So last time I tried to do the A-Z of me, I got to "m" before leaving it because it had already lasted a while, and then I used Friday to give a public apology instead of continuing on. I was planning on adding this in to the podcast tomorrow but I decided to just post it today. That way, I have until Friday to think of something for Friday. I'm also not sure my idea for the podcast can take up enough time. Still, it's a rant, I always go off course with rants. Plus I can always find something to fill time. For now though, at long last, a continuation of the A-Z Of My Bad Self.
N is for No, the hardest word there is for me to say. I'm not saying that I can't say no if someone offers me drugs. I don't know actually no one has offered me drugs before. Or fags. My brother was on drugs once but he never shared. Wanker. I find it hard to say no when people ask me for my time. When they want something. Most of all, when they want me specifically. If I really had to, I could probably stay up all night for someone, then stay up all day for someone else. Then, hopefully, not have to stay up all night again. Jeez that probably would kill me.
O is for Open. I can be quite an open person, much to my own detriment. I also encourage other people to be more open with me. So far, there hasn't really been anyone I've been unable to crack. Though, sometimes, people can be annoyed that they do open up. Don't be, I'm ridiculously charming and soothing. I would open up to me, but I don't think I could deal with the problems that I have. Plus most of them are caused by me, and you don't really want to talk about your problems with who caused them.
Speaking of problems, P is for Problems. Huh, wonder if I can make S for segue. Anyway, I have 99 problems and sadly a bitch is one. Technically. I guess. Whatever. I have problems and issues that need to be resolved. I'm aware of this, and sometimes I try and fix them, and at other times I'm too busy wallowing in self pity and loneliness to do anything about it. Fixing your problems does make you feel better though, I can tell you that. I just did.
Q is for Queer. Not just because I am kind of a queer, but also just because it's a really fun word. I'm pretty sad that it's original meaning of being a bit strange, not quite normal, "funny", is gone. I enjoy using the word queer, and I would like to be able to get back to using it without sounding like a homophobe that you very much.
R is for Rest. Something I get nowhere near enough of, and yet too much. A lot of what's wrong with me can be traced back to either doing too much, or doing too little. Or somehow managing to do both. Yes people that's possible. What you do is do too much of something you shouldn't, and not enough of something you should. Respite is also a fun word that probably would have applied. To cut a short story short, I need to rest. Not just rest more, but rest efficiently too.
Speaking of efficient, S is for Segue. That was a rather efficient one if I do say so myself. S is actually for Sonic. As in Sonic the Hedgehog. As in, by God is it any reason I'm lonely? Sonic the Hedgehog has always been one of my favourite games, TV shows, and just generally characters. He's way past cool. I also remember reading a really awesome story that playing Sonic helped increase reaction time. Or, it did until they took the sonic out of Sonic. Sonic 4 was a very nice return to form though, kudos SEGA.
T is for Time. Never seems to be enough of the stuff. Plus I'm awful at keeping track of it. I forget when things happen, and sometimes I think either too much time has passed, or not as much as I thought. I heard though that is a genuine phenomena, that time, and our perception of it, is altered so something really can feel longer than it is, and time does really fly when you have fun. I guess I need more average activities, so time flows just right.
U is for Understanding. I suppose this ties in with problems but I am a very understanding person. So much so that I rarely get angry at anyone. Who is over the age of sixteen and not one of my nieces. I understand how a person's circumstances can change, and cause them to not act how I want to, I can understand how a lot of people I talk to feel. I've been through enough in life to have an idea of how people feel in certain situations. I can explain a persons actions sometimes even better than they can. I've helped people understand and realise the reasons they do something, or what they're feeling, even when they have no clue.
V is for Vendetta. Well V is really for...ummm....God dammit I can't get dirty words out of my head. Or things I don't want to totally open up about. Bah. Okay, V is for Versatile. I'm not sure how versatile I may be, but I won a versatile blogger award once. And some would probably say I'm quite versatile to always post something, even when I have no idea on what to post, and then spend paragraphs explaining how I have nothing to post about. It fits, I guess.
V is also for vagina dammit I couldn't just let it go.
W is for Walking. I actually did go out for a walk on Monday, but then didn't go out for one on Tuesday. Which is a shame but we live. It might not sound like much, but for me to go out for a walk like that was a big deal. When I got home I felt quite proud of myself. Then ruined it by not going out again. One step at a time I guess.
X is for Xylophone. No, wait, I do have an actual story for this. There was a time in school in drama class (or it may have been music, we were in the drama classroom) where we were given xylophones to play, and people who brought in a permission slip were to have their pictures taken, and be in the newspaper. Now, for some reason or another (I think it was that I hated having my picture taken) I never handed in my permission slip, so I had to sit in a corner, by myself. There are actually no pictures of me at that school. I came in a year late, and I refused to be in the picture at the end of the last year. They wouldn't let me keep my jumper on, and I genuinely felt so strongly about it I just walked out the door.
Y is for You. The people who are actually reading this. Because it's gone on far too long. But, without you, there wouldn't be much of a point to all this now would there? Plus I am a social creature, even if I hate to admit it. Without you guys, I'd be a lot more bored and lonely than I am now. Sheesh. Never leave me :(
Z is for ZOMG this is finally over. If I actually had to give a word that word would be zen. It's not something I have right now, but inner peace would be pretty damn cool. I guess.
So, there you have it. I probably could have turned that into three posts, or one hour long podcast.
Oh, the wasted opportunities...