Saturday, 14 July 2012

The Perfect Wedding

I teased it yesterday and here it is. I got the idea for the perfect wedding, and I shared the idea with Jessica and she helped me add a bit more to it and so now you have the full story. Though she's also told me I have to write a sequel. Sorry about there being no Immortal Space in two weeks, but it's not like I ended on a cliffhanger. Anyway, here goes.


It was a bright and sunny day. The perfect day for a wedding. The perfect day for Liam's wedding specifically. Liam woke up and looked out the window while yawning. He smiled at the good weather. To him it was a sign that today would go perfect. He had spent a lot of time and money planning this wedding and it had to go smoothly. Everything had been planned meticulously and now it was down to the individuals involved to make sure it went well.

Liam had a shower and a quick breakfast before going to put on his suit. It was a rather normal suit really. Black trousers and a white shirt with an ivory waistcoat and a black blazer. For a little extra touch though he pinned a white rose to his lapel. He tied his hair back, had a quick look in the mirror to make sure he looked alright, and then left for the church. Originally he had always dreamed of getting married in an open field, but when he got the idea for the wedding he had now planned, he knew it had to be this way. He got there a little early and so sat in the pews while he waited for the guests to arrive. When they did he busied himself talking to them, making introductions and small talk.

Finally it was time to begin. Liam took his place at the altar and waited for the bride to come. The organist began playing that familiar tune Here Comes The Bride, and Liam turned to look up the aisle to watch her walk down. She was looking absolutely beautiful in a pure white dress that covered her almost entirely, as well as a veil that covered her face. Liam thought it was a bit much, but it was necessary to the plan. By the sounds of all the oohing and ahhing though no one else thought it was much, and seemed to love it.

She got to the altar and both her and Liam turned to face the minister.
“Ladies and gentleman, we are gathered here today,” he began, going through the entire thing that ministers normally go through before a wedding. Finally it was time to enact the plan, Liam thought.
“Liam John Jacob, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, until death do you part?” the minister asked him. This is it. This is what everything had been for. This moment right now.
“No.” Liam said with a straight face. Everyone was stunned. There were some murmurs behind him. People couldn't believe he had actually said no.
“N-n-no?” said the minister. “Why not?”
“Because,” said Liam, taking the time to dramatically turn to his fiancee and hold her hands, “I'm afraid I can not marry you, my love, for I am gay.” This got a sharp in take of breath from the pews, and someone actually fainted. “I could never love a woman, and I'm sorry to have lied to you for so long. I wanted to give you a moment of happiness but in the end I could not go through with it after all. You're a wonderful woman, and you deserve someone who can make you happy.” At first the bride started to cry, but it turned in to laughter. There was something off about it though. It wasn't light or soft at all. She ripped off the veil to reveal a face that, while soft, and made up, was definitely male.
“That's alright love,” he said, holding Liam's hands tight. “I'm not really a woman anyway.” There were more intakes of breath from the pews, and some more people fainted. Including the minister.
“Oh dear,” Liam said, looking at the minister. “Think we went a bit too far?”. The man in the wedding dress shook his head. “Not far enough I think.” he said, pulling in Liam and giving him a kiss. Some people actually screamed at this. Liam scooped his “bride” up and ran down the aisle, amidst shouts and screams. He laughed all the way to the door and through it. He ran to the wedding limousine and the two of them got in the back, ordering the driver to take them to Liam's house. He was a bit confused, but complied. Liam took out some champagne and handed a glass to the man in the dress.
“That may have cost a lot of money, but it was definitely worth it. I can call this plan a total success, cheers Craig.” he said, tapping his glass to Craig's before taking a drink. Craig laughed and drank his own champagne before kissing Liam again. The two of them laughed and made out all the way back to Liam's house. The thrill of a plan gone perfect still fresh in their memory. They would laugh about that for years to come.

The idea behind this story was that I would love to spend a load of money on a wedding just to say that I was gay at the altar, and that the whole thing couldn't happen. After talking to Jessica I decided to add the twist that the "bride" was a man in drag too. Now I have to write a sequel, or, at the very least, more stories with gay people.

I hope to write more in Immortal Space for next week. It would be good if I could write more than one chapter so I can get away with not writing for a week, but oh well. At the very least, I'm one story closer to a collection of short stories.


  1. Hey, Mark... wanted to thank you for your comment by you don't have your email enabled on your comments. Thank you!

  2. My mom would have fainted, nicely done.

  3. That was awesome. A wedding service I'd love to attend!!

  4. Oh my gosh.. My mother would faint with that kind of twist. But of course.. everyone deserves a happy ending. A perfect wedding..

    Hmm... Imma imagine my own perfect wedding, too. Hehe.

  5. Hahaha that was indeed awesome.

    I should write a story about gay people - how ironic would that be? :D


  6. hmmmm:|....a man in a dress ,a twisty story indeed

  7. Ha ha... that's pretty awesome, actually. The priest fainting was by far the best part :D

  8. Hahaha, oh dude, this is fucking genius! Please invite me to your wedding whenever it happens, I so want to witness this! :D
    Real good show there, chap!

  9. For all the people screaming and crying in the pews I have one thing to say, or should I say sing..."no moore no mooore...of the cryyying game...noo moooore no mooore....of the crying game."

  10. lol, now as shocking and awesome as that would be, I'm afraid the perfect wedding already happened, man & woman members of Metallica tribute band married each other and played Metallica covers at their own wedding reception. Yes, the bride played drums in her dress. Google/youtube it man! haha

  11. Wow that ending is amazing man, I wasn't expecting the shock twist when I seen you tweeting and calling it "the perfect wedding," but that really delivered mate, love the writing. I actually swear you have a great knack for setting a scene and conveying humour in a non unrealistic way, really makes for a seriously slick piece of writing every time you get to typing, awesome work mate.

  12. Hopefully one day same-gender marriages won't be too much of a shock to the people in the church! LOL! Take care

  13. Guess the perfect wedding is a matter of perspective. I rather just get eloped at a drive-thru chapel lol.

  14. Ah, so that's your dream wedding? Mine involves getting married to chocolate cake, but then I wouldn't be allowed to eat it, right? It's illegal to eat a spouse, although we were all made be eaten, I think.

  15. I actually gasped when the groom said no!
    Brilliant twist! I was not expecting that at all. I thought he nights say no, and then go on about how he loved her for more than eternity or blah blah, but your version was much better. Good story chap


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