Sunday, 23 December 2012

I Said It Would Be Kawaii

And boy did I mean it. Parts of this were actually a little tough to write. Which makes me sound almost insane.

Okay, quite insane.

But the point is that I did indeed get it done. I was able to finish the chapter, and do such a good job of it that it just utterly refused to end and ended up running a little long. Though I did make you wait an extra day for it. Also fun fact time! In three or four more updates time, Immortal Space will be the length that Wikipedia defines as a "novel", as I will pass the 40,000 words mark. The word count right now is 35962 and each update is roughly 1-1.5k words.

Anyway, enough rambling, on with the show! PS Sorry in advance for any walls of text.
“I think they're gone.” Geoff said, looking over his shoulder.
    “You sure?” Lisa asked, looking back herself. “Yep, looks like it.” She agreed after checking for herself.
    “How stupid do they think we are?” Geoff asked.
    “How smart do you think YOU are?” Lisa replied, giggling.
    “Smart enough to know we were being followed, right?”
    “Sure, sure. Good boy you. Do you want a pat on the head?”
    “No thanks, I'm still wearing the hat.” Geoff replied, tipping his hat. Lisa took it off of his head and put it on hers and then patted Geoff on the head and ruffled his hair. Geoff looked at her and was going to take the hat back but he decided it looked better on her and just turned away. Lisa got the wrong idea and put the hat back on Geoff.
    “Sowwy” she said, pouting. “I won't do it again. Don't be mad” she added, kissing him on the cheek. Geoff flushed and put the hat back on her.
    “I'm not mad, I'm not” he said, panicking a little. “I thought it looked really good on you. Honestly.”
    “Then why did you turn away?” Lisa asked, smiling and pulling the hat down.
    “You looked way too sweet in it.” Geoff said. The pouting and the kiss on the cheek sure didn't help.” He added. Lisa giggled again and struck a little pose to show off. She went wide eyed and nibbled her index finger. She laughed again when she saw Geoff's reaction. It was a mixture of shock and embarrassment and he was going a little weak in the knees.
    “How's this?” She asked in the softest voice she could manage. Geoff shook his head, grabbed her hand, and started to walk off, taking her with him. “Hey, you okay?” Lisa asked him.
    “Fine, fine.” Geoff replied.
    “Then why do you seem so upset?”
    “I'm not upset.”
    “You aren't?”
    “Then why are you pulling me so quickly and holding my hand so tightly?”. Geoff stopped and held on to her hand less tightly.
    “Sorry,” he said. “I didn't realise I was, to be honest.”
    “It's okay.” Lisa reassured him. “You sure you're okay though?”
    “I'm fine, really.” Geoff said, smiling for good measure. “Why do you ask?”
    “You just seem a little off. Did I do something wrong?”
    “No, not at all. I'm just too nervous I guess.”
    “Too nervous for what?”
    “This.” Geoff said. He shut his eyes and pulled Lisa towards him, wrapping an arm around her. He leaned down and kissed her before she could tell him not to, or say anything at all. She put her arms around his neck and went a little limp in his arms. When he felt her go limp, Geoff held her closer, and tighter. Lisa pressed herself tight against Geoff and ran her fingers through his hair. It was over in half a minute or so but it felt a lot longer. When they broke apart Lisa leaned against Geoff's chest.
    “Where did that come from?” Lisa asked, softly but with a hint of amazement.
    “I have no idea.” Geoff said, with open amazement. “I really don't.” he added, beginning to drift off.
    “Hey, lover boy. Stay in reality.” Lisa said, tapping him on the cheek. Geoff shook his head to clear it and looked down at the girl using his chest as a pillow.
    “Let's just, err, move on shall we?” Geoff said.
    “Awwwww.” Lisa pouted, tracing her finger across Geoff's chest. “Do we have to? Where would we even go?”
    “Aren't you even a little hungry? I know I am.”
    “I am a little, I guess.” Lisa admitted. “But I know what will whet my appetite.” she added with a low purr.
    “Come on missy, we should get something to eat. We can go back to doing whatever when we're done.”
    “You mean that?”
    “Sure. Why not?”
    “Fine, but on one condition.”
    “What's that?”
    “This!” Lisa shouted and jumped on to Geoff's back. She put her arms around his neck and stuck her legs out around his sides. “Hi, ho Geoff, away!” she shouted, sticking her arm in the air and pointing in front of them. Geoff smiled, grabbed her legs to support her, and started walking in the direction she was pointing.
    “I have one tiny regret.” Lisa admitted while on Geoff's back.
    “What's that?”
    “That I'm already wearing your hat. Let's face it, it would have been much better for me to pull your hat off and put it on when I jumped on your back.”
    “You're right, it probably would have.” Geoff admitted, imagining the scene in his head. “Well you can't have everything I guess.”
    “Sure you can if you know how.” Lisa said. She leaned back a little, careful not to fall off and put Geoff's hat back on his head. She then pulled it off again and held it in the air before putting it back on herself.
    “Okay that wasn't quite as good as it should have been.” she said, a little disappointed.
    “Maybe not, but it was still fun wasn't it.”
    “That it was, dear boy. That it was.” Lisa replied, leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder.
    “Why did you jump on me anyway?” Geoff asked her.
    “You looked soft.” Lisa replied with a giggle. “Soft is good. Didn't you know that?”
    “I'm living in a cheap hotel. I've not been on anything soft in weeks.”
    “Am I not soft?” Lisa asked, pressing herself against him. “I think I'm soft.”
    “Keep that up and I'll drop you.” Geoff said.
    “No you wouldn't.” Lisa replied, poking Geoff's cheek. “You wouldn't drop me because I'd get hurt if you did. You don't want to hurt me now do you?” she asked, nuzzling his cheek for good measure. “You really wouldn't hurt little old me, would you?”
    “No, I guess not.” Geoff admitted with a slight bitter tone in his voice.
    “That's what I thought.” Lisa said, kissing his cheek. She let out a little gasp of surprise when he let go of her for a second before grabbing her again and pulling her back up.
    “Meanie.” she whispered to him as she held him tighter so she couldn't fall off. Geoff let out a laugh and leaned forward a little to make sure she was totally secure before continuing on.

