Saturday, 16 June 2012

I Wrote Once More


The title of the post is a not so subtle (especially anymore) reference to the title from yesterday's post. Anyway, I'm saying I was writing once more because I wrote this last night a bit before I went to bed. Originally I wrote a new chapter much earlier in the week. I was so depressed though that it wasn't very good at all. Geoff got moody and argued with Trent. I think this was a total deviation from how they really are. The second half-ish is part of the original chapter, but for the most part this is a rewrite. I would have rewritten the entire thing but I wanted to keep some things I had already written still in there, such as the revelation that Trent SPOILER ALERT.

So yep, enjoy the chapter and if you want to catch up, there is a dapper new Immortal Space page up there.
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“Say Trent, why did you defend me back there?”. Geoff was taking Trent to a shop that sold ship parts, and the question had been on his mind since they had left the club.
“What do you mean?” Trent replied, cocking his head in wonder.
“Well,” Geoff started, looking away. “I didn't do what you told me to. I should have just watched the fights. I probably deserved what I was going to get from that guy.” Trent shook his head and sighed. “Ain't nobody would have deserved what that guy would have done to you. You won your money fair and square. He was going to beat you for something you didn't do. Even if you did he was about twice your size, and it wouldn't have been fair. Plus I promised the good doctor I'd keep you safe.” Geoff gave a non-committal sigh and kept walking. “You only protected me because Dr. Osbourne asked you to?" Trent ruffled his hair and patted him on the back. "You're a good kid, I'd want to keep you safe anyway." Geoff shook his head and swatted Trent's hand away. He felt a bit better about the situation. "I can take care of myself." he said. Trent threw back his head and laughed, getting a few looks from the people they were passing. Not that he minded. It was hard not to draw attention when you were dressed in a long coat and hat. "Sure you could have. That's why you were telling me just now you would have deserved to get your ass kicked." Now it was Geoff's turn to laugh. "Hey, I said I'd deserve it, not that it would happen. I could have taken that guy, he didn't look so tough." Trent moved in front of him and cut him off. "Hey I don't look so tough, you think you could take me?". Geoff threw a weak punch and managed to hit Trent in the chest, causing Trent to laugh again. "That tickled. Oh I'm shaking in my boots now." Geoff's cheeks flushed and he threw a better punch. When it hit Trent stopped laughing, but he was still smiling. "Now that was better, but still, you sure you don't want any self defence lessons?"
"You'd be willing to teach me?" Geoff replied. A bit skeptical but still hopeful. "Sure," Trent replied. "If you tell me why you'd wanna know how to fight." Geoff shrank in to himself, looking a lot less cocky than he did before.. “You were right. About that guy in the club. I couldn't have taken him, but you could easy. You can do anything and I couldn't do nothing. If that guy had attacked me then I wouldn't have been able to do anything. I wish I was more like you.” Trent stopped, shocked, and laughed so hard he was bent over, holding his stomach.
“You wish you were more like me? This might come as a shock kid but sometimes I wish I was more like you.” Geoff was indeed shocked at this. So much so that he stared at Trent for about ten seconds before shaking himself back to reality. “You wish you were more like me?” Geoff asked.
“Sure do,” Trent said, patting him on the back. “You're happy, you're carefree. You still have so much to discover and do. While there might still be a whole lot left for me to do, I've got nothing on you kid. You have the world, and everything beyond it to see. I might be able to handle myself sure, but I wasn't born like this. It took a lot of training, and most of it was painful. I've been through a lot of things I wasn't sure I'd survive too.” Geoff was, once again, stunned. “But, you're immortal. You can survive anything.”
“I wasn't immortal back then.” Trent stated.
“What do you mean? You weren't born immortal?”
“Nope”, said Trent. “I'll have to tell you the story another time though.”
“What? Why?!”. Geoff was getting angry. “You're doing it again! Why won't you tell me? You think I can't handle it?”
“It's nothing like that” Trent said, shaking his head. “It's just that we've been talking so long we've actually reached the shop, look” he said, pointing in front of him. Geoff followed where he pointed and saw that they had indeed reached their destination. The parts shop was just across the road from them. It was a small looking shop. The window displays were full of small parts, such as basic engines. A sign above the door read “The Parts Emporium” and under that was a smaller sign that read “No ship, no shoes, no service”. Geoff shook his head one more time, and the two of them crossed the road and walked inside. For now thoughts of defending himself would have to wait.

11 comments:

  1. Well, whatever changes you made to it - you did a good job. I really liked the "No ship, no shoes, no service" line ;-) That was cute! And I thought your conversation was particularly good this time. Very natural and alive!

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  2. "Immortal Space" would make a good movie I think. Anyway, I have an idear. You could do a reading of "Immortal Space" and podcast it (you probably have done that sort of thing before, I vaguely remember you talking about it). You could even start back from the beginning, but put in some of your commentary to add for the people who have read them before. Or if that is too massive a project, on days when you feel you are short on ideas for blogging, do a reading and commentary on some of your favorite parts. I think that would be just awesome personally, but that's just my humble opinion.

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  3. I'm curious how Trent achieved his immortality as well.

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  4. Yesss, awesome new ship parts. Also, as others said, interested in the origin of Trent's immortality. But that'll take another three or so chapters to reappear, won't it? ;D

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  5. Sometimes writing while depressed could be beneficial, you connect with different words in a different way

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  6. I find when I write and I'm in a bit of a funk it not only helps open up a bit of more creative side for me, it also lightens my mood at the same time...did it do that for you?

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  7. Tell us how hes immortal ! haha

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  8. You should really keep up the writing. It's pretty good. :)

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  9. Whatever it is, go with it....you will feel better and sometimes when you are down you get more inspired. Sick and twisted as that is...

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  10. I really like the rapport between Geoff and Trent!!! Well done you! Take care
    x

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