Saturday, 21 July 2012

Back To Space

I was able to do some writing for Immortal Space yesterday at long last (yayyyyyyyyy) and there was one little edit I made on an earlier chapter. If you can remember, Geoff bought some books from the parts shop. I thought to myself "Books? In 2500?". While I'd like it if books still existed, I think that for the most part e-readers are the future, and so I changed it up. Instead of buying books, he bought cartridges to fit in to his e-reader. I basically just altered the line to read "They were small cartridges that could fit in to a mobile e-reader." I imagine the e-reader being like a Kindle, but like I said you get books in small cartridges like a Nintendo DS. Obviously you have downloads as well, but I don't want physical media to be permanently gone, plus I don't imagine a world where you can download things in a store. Even if it probably already exists. Anyway, on with the actual chapter. For once. Wheeeeeee.


A few hours later Trent walked back in to the bridge where Geoff was still reading his books. He looked up and smiled when he heard Trent walk in. 
“Hey,” Trent said, giving a quick wave. “You want to get on with those self defense lessons we talked about?” Geoff saved where he was in his book on his e-reader and set it down. “Sure” he said, standing up and walking towards the door. 
“You alright?” Trent asked, noticing the look on his face. Geoff gave a little grimace but he was still smiling. “Yeah, I'm just not really looking forward to getting my ass handed to me.” Trent laughed and patted him on the back before marching him through the door. 
“I'll go easy on you. Come on, let's go to the cargo hold. There's plenty of room there.” 

When they reached the cargo hold Trent took his shirt off, explaining that he hates it when his clothes get sweaty. Geoff followed suit but regretted his decision when he compared his body to Trent's. While Trent was very athletic and rather muscular, Geoff, while in good health, did not possess much in the way of muscle. Trent decided to see if Geoff at least had some stamina so he set him to run around the cargo hold. Occasionally the ship moved and Geoff fell over. 
“Why does that happen?” he said, breathing heavily due to his exertion. He had fallen over three times now and was rubbing his backside. 
“That's just the nav-computer moving the ship so that we don't hit anything. Don't worry, we're still moving in a straight line, and we won't get lost. You didn't think we were the only people here in hyperspace did you? It's one dimension, we don't get one each. Now run!” Geoff shook his head, slapped his cheeks, and started running again. For some reason he had entertained the thought that they were the only people in hyperspace. 

After about twenty minutes Geoff was bent over and breathing heavily. “You done?” Trent asked him. 
“Yeah...I'm out of it.” Geoff said. 
“Alright, time for you to try and hit me then.”. Geoff looked over at him with a shocked look on his face. 
“What?” he said, while still panting. 
“Hit me,” Trent said, hitting himself on the chest. “If you can that is.” Geoff looked where Trent had hit himself and noticed the scar over his heart again. 
“Say, what's with that scar anyway? Don't you heal anything?” Trent looked down at his chest, at the scar. 
“Oh, that? I'll tell you if you can hit me.” 
“Somehow I knew you'd say that. Can't I take a minute to rest?”
“Nope,” Trent said, shaking his head. “You've got to push yourself. It won't matter if you get me while you're in top condition. If you're going to hit me, do it while you're exhausted. Plus this way you're actually earning that story.” Geoff groaned, stood up, and started running towards Trent. Trent moved out of the way easily, laughing at Geoff. Geoff was able to keep trying for about fifteen minutes but eventually he was just too out of breath and had to take a break. While he was sat down Trent went to get him a drink of water. 
“I guess you'll have to wait for that story then huh?” Trent said with a grin.
“I'll find out one day. You could just let me win you know?” Geoff replied after taking a drink.
“Yeah but then you wouldn't of earned it kid.”
“I told you not to call me kid” Geoff said, flailing out with his arm, and hitting Trent in the face. “Hey,” he said in disbelief, “I hit you! You owe me!” he said, laughing. Trent laughed himself and walked out of the cargo hold. 
“Doesn't count, I wasn't prepared.” 
“It does count!” Geoff shouted, finishing the rest of his drink and running out of the room after him. “Tell me!”
“Maybe later.” Trent replied, leaving Geoff making a sour face.


  1. Good for you for getting some more writing in! I need to do that too - it's been far to long, pretty soon I'm going to forget my main character's names. LOL I also love that you edited it to reflect keeping up with the time but also kept a bit of nostalgia in there too; I'd do the same. I hate to think of paperback as things of the past...

  2. Well former President Bush said, "We don't have books anymore. We have ipads." And he would never lie to me.

  3. Moral of the story: you should always be prepared! ;D

    Good to see you're writing on IS again! Felt like a bit of a short chapter though, can't wait for the next one!

  4. good read, but why do u spell Jeff as Geoff? every time i see that name is say it as Gee-off. lol

  5. Aww I shouldve been longer! Great as usual!

  6. Loved the scene where he actually hit him. Great character interaction! This is really good, I love your writing. xxx

  7. I think books will still be out there for at least another 1000 years...

  8. Sounds like we have a Bruce Lee/Chuck Norris style bro-bonding in the making!
    For the fights, I'd recommend you to get some books on fighting styles of any sort (preferably more than one book on more than one style). It'll help the story, because Trent, because he's immortal, would know heaps of fighting styles, and he could be testing Geoff on which one would suit him best. It'd add credibility to the story (I guess) and make the fights even more enjoyable. Like, when you said he kept trying for 15 minutes, it kinda took me away from the actual fighting in the story. It seemed like you were rushing it. If we actually looked into the fighting, it'd been really top-notch.
    Hope you don't think bad of the criticism (I tried to make it constructive).

  9. this is the story where he gets hit (and hurt and crying and..) and then you'll just smile devilishly and say "well, you ask for it"

  10. Trent you spoilsport! LOL!! Tell Geoff (and the rest of us) already!!
    :-) Take care

  11. Awesome writing as per usual Mark, you've managed to create a seriously interesting and awesome character in Trent, great work with him mate.


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