Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Romance

To be honest there were a few words beginning with R that I thought about using, but none I really felt could be turned in to a whole post. I thought I would give it a shot with "romance".

It's no well-guarded secret that I am, or at least consider myself to be, hopelessly romantic. I have tried several times, and I have failed several times, in that particular venture. But I actually still hold out a little hope that one day will be my day. I'm still a "hopeless romantic" though.

Romance seems to be something that has itself become, almost ironically perhaps, romanticized. Movies, books, and television give people a warped view on just what romance is, and what a relationship is. For me though that was more done by my youth. But that is another story for never. I can be considered quite charming though. This doesn't mean that you can discount my honeyed words. I always say what I mean, and mean what I say. When it comes to trying to butter people up, I fail really bad. If I say sweet things to you, I'm not trying to get in to your pants, I genuinely think and feel that way about you. If I call you pretty, to me you are, and if I call you beautiful, to me, you are.

I think this is another problem romantic people have. There are people who know just what a woman wants to hear and use that to score, multiple times. Women seem to have apprehensions about sweet and charming guys. It's hard to convince someone you're genuine. If someone doesn't believe something you say, then chances are that they aren't ever going to. There are some arguments that you just can't win.

I myself have trouble believing sweet words. I've been used and manipulated before. If you compliment me, chances are I'll question it. A few of you here have seen examples of this. I can accept that I am kind, and sweet, and gentle, but if someone says it to me, I would doubt it immediately, and wonder just what they want. This can lead me to be perhaps too cautious with other people. I have to be willing to trust. But, trust is a matter for another day.

For now, let me leave you with these words. There are some genuinely romantic guys (and gals) who really do mean everything they say to you, and about you, and are not just out for one thing, or in the case of girls, three things (you have two boobs, they each count as one thing).

I consider myself to be one of them, but whether or not I am is really up for you to decide, mahal.

PS Sorry if I've just butchered a language there.The last time I tried I was right.

51 comments:

  1. I'm not one whose much into being a romantic, god awful at it, and hopelessly feel stupid.

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  2. I love it that you're so romantic!

    Sometimes it frustrates me that romance now has a disgustingly sweet, and often very fake, connotation that people are unable to get around. If two people are in love - that's romance enough for me :) Flowers, candlelit dinners, chocolates... all that's fine - but in my mind it isn't what romance is all about. It's not so much about the expression - more about what's really there underneath.

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    1. Aye there's a lot more to romance than that. Those little moments of bliss and peace found with eachother, the thought that someone really loves you, it means more than all the chocolate in the world :)

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  3. I'm only hopelessly romantic when I'm watching Korean series :)

    but I honestly wanted to fall in love..(",)

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    1. Here's me thinking you were quite happy being single :P

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  4. This is a really sweet post (:

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    1. Well, I am a really sweet guy :)

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  5. I'm honestly with you on all of this Mark, I'm the same in that I'm a completely and utterly hopeless romantic and I can't help that even though it sucks, good post man.

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    1. Hey, some day will be your day. You have a girl who said she'd hug you even covered in puke, that's a good start :)

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  6. I think romance is different things to different people.
    One of the more romantic things hubby did for me was way back in the beginning of our relationship. I wanted to go to a concert and just couldn't afford it.
    I came home one from work one day and he had bought me the concert CD. OK not the same as going but one of the most thoughtful things ever. (He couldnt afford tickets either)
    That was more special than long stem roses because he knew it would make me happy

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    1. That is really sweet of him :) It's not tickets, but it's the next best thing. Really I should have made a paragraph or two about that. With Leah for example, even though she couldn't eat the cake I made, she still loved it. That someone would do that for her made her smile. The messages I've made for her did as well. It's the thought, the fact that someone knows what makes you happy, without you having to say. I like roses sure, but I don't like being that generic, I want some thought to go in to things. It's not the act, it's the reason.

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  7. Yes, exactly. Some of my feelings on the matter, so much.
    It's stupid really. One half ruins it for the others.

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    1. I think that it's more than a 50/50 divide. But who is the majority? The players, or the romantics? I think there are more romantics out there than people know, everyone just focuses on the worst.

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  8. Another, another story for never is how porn changes the way people think sex will be.
    <>
    I think romance is all about the uncustomary things (as aposed to the chocolate, roses nonsense.) I plan to make root-beer cupcakes for my Sebastien's birthday because I know he hasn't had one can since we moved to Paris.
    Le sigh.

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    1. That is quite true. Movies do it as well though, not just porn.

      That was a pretty sweet move :) It's not just about the gesture, it's about the why. I can pull of chocolates and all the cliches, because I would have a why.

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  9. It's funny because I'm not the romantic one in the relationship, my husband is. He is very romantic - he buys me cards, sends texts during the day to let me know he loves me, tells me how pretty I am and I always have to remember to do those types of things. For him, it just happens naturally.

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    1. I think some people are just a lot more romantic than others, but there's nothing really wrong with someone who isn't.

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  10. I don't know if I have ever been used. I suppose it's never mattered to me. If I am in a relationship and find it out it was all a lie, it wasn't to me, and that's all that has to matter. However, I have been deceitful with words and actions. I am guilty of speaking lover's promises. Oh you know, the whole, "I will always love you," and, "I will never leave you." A person will say those things convincingly and with so much emotion, but they are lies. I just get lost in the moment. But a lover will remember the words you spoke to him/her, and they will resent you for it when you leave.

