Saturday, 30 June 2012

Trent; Origins. It Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It

To make up for last weeks short chapter, that was about half the length of a regular chapter, here is a long chapter that is about half as long as a normal one, coming in at one and a half pages of A4. This is one that will probably suffer many rewrites when I actually go back and give things a look over, as I'm not 100% happy with it. It details Trent's origin story. While this is the story I originally planned for him, I feel like it should change like a lot of other details. As such I left room open for it to change, and that this might not be his absolutely true origins. Anyway, I've done enough spoiling of my own work. Enjoy!

The shop service was pretty efficient;their new engine was waiting for them when they got to the shipyard. They directed the delivery men to their ship and had it moved in to the engine room. After giving them a small fee the delivery guys took the old engine back with them for scrapping.
“You really know how to install that yourself?” Trent asked Geoff, still a bit uncertain about the whole thing.
“Sure do,” Trent replied. “You wanna help me get it in?” Geoff picked up the tools and handed them over with a smile. “If you'll let me.” he replied. So together the two of them set to work installing the new engine. It wasn't exactly tough to do. It's a matter of knowing which wires go where, and screwing the right things in to the right slots. While they were working they did have a chance to talk a few things through.
“So exactly how did you become immortal then?” Geoff asked, while holding a panel down while Trent screwed it on. Trent gave a sigh and put down his drill.
“You really wanna know that badly?” he asked.
“If you'll tell me.” Geoff replied.
“Alright, I'll tell you. We'll have to swap jobs though. You screw this in for me and I'll tell you the story.” They swapped places and Geoff started drilling while Trent gave another sigh before starting his story.
“Well as you know I was in the army. I wasn't in the regular army though. I was in a secret section. After a few years they put me in a super soldier program. I'm not entirely sure of just what happened, but I remember I went in to the base one day and I think I was knocked out in the elevator. I woke up again of course. I was in a vat of liquid and I had a load of wires in my body. I was in a ton of pain as well. I couldn't see properly and every time I moved it hurt like Hell. When I was able to get up to get out, I was hit by a bullet right in the head. I didn't think I could hurt more but I was wrong. It didn't kill me though. I fell back in to the liquid but just climbed back up. I got out of the vat and walked towards the guy who shot me. He kept shooting me but I just kept walking and when I reached him I reached out and snapped his neck right there. After that some people came in to the room. They told me that they had somehow made me unkillable. 'Course I was also the only one who the experiment had succeeded on. Thanks to the guy I killed I could guess what happened to the ones who failed, assuming the pain didn't kill them. They told me there was some bad news though. The experiment had taken a few months to complete and my wife had been killed during the experiment. The pain, from the bullets, the betrayal, the loss, everything that had happened to me, made me snap. I took all of them out in a fit of rage. After that I blacked out, and woke up again what I think was a few days later. I was able to look at all the research and it seems like the liquid and everything they did with me messed with my genes. I deleted all the research and burned down the facility. I didn't like the idea of anyone playing God like that. We were supposed to die, and I knew what would happen if immortality fell in to the wrong hands. I knew how badly things could go, and I didn't want that. So I took it all out. That, as far as I know, is how I became who I am.” he finished with a solemn look at the panel, unable to look Geoff in the face.
“Wow.” Geoff said. He thought on the story Trent had just told him for a few minutes while they worked in silence. “Wait I got a question. What did you mean when you said “as far as I know”? Isn't that the actual story?” Geoff asked. “I mean, that's how you became immortal right? They messed with your body?” Trent looked up at him and grinned, as he always did. “Well I think there are plenty of holes in that story myself.” Trent admitted. “I'm not sure if that's the full story. Why was I the only one who survived their experiments? Wouldn't they have backed up their research? Why ain't there no other immortals? I don't doubt what I did that day, but sometimes I doubt some of the details. Maybe I'll know the full story some day, but for now it seems the only one who would know it is me, and I sure as Hell don't know if that's the right story. Now come on, we got an engine to install and you didn't do no work while I was talking.” Geoff grinned and started attaching the panel. They finished installing the engine in silence except for asking for tools, and Trent giving Geoff instructions on what to do. Within an hour their new engine was good to go, and Trent ran a few tests to make sure.
“Well this is it kid, you sure you're ready?” he asked from the pilot seat. Geoff was sat beside him looking pale, but determined.
“Sure as I'll ever be.” he replied before closing his eyes in fright.
“What you bein' scared for? You've been up in this thing before.”
“Yeah,” Geoff replied, still not opening his eyes. “But you have to go a lot faster to get in to space.”
“Don't blink or you'll miss it” Trent said with a laugh before lifting the ship up and out of the atmosphere. Geoff did open his eyes in time, and he didn't miss the beautiful sight that greeted him when they left the atmosphere. All around him he could see stars and other planets. There were a few meteorites too. One or two hit the ship but the shields protected them and reduced the asteroids to dust. The stars were an endless sea of fire and it was odd to see a frozen meteorite and a flaming star at the same time. The way the light danced off the ice made Geoff ooh and ahh. He felt like he could look out the window all day until Trent hit the hyperspace button and everything vanished. Replaced by a never ending sea of white.
“Where are we?” Geoff asked. Confused at what had just happened.
“We're in hyperspace now.” Trent replied, setting the ship to maximum speed. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the chair. “We're going pretty far, so I had to take us in to hyperspace. Don't worry though I'll come out with plenty of distance between us and Serataur. You'll get plenty of time to admire the sights.”
“Hyperspace?” Geoff asked.
“You tellin' me you dreamed of coming up here for all them years, and never learned about hyperspace? What do they teach you in school boy?” Geoff blushed lightly but spoke with bravado. “I know what hyperspace is.” he said. “You just caught me a little of guard. Besides, I didn't know what it was actually like.”
“Well what did they tell you about hyperspace?”
“That it was some kind of alternate dimension, or parallel universe. In this world there are no laws of physics or anything like that. There's also nothing at all. You can go as fast as you want for as long as you want. You'll never hit anything, because there's nothing there.”
“Right,” Trent said with a smile. “But what's it's best quality? Why is it so useful for space travel?”
“That's easy,” Geoff said, smiling back. “Position is relative. If you move in this world, you'll come out how far away you've moved here. If you came here, and moved a few metres in one direction, you'd come out a few metres off where you came in.”
“Ding ding ding, we have a winner!” Trent said with a sarcastic smile, patting Geoff on the back.
“What did I win?”
“You get to sit still and make sure we don't hit nothing, in a sea of nothing.” Trent said, laughing as he walked out of the cockpit.
“Sounds like fun,” Geoff muttered as he sat down and pulled out one of his maintenance books for a bit of studying. An endless sea of white is bound to get boring eventually.

Friday, 29 June 2012

Get To Know Me

This isn't really the post I wanted to make today, but time is running out and Podbean is once again being shit. So expect a bonus podcast some time next week. After Podbean died I tried to attach the audio to a still image and just upload the video, but there wasn't enough time to make that, so I had to do this instead. Once again I'm stealing ideas, and once again, it's from Hazel. A few weeks ago she posted a series of questions, and then got people to choose which ones she would answer at a later date. So that's what I'm going to do now. I hope this post gets more response than yesterdays, I got 8 comments at the time I went to bed. Fuck. Anyway, a huge list of questions follows. You can pick as many as you want, and I'll answer them next week. Or Sunday. Or whenever.

