Wednesday, 19 September 2012

N-Z Of Me

So last time I tried to do the A-Z of me, I got to "m" before leaving it because it had already lasted a while, and then I used Friday to give a public apology instead of continuing on. I was planning on adding this in to the podcast tomorrow but I decided to just post it today. That way, I have until Friday to think of something for Friday. I'm also not sure my idea for the podcast can take up enough time. Still, it's a rant, I always go off course with rants. Plus I can always find something to fill time. For now though, at long last, a continuation of the A-Z Of My Bad Self.

N is for No, the hardest word there is for me to say. I'm not saying that I can't say no if someone offers me drugs. I don't know actually no one has offered me drugs before. Or fags. My brother was on drugs once but he never shared. Wanker. I find it hard to say no when people ask me for my time. When they want something. Most of all, when they want me specifically. If I really had to, I could probably stay up all night for someone, then stay up all day for someone else. Then, hopefully, not have to stay up all night again. Jeez that probably would kill me.

O is for Open. I can be quite an open person, much to my own detriment. I also encourage other people to be more open with me. So far, there hasn't really been anyone I've been unable to crack. Though, sometimes, people can be annoyed that they do open up. Don't be, I'm ridiculously charming and soothing. I would open up to me, but I don't think I could deal with the problems that I have. Plus most of them are caused by me, and you don't really want to talk about your problems with who caused them.

Speaking of problems, P is for Problems. Huh, wonder if I can make S for segue. Anyway, I have 99 problems and sadly a bitch is one. Technically. I guess. Whatever. I have problems and issues that need to be resolved. I'm aware of this, and sometimes I try and fix them, and at other times I'm too busy wallowing in self pity and loneliness to do anything about it. Fixing your problems does make you feel better though, I can tell you that. I just did.

Q is for Queer. Not just because I am kind of a queer, but also just because it's a really fun word. I'm pretty sad that it's original meaning of being a bit strange, not quite normal, "funny", is gone. I enjoy using the word queer, and I would like to be able to get back to using it without sounding like a homophobe that you very much.

R is for Rest. Something I get nowhere near enough of, and yet too much. A lot of what's wrong with me can be traced back to either doing too much, or doing too little. Or somehow managing to do both. Yes people that's possible. What you do is do too much of something you shouldn't, and not enough of something you should. Respite is also a fun word that probably would have applied. To cut a short story short, I need to rest. Not just rest more, but rest efficiently too.

Speaking of efficient, S is for Segue. That was a rather efficient one if I do say so myself. S is actually for Sonic. As in Sonic the Hedgehog. As in, by God is it any reason I'm lonely? Sonic the Hedgehog has always been one of my favourite games, TV shows, and just generally characters. He's way past cool. I also remember reading a really awesome story that playing Sonic helped increase reaction time. Or, it did until they took the sonic out of Sonic. Sonic 4 was a very nice return to form though, kudos SEGA.

T is for Time. Never seems to be enough of the stuff. Plus I'm awful at keeping track of it. I forget when things happen, and sometimes I think either too much time has passed, or not as much as I thought. I heard though that is a genuine phenomena, that time, and our perception of it, is altered so something really can feel longer than it is, and time does really fly when you have fun. I guess I need more average activities, so time flows just right.

U is for Understanding. I suppose this ties in with problems but I am a very understanding person. So much so that I rarely get angry at anyone. Who is over the age of sixteen and not one of my nieces. I understand how a person's circumstances can change, and cause them to not act how I want to, I can understand how a lot of people I talk to feel. I've been through enough in life to have an idea of how people feel in certain situations. I can explain a persons actions sometimes even better than they can. I've helped people understand and realise the reasons they do something, or what they're feeling, even when they have no clue.

V is for Vendetta. Well V is really for...ummm....God dammit I can't get dirty words out of my head. Or things I don't want to totally open up about. Bah. Okay, V is for Versatile. I'm not sure how versatile I may be, but I won a versatile blogger award once. And some would probably say I'm quite versatile to always post something, even when I have no idea on what to post, and then spend paragraphs explaining how I have nothing to post about. It fits, I guess.

V is also for vagina dammit I couldn't just let it go.

