This happened on Monday, and I'm writing on Monday (I know, cheating, but again I'm writing while things are still fresh in my head) but because I knew everyone was more interested in the therapy I would put that first and then write a whole other post for this.
My dad asked me something today that kind of surprised me. He asked me if I would be okay with him taking contract work that meant he wouldn't be in the house as much, and would actually have to stay overnight. I wasn't aware of just how aware he was of my problems, and how much more comfortable I am having him in the house. I won't deny that the prospect of him not being around scares me, but I think this is the best option for everyone right now. Hell it even gives me more responsibility because even though I feed the small tabby cat, my dad takes care of feeding the big ginger one. So without him around I'll have to feed both. It will also help me be a bit more independent. I actually don't like how dependent I am sometimes. I can feed and clean myself don't worry, but I tend to leave the cleaning to him.
The main reason I said he should do it though is actually the money. He said to me that they will pay him in a day what he is currently earning in a week. I can joke saying I want the high life, but even someone like me can tell that things aren't so good for the house. My mum is behind on the rent at her house, and it's not like my dad can afford to pay her rent for her (Which is something that at one time or another he has done for everyone in the family). My dad owns the house we live in, so it's not like he can fall behind on rent, but he could have had some trouble with bills and such.
This also eases some off the pressure on me. Knowing how tough things can be sometimes for my dad it really pressured me in to wanting to get a job even though it was really bad for me mentally, and wanting to get that book out there as quick as I can. If my dad is earning more money then I can relax a little, and take the time I need.
I'm going to miss having my dad around, I really am, and the thought of him being gone is bringing me close to tears, but this is for the best, and he'll still be around a lot. Maybe he can even get me a job there. Who doesn't love nepotism?
I wonder how long it's going to take until I buy a gun for personal protection. Fuck I'd buy some swords if I could afford them. I have a wooden one but nothing says "I'll cut your fucking face off if you don't get out the house" like a metal sword.
I'll be fine guys, really. I just didn't know how much my dad cared. We spend a lot of time together on Wednesdays and he said that if he was going to have to stay out overnight, he wants to work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I didn't realise too how much those times might have meant to him too.