  1. What exactly would you do if you saw your favourite celebrity?
  2. A video that makes you laugh out loud.
  3. If you switch places with someone for one day, who would it be?
  4. What would you like to accomplish this year?
  5. Who is your role model and why?
  6. If you bumped into the person you dislike or if you were stuck with them in an elevator, what would you do or say?
  7. Picture of you with friends being silly.
  8. Something you regret.
  9. A song you listen to when your working out or cleaning your room.
  10. Whats on your mind lately.
  11. A song from the 90s.
  12. What do like and dislike about yourself.
  13. An awkward moment that happened today or in the past.
  14. Favourite T.V show and why.
  15. Your favourite blogs.
  16. Places you want to visit.
  17. Celebrity crushes.
  18. What you saw at the news and talk about it.
  19. Favourite holiday and why?
  20. Your dream date.
  21. Celebrities you would like to see working together in a movie or tv show?
  22. Favourite theme song.
  23. The best day of your life and why?
  24. Favourite quote.
  25. Have you ever did something bad or lied to your parents but got away with it?
  26. Get a blank paper and close your eyes and draw, post a picture afterwards.
  27. Rant about anything.
  28. Something you hate about yourself.
  29. Something you love about yourself.
  30. Something you have to forgive yourself for.
  31. Something you have to forgive someone for.
  32. Something you hope to do in your life.
  33. Something you hope you never have to do.
  34. Someone who has made your life worth living for.
  35. Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
  36. Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
  37. Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
  38. Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
  39. Something you never get compliments on.
  40. A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.
  41. A hero that has let you down.
  42. Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
  43. Someone or something you definitely could live without.
  44. A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
  45. Your views on gay marriage.
  46. What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
  47. Your views on drugs and alcohol.
  48. Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? (Scenario) 
  49. Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
  50. Something you wish you had done in your life.
  51. Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
  52. The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
  53. Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
  54. What’s the best thing going for you right now?
  55. What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
  56. Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
  57. A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
  58. List 20 10 random facts about yourself.
  59. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
  60. Describe your relationship with your parents.
  61. List 10 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
  62. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
  63. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
  64. What is your dream job, and why?
  65. What are 5 passions you have?
  66. List 10 3 people who have influenced you and describe how.
  67. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
  68. Describe 10 5 pet peeves you have.
  69. Describe a typical day in your current life.
  70. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
  71. Describe 5 strengths you have.
  72. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
  73. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
  74. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
  75. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
  76. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
  77. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
  78. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
  79. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
  80. List your top 5 3 hobbies and why you love them.
  81. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
  82. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
  83. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
  84. What is your favourite part of your body and why?
  85. What is your love language?
  86. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
  87. List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for.

If you're keen eyed you'll note the first question is missing. It's a picture, and as such was not viable. YAY. PS I can't remember all the questions but if there are ones involving pictures, THERE WILL BE NO PICTURES.


And spread the word, this post requires good feedback. GO FORTH AND SPREAD THE WORD.


Thursday, 28 June 2012

Girl Gamers And More Poetry

This is another two partish podcast with the first part being a nice long rant about girl gamers and gamers in general. I raise the most valid points that I respect the bejesus out of girl gamers, and that gaming is not gender specific, and as such it doesn't matter what gender you are when we get our game on. The second half is more poetry of course at the request, once again, of miss Nellievaughn. Though I have to say I'm not too pleased with how that went this time. I think I used up all my emotion in the rant. If you notice this is late, it is. I couldn't upload the podcast last night because the server kept dying (on the same day I had an internet upgrade AND paid my Podbean subscription, OH BOY) but it uploaded just fine this morning. Enjoy!

Or don't.

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Uneducated Education Secretary

Our Education Secretary Michael Gove has proposed a new idea where coursework and the GCSEs will be replaced by one hard test. This is an absurd idea. Tests are what is wrong with the education system. We should have more coursework and less tests. The biggest problem with the education system is that people are taught to pass tests. They're pumped full of facts and what they actually learn is not a lot. Coursework changes this because you have to work out a lot of things for yourself and put everything together to make sense of it all. With science coursework especially. You do experiments and come to conclusions yourself and find out how things work. Not just that they work, but how and why.

I know that its because of tests that I was able to get passing grades because my coursework was sub-par. But I do acknowledge how important the coursework can be. When you're learning to pass tests you can still learn a fair bit, but its not all applicable. There are some exams that do teach you a fair amount, such as history and English literature. In both of those you study something, often a piece of writing, and then draw conclusions based on it. There are no right and wrong answers as long as you can back up and justify what you say. You can even get a point if you come to a totally incorrect conclusion, but have sound reasoning. Analytical skills are very useful.

Not every test is like this really though. Plus not everyone picks up these little things. There are some things that will probably never be in an exam. Tests are important, its good to know what people know so you can know what they might need help with, but if you teach them how to pass the exams then you're not really finding out what they know, you find out what you've told them.

There's not a great deal of stuff I actually retained from school. I think if I took my GCSEs again I'd fail. But as you can see I know enough Maths and English to get through life, which is always good.

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Gaming Misogyny

I've covered before the subject of gender choice in games, and how it's important (the post was literally called Gender Choice In Games if you want to read it, I think) and now I'm going to talk about gender outside the gaming world. A girl gamer called Anita Sarkeesian has set up a kickstarter project for a series of videos in which she will "explore, analyze and deconstruct some of the most common tropes and stereotypes of female characters in games.  The series will highlight the larger recurring patterns and conventions used within the gaming industry rather than just focusing on the worst offenders." Basically she's going to examine how women are portrayed in video games.

Now, girl gamers is a whole other rant. I love you guys, really, but you can get on my nerves sometimes. Like I said though, whole other rant. Male gamers can piss me off too, THAT is what this rant is about. See, she's managed to get a lot of unwanted, unnecessary, and quite frankly unkind (that's a tame word for it but I love alliterations) "criticism" from the gaming community. It effectively amounts to "HURR DURR GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN". But it's still wrong.

Girls portrayed in games may have a tough break, but times are improving. Normally in games when girls are protagonists they're typically wearing very little, display whorish behavour, and are often over emotional. I'm looking at you almost every girl in a fighting game and in Warcraft ever. Especially World Of Warcraft. I read a post on their forums once where someone was complaining about how tight and revealing the armour is.

Like I said though times are changing. A lot of games these days have a choice between genders. There are some strong female protagonists out there. Look at the Final Fantasy games. A lot of their protagonists are female, and most of them are just more than a pair of tits. Rikku doesn't count. Boy was she over-sexualised. Yes Yuna (in X-2 at least), Ashe and Lightning wore trace amounts of clothing (plus Penelo I guess) but for the most part they were strong individuals and very good characters. Seth Balmore from Lost Odyssey is another example. The best example though is probably Samus Aran from Metroid. Yes she got a lot more stereotypical in Super Smash Brothers Brawl but there was a long time when not many people knew it was a woman under that armour. She was just the ultimate badass.

Women in games have come a long way, and  they will continue to do so. Male characters are sexualised as well I feel I should say. A lot of things are sexualised in this day and age. For some reason. Times they are a changing. This for me as an example of the majority ruining it for the minority. Not every male gamer is a sexist pig, and I hope the girl gamers out there know this. We're not all bad. There are many art forms and mediums where women are portrayed the same way.