W is for Walking. I actually did go out for a walk on Monday, but then didn't go out for one on Tuesday. Which is a shame but we live. It might not sound like much, but for me to go out for a walk like that was a big deal. When I got home I felt quite proud of myself. Then ruined it by not going out again. One step at a time I guess.

X is for Xylophone. No, wait, I do have an actual story for this. There was a time in school in drama class (or it may have been music, we were in the drama classroom) where we were given xylophones to play, and people who brought in a permission slip were to have their pictures taken, and be in the newspaper. Now, for some reason or another (I think it was that I hated having my picture taken) I never handed in my permission slip, so I had to sit in a corner, by myself. There are actually no pictures of me at that school. I came in a year late, and I refused to be in the picture at the end of the last year. They wouldn't let me keep my jumper on, and I genuinely felt so strongly about it I just walked out the door.

Y is for You. The people who are actually reading this. Because it's gone on far too long. But, without you, there wouldn't be much of a point to all this now would there? Plus I am a social creature, even if I hate to admit it. Without you guys, I'd be a lot more bored and lonely than I am now. Sheesh. Never leave me :(

Z is for ZOMG this is finally over. If I actually had to give a word that word would be zen. It's not something I have right now, but inner peace would be pretty damn cool. I guess.

So, there you have it. I probably could have turned that into three posts, or one hour long podcast.

Oh, the wasted opportunities...


  1. Don't worry Mark we'll never leave you buddy haha. Until we die or something equally as sad and depressing. Great post dude, I love the way you thread together all of the parts of this. It's a shame that one of your problems is a girl one but I guess that's just normal for guys around our age.

  2. Ths was a fun post and I did wonder what happened to the A-Z. Thank you for letting us learn a bit more about you

  3. You did it!! I have some of the same issues as you do and even at my age I haven't beaten them. But I'm not dead yet, so there's still hope. I would say this, learn to say No and learn to rest. Those two go together and will help a lot of other things. Now I need to take my own advice and go to sleep!

  4. Nice! You've done it :D lol I laughed at the whole picture ordeal. I can totally relate to no being a hard word to say (not when it comes to drugs, peer pressure etc) It's weird to think that queer meant funny and now you can't say it without people thinking you're a homophobe.

    haha, aww @ 'never leave me' I WON'T *HUGS*

  5. You finished - awesome! Far better than I could do. I'm not leaving you, Mark, don't you worry. Even when you don't see me every day, I'm still with you in spirit (but not in a haunting, creepy, scary way). I felt sad when I read your school story...stupid school! But, then I laughed when I read ZOMG - you need to trademark that LOL

  6. I used to both love and hate Sonic... Remember Sega game gear? (the handheld thing that managed to have a lit up full color screen on its first go round when Gameboy for some reason couldn't do that for like 2 decades?) I had the Sonic game for that and the final bad guy for level 1 was freaking IMPOSSIBLE to beat, and may possibly be one of the reasons I now have occasional anger management problems...


  7. I gotta say, I feel the same way about the word queer, but sometimes society has to take cool words that weren't bothering anyone and change their connotation. Any word that starts with a Q is way too cool for us not to use it, honestly.

  8. What you said about rest... and doing too much of something you shouldn't, and not enough of something you should... really blew my mind. That was really profound. That probably sums up why many of us seem to be working our butts off, but not getting ahead.

  9. I could relate to all of these, except the gaming, that would be where my kids would relate, especially my youngest son!

  10. I have the same problem with the word "no." I don't like hurting people's feelings, so I hardly never say no to offering up my time, even if the task is something I generally don't want to do.

    And Sonic the Hedgehog was my hero when I was younger. He was the center of most of our imagnary adventures. Of course Knuckles was my favorite (before he began talking). But nothing beat the comic books. They got incredibly deep and exciting. There was even a show that was out that was pretty dark. Wish I remembered the name of it. It was the series that came out right after the very first series and before Robotnik became Eggman, I believe. Wow, I'm nerding out.

    And, b'awww glad I reached "Y." Good job finishing the entire alphabet!

  11. queer, seriously... of all the quirky words you could choose from u chose the gay one :P lol

  12. I would have broken it up into multiple posts. I'm kind of bad that way, if I can milk a topic, I'll milk it. :P


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