Friday, 14 September 2012

Sorry Once More

Don't worry guys, this one won't be a serious downer or anything. I just wanted to say sorry for being such a depressing wanker yesterday in the post. I accepted I wasn't that good at what I was trying to do, but that's only because I've never really tried it before. Looking back on Immortal Space reminded me how far I've come as a writer. It might have sounded like a joke when I said "Who wrote this crap? Oh wait, me" but it doesn't seem as good compared to what I write these days. I also butchered the English language a few times. But, I kept at it, and now I write quite well. I wasn't very good at writing conversations, but now I get praised on them. I was always switching between perspectives, and even tenses. That's just bad writing. I had someone telling me what I was doing wrong though, I had people telling me how I could improve, and I took their advice on board and I went for it.

I've never really been a very good speaker, and I'm even worse when speaking to others. That may come as a bit of a shock, but I highly doubt it. When me and Bersercules recorded a podcast, especially in that two hour one we did, it was obvious. I was nervous, and I was unsure of myself. I've been doing it for thirty two shows now and sometimes I do just fine. When I started I sounded depressed and uninterested, and now when I do them, sometimes I sound actually exuberant, and full of life. I still get nervous before I record a podcast, but when it starts, and I start talking, I do okay.

This is why I need constructive criticism, this is why I need people who tell me what I'm doing wrong, so I can work on doing them. I promise I won't flip out, and call you a twat for telling me what I'm doing wrong. I need it, I honestly do. If you think I can improve what I do in any way, then do tell me. I was able to learn and advance as a writer because I had people telling me what I was doing wrong, and I want to learn and advance with everything I do. If you want proof I wasn't naturally a good writer, then go ahead and listen to the podcast, or read those first few chapters of Immortal Space, or just read early blog posts. I may have had a natural talent for it, and I may have been able to pick it up quite quickly, but I'm still only good at it, and I can always improve.

The same applies to podcasting and really anything I do. So, please, do be honest. I realise you might not want to hurt me, but I've been hurt before, and I've grown from it. Being hurt doesn't break me. For very long at least. Mistakes help a person grow, and change, but only if they know they've made them.

Yes this is the same picture from the guest post I wrote for Aysh. Screw the rules I have money. I wish.

22 comments:

  1. I always enjoy your posts more when you let yourself brag a little or get a bit optimistic.

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    1. My biggest problem is that I associate confidence with cockiness and arrogance. I don't want to seem arrogant.

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  2. The only thing I think you need to change is to stop being so self-critical. I know that's not something "technical" you can change in your writing. And I don't know how one goes about being more self-confident. I'm not really confident. I'm just good at pretending I am. I know that's easier for women because we fake it all the time!

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    1. They say men can fake it too but I'm yet to work out how really. But a man can definitely fake confidence. People have said they like it when I'm like that. When I act like I am the greatest thing to happen to writing since my previous incarnation.

      Huh, that's good, maybe I can use it.

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  3. Just be yourself :) don't think too much or don't try to act out :)

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    1. But by being myself I'm depressing and boring :P That's the problem.

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  4. I think you're being a bit hard on your self. Of course your not gunna be a master of writing straight away, these things build up! But you are pretty darn good. (I will hopefull have mine guest post done soon! sorry for the lateness)

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    1. I know, and I just accepted that here :) Don't worry about it being late or anything either ^^

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  5. I love your posts. But I guess with anything, practice makes perfect so if you're feeling naff about it then do it some more! (:

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    1. I already write a post a day :) I can do some more writing for myself though. If I can find the time between all my procrastination.

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  6. Aww Mark I didn't want you to feel bad with my comment man. I don't know, it's hard to explain because obviously I'm over critical and a real Darren Downer on myself but it's important to not bring yourself down too much. Like with me I really limit myself by lacking confidence and it really isn't good for me and I need to fix that.

    I thought the comment saying you attention seek was a little unfair too, obviously you're not an attention seeker and even if you were this is your blog after all.

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    1. I didn't feel bad with your comment or anything. I had this planned out after I wrote the post, and I edited it a bit to make it not sound as bad. As in, to make it sound like I wasn't just being an attention seeking bitch. If you've followed me for long enough, you know I'm genuinely like that, and I'm trying to get better.

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  7. I don't think you have to apologize for sounding depressed. It is your blog, and if you are feeling depressed, you should be allowed to say so. But then I guess when you are doing it in an open public forum, you are leaving your life open to criticism, and analysis from every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes along. So, I guess, you kinda have to weigh, how much of yourself, you are willing to put out there to be dissected by the peanut gallery.

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    1. I don't mind showing this place my depressed side, I've done it more than enough really.

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  8. Unfortunately, I ony had time to listen to the first 5 minutes of the podcast before I left for work, but from the writing I've seen from you, you're going it right. The post that sticks out in my mind most (pardon me as I've forgotten the title) was the one where you wrote out an inner dialogue. It was superb work.

    I've been trying to work on a novel myself, but I've rewritten the first chapter more times than I can count, from first-person to third-person to omniscient and then objective. I'm all over the place. Anyway, looking back on my first draft, I've noticed that my most recent draft blows it out of the water (not that it still doesn't need work). Anyway, I don't know what the hell I'm getting at other than keep on writing and rewriting. I think you're a bit too critical of your writing as am I. What I attempt to do is read books and find fragments that imitate my voice in the text just to reassure myself that a published author uses somewhat of a same style as I. It assures me that I'm just being overly critical.

    Also, as far as the podcast goes, I think you're doing great. I've recorded myself a few times, but I can't get over the awkwardness of talking to the computer because I'd love to do some podcasts myself, but I can't keep the speech going.

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  9. Well yeah duh that's what an audience if for right, to crack you down on the stuff you do wrong, and to raise you to heaven for the stuff you do right, so you can clearly see what parts need improving, and improve on that.
    ..if only life were that simp- *shot*

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  10. Though I have been following you on Twitter for quite some time, this is the first time I have actually visited your blog.

    One thing in life you should remember is that you should never have to justify who you are to others. For those who matter no justification is needed.
    I'll be honest with you too. I've never been much of a public speaker. I get really nervous and my knees start to wobble (not really bad, but sort of). And the same applies when it comes to talking to people. It's okay.

    And I think there is a difference between giving your self positive criticism and putting yourself down. Don't do the latter for there are people all around who are more than willing to do that to you.

    You are lovely too.
    :)

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  11. Sorry to hear you've not been feeling great Mark, but I agree with the comment above me - don't justify who you are. If you're feeling low, sometimes writing about it on your blog can get it out of your system, and remember, it's your blog, you write what you want to. xxx

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  12. I think it's a plus that you're not only willing to accept constructive criticism, but that you're actually asking for it. Go you!

    And I'M sorry that I've been super MIA from reading and commenting. For someone reason your blog gets blocked at my job and that's where I do 99% of my blog reading and writing. I'll work on being better.

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  13. Oh man, I logged outta the blogosphere for another coupla months. What happened? What I missed?

    Time to read the backlog~!

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  14. My creative writing abilities aren't that great so I'm really in no position to critique.

    However, send me an essay or a scientific paper and maybe we can talk. :P

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  15. My criticism: quit apologizing for stuff

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