Rather than call every guy out there a huge sexist dick we have to meet in the middle. By blaming eachother we're just delaying the inevitable, and good, result that will come from this. A more acceptable view of women in every form, not just games. We're working on it. We can only get there together though.

Wow it's been a while since I had a good old fashioned rant like that.

Monday, 25 June 2012

Back In The Game

Even though I seemed happier last week I wasn't all that happy. I was still putting things off, such as checking my emails. So I had over forty unread emails. I was way behind in Wordpress blogs I was following and such. Anyway, hopefully I am actually feeling slightly better, and actually meaning that. Though my attempts to alter my sleeping pattern have failed miserably. Every time I wake up I fall straight back to sleep and wake up an hour or so later. I'm experimenting with having two alarms. I just really don't like sleeping at night. I don't know if I would actually go as far as to say I'm nocturnal, but I still think the days I slept from midday to the evening contained the best sleep schedule I'd ever had. I get really tired in the afternoon, and then it just starts to go away if I stay awake long enough. Anyway, I've talked enough nonsense for now. It's Monday, so I'm going to post a good old fashioned round up.

Tuesday I talked about my experiences with Xbox Live, and the lack of foul mouthed youngsters I've so far come across. I also had a little moan about how my Netflix selection is severely crippled because I had the fortune of being born outside the US. It's kind of sad that even the British programs they have are incomplete. Then again they did just add the first series of the new Doctor Who, so maybe I'll get the Matt Smith episodes one day.

Wednesday I celebrated my first bloggerversary or however the Hel you're supposed to spell it, and entered my second year of blogging. Though either people didn't read the whole thing, and were just confused, and thought I was entering my third year of blogging. We'll be lucky to see that one folks.

Thursday I finally finished the whole A-Z thing. Originally I had planned to not take a day off, and do all 26 posts in a row leading to my birthday. I finished about a month after my birthday. I fucking rule. In order to cheat I just talked a little bit, for it was a podcast, about the letter z itself, and how people pronounce it differently. I then went on to read some poems for Nellievaughn, complete with taking 12 minutes to read Panthea by Oscar Wilde.

Friday was a post written entirely on my phone. It wasn't as annoying as you'd imagine to write a near 400 word post on a phone. It was about how David Cameron is a hypocritical cunt by calling out Jimmy Carr on his tax dodging, while being a colossal wanker and seemingly not caring when corporations cheat us out of BILLIONS in tax money. If you want to see me full of rage, you should read that post.

Saturday There wasn't too much to see. I had a headache Friday and so didn't do any writing, which meant there was no chapter of Immortal Space ready. I begged forgiveness and posted a Bryan Adams song. That is all.

On Sunday though I did finally post a new chapter in the story. It's worth looking at just to see me cry at how much I failed because I didn't do any research before starting and now there's been a huge shift. We're leaving the solar system baby. Well, soon. Also Fang you were correct that it was kind of short. Normally the chapters I post are about 1 A4 piece of paper long, and that fell short of that. You have a good eye.

Well that's that for the round up. Hopefully this week I'll make more progress with my reading, writing, and sleeping. This seems like one of those situations where I can only get one out of three, and must choose carefully.

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Another Late Chapter

As I said yesterday I hadn't done any writing, and I was hoping to write some more yesterday instead. I ended up at my sisters for a while and did a bit of writing there. I ran in to a slight pitfall though. I made the mistake of applying math and I realized that if you move at light speed you'll end up at Mars from Earth in about a quarter of an hour. That's on average. The distance between here and Mars changes all the time. Anyway, the original plan was that we hadn't gotten past our solar system because I didn't really have the imagination to create a whole other planet. I'm just going to do what I do best though, and that's make it all up as I go along. Let this be a lesson to you people, LEARN AND RESEARCH BEFORE WRITING SOMETHING.  For now the situation is under control. So you can give this new chapter a shot and watch as I screw everything up.

When they walked in to the shop Trent walked straight to the counter while Geoff had a look around the shop. It was filled with an assortment of parts. There were engines, guns, and even some furniture for living quarters and containers for cargo holds. He even saw adverts for made to order parts such as hulls, where you could pay a bit extra for them to be custom made. He also saw a few manuals for ship maintenance and repair. They were small cartridges that could fit in to a mobile e-reader. He picked up a few of these, including a manual on the Piranha and took them to the counter where Trent was talking to the store owner, a man whose name tag declared him to be “David” about engines.
“Well I need something that can get me in to hyperspace. I'm headed to Serataur. You got anything in stock?” I can only see basic engines when I look around here.”
“I think I have a few in the back,” David said. “I'll just go check.” David turned and went through a door behind him.
“Maintenance, eh?” Trent said to Geoff, turning around and noticing the cartridges he was holding.
“Yeah” Geoff said, with a sheepish grin. “I like ships, and maybe I should learn more about them. Plus it could be handy to know how to fix something in a pinch. So I wanted to do a bit of reading up on it. You don't mind do you?”
“Nah,” Trent said, shaking his head. “If we have enough money left over we can get those too, and it'd give ya something to read on the journey.”
“If I can stop looking out the window long enough.” Geoff said with a grin.
“Well, I have trouble with it myself too.” Trent admitted.
“Haven't you seen it all a thousand times?”
“Yup, and I could see it a thousand more and it wouldn't be enough.”
The response Geoff was going to give was cut off as David came in from the back and said he had an engine. Trent and Geoff went in the back to take a look at it. It looked a little old, but still in good condition. “This can take you to half light speed so the journey should take a few days.” David said to them. “That alright?”
“That will be great thanks.” replied Trent, “how much is it?”. David flipped it over so a price tag was visible. It read “13,000 credits. No less, but I'll take more.” Trent took his bag of winnings from his pocket, along with Geoff's bet, and handed them both over.
“There should be 13,000 credits there. I'd also like these books the kid here has.”
David looked at the books, and then entered everything in to his cash register. The books together only cost 20 credits so most of the money from Geoff's bet was returned as it was. After thanking David and telling him which spaceport they were located at and reassuring him that he could fit it himself, Trent made his way out of the store with Geoff, who was carrying his books.
“I told you I was right to make that bet.” Geoff called, grinning, while Trent just sighed and shook his head. Geoff was right, but Trent didn't have to admit to it.

Saturday, 23 June 2012

My Apologies

I know that usually I post a new chapter of Immortal Space on Saturdays, and the very reason I decided to post it in weekly installments was to make sure I wrote something in it weekly, but I haven't written all week. Well, outside the blog. I may seem a little happier on the surface, but I'm still ever so dead inside. Last week I actually wrote that on Friday night as I said but yesterday I had a really bad headache, and couldn't think properly. I'll try and get something written today, but I don't know.

So, yes, apologies.

If that superb piece of man-meat known as Bryan Adams doesn't win your forgiveness, then nothing will. Even if the subject of the song does differ from the subject of this post.

Friday, 22 June 2012

Taxes Were Meant To Be Paid

This is a post I wrote on my phone yesterday while watching the news with my mum. It's one of two, the other of which will not become irrelevant, so it's okay. I should watch the news more often really. Sometimes I get lucky to pull out one post, let alone two in half an hour, written on my phone.

