Well I did have something proper written for today and now I'm not sure I'll be able to publish it. I hate when that happens. If I question if something should be published then chances are I won't publish it. I have a few drafts I'm not sure will ever see the light of day for whatever reason. I guess sometimes it helps just to write something out but it feels like a wasted effort when you write something specifically for the purpose of publishing it and then you don't. It was inspired by a sort of argument me and a friend had yesterday that ended in her deciding not to talk to me for a while.
I don't know why I won't publish it either really. She's not too likely to read it and its not like I attacked her anyway if she does. I wasn't even that much of a pathetic emo in it. Most of the time people write and don't publish something seems to be relativity and the longer they go without publishing it the less relatable and current it is, and the less likely they are to publish it. There's also when you don't want certain people to see. Oddly enough I still have that fear despite posting several things that would set alarm bells off in my families head if they read and still got no reaction from them over it. I can pretty much say at this point they aren't reading, but the fear they might still stops me. I've also mentioned a few things I'd do if I wasn't scared of the backlash I might get.
Don't worry about me though, it wasn't Jessie I fell out with, and with friends like her and Holly I can get through anything. They still love me, even at the times I really hate myself.
Also, today and tomorrow are going to be very busy days for me. It might be back to holiday rules of reading but not commenting. Though Megan, I'll send your posts to myself in an email and go back and comment on them when I can.
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