Some things that came up included the time I was almost mugged a few years ago and how I managed to surprise myself. Even though it traumatised the hell out of me, and I still have that trauma, when it was happening I don't even know how but I was incredibly bloody daring. When he threatened me for my stuff I threatened him back, and thinking back I really am surprised I didn't get physical with him. Some stuff didn't come up, and it probably won't for a while. While Cognitive Behavioural Therapy accepts that the past is important, it focuses more on the here and now. She said that while we will explore the past a little, for now she wants to focus on setting goals and making progress because ruminating on the past like that isn't very healthy. Which it isn't really.
She also implied that we'll be going out in to town together as part of immersion therapy. Immersion is basically where you just put yourself in situations deliberately to help you deal with them and overcome them. She's started it by telling me to go out once a day to just down the street, so I don't know if we will actually be going out some time. One of the most stressful things for me is eating in public so really I expect we probably will. She has a kid, sure, but I won't say no to taking a girl out to dinner.
She also said I would look good in a hat. Which I do agree with. I used to have a fedora but my cat slept on it. A lot. And so it got so covered in fur and crushed that it couldn't be saved :( If I didn't just buy a new laptop I'd totally buy a new hat.
So, I'm about to say "Fuck you past" and do something I've never done before. I'm going to really just throw myself out of my comfort zone and show you that I do in fact look good with a hat on. Screw it, I'm still on my post therapy high. Wouldn't be the first time I did something I knew I was going to regret.
|I miss my hat :(|