Superb funnyman Jimmy Carr has been in a bit of trouble lately because it turns out he's a tax dodger. What he's done, while technically not illegal its still a pretty big dick move for sure. He's not the only person who's done it though (remember Wesley Snipes? For some reason his tax dodging ended up as huge news) and so you might be wondering just why I'm bringing this to your attention.

The reason is two words. Fucking cunt. I mean, David "fucking cunt" Cameron has spoken against him because he wants to take the moral highground. Where was he when corporations, such as Vodafone, were skipping out on BILLIONS in tax? Carr may make a lot of money, and his evaded tax could pay for a lot, but there are people who's avoided tax equals the deficit in the budget. Effectively we'd be debt free if every tax dodger paid their fair share. Feck we'd probably be bathing in diamonds if they do.

What about Bono? He pays almost no tax. Here's a guy who tells people to donate to charities and save Africa and everything and he doesn't even pay tax. Not even to save his own country. I don't think you can preach so much, and be so moralistic, while remaining a massive twat. That's all Bono is to me, and that's pretty much all he'll ever be.

Tax dodging is a huge dick move, but there are some people who shouldn't be taking the moral high ground. Jimmy Carr has apologised for what he did, and will hopefully pay more tax in the future, but when will David Cameron apologise for fucking over the poor? When will he apologise for outpricing education? When will that son a whore apologise for all the shit he's forced on us?

TL;DR don't be a douche. Certainly don't be a douche and then call other people out on their douchebaggery.

Wow I really raged hard in this post. Can you tell I don't like Cameron much?

P.S I'm aware that insulting your opponent and not their stance/arguments is an ad hominem, a dick move in debate, but this ain't a debate, this is me calling a man a twat. When I want to argue about how he is such a massive twat, then I shall stop attacking him, and start attacking the fact that he really has outpriced education, and screwed over the poor. A part of me almost hopes that we get more "riots" this summer, hopefully during the olympics. Ahhhh I'd like to see him talk his way out of that one.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

A Z And Some Poetry

Thanks to the magic of staying up far later than I should have, and forcing myself to stay awake, I have been able to scrape together a podcast for you. In it I finish up my A-Z project about a month late, and then I had a very special treat for NellieVaughn. Who'd better listen to this or it's almost pointless. The rest of you can enjoy it don't worry. Now to slowly crawl to bed and die. Wait, you'll be reading this when I've regrettably woken back up.

PS Sorry bout all the sniffling. Again.

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Year Two

Some people may have noticed, and I did too don't worry, that my blogaversary happened quite recently. I was patiently waiting until a good time to commemorate it. Such as when "Y" came up and I felt like bending the rules once again.

Of all the people who thought I wouldn't last a year, I'm probably the person who thought it the most. Probably. It's been a pretty long journey. It's been mentally challenging sometimes, physically challenging others (yay for interrupted sleeping patterns!) but I've struggled through and I've even been posting once a day for maybe 10-11 months. I'd decide I have too blogaversaries but the dates are too close to eachother.

This isn't exactly how I wanted to commemorate the occasion but I hadn't counted on this whole A-Z thing to last nearly two months. That's how great I am, I can make 26 posts take two months to do. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do when I'm out. For now I have one or two ideas but I guess that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.

I actually don't remember how I found most of your blogs either. I find that a bit of a shame because some of you I've managed to become quite close to, or at least accepting of. When I take over the world, you get a few seconds head start.

I've seen bloggers come and I've seen them go, and it's probably not good I have such a detached and old sounding attitude after just a year but the same was probably true after just a year of life. Though there was a time I was actually boisterous and full of life. Hard to believe I know.

I don't think anyone has been here from the start. Though of course no one was here at the start. If you think your blog needs more viewers then the only word of advice I could really give you is to follow blogs and see what happens. People might read you out of courtesy but you can also get genuine readers. I can't even do that myself now thanks to Google. Wankers. They took the follow button out of the shiny orange navbar, but they've also still not fixed the button to manage the blogs you're following. What this effectively means is that you can no longer unfollow blogs. But you still have the 300 blog following limit. I limit I have long since surpassed and been dancing around (I've seen a LOT of people come and go). As such I can't really whore myself out for comments anymore. Ho hum.

Anyway, a nice thank you to anyone who has stuck around, for one day, or for one year. Here's to another one. Though I'll be genuinely surprised if I am still blogging this time next year.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

My Xbox Went Live

As people who were following me a few weeks ago, almost a month ago, would have learned, I recently acquired a shiny new Xbox 360. Because it has wireless connectivity I thought I might as well get Xbox Live as well. I'm not about to get into a whole "Xbox 360 is SO much better than PSN" (Playstation Network) argument because, well, it isn't. It costs money, and it's a lot less equipped than the PSN. On both things you can download old games, but the Xbox game marketplace doesn't have a whole lot of choice. It has some cool stuff though, so it's still good. It has all the basics, Youtube, Iplayer and a few on demand services, but it doesn't have a proper browser. That is one major advantage that the PSN has. I find it odd that after so long they still haven't given Xbox a proper browser. Welp, whatever.

Xbox Live also a reputation for angry American kids calling everyone faggots and noobs. I only play one game online (Halo 3, please don't judge me!), which is infamous for this kind of behaviour. I've never really encountered it. Only once. I imagine though all the kids are on the current Halo game, instead of playing old ones.

Another thing I have recently acquired thanks to the magic of Xbox Live is Netflix. Though this isn't helping costs really. Xbox + Netflix = bah, expensive. I have one big problem with Netflix though. Because I'm not an American my selection is VERY limited. There are plenty more shows and movies available to Americans. I've accessed it on a proxy and seen it. It's GLORIOUS. It's like on Youtube where you get one of those shitty "this video is not available in your country, sorry about that :/" messages. I see two differences here though. One, you don't know what you can't have unless you take the time to find out, and two, I PAID FOR THIS. I'm not sure which is a bigger problem really. I can access the entire library on a proxy, but I'm yet to find a proxy that will actually play the content. I can understand why content is blocked on Youtube but like I said, this is a paid service. I'm paying money and taking time to watch things without pirating them. By not allowing shows just because I'm not a yankee (or not allowing shows at all, even to the yanks) you're encouraging piracy. One of, if not THE, biggest reason people pirate is because they can't access what it is they want to watch/play/listen to. Game of Thrones is supposedly the most pirated show, at least right now, and people are saying it's because the show is only on HBO. It's not on any on demand services or legal streaming sites, such as Hulu. It gets even odder some times though. I have some movies, but not their sequels, or in some cases prequels. I have Pirates Of The Carribean 1, but none of the others. I have the third in a series, but not any others. Or I have shows where I can only watch certain seasons, like South Park. They only have series 10-14. Even with British shows, like Doctor Who. They only have the David Tenant episodes. They're good, but that's like 3 or 4 series' that you can't access.

I'm done with that rant, for now.

If you have an Xbox and for kicks you want to add me my gamertag is Zavvy. For some reason this amazed the Xbox tech support. When I told them my gamertag, and spelled it, they both asked me if that was it. Apparently Xbox gamertags are long as fuck.

If my brother didn't have a PS3 I'd buy one.

