If I remember right I didn't do a podcast last week. In fact I have to go double check. It seems that yes, I did not. Two weeks isn't really a very good streak to have for something like this. So, what happened this week? Well it's partly that my dad felt that he should stay up as long as me and by the time I had privacy it was about 1 in the morning. I might be up at 1 but that doesn't mean I'm exactly coherent. Let this post, and every other post I write at one in the morning, be taken as proof of that. So that problem can be fixed by just recording these things in advance already. I used to record on Tuesday afternoons. Another thing is, of course, my crippling mental state. To be perfectly honest the reason that I sound so dull and monotonal and, most of all, apathetic, in a podcast is because that's how I cope with stressful situations. If I feel that something has become too much for me, my emotions shut down. It's not that I feel depressed, it's that I feel, well, nothing. When I have the confidence you end up with one of those rare gems where I'm happy and vibrant and right now I can't even make myself do an apathetic one. This is a slightly trickier problem to solve. If I feel, deep down, that I just don't have the confidence, then no amount of encouragement and gentle words are really going to do.
Not to mention today is Thanksgiving anyway. I think I'll be happy if I see any traffic. I do have some non-American readers though, so maybe I'll get something. I can use the holidays as an excuse to be lazy though, even if it's not particularly a holiday I recognise or celebrate.
Speaking of holidays I made a terrible, terrible mistake yesterday. I decided that I would try and wrap the Christmas presents I brought for people this year. I am pleased to report that I ran out of wrapping paper before I ran out of the will to live, and I don't intend to buy any more. On the positive side of Christmas though, I do have almost all the shopping done. The only people I have left to find something for is one of my older sisters, my brother, and my stepdad. I really hate just asking people what they want for Christmas though. I like there to be some surprise involved. Oh well, I'm sure I can find something.
I also really hope to have my university essay done by the end of the day. I'm going to be spending a few hours at my sisters so I'm just going to plug in the headphones, turn on the power metal, and crack me open some books.
If any Americanos do stop by, have a happy Thanksgiving. To you non-Americans, well you can still think of what you're thankful for. It's a good thing to do. Me? I'm thankful the Leprechaun in the corner giving me dirty looks isn't armed.