Saturday, 29 September 2012

A Big Ass Update

This is the aforementioned huge update to Immortal Space that comes in at about 2000 words. It's mostly a really long conversation, so expect this to not be read by me any time in the near future. Ahhh, it's good I can look back at that and laugh. Even if it does mean there won't be an audiobook version until I can hire someone to do it for me. Or swap sexual favours. I'm open to that by the way. I think that counts as a pun. Anyway, not much of an introduction because its so. DAMN. LONG. I'm not entirely sure where the last chapter cut off, so I'm hoping this is the right place.

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Trent shook his head and walked off in the opposite direction. He was heading to any bar he could find. The best information, especially about the more underground matters, was found in a bar. He found one a few streets away and went inside. He went to the bar and decided to have a drink before asking around.
“Hey there big guy.” he heard someone say. Looking around he spotted Lena a few seats down from him.
“Hey,” he replied, waving.
“No little boy with you today?” She asked, moving to sit next to him.
“Not this time. He's on a separate assignment.”
“Assignment? You are taking this seriously. Perhaps a bit too much.”
“Nah,” Trent said, shaking his head and taking a drink. “Though maybe too seriously for him.”
“What do ya mean?” Lena asked him, having some of her own drink.
“He hasn't been the same lately. He doesn't seem as happy these days.”
“Well he's been through a lot lately hasn't he?”
“Yeah, that's why we're just taking one big job to get all the money we need. He's off gathering information right now.”
“And what are you up to?” Lena said, smiling.
“The same thing ma'am” Trent replied, raising his glass.
“You don't seem to be hard at work, if I do say so myself.”
“Well what are you supposed to be doing?”
“Me? Why? You fancy going out together?”
“Not this time little lady” Trent said, tipping his hat. “Maybe another though.”
“My, I'm hurt” Lena said sarcastically, pouting and pretending to look disappointed. “So who are you after anyway?” She asked, smiling again.
“A fella by the name of Steven Albert.” Trent replied. He heard Lena gasp, and she had a shocked look on her face. “What? He that bad?”
“He's bad news. He's killed before. He uses really old weapons to make sure people suffer, and despite our advanced medicine, sometimes we forget how to take care of the old wounds that aren't seen anymore.”
“I'll be fine.” Trent said, grinning. “I'm a tough man” he said, hitting himself in the chest.
“I don't doubt that you are” Lena said, running a finger down Trent's chest. “But what about your little boy? How will he hold up?”
“He'll have me taking care of him. You don't need to worry about him.”
“Who said I'm worrying about you?” Lena said with a smirk. She noticed his communicator. “Hey, that's new. How long you had it?” She said, pointing at the device on his wrist.
“Just bought it, the kid has one too, if you're interested.” Lena laughed and took out her own communicator from one of the pockets on her vest.
“What else do you have in there?” Trent asked. “Why would you keep it there anyway?”
“Got no one to call.” She said, putting it on her wrist and turning it on. “As for what else is there, maybe some other time. You seem like a busy man hon. So, can I have your number?”
“Sure,” Trent said, holding down one of the buttons on his communicator.  Lena pressed a button on hers and then accepted the contact request. “Mind if I have the boys number too?” Lena asked.
“Sure, but don't call him after midnight, that's his bedtime.” Lena laughed and watched as Trent pulled up Geoff's profile on his communicator. Lena looked at it and put the number into her own communicator.

A few miles away Geoff heard a beep from his pocket. Taking his hand out of his pocket he saw a message on his communicator screen. He pressed a button and gasped as a holographic image of Lena appeared and the message on the screen said “Lena wants to add you to her contacts”. He pressed another button to confirm it, and continued walking. He wondered how she got his number, and decided to send her a message later. He wanted to find out more about Steven for now.

“Well he said yes.” Lena said when the confirmation message came through. “He sure knows how to make a girl happy. Maybe I'll call him later. He must be wondering how I got that number.”
“Well, be nice with him, won't you?” Trent said.
“You need to be nice with him too you know.” Lena replied. “For now though I'll have to say goodbye. But before I do, I'll tell you where to find Steven, if you want.”
“That would be most helpful ma'am.”
“Well, aren't you sweet. Here.” She said, handing him a piece of paper. “That's where you'll find him. But, please be careful. Especially the boy. But you too.”
“Once more, don't worry about me.” Trent said. “Want me to walk you home by the way?”
“If you want, but you won't be invited in.” Lena said, smiling at Trent and punching him in the arm.
“I'd rather see a pretty lady get home safely, than get inside her house myself.” Trent replied.
“Well, come on then” Lena said, grabbing on to his hand and pulling him out of the bar. “Let's get going.” Trent threw some money on the bar to pay for his drinks and then allowed Lena to drag him out of the bar.
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Okay so that was a thousand words, and about the right length of an update, but I'm allowed to make mistakes. Plus the plot is thickening. The actual plot is actually thickening like custard when you walk on it.

Seriously, you can walk on custard. Look it up.

5 comments:

  1. The plot really is thickening for this Mark, I'm loving Immortal Space more and more everyday I read it, great stuff buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah you can walk on non-Newtonian fluids as well.

    How does Lena know where to find the guy? Is she acquainted with him, allied even perhaps? Nah, you wouldn't take that easy, well-known way, now would you? Or maybe you do to surprise us. Fffff

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  3. The plot is getting so thick and rich, I could use it as a foamy shaving cream to shave off my beard... if I had a beard. Also, Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves is available to do the audio version.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the dialog, Mark. I am really starting to get to know everyone know. Great job! I'll take your word about the custard though...

    ReplyDelete
  5. My only issue is how the dialog is laid out. It's like a massive block of text, not appealing to the eye.

    Maybe find a way to break it up a bit there?

    ReplyDelete

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