Monday, 18 June 2012

Well That Was Weird

First of all a slight announcement of sorts. My computer is having serious internet issues. At first I thought it was because my Xbox was now connected to the internet and it was starting to tax the connection but no one has announced they have problems, and the Xbox itself has none. It taunts my laptop with it's abilities to stream a full movie with no problems when my computer cuts out while loading a webpage. It rubs it's mighty connection in my laptop's face. Anyway, to fix this problem I have ordered a recovery disk and I plan to wipe my computer. Now, I don't know when that disk will come, but if it doesn't arrive by Thursday, a podcast may not happen. Of course this announcement more than likely serves no purpose and is being kept in merely because I decided it was so well written it had to stay. Is it me or am I really beginning to sound like my former self?

Anyway, last week was rather surreal to say the least. It feels like it was months ago really. It's hard to believe just a few days ago I was at the end of my tether and disabled comments and suffered a highly depressive episode. Maybe I'm better at repressing things than I thought. Which is a scary thought really. I can pretend last week didn't happen and go about my days in blissful ignorance but that would be pretty ignorant. Plus it wasn't all bad. Only most of it.

Monday wasn't much, but hey there's a picture of Darren Hayes in that post and one of his songs. You're lucky I don't include a picture of him in every post. Imagine what that would do to my views though...

Tuesday was where it really started to get just down and out weird. It started with me talking about how I had things in my life I needed a whole lot. Then I started talking to myself. I really talked to myself, in a post, using italics to differentiate between the personalities. You want to see a descent in to madness, you read this post.

Wednesday was when I srs'ed the fuck up and stopped the self pity. Well, mostly. It was when things turned around at least. I enabled comments again, and explained why I disabled them. I explained some of my issues as well a little more. Specifically some weight things.

Thursday was my latest podcast which was riddled with problems. What happened here is why podcasts will be on hiatus if I can't fix my internet woes. It wouldn't upload properly. I was able to get it done, but a few people said they were still having issues. It should all be working now. It was a loophole exploitation. I decided the subject for V would be "Voices" and thus everything I said would fall under the subject and I could say and do anything I wanted. For the most part though I did stick with my voice, and my own thoughts on it. SPOILER ALERT; They differ slightly from yours.

Friday I wrote about, well, writing actually. It's the same stuff I've said before on the subject. I sucked majorly at it in school, but since starting blogging I've had a lot of fun writing, and it turns out that I'm not bad at it all really. I also mentioned that me and Bersercules have discussed the idea of doing a picture book. He's all for it, but I've got the problem with no story ideas. I'm considering an adult satire of a children's book. But I can only think of one joke. Bah. Sadly I'm a writer, not a comedian. You would think that being able to write a conversation well, and not being great at being descriptive, writing picture books would be great for me.

Saturday was of course the latest chapter of Immortal Space. It almost wasn't written and I wrote it as I wrote the post. I was incredibly unmotivated last week, and didn't write anything. In the story at least. It was a good one for learning more about Trent. I'm not sure how much stuff Trent has promised Geoff anymore though, so I'm not sure what I have to write about.

Last but not least Sunday, as well as being Father's Day (I totally missed out on the chance for a post there, still kind of depressed about that) I shared the awesome comedy of one mister Lee Evans. Who sweats more on stage than most professional wrestlers do during drugs tests. I could have come up with something funnier but I have wrestling on the brain. It's a serious illness and I'll thank you not to laugh. Ow, someone just elbow dropped my medulla oblongata. Now that's a joke. Thank you, I'm here all week, as you well know.

Enjoy your week folks. I'll try to enjoy mine. Seeing as I hope to shift my sleeping pattern though it doesn't seem like it's going to be very comfortable.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Lee Evans

Lee Evans is one of my favourite comedians and I wouldn't be surprised if I had shared his awesome before, but it didn't come up in a search. Plus it doesn't matter anyway because he's just that great. This is also a very relevant because it is about the Olympic games in London.

Okay the one I wanted to share wasn't embedable, but I was able to find the same routine in a different video. There's a little bit before it on the subject of football too.

Saturday, 16 June 2012

I Wrote Once More

The title of the post is a not so subtle (especially anymore) reference to the title from yesterday's post. Anyway, I'm saying I was writing once more because I wrote this last night a bit before I went to bed. Originally I wrote a new chapter much earlier in the week. I was so depressed though that it wasn't very good at all. Geoff got moody and argued with Trent. I think this was a total deviation from how they really are. The second half-ish is part of the original chapter, but for the most part this is a rewrite. I would have rewritten the entire thing but I wanted to keep some things I had already written still in there, such as the revelation that Trent SPOILER ALERT.

So yep, enjoy the chapter and if you want to catch up, there is a dapper new Immortal Space page up there.

“Say Trent, why did you defend me back there?”. Geoff was taking Trent to a shop that sold ship parts, and the question had been on his mind since they had left the club.
“What do you mean?” Trent replied, cocking his head in wonder.
“Well,” Geoff started, looking away. “I didn't do what you told me to. I should have just watched the fights. I probably deserved what I was going to get from that guy.” Trent shook his head and sighed. “Ain't nobody would have deserved what that guy would have done to you. You won your money fair and square. He was going to beat you for something you didn't do. Even if you did he was about twice your size, and it wouldn't have been fair. Plus I promised the good doctor I'd keep you safe.” Geoff gave a non-committal sigh and kept walking. “You only protected me because Dr. Osbourne asked you to?" Trent ruffled his hair and patted him on the back. "You're a good kid, I'd want to keep you safe anyway." Geoff shook his head and swatted Trent's hand away. He felt a bit better about the situation. "I can take care of myself." he said. Trent threw back his head and laughed, getting a few looks from the people they were passing. Not that he minded. It was hard not to draw attention when you were dressed in a long coat and hat. "Sure you could have. That's why you were telling me just now you would have deserved to get your ass kicked." Now it was Geoff's turn to laugh. "Hey, I said I'd deserve it, not that it would happen. I could have taken that guy, he didn't look so tough." Trent moved in front of him and cut him off. "Hey I don't look so tough, you think you could take me?". Geoff threw a weak punch and managed to hit Trent in the chest, causing Trent to laugh again. "That tickled. Oh I'm shaking in my boots now." Geoff's cheeks flushed and he threw a better punch. When it hit Trent stopped laughing, but he was still smiling. "Now that was better, but still, you sure you don't want any self defence lessons?"
"You'd be willing to teach me?" Geoff replied. A bit skeptical but still hopeful. "Sure," Trent replied. "If you tell me why you'd wanna know how to fight." Geoff shrank in to himself, looking a lot less cocky than he did before.. “You were right. About that guy in the club. I couldn't have taken him, but you could easy. You can do anything and I couldn't do nothing. If that guy had attacked me then I wouldn't have been able to do anything. I wish I was more like you.” Trent stopped, shocked, and laughed so hard he was bent over, holding his stomach.
“You wish you were more like me? This might come as a shock kid but sometimes I wish I was more like you.” Geoff was indeed shocked at this. So much so that he stared at Trent for about ten seconds before shaking himself back to reality. “You wish you were more like me?” Geoff asked.
“Sure do,” Trent said, patting him on the back. “You're happy, you're carefree. You still have so much to discover and do. While there might still be a whole lot left for me to do, I've got nothing on you kid. You have the world, and everything beyond it to see. I might be able to handle myself sure, but I wasn't born like this. It took a lot of training, and most of it was painful. I've been through a lot of things I wasn't sure I'd survive too.” Geoff was, once again, stunned. “But, you're immortal. You can survive anything.”
“I wasn't immortal back then.” Trent stated.
“What do you mean? You weren't born immortal?”
“Nope”, said Trent. “I'll have to tell you the story another time though.”
“What? Why?!”. Geoff was getting angry. “You're doing it again! Why won't you tell me? You think I can't handle it?”
“It's nothing like that” Trent said, shaking his head. “It's just that we've been talking so long we've actually reached the shop, look” he said, pointing in front of him. Geoff followed where he pointed and saw that they had indeed reached their destination. The parts shop was just across the road from them. It was a small looking shop. The window displays were full of small parts, such as basic engines. A sign above the door read “The Parts Emporium” and under that was a smaller sign that read “No ship, no shoes, no service”. Geoff shook his head one more time, and the two of them crossed the road and walked inside. For now thoughts of defending himself would have to wait.

