing a hat.
    “Would you stop saying I look like a girl please?” He asked her.
    “Maybe when you stop looking like a girl.” Lisa replied, sticking her tongue out at him.
    “I am not a girl, and I don't look like one!” Geoff said, getting impatient.
    “I know sweety, I can tell that.” Lisa said, poking him in the chest. “Can you tell I'm a girl?” she Geoff. Geoff turned around to look at her, but then looked back and blushed because she was sticking her chest out. “No?” she said. “You want to poke my chest? I assure you I'm a girl. You want some proof?” she asked and started fidgeting with her dress.
    “No, no, I believe you, you can stop that.” Geoff said, taking a hold of her hand.
    “Awwww, I was looking forward to that.” Lisa said. Geoff made a small noise that sounded almost like a whimper. “Well actually you're right, I wasn't really going to do that.” she added, giggling. “But it sure was fun to see your face. Maybe another time, eh?” she said, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. “Boy your face is pretty warm. You running a fever?” Lisa asked and played with his face, pretending to examine it. “Well you've gone red, your face is getting pretty warm and it looks like your heart rate has gone up quite a bit” she said, placing a hand on his chest. “I'm not sure you're really well enough to be doing something like this.”
    “I'm fine, really.” Geoff said, eager for her to not cancel their date. “I'm just nervous, okay?”
    “I know, which is why I'm messing with you so much. Calm down, okay? You're doing fine.”
    “I'll try.” Geoff replied.
    “That's my boy” Lisa said, taking a hold of his hand again.

    “You know what's funny?” Trent asked Lena. They were walking behind Geoff and Lisa, trying to stay close enough to hear them but far away enough to not be heard by them.
    “How much time we're wasting trailing the kids when we could be doing something else?” Lena asked. She still wasn't too pleased about what Trent had dragged her in to.
    “Well, that too.” Trent said, pondering. “I was actually going to say that Lisa was right. The look I was going for with him today WAS cowgirl.” Lena tried to look serious but burst into laughter after a few seconds.
    “Okay that's pretty funny. You really did that?” she asked.
    “Pretty much.” Trent said. “I think he doesn't realise how I normally look.”
    “And how do you normally look?” Lena asked him, checking him out.
    “Really quite effeminate, don't you think? I mean, what kind of man wears boots like that?”
    “The kind of man I like.” Lena said, taking a hold of Trent's hands.
    “Well that explains why you're still single doesn't it?” Trent said. Lena hit him in the head. “I'm pretty sure the hitting thing contributes too. You should look into that.” he said before Lena hit him again. “Okay let's just move on shall we?” Trent let go of one of Lena's hand but held on to the other and started walking to follow Geoff and Lisa. Lena walked alongside him and placed a hand around his waist.

All FIX'D thanks to Fang. I have no idea how those mistakes even happened.


  1. Geoff is so sweet in an shy-boy kinda way...and this being my first Immortal Space chapter,I can't say any more!
    But you haven't updated the list in the Immortal Space tab...will ya please do that?

    1. Thanks. I've had a few people request that and I really should stop putting it off so I guess I should finally do it. Just got to fix a few things with this chapter however.

    2. Okay it's all updated. Enjoy!

  2. "Geoff said as he walked quickly to catch up to her and trying not to think about her hand in his."
    >catching up
    >while holding hands

    "except she wasn't wearing a jacket and instead had put on a jacket."
    okay what the what

    "Geoff turned around to look at her but"
    SO CLOSE (ie, maybe a comma after "her" may be appropriate?)

    Other than those few mistakes (I'm very disappoint, son), 'tis a lovely chapter. Trent and Lena are pretty cool, though Trent isn't as much of a gentleman as I thought he was.
    And Geoff and Lisa, eeeeeee <3
    (I may or may not have a fictional crush on Lisa already (she looks lovely, too))

    1. Fix'd

      Fix'd (No idea how the Hell that one happened. Srsly)


      Trent is a gentleman, and I shall prove it. He's just being a fun loving goof right now, and doesn't realise that Lena signed up for something totally different. Thanks for pointing out the many spectucular flaws. It's kind of odd that the other chapter was quite well written and this one wasn't seeing as I wrote them about half an hour apart. I'm not sure if someone having a crush on a character means I've succeeded or failed as a writer.

    2. Gentlemen always know (or at least have some sort of an idea of) what's going on with their lady. Trent right now, not a single clue in sight, no matter where you look.

      I think you've succeeded. Like, really fucking well.

  3. This is so awkward Mark, I love how this comes across, I love Geoff's nice thing about whatever they doing being fun with her, he's a good guy despite his eccentricities.

  4. Geoff is going to blow it with Lisa. At least Trent is there to give Geoff some romantic pointers. Perhaps that will help.

  5. I'm commenting from yesterday's post:

    Accepting praise is one of the hardest things for most people to do. I have a very hard time accepting praise and compliments even from my husband. I think it stems from low self esteem. I never have a hard time praising someone and actually meaning it. When I tell you you write well, I truly mean it. I think you digging in and going to counseling is great, keep up the hard work, Mark!!


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