Tuesday, 9 October 2012

I Have A Plan

I don't know how well it comes across, but I am the planning type. Much like the inspiration for writing, I will randomly think of a plan. Not every plan comes to fruition, or really gets thought about, but I did have rather a good one yesterday. I decided out of the blue to ask myself just why it is that I'm not really having as much success as I could be finding work. It would be nice if I could make some form of a living off of writing, and maybe I'll get to do that eventually, but for now I have to really be a slave to society and "The Man" because I'm just not cut out for a life of crime really. I'm far too nice and I totally lack an intimidation factor. Or a weapon. Or a crew. Or a safe guy. Or even a getaway car.

Which kind of brings us to the plan. Yay segues. No a Segway is not the answer, though that would have been a more than remarkable segue. The biggest problem I have is transportation. I've still not gone back to having my driving lessons. God only knows when that will actually happen. So for now I'm going to abandon the car, and switch to the next best thing. The motorcycle. It would make me a faggot by the South Park definition but I have always been fascinated by motorbikes. Like most people obsessed with the 80's, it's one of my half dreams to ride a Harley down Route 66. That will not be able to happen for quite some time, but thankfully riding a bike may be able to happen soon. Not for like a month or two, but that's still quite soon in my books.

So, how will I go about this? Just what is the plan? It's rather simple. I plan to use the money I will (hopefully) make from the short story collection to buy a bike. My dad has kindly agreed to pay for the CBT (which I believe stands for Compulsory Basic Training, but I could be very wrong) which is essentially a one day course in all the things involved with riding a bike. At the end of that, I will be qualified to ride the aforementioned bike wherever I want. As long as it's not a motorway. I'll also be limited to 50ccs but you can get some good looking bikes at that power.

Here's where a slight hitch in the plan insists on showing itself. See, I haven't ridden a bike, of any variety, in over ten years. They say you never forget, but I'm pretty sure it's been long enough for me to have forgotten. My brother, who has passed his CBT (and broken 3 bikes but let's not get into that) suggested that I ride a pushbike for a while first. This is where the hitch really kicks in. I am an incredulously self conscious person. I can picture myself riding a pushbike and I don't really like how it looks. At least if I was on a motorbike I could wear a badass leather jacket, or at the very least a helmet. In fact I'm pretty sure a helmet is a legal requirement. I'm only just allowing myself to go out on walks really. Who knows how long going out on a bike is going to take me? Does my exercise bike count? The basics are pretty much the same. It's just that it doesn't move.

*sigh* I love it when a plan comes together, but when they come apart is just shit. I still plan on getting a motorcycle but it would be nice if I could have somewhere private to practice on a pushbike and I could borrow one from someone, instead of having to buy two bikes. Christ right now I'm saving up for a motorcycle, a laptop, and a holiday next year. God I hope the book is remotely successful. I don't have delusions of grandeur, just a few hundred copies sold would be nice. Hell one hundred copies sold would be nice.

At this point just releasing it would be nice.


  1. After hearing some grim stories about motorcycle accidents, you'll never see me on one.

  2. hello i Listiani. I really like your blog. may I be friends with you

  3. I'm really not particularly keen on bikes myself Mark but one of my favourite bloggers on here is an avid motorcycle rider and she absolutely loves it, she loves the freedom and the people that you meet and just travelling down an open road with the wind on her face and for those reasons I can see why motorcycling is awesome and I can also see it really suiting you.

  4. Well, Mark, I will not rain on your parade and will stick with the premise, to each their own on this one and wish you well on your journey with your motorcycle. Please promise me you'll be safe.

  5. I think you should go for it,I love motorcycles and have ridden on the back of my dad's one several times. People keep telling me it's dangerous and there are many accidents, but so is rugby and I still do that. I think you should get one, they're very fun and I'm sure you'd enjoy it but still, be safe on it! :D x

  6. Coming from someone who barely learned how to ride a bicycle this summer, I say go for it! Just be safe and take baby steps (if need be) in learning how to ride a motorbike :)

  7. Invest in experiences, not objects. Get that holiday first, which is pure experience. Then get the bike, which is 50/50, and the laptop last, which is 100% material.
    Or stop taking my advice because I do a shit job most of the time.

    Bikes are cool though. But seriously, a pushbike?
    You will end up failing, especially after 10 years of nothing, but take it like a man, get back up, and ride that sweet ass baby like there's no tomorrow. (Also, can't you take the course prior to buying a bike? If it turns out you for some reason really don't like it, you aren't saddled up with an expensive piece of machinery you won't be doing anything with.)

  8. I'm not a fan of vehicles that don't have 4 wheels. Not that motorcycles aren't cool...they are...but not as safe.

    Finish the book! Achieve your goals!

  9. My 4th Grade teacher who I will call Mr. Dorko, did nothing but tell horror stories of people getting into accidents on motor bikes. He thought motor bikes were evil. He also thought salad bars were evil. So, there ya go.

    1. My maths teacher last year thought cats and shampoo were evil...x

    2. Althea, he must have very greasy hair...and lots of mice in his house.


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