Friday, 15 June 2012


If you've noticed this is late, then you would be right. It's even later than I thought it would be because my computer didn't want to play nice. I almost wrote it on my phone but then I remembered it had the potential to be long, and that was going to stop me. Plus writing wasn't the original "W" post I wanted to make. I really decided on the fly. This is being written live which is harder than you'd think when your mail and your cat keep interrupting you. I ordered something from America a few weeks ago and it's only just arrive. In fact it was sent in a Chinese take-away box. I almost felt bad I had to break the box to get in to it. I wanted to preserve this moment. When someone actually used a take-away.

Speaking of writing live, I've considered podcasting live. I don't imagine it's all that hard. The only problem is having something to talk about for so long, and finding a time when people can listen, and when I can actually do it myself. The interaction side is cool though, you can tweet and email me while I'm on the air and I read stuff out and what not. It's something I've considered at the least.

Most of this post will probably be stuff I've said before but all collected in to one post. Writing is something I've not considered too much. It was something I wasn't very good at in school, and every attempt I've ever made to own a diary has failed. I think I've owned about 3 or 4 diaries in my time. I just never did anything worth writing down.

I think part of the problem I had with creative writing in school is that I wasn't, or still aren't, very creative. This claim has been tested however with every post I write, with every story I write. I think my problem may actually have been I didn't want to write what they wanted me to write. For some part though my problem IS a lack of creativity. I can write posts and books based off a very simple idea, but I don't get those ideas often. They don't just come to me. I can not summon forth the Gods of writing and beseech them for ideas.

Couple this with a lack of motivation and willpower, and you have a very bad writer. I proposed the idea with Bersercules of writing a picture book with him, and a lack of ideas have really stopped this happening. I think though I could do something like that quite well. I can write conversation better than I think, but now I have the problem of not being great with what happens during a conversation. My conversations seem long and drawling and there's not enough going on outside it, such as internal reactions to a conversation, or people looking away or what not. This is just another case of reading again and thinking "God I fukken suck."

Still, I love books, and I do enjoy writing, so hopefully I'll be able to balance the two, and continue to improve my writing ability.

Thursday, 14 June 2012


Despite recent happenings I was in fact able to record a podcast last night. Or technically very early morning (which one is half one in the morning again?). In continuing with A-Z I chose the v-word "voices" and cheated and decided that because that was the subject, and it was a podcast, anything and everything I said fell under the topic. Though I did mostly stick to talk about voice, and what I can do to improve things. Enjoy folks.

I know some people have had trouble, and I have fixed it now. I hope. I've had some internet problems lately, and the file failed to upload last night. It failed to tell me it failed though. I've reuploaded, and republished it. Hopefully it works.

Huh, reuploaded isn't a word, but republished is. How bout that?

Wednesday, 13 June 2012


Damn I'm sorry about the way this place has been recently. I've been more depressed than ever. That's putting it simply really. I've even been haunted more than ever by the stuff I said I'd never tell you guys about. Hell, I almost talked about it actually. I was ready to write the entire story. To be honest though it's not something I likes sharing, and it's something I don't want everyone to know. I know how people will react and respond to it, and I don't want any of that.

Nothing in particular has really set it off. I've been handling things rather well lately. Other than my lack of weight loss which continues to depress me. I still consider it the first major step in loving myself. Finding myself physically appealing. To be able to look in the mirror, and think other people could find me attractive. Hell, to be able to look in a mirror would be nice. I'm slightly convinced the problem is psychological. I'm eating right, I'm exercising more than ever, and still, it refuses to budge. I think psychological aspects can affect weight loss anyway.

I've never actually been a comfort eater. I just made a lot of poor eating choices. Eating too much of some things, and not enough of another. That has changed since I started tracking everything I eat. I even bought jam to have instead of butter. The butter I have is low fat (yay for dairy free products) but it's still quite fattening. I just have no butter at all mostly these days.

Anyway, away from the subject of food and weight. You might be wondering why I disabled comments. Well the reason was two fold really. One, I was in such a state that to see sympathy from you people would have angered me, not helped. Which would have depressed me further. Well, the sympathy would have either pissed me off, or depressed me straight away. I still don't accept that people can and do care about me.

The other reason was that I just didn't want to answer any awkward or uncomfortable questions. I felt that given the nature of my posts recently, I would have been asked some things I did not want to answer. You know how I am, if I get asked something, I just have to answer.

I'm far from fine, I'm probably not even close to "better", but I got tired of the self pity. I had to stop myself before I reached depths I didn't want to, and said some things I would have regretted. I'm not repressing anything, I'm just...well, I don't even know. Thank you for your patience. To everyone who emailed and tweeted me, and even went to old posts to comment there (I think I count about 3 or 4 total) I thank you even more.

I love you guys, I really do.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

To Be Honest

To be honest there were a fair few "T"'s I could think of. Maybe if I get some of my motivation back I can write some of them to fall back on after I finish the Z post. Then again that just seems further away each day. They won't be all that irrelevant either even if I wait a while to make them.

To be honest I was actually considering a more permanent break yesterday. Like I said though, I can't stop this. If I stop this, then I won't start again. I stopped going to work, and didn't go in for six months. I stopped going again, and I don't know how long it's been since I was last there. Time off does one no good, because nothing changes in absence. Everything remains the same. Everything remains broken. Time may heal all wounds, but some take longer than others, especially when they're constantly being reopened. With every post I make, with every word I write, every letter even, I become more pathetic. I become more pitiable.

To be honest, this is not very becoming of me. This is not who I am. Or, is it? I guess it must be if it's who I am acting like. Who I am becoming. Who, inside, I always was. Maybe I am destined to be a pathetic, angry, convoluted mess with occasional bursts of happiness instead of the other way around. Maybe I was never meant to be happy.

But I know that is wrong. I have some happiness in my life. I have my friends. I have my music, my games. The things that make me smile and laugh.