Lisa kept her head on his shoulders while he walked and he thought she had fallen asleep but when he said that they had arrived at somewhere they could get something to eat she lifted her head up and hopped down from his back. Both of them looked a bit disappointed when she was off of him.
    “We should do that again some time. It was fun.” Lisa said. Geoff agreed and together the two of them entered the cafe they had managed to find themselves at. They went up to the counter and ordered their food and after Geoff paid they found somewhere to sit.
    “So how are things between you and your dad?” Lisa asked him when they were seated.
    “They're going fine.” Geoff replied. “Oh, and he's not my dad.” he added.
    “You sure?” Lisa asked, taking a sip of the tea she had ordered.
    “Pretty much. I think he'd remember something like having a kid, don't you?”
    “Guess so.” Lisa conceded. “It would be nice though if he was.”
    “What makes you say that?” Geoff asked, puzzled.
    “Well he seems like he'd make a pretty kickass dad. I wanted him to be my dad when we got married.” Lisa was glad Geoff wasn't drinking when she said that or he would have gotten it all over her with how he spluttered. She gave him a cute smile when she saw his eyes darting all over the place as he was clearly shocked.
    “Ma-ma-ma-what?” He managed to say.
    “Relax sweety.” She said, taking hold of his hands. “I was kidding, kidding. Though I do think that Trent would make a pretty cool dad. Maybe I can ask him to adopt me anyway.”
    “Huh? Adopt you?”
    “You ever wondered about my family?”
    “Yeah a bit but they've just never come up. What are they like?”
    “I'm just like you. My family is gone. Except I didn't have a badass cowboy come waltzing in to my life and show me the stars.”
    “I'm sorry to hear that.” Geoff said, looking a little sad.
    “Don't be.” she said. “It looks like maybe I could have someone come and show me the stars after all.” she added, resting her head on her free hand and looking in to Geoff's eyes.
    “Is he a badass cowboy?” Geoff asked.
    “When I'm not stealing his hat.” Lisa replied, and stuck her tongue out at him. The arrival of their food interrupted their conversation. The two of them ate in relative silence, choosing to wait until they were done to broach more serious topics again. Given the nature of what they were just talking about, it was kind of hard to make small talk. When they were done Geoff asked her what happened with her family. She said it was a conversation that would have to wait for another time. She was having a lot of fun with Geoff and she didn't want to ruin that. She promised that she would tell him though eventually. They started talking about other things instead. Geoff told her what Earth was like and about Doctor Osborne and how he had chosen to stay behind. Lisa couldn't believe someone would pass the journey up but she could understand his reasons. They continued to talk about Geoff and his past. He told her the story of their trip to the fight club where he had almost gotten his ass handed to him and explained that was one of the main reasons that he had started training with Trent. After an hour or so he had covered everything up to when they arrived on the planet itself. Lisa asked him if he was still studying the spaceship manuals and he said that he had less time to do it these days but he was still interested. Geoff went to the toilet and while he was gone Lisa checked the time and was shocked at how late it was.
    “I think it's time we headed home.” She said when Geoff got back. He checked the time himself and agreed.
    “Want me to walk you home?” Geoff asked her.
    “If you want.” Lisa said, smiling and grabbing his hand. “Just take me back to where we met up. I live at the place we met.”
    “That bar? You live there?” Geoff asked.
    “That a problem?”
    “Not at all. Just a little surprising. I don't mind where you live. All I really care about is that you're pretty damn awesome.”
    “Well that's sweet of you to say.” Lisa said. She jumped on his back again and pointed towards where she lived. “Now take me home!” Geoff laughed as he started walking towards where Lisa lived.
    “I had a whole lot of fun.” he said to her.
    “Me too. More than I've had in quite a while.” Lisa replied, nuzzling in to his cheek again.

Oooh according to (the people I paste to so it gets formatted properly) this update is exactly 1900 words long. For some reason their word count never matches the one Open Office gives me. Weird. A quick edit turned one giant wall of text into two fairly large walls of text. Best I could do I reckon.


  1. "Lisa took it off of his head and put it on hers"

    "Geoff flushed"
    It's probably my limited vocab, but shouldn't that be blushed?

    "Geoff said. The pouting"
    You missed a quotation mark, Mark.

    That first sentence of the second long-ass paragraph needs some punctuation, pal.

    Other than that, all's good. (Though you may want to read it over yourself some time, for better sentence building and shit.)
    Also, LisaxGeoff, OTP, all the way. They're so me if I wasn't stuck with my non-existent relationship status.
    Lisa seems to be a bit of a stereotypical kawaii gal or something, but she's adorbs nonetheless. <3

  2. I love this so much although I didn't see the slight punctuation mistakes that Fang did, Fang's an absolute boss of an editor.

  3. I thought Geoff was going to have a heart attack when she said she'd been married. And another when when she suggested that Trent adopt her.

    This was well done and the tenderness you put in was a nice touch Mark.

  4. You are very good at character development. Each of the characters seem to have a distinct and unique personality of their own that stays consistent throughout the story. It really clonks my bonkers when a character's personality keeps shifting throughout a story or a movie just because of lackluster writing.


Don't forget to subscribe to comments so you know if I say something back. If you want that is.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...