Saturday, 3 November 2012

I Don't Know A Damn Thing About Male Bonding

It hit me as I was writing Immortal Space last night (that's right, I did do some writing this week, yay!) that really, I don't actually know anything about male bonding. I don't have many male friends, and none that I've really had any of those kinds of bonding rituals with. My best friend, even though I presumed she was a boy, was a girl pretending to be a boy, so I don't think she counts. I just found it kind of funny that I can write all of these bonding moments between Trent and Geoff, and yet have no real idea of how they really work, but it's still something I get praised on. Just seems like madness to me. Anyway, I said that I had written something this week, so I shan't disappoint.

“I met the greatest girl today” Geoff said as he entered the room and saw Trent laid on the bed staring at the ceiling.
“Really? What was she like?” Trent asked, sitting up and crossing his legs.
“Just...wonderful” Geoff said, fidgeting as he tried to find the words. Trent chuckled at him and rested his hands behind his head as he laid back down.
“Wonderful eh? Well, do we have a name for her at least?”
“I do” Geoff replied. “She's called Lisa and she's, well, wonderful.”
“As you previously mentioned kid” Trent said. “Well, you seem happy at least, so I'm glad. Think I'll ever get to meet her?”
“Maybe.” Geoff replied. “I guess anything's possible isn't it?”
“Hey you found a nice girl who likes you, I'd say that's proof that anything is possible.” Trent replied, right before a pillow thrown by Geoff hit him in the face.
“Owwww,” Trent said, rubbing his cheek. “Why oh why do people keep throwing things at me?”
“What do you mean?” Geoff asked him. Trent just pointed at the knives on the bedside table. Geoff picked them up and looked them over.
“Wait, someone threw these at you? Who?” Geoff asked.
“Don't you care about the why?” Trent replied, turning to lay on his side and look at Geoff.
“I can imagine why. Probably the same reason I threw something at you.”
“Which is?”
“Because you're an ass” Geoff replied, throwing another pillow. Trent caught it and threw it back at him.
“I may be an ass but at least I have good reflexes.”
“So who did it then? Why do you still have them even?”
“Lena threw them at me after a few drinks and jokes.”
“At her expense?”
“Of course.”
“Shouldn't you have been looking for information, not women?”
“What about you?” Trent responded. Geoff fidgeted again and threw another pillow, this time connecting with Trent's face. Trent threw it back and then opened up the drawer of the table and pulled out the documents Lena gave him and handed them over to Geoff.
“At least when I get sidetracked by women I still get the job done. Then again you are a little...shall we say, inexperienced.”
“What do you mean by that?” Geoff asked, looking through the files.
“You ever had a girlfriend kid?” Trent asked Geoff. Geoff pulled the files up to hide his face while he kicked at Trent's bed. Trent laughed at him and sat up again. He pulled the files down and laughed even harder when he saw Geoff's embarrassed face.
“Do you need me to give you the “the talk”?” Trent asked, trying his hardest not to laugh. Getting no response from Geoff he cleared his throat and decided to go ahead.
“You see” he said, tapping his cheeks in contemplation. “How to put it? AH! When a man and a woman are in love, and married, the man takes his pe-” Another pillow to the head stopped Trent mid-sentence. Geoff put down the file and dived from his bed on to Trent and started a play fight with him.
“You know this isn't too different to what I was going to explain” Trent said while fending Geoff off. Geoff started laughing and Trent laughed with him. While they were laughing Trent pushed Geoff off the bed.
“Shouldn't have let your guard down kid” Trent said to Geoff, leaning over across the edge of the bed. Geoff tried to swipe at Trent's face but he moved out of the way. Geoff got up and sat back down on his own bed and started looking through the file on Steven again.
“So just when do we go after this guy anyway?” Geoff asked.
“Well you can see how dangerous he is with that. Look over it tonight and tell me how you feel in the morning. We won't go after him until you feel like you're ready to handle it.”
“That's awfully considerate of you.” Geoff said.
“Well I did promise Lena I'd take care of you.”
“Nice to know you care.”
“Well I care about her so, eh, might as well do what she asks.”
“Yes she has one of those too. Doesn't your girl? Or is she too good for one?”
“No, she's too respectable to show me hers. I don't know what I'd think about a girl who shows her ass to every man who walks by.”
“Oh that's it kid, you're going down.” Trent said, standing up. He jumped over to Geoff's bed and landed on him. He also caused the bed to break.
“Hmmm, that wasn't supposed to happen.” Trent said while digging his elbow into Geoff's stomach.
“No it wasn't” Geoff said while shoving Trent off of him. He got up and surveyed the damage. “You know how to fix this?”
“Sure do?” Trent replied with a smile.
“Really? How would you fix it?”
“You go down to the front desk with a big pile of money and you apologise and you lie about how it broke while offering to pay for a new one.” Geoff slapped himself on the forehead and walked over to the door. He opened it and motioned to Trent.
“Well go on then, go fix it.”
“Why do I have to pay for it?”
“You broke it! You break it you buy it!”
“Fine, fine” Trent said, motioning for Geoff to calm down. I'll go pay for it. You stay up here and talk to your little girlfriend or something.”
“She's NOT my girlfriend!”
“You know, that's actually usually the first sign that she is.” Trent said as he walked through the door. Geoff shut the door on him and leaned on it.
“You know, I am actually glad you're quite happy kid” Trent said through the door.
“I know” Geoff replied, speaking up so Trent could hear him. “Me too” he added, softer, when he heard Trent's footsteps as he went down the stairs.

This week I also wrote out all the post before changing the font and the colour, so I didn't have to try and read gray on white again. Another yay for me. 


  1. Despite not really knowing how blokes bond together I think you gave a really accurate description in this awesome piece of writing Mark. I've unfortunately had too much bonding with males in my past, I used to sit up at Ryan's house smoking joints until six in the morning and by the time I'd left I'd still annoyingly hear his voice when I'd be trying to sleep haha so maybe you're lucky!

  2. Hot steamy elbow-digging-into-stomach male bonding rituals~ <3

  3. Nice work.
    "My best friend, even though I presumed she was a boy, was a girl pretending to be a boy, so I don't think she counts."
    This line made me go LOL :D

  4. Well, there is definitely chemistry (and I mean that in a strictly platonic way) between your characters. Based on what I know about male bonding is that they bond through experience: they like to do things together rather than sit and talk. So you can try having this conversation happen while they are shooting hoops, watching a sporting event (now I am getting really stereotypical, I know men have other interests beside sports).

  5. Male bonding = Beer and video games. I can't think of any better way to bond with my male friends.

  6. male bonding is easy, just get some beer, drugs, look at tits. real simple stuff.

  7. It's ok about the male bonding thing. I write about things I know nothing about, or else I would have nothing to write!


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