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    1. I think that sometimes a person can say those things and mean them. Or at the very least, believe them to be true at the time. I once prayed that my ex would find happiness, even if it was without me, and I would be happy. Well, I got what I wanted in the end I guess, and it didn't make me happy. You have an interesting view on being used too.

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  11. I know in my time I have written some very romantic letters to girls. or said romantic things etc and so forth... They did not really register with them, I think not because they didn't believe me, but just because they were coming from me, and not the idealized man of their dreams. They were just not that into me, as they say on Oprah. I interpreted it, that they just didn't take me seriously, not that they didn't believe me... I don't know though. Maybe it was a little bit of both. Romance is no doubt over romanticized... I can probably count the number of truly successful romances I know of on one hand. Most famous romances tend to last a short period of time, before our so-called romantic heroes fall out of love with each other. Or if you want to look at it with some really poop colored goggles over one's eyes...ALL romantic relationships end in tragedy, as one half will always pass away before the other one, leaving their soul mate once again in this world to fend for themselves...alone.

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    1. It's best not to think of it like that though. I can think of four successful relationships I know, and maybe two people I would say have found their soul mates. True romance is rare, but it is a beautiful thing. It can be tough not looking like the idealized men of dreams that people so envision, but I don't think it can totally stop you.

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  12. I am terrible at being romantic. Like you, if someone compliments me, I usually have to question it. Anyway, since I'm so horrible at putting my emotions into words, I usually just buy stuff for the significant other. Probably not a good habit as I'm not exactly rich... or even financially stable for that matter.

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    1. I'm not good with verbalizing feelings either usually. Or I'm too good, which is why I can't butter people up even though I'm so very charming.

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  13. first word i think of is RAWR, is that even a word? or like rawesome. or like RAAAWWRRR FUCK YOU IM A DINOSAUR SUCK MY DICK. heh alrite i apologize. I'll stop.

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    1. I some times say shit like that to my girlfriend, and she goes with it, cause thats what love is.... going with the others weird shit!

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    2. If she actually sucked your dick because you said that to her, it seems almost like a slap in the face to all the guys who try so hard to get a girl. I can approve of that actually.

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  14. I think of my romance with my girlfriend, its definitely not like the ones you'd see in movies or TV! Romance should be spontanius between two unique people! (and both parties should contribute!)

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    1. That's the point and ideal of a good relationship :) There are people who say that no effort should be put in, but I don't believe that.

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  15. I'm lucky I have someone to put up with me at all!

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    1. I'd count myself lucky to have that if I had it :)

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  16. I thought I was hopelessly romantic as well up until recently. Now I'm with my girlfriend of a year and a half and hope to spend many more years with her.

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    1. You've advanced to simply being a romantic, so well done sir :)

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  17. I think it's sort of cute you're a romantic. I'm the total opposite. My siblings make fun of me and say I should have been born a man.... Kind of glad I wasn't, because that would really suck for the women in my life.

    xo

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    1. I am a man though O_o There are romantic guys out there. There are some very unromantic women too.

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  18. im a horrible romantic, infact im so bad i never put in the effort to 'make a move'. Low confidence, what can you do :/

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  19. HAHAHAHAHAH this guy ^ ^ :')

    Sounds like me. I am such a horrible romantic. I suck. I'm hopeless. Please don't look at me. Please. Ugh.

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    1. But if people don't look at you, how do you hope to find someone? Then again, I guess that's where the whole "hopeless" thing comes in to it.

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  20. I am also a self confessed hopeless romantic. Yet even so, I also find it hard to believe when guys compliment me. Except Jed because I know he means it.. hehe.. It's hard to pretend for 5 years.

    Anyway, did I read the last word, before the PS, correctly? Mahal is a Filipino word for Love. I bet Leah taught you that. :)

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    1. It is kinda hard to pretend for five years but I think I could do it :) You've found someone, you're not allowed to be hopeless anymore :P

      You did indeed read that correctly. I taught it myself actually so I could say it to Leah :) Having it at the end there was a subtle nod to her.

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  21. I'm not romantic, and possibly never will be, but I will agree on the manipulation part.
    Although my trouble was nothing compared to yours.

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    1. Well you don't know that really.

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  22. Seems so foreign to me to fake romance just to get in a girl's pants. If all I want from somebody is sex, I try to make that clear. Sometimes it works out, more often it doesn't...

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    1. I think there are some girls actually who don't mind that approach, and would rather people be straight up like that.

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  23. I once tried to bat my eyelashes, and the guy I was seeing at the time asked me if I had something stuck in it.

    That should give you a fair clue about what I think of the R-word.

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    1. Well that's more his fault than yours.

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  24. I'm like that sometimes. When people say something sweet or just precious about it, I tend to question it. Especially when they're coming from boys. I know it's wrong.. I mean, not all men are like that. Using beautiful words to get into my pants. Still.. it's quite hard to trust someone with a very sweet tongue.

    It makes me giggle, though. I'd admit that. :p

    I'm a romantic, too. Very. And it's so good that you are, too, Mahal! <3

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    1. I don't think you've ever questioned me yet though actually. I'll have to ask you that on Twitter. It can be very hard to trust someone with a sweet tongue, but I only use mine for good!

      I know you giggle, and I enjoy making you giggle :P You make me giggle too sometimes <3 It's good you're romantic too, we can both be romantic together xD I'm deadly serious.

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  25. I tend to be overly-sarcastic if I'm talking to someone I like. I get really nervous and just end up coming across as a bit of a dick as opposed to a nice girl you'd want to take home to your mother :/

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  26. I can relate to the compliments thing. Whenever someone gives me a compliment I instantly wonder if there are ulterior motives.

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