I had one of those moments yesterday where I found myself having to accept something I could have done without realising. We all have them, those things you need to recognise, and the times you find yourself doing it, even reluctantly. It didn't really have too much to do with being on holiday so its not going in the diary and I guess you could count this as the diary entry about it. Its also nothing really bad. So don't worry about that. I tweeted yesterday that it must be true home is where the heart is because I was feeling homesick and depressed because even though I was with the family, I miss, first of all, my cats tremendously. The second thing I seriously miss is Jessica. I start welling up when I think about her actually. I haven't talked to her all week. Well, I've sent her some messages but she's at her girlfriends partying all day every day and her phone was cut off, so she hasn't been able to respond to anything. Normally we talk on Facebook because of the phone being gone but she never really goes on fb at her girlfriends house. Though between writing and posting of this she is home now and she says her phone should be back on soon so we can talk like we used to. Yayyyyyyy.
What does this have to do with my inner workings you ask? Well, as you may or may not know, my star sign is Gemini and while I agree with pretty much everything they say about us, one thing I never agreed with is that we're social creatures. I said yesterday that I am not very social. I considered it a weakness. Whilst I'm not very social in real life, I am very approachable online, and I am really most definitely a social being online. I like talking to people. I get lonely very easily. I've been so lonely I've gone to desperate lengths I'm not willing to talk about. Don't worry, I've never called a phone sex line or anything. Geez, I have some limits. Though maybe I should consider running one. If I wasn't so super shy.
I haven't been able to talk to Holly either. In fact right now there's only one person I talk to on a continual basis and she's on holiday herself so she's busy and I can go a while without hearing from her. That is what I am currently struggling to, but eventually will have to, accept. That I like people. I like talking to someone. I like listening to people. Well, I've always known that one really. I prefer to listen than to talk. But I like having someone around. Jessica is still the truest, and the best of the best, but there are going to be times she isn't going to be there. That no one is going to be there but me. I started talking to myself a while ago though.
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