Friday, 16 November 2012

Live From Two Different Locations

I'm writing this live from the cafe I'm going to have dinner in, by myself at that. I'm kinda surprised I'm doing this because my day has gone really badly. I don't think I'll be walking home. I lost my wallet this morning (which did thankfully turn back up) and I was walking up the street to therapy when I realised I left my blue plastic wallet Suzy gave me at home so I had to walk back and get a ride up instead. Which meant I was stuck in traffic and a little late. I also ran into the girl who helped send me over the edge in the waiting room.

So, not a good start to the day.

The therapy itself went pretty well. My goals for this week are to do some cleaning, and do some writing. And my dinner just turned up so I'll have to finish later.

Okay I'm at the library so I'm going to finish up. Writing and cleaning aren't really related to my sociophobic problems but my depression and overall levels of stress and anxiety do keep me from performing basic household tasks and even pleasure tasks so they're still goals I can aspire to in this therapy.

Me and Suzy actually went out for a walk today. I knew that we would eventually do it but I wasn't realising it would be quite so soon and she didn't give me any warning. It went quite well except for one incident where we walked through a gang of youths but I was talking to her so tried to avoid really focusing on what happened. Other than that it was good and I have been trying to focus on the positive. Like getting writing done this week and cleaning up the kitchen. I actually felt worse with Suzy than I would on my own for a few reasons. Mostly it was that I didn't want to feel embarrassed. Like if I couldn't keep up, or if I got worn out. I know I have good stamina so I knew I would be fine, but it still bothered me.

I don't have a session next week, because she's fully booked up, but I do have one the Monday after next. So its ten days away, not seven. Its also going to be a double session. She wants us to go outside again, for a full hour. I don't think I could walk for a full hour so I'm hoping she'll let me buy her a drink. Of tea. She said she likes tea.

Anyway, I have no idea how long this post is because its being written on my phone so if you feel like I left something out, feel free to let me know and I can expand upon it.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device


  1. Idk how people can post from their phone. That would drive me crazy trying to type on my phone.

  2. Your therapy sounds like it's going really well. :)
    It's so hard to get motivated enough to clean. I usually put it off for months and months and months until eventually I break down and pull a Hyperbole & a Half-esque CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. So my house is spotless for maybe 4 or 5 days, 2 or 3 times a year.


  3. Huh, the comment above made me stop and think for a second. Posting from a phone, that's pretty impressive actually.

  4. First of all, my mind is blown that you posted that much from your phone. I can hardly make a comment from my phone!

    Second, you have some good goals. And can I tell you, while I was reading this I suddenly didn't feel alone. Does that make sense? You keep doing what you are doing. It sounds like you are on the right path!

  5. I love when you post from your phone Mark because I know it takes a lot of concentration and effort which makes it all the more often. I'm also proud of you for continuing to pursue your therapy, I find it brave that you're having food in a cafe by yourself, something I'd be terrified of doing, great post buddy and hopefully your session next Monday goes well, she seems like a real gem your psychologist, you guys have an awesome sounding relationship already and you haven't even been going that long.

  6. Is it wrong of me to giggle a bit at "pleasure tasks"? ;D
    But overall it doesn't sound like that bad a day. You shouldn't have felt embarrassed for something that didn't happen, and even if you did run out of gas, what would the problem be? I know people who can't even take a walk around the block without huffing and puffing.

    But did you really have to include the little "sent from my BB" message at the bottom? Couldn't you've just erased it? ;D

  7. Compared to everyone else's cool comments, mine is gonna sound dumb, but: walks are so much fun!

  8. Well, I would like more of an explanation about this girl who "sent you over the edge." We are kinda in the dark until we get the full story on that. (I don't think you've ever talked about it in detail, have you??)

  9. At least you can use your phone to write up posts. I need to either be at home to do blogging stuff or have a charged laptop with wifi.

    1. and so am I Dwei. but I've been trying to comment using my mobile :)

      Walking is great!

  10. I am really happy your therapy is going well. I love that you're going to dinner by yourself! I wish more people had the guts to do that because I know SO many who won't even dare to go to the movies by themselves because they're afraid to appear "loser" like if they're alone. Jesus.

  11. I'm lost about the girl who sent you over the edge too. I'll have to check previous posts for her, I may have missed it since I've been MIA the last week or so.

    I really do like Suzy's style with you, Mark. She is really challenging you, but doing it gently too, if that makes sense? I'm so proud of you!! Keep up the good work!!

    I think my son just pulled up from college, I need to cut this short....


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