Tuesday I wrote a post about how people trust me very easily, and open up. And how it was all far beyond my understanding. As I don't trust myself, it makes it hard for me to accept others trust me. It's the same reason I have trouble accepting the love and care of others. Fang said this post kind of did away with my alter-image of some kind of psycho, but I'm not so sure. I think the best psychos, the truly insane ones, are incredibly smart, clever, and can be very easy to trust because they know exactly what they're doing. I'm not saying I'm that good, I'm more than likely not, I'm just saying that being trustable doesn't mean that you're safe.
Wednesday was about how I went back to the shop I used to volunteer at as a customer. I even bought a few things. I didn't go in to the stock room, and didn't really talk to anyone but the important thing is I walked in. Twice. Suzy told me off for getting down on myself for saying I should have gone into the stock room but I didn't mean it like that. I know it's a step by step process and I was accepting that as the next step. When you think that I've been insulted, ignored, locked in, and had several breakdowns in, that room, I don't think it's really hard to imagine why I'm no hurry to go back in there. At least, not on my own.
Thursday there wasn't a podcast, but I did have an excuse. I spent most of last week ill and I couldn't do it. In fact on Sunday I almost fainted. I was in the bath and I felt nauseous so got out and sat in my room until the room stopped spinning. My vision dimmed and I actually couldn't see anything out of my left eye. I've never lost consciousness once in my entire life, and I would like to keep it that way.
Friday I did something and I'm not sure how many times it's been done. I don't think I did it at least. I wrote a post live from two separate locations. I started writing a post in the cafe while I was waiting for my dinner to arrive, and then it turned up so I had to stop and finish it off in the library after I had my dinner. It was about my therapy session by the way. I had therapy on Friday and didn't want you guys to be waiting half a week to find out what happened. We actually went on a walk in town and next time, which is next Monday, she wants us to spend an hour outside together. Some of you were a bit confused about the girl I mentioned who helped push me over the edge, and I think I've mentioned it before but I'll be happy to get another post out of it. I'll see what I can do. To the people who said they're surprised I can write a post on my phone it's actually not much. I can't comment on my phone, because it doesn't display most blogs properly, but post writing is easy. I just write the post as a memo, copy it into an email, and send it to an email address. Writing posts by phone is very easy because you just email something. The email subject becomes the name of the post, and the email body is the post itself.
Saturday was another Immortal Space update. I'm going to be writing three times this week (I hope) so there should be one this week too. Last weeks update had a whole lot of gay undertones, and of course there's going to be a few more this week. Apparently I continued to write very natural dialogue. I guess it helps that I always plan conversations out in my head, while still having them. They never go how I want, but, when I'm the one writing them and deciding how they go, they do. It's fun like that. To answer Bart's question an IS post takes me about five minutes to write yeah because a lot of it is copy and pasting. The update itself can take 30-60 minutes and I write a regular post in about 10-20 minutes. This post took about 30 minutes though.
Sunday was a tidbit about how I was depressed Saturday night but there was some good because in a really odd moment my niece said she likes it when me and her have fun, just the two of us. See she has three sisters at home, and even when she's here there's another niece, so she doesn't really get much alone time with anyone. Other than that I posted two songs by the band Demons and Wizards. While I was depressed I listened to those two songs a few times. They're pretty good to listen to when in a low mood.
And that's that really and boy this post was damned long. If you read it all you can have a cookie.
|I baked you a cookie but I eated it. I also found something you can search for on google images and not find porn. Cookies, is there anything they can't do?|