To be honest, I need them now more than ever. What am I? Not who, what. I know WHO I am. I am me. But what does that make me? Anything I want to be. What do I want to be? Everything people think of me. Strong, brave, tough, caring, kind. Does that mean I am that, because I choose to be? You tell me. No, it doesn't. Why not? These things require effort. It's all well and good to say that you want to do something, or be something, but it takes effort. It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes you being honest with yourself. Now you're getting it. So, why are you not honest with yourself? With others for that matter? Because I'm not as bad as I make myself out to be, and I have trouble accepting that. Despite how good and kind I am, I see nothing special in it. No need for praise. But I want praise sometimes, I want recognition. I want to know I am doing the right thing. But even if someone praises you, you won't believe it. So why want that? Because I hope one day I will believe it. I hope that someone will say something nice about me, and I'll believe it. Why don't you believe it already? I've hurt others. I continue to do so. Sometimes just my presence is enough to hurt them. Everyone hurts people. Everyone does it without meaning to. Look at some of your comic book heroes. Spiderman had Mary Jane, and she was always in danger for knowing him. Gwen Stacey even died because she knew him. Does that make him a bad person. No, it doesn't. So why does it make you one? I hurt people. What else can I be? You can be human. You can make mistakes. You can accept that there are people who care enough about you that they don't mind if they get hurt. They want to be around you, and you know you want them around too. I know I want them around, but what if they don't want me? What if they want to hurt me? Then you get hurt. You've been hurt before, and you lived through it. If they didn't want to be around you, they wouldn't talk to you. They wouldn't deal with you. Sometimes you push people to that point, where they don't want anything to do with you. Why? It's better that way. They can leave before I hurt them, or they hurt me. There's always the chance someone won't get hurt you know. I know that. Then why not take it? Because there's the chance people will get hurt. We've already been over this. People get hurt all the time, for various reasons. They pick themselves back up, dust themselves off, and try again. Every time I try again it seems to go wrong again. That's not totally true and you know it. You keep making the same mistakes. Learn from them, and don't repeat them. I can't help it. Yes, you can if you try harder. Every time I try, I fail. Not every time. Things worked out just fine before. Just because something is rare, does not make it impossible to have. You and your friendships are proof of that. Why can't you just treat more people like you treat her? She's different. How so? She's closer to me than anyone. Why is that? Because we've opened up to eachother, we've known eachother for so long, and I trust her completely. A courtesy I offer no one else. Well, if you just opened up to people more then you could have that with others. I don't want it with others. Why? I want her to remain special. Why? She means more to me than anyone. She's the one person I haven't driven away. Because she actually cares about you, and you her. She loves you. Other people do too. Not in the way that I want. That's the thing. It's a want, not a need. Right now, you have to learn to love yourself. You don't accept that anyone can love you, because you don't love yourself. That is where you start. The rest will follow in it's own time. Some things cannot be rushed. You cannot hope to feed off someone else's love for you, and make it your own. You have to love yourself, and know that other people will too. You have to trust yourself as well. But that's a whole other issue, and this has dragged on for long enough. Thank you. Hey, no problem. I'm you. Just take my advice this time, will ya? I shall try. Do or do not, there is no try. That's rubbish and we both know that. Yeah, you're right. Say, you wanna grab a beer? Sure, why not. Wait, which one of us controls the arms? Both I think. I mean, we have both been typing here. Oh yeah. Well this rounds on me anyway. Of course it is. It's technically on me too. Yeah yeah yeah. Let's just get out of here. You got it. 

Sorry about how long this got. If anyone actually read all of it, then I thank you. It took me over half an hour to write. Probably the longest I've spent writing a blog post before.

Monday, 11 June 2012

No One Saw This Coming

I'm going to do something today that no one ever thought I would actually do. I'm going to take a day off. Kind of. Everyone says I can take one if I want, so I'm going to do it for once. I can't totally take a day off though. I'm still going to read blogs today, and well, I'm writing this aren't I? I'm also going to give you something to listen to. It's our Lord and Master Darren Hayes.

Man this guy can always make me smile
You ever get the feeling that your commitment to never being broken, and to always staying alive is just seen as a test by whoever runs this place? That every time you say won't be beaten something gets the idea to hit you harder than before? I do. It seems to be that way. Sometimes I do want to have a conversation with God, and just ask him what the fuck it's all about. Why did this happen, why did that happen. If you're trying to make me stronger then why not stop when you saw I was only getting weaker. Why do you want to break me so damn badly?

This is not goodbye either. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever be able to give this up. I guess I just got tired of pretending everything was fine.

Sunday, 10 June 2012

Tim Vine

This is a comedian that's kind of new to me too. I knew about him, but I've only seen him in sitcoms. Well, one sitcom. Not Going Out, which he's in with Lee Mack. It's a good show, but I saw a live show of his recently (thank you Netflix) and I actually had no idea he was also a stand up. He's very funny on stage. He mostly sticks to one liners and comedy props, but it's really good. Normally one liners drag on and get old, but I watched a full hour of this guy and kept laughing. Anyway, this is way too much text, it's video time.

Saturday, 9 June 2012

An Actual Retcon This Time

For once we have a chapter of Immortal Space on time. Well, when it's usually up anyway. On a fine Saturday morning. Because Immortal Space is a work in progress, and it's not even properly planned, details are subject to change. Right now is one of those moments. I'm changing the year from 3020-ish, to 2520-ish. I can explain why space exploration was delayed and things for a few centuries, but not a whole millennium. This means that Trent is (currently) 500-and something, instead of over a thousand years old now. As the original author I reserve the right to do this. It just makes a lot more sense this way. Now that I've said that, let's get on with the show! 

I figure that it's been long enough for me to just make an Immortal Space page and stick all the links up there. So if you want to catch up, just look at the shiny new page. I've removed the "Blogs You Should Visit" page. Barely anyone used it, and I was too lazy to update it. Maybe I should just get a blogroll or something. 

After Trent was done changing again and he had cleaned himself up, he walked out of the preparation room and saw Geoff waiting for him. Geoff ran up to him and before Trent could react, Geoff put his hat on him.

