Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Technically A Guest Post

This post is really kinda sorta technically going to be a guest post. Well, more half and half really. Fang was wanting some ideas from people for what to write and so I suggested that he write how he thinks a conversation between the two of us will go. We've had several conversations really so I'm not entirely sure how it ended up going how it did, but the end result was brilliant and he said that I could post it here if I wanted. Which, of course, I do. It's sort of slash fiction but everything stays in the pants. He also assures me he's straight, and I have no idea where he gets that idea from either. But joking about him being secretly gay, or just gay for me, is something we do. Anyway, enjoy.
'Hey Fang, wake up.'
I open my eyes and find Mark standing next to my bed. Well, technically it's not my bed, but it's occupied by me.
'Breakfast's almost ready.'
He's right. The smell of eggs and bacon fills the room. He left the door to my bedroom open. Well, technically it's not my bedroom, but his brother is out of the house for a few weeks, and one of those weeks happens to be the one in which I visit.
'You made breakfast?'
'Yeah, bacon and eggs.'

Not much later we're sitting at the kitchen table, eating the breakfast Mark so lovingly prepared. It isn't anything special to be honest, but at least the intention's there.
'So what are the plans for today?'
'I ordered tickets for a water bus to take us across Grand Union Canal.'
'Sweet! Good thing I charged my camera's battery last night, there's bound to be some great sights to see.'
'Last time I went there was when I was six, but I recall it being an enjoyable ride.'

We took the bus to the water bus. As it turned out, it wasn't much of a bus, rather a taxi of sorts. We were the only one to board.
'So you ordered a private ride? Heh. At least it gets rid of the annoying little kids running around everywhere.'
'I thought the ride would be more enjoyable this way.'
A little while later, we're on a broader part of the river, but still with parts of London visible left and right.
'Here,' I say, shoving my camera into Mark's hands. 'Take a picture of me striking a pose!'
I strike a silly pose, and Mark, though somewhat clumsily, takes my picture. 'You look fabulous!' he laughs.
I take the camera back from him and shove him closer to the edge of the boat. 'Your turn, pal!'
He strikes a silly pose, similar to mine, but makes the funniest face while doing so.
I laugh and gently pat him on his shoulder. 'That's the best face ever pulled in the history of face-pulling!'

We laugh together for a bit. I swing my arm around him, pull him a bit closer. 'Keep on smiling!' I hold my arm out, point the camera our way, and snap a picture.
The picture displays us, in that situation. Mark with a happy, but ever so slightly shocked expression on his face. Me, pecking his cheek.

...and that's where I stop. It's not really slash, but it's as far as I can go without ridiculing both of us instead of just myself. Mark, it isn't exactly what you requested, but I tried my best.

And of course, these are not real events, people are fictionally portrayed, yadda yadda.
~ Fang

What he doesn't realise of course is that this is a pretty accurate portrayal of how it would go. 
Because it's awesome. Although really I have no idea why either of us posted this.


  1. Now that was sweet Fang. A straight man who is confident in his sexuality is a hard thing to find and to have one as a friend is even harder.

    My son would try to turn you Fang.

  2. At least I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to joke about this kind of stuff. ;D

    So people, what do you say? Your new OTP y/n? Really shitty writing y/n?

  3. It's what friends can do with good friends.

  4. Personally I'm glad that you did post this Mark/Fang, love to see you making fun of your sexuality haha Fang, great stuff guys, love how Mark has a shocked expression etched on his face!

  5. I like this! I smiled whilst reading it. I was amused that this was labeled as 'true story'... Haha.

  6. I say, I love it, Fang! Great post and you just found yourself a new follower!

  7. Just the righ amount of homo eroticism

  8. I got offended at the point where Fang says bacon and eggs "aren't anything special." Bacon and eggs are friggin' awesome!

  9. Sounds like you two shared a lovely day together!

  10. Everything about that day was absolutely perfect... except for the breakfast. I would've much prefered bacon and bacon over bacon and eggs. Other than that, it was a splendid read!

  11. D'aw, that pony's so cute. :3


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