“I kept it safe like you wanted” Geoff said, smiling. “But seriously, where did you learn to fight like that?”. Trent adjusted his hat so it fit comfortably and started to leave the club. Geoff walked besides him and waited for his answer.
“Well when you live as long as I do, you pick up a few things. 'Course, being ex-military helps and all. But they don't teach people what I just did in the army. Not everyone anyway.” Trent replied. Geoff looked a bit surprised at this.
“Ex-military? But there hasn't been a war in centuries. There hasn't been a military in centuries.” he said matter-of-factly.
“You forgettin' how old I am?” Trent asked.
“No it's not that,” Geoff said sheepishly with a smile. “It's just it's been so long. I'd have thought you were out of practice.”
“This ain't my first rodeo kid. As you can see the martial arts are alive and well, even if they aren't being used for world conquest. There are plenty of places a guy like me can get his fill of practice. Plus, well, I make some enemies here and there.”
“Oh” Geoff said, looking downcast. “Did you, er, did you serve in the last big war?” he asked. Trent stopped in his tracks and Geoff walked a few steps before noticing. He went back to Trent, looking apologetic. “I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't. Are you okay?”. Trent patted him on the head, giving him his signature smile.
“I'm fine kid. You're allowed to be curious. No harm there.”he said, bringing a smile back to Geoff's face. Trent looked serious again and held his locket in his hands. “I was in that war,” he said, letting out a sigh. “It was horrible, and what I lost wasn't worth what I gained.”
“You lost something?” Geoff asked. Trent held on to the locket tighter and Geoff thought he saw a tear form on Trent's face. “One of the most important things in the world to me. It's kind of sad and silly in a way. Almost ironic. I joined up to keep her safe, and in the end I lost her by not being there. I lost the most precious thing I knew, while trying to protect it.”
“Her?” Geoff asked, looking bewildered.
“I've talked about it enough for now.” Trent said, shaking his head and letting go of his locket. It swung a bit on it's chain but never quite touched where his heart was. “Come on kid, we got to buy us a new engine so we can go show you what's up there.” Geoff looked a bit surprised, and did his best to hide his disappointment.
“Oh yeah”, he replied, smiling himself and looking excited. "Look what I got!" he exclaimed, holding out his bag of winnings.
"Where did you get that from?" Trent asked him. "What did you do?"
"Nothing," Geoff replied innocently. "I just placed a bet that you'd win with the guy sat next to me. There's 1500 here, that should really help us get a new engine, don't you think? Trent? Trent?". Trent had stopped listening after Geoff said he placed a bet. He was now looking at the aforementioned man Geoff had betted with as he walked towards the pair, looking very angry indeed. "Wasn't him by any chance, huh Geoff?" Trent asked, pointing at the man. 
"Uhh...yeah, yeah it was" Geoff replied, looking scared at the look on the man's face.
"I KNEW IT!" He shouted, when he reached them, poking Geoff in the chest. "I knew you were in cahoots with him. I bet you got everyone to throw the fights for a split of the cash didn't you?"
"Hey!" Trent said, putting himself between Geoff and the guy. "You leave him alone. You hear?". The man grunted and poked Trent instead. "I ain't afraid of you", he said. "You clearly fixed them fights, you ain't nothing really, are you?". Trent grabbed his hand, and crushed it until he heard something crack. The man shouted in pain and Trent shoved him in the chest, knocking him to the ground. 
"You want to mess with me, you mess with me, but you leave the kid alone. You hear?". The man nodded and Trent let go of him, standing up and dusting himself off before walking on. "Come on Geoff, let's just get out of here." Geoff caught up with him and didn't really know where to look, so he kept his eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry Trent," he said "I just thought I'd try and help out a bit, you know?"
"I'm not mad at you," Trent said, "but just be more careful next time won't you?". Geoff nodded and the two continued on in silence until they reached the door. The guard with the tattoos was waiting there with a bag full of credits for Trent. 12,000 credits in all. He earned 750 credits for each victory and he had it doubled for lasting until the end of the tournament. 
“You sure got me. I guess you did know the guy who did a clean sweep after all.” he said, shaking Trent's hand.
“Yeah...” Trent replied, looking away. “You could say we're kinda close.” He said before walking out. As he watched Trent and Geoff leave the man looked at the wall on the left side of the room. On it was a picture of the last man to get a clean sweep. His eyes and mouth widened when he looked at it. He leaned out the door and shouted to Trent.
“Say, Trent! What's your last name?” he asked.
“Saxon! Trent Saxon!” Trent replied, chuckling to himself. The guy looked back at the picture, and then looked again at Trent. There was a familiar looking hat in that picture, along with the initials T.S and a very familiar smirk. It was also dated a hundred years ago though. There was no way what the guard was thinking could be possible.

Man this chapter received a serious rewrite. Plus it's the last full written chapter I have. Cripes. 

Friday, 8 June 2012

Selling Out. Or Whatever.

I know I said I was going to write a story or something for today, but well, I have other things. I can always write a story some other time. Plus I'll be posting more Immortal Space tomorrow. Unless someone has a birthday or something. Jeez it feels like it's been so long since I posted that on time. So, what am I going to talk about today instead? Selling out. Specifically myself.

You see, I find myself in need of money. A fair amount of money. In fact quite a frickin lot. About £1500 to be specific. Don't worry I don't have any debt or anything. This is a personal venture. A very personal venture. If I went specifically in to what it was though then people involved would be all "Seriously, don't do that!". That makes it sound bad, but it's not. It's one of the best things I've ever done. I am planning a trip. A trip I know I will one day make, but would like to make as soon as possible.

This though, does leave me in a bit of a predicament. I am by no means poor, but I can't really say to my folks "hey, could I have a couple hundred quid?". If I want to do this, then chances are I'm going to have to save up. However because of my current jobless status, I only get £200 a month, only 100 of which can be saved. Plus to save up £100 a month it means I can spend NO MONEY. I can't spend a single penny on myself. I could pay less board to my dad, but it feels like I'm cheating him if I don't give him anything.

You'd think that after having a blog for almost a year (it really has been that long) I would have something marketable. But I don't really. It's not like I make comics, or anything. I'm a craptacular artist, and it's not like I've spouted any catchphrases or any distinct iconography. That is, there's nothing I've done I could put on a t-shirt or a mug, or anything. The only thing I really have that I could sell is my writing. I have no idea how to break in to the writing industry though. I have no idea how to be a freelance writer and send my things to places. Or get published. Plus I don't think I'm much of an article writer anyway.

I could try asking for donations but I would feel dirty doing that. If I was desperate, if I was about to lose my house or something (not likely as my dad owns the house) then I would feel less bad about it.

I don't really know what the point is. I guess the point is that if you know ways to improve my financial situation, if you think that maybe I could in fact find something to put on something, then let me know. Or suggest ways for me to get my writing out there. Like I said though, I'm not much of a writer. Well, not much of an article writer. Unless one of you will pay me to write something. That would be cool, but I think I'd feel bad about charging you guys. Still, that's an idea.

So far though, freelance writing seems to be maybe my best choice. I don't have enough short stories or poems to release a collection or anything, and I have no bright ideas.

So I guess what the actual main point of this post was, I need money to do something daringly awesome and without any ideas or anything it's going to take months. Over a year actually. I don't think I can wait that long.

For giggles I took a typing test. I got some pretty good results actually.

Thursday, 7 June 2012

A Good Read

Another week, another solo effort podcast recorded at half past midnight where I began with no idea what the hell to do. In the end I started talking about what I've been reading lately. I have been on Skype more lately, but I've just not been on late at night when Bersercules is usually on. So we just haven't caught eachother yet. Solo podcasting wouldn't be so bad if I had more ideas, but as I briefly mention in the podcast, a lack of ideas isn't my real problem, a lack of drive, of motivation, is.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012


To be honest there were a few words beginning with R that I thought about using, but none I really felt could be turned in to a whole post. I thought I would give it a shot with "romance".

It's no well-guarded secret that I am, or at least consider myself to be, hopelessly romantic. I have tried several times, and I have failed several times, in that particular venture. But I actually still hold out a little hope that one day will be my day. I'm still a "hopeless romantic" though.

Romance seems to be something that has itself become, almost ironically perhaps, romanticized. Movies, books, and television give people a warped view on just what romance is, and what a relationship is. For me though that was more done by my youth. But that is another story for never. I can be considered quite charming though. This doesn't mean that you can discount my honeyed words. I always say what I mean, and mean what I say. When it comes to trying to butter people up, I fail really bad. If I say sweet things to you, I'm not trying to get in to your pants, I genuinely think and feel that way about you. If I call you pretty, to me you are, and if I call you beautiful, to me, you are.

I think this is another problem romantic people have. There are people who know just what a woman wants to hear and use that to score, multiple times. Women seem to have apprehensions about sweet and charming guys. It's hard to convince someone you're genuine. If someone doesn't believe something you say, then chances are that they aren't ever going to. There are some arguments that you just can't win.

I myself have trouble believing sweet words. I've been used and manipulated before. If you compliment me, chances are I'll question it. A few of you here have seen examples of this. I can accept that I am kind, and sweet, and gentle, but if someone says it to me, I would doubt it immediately, and wonder just what they want. This can lead me to be perhaps too cautious with other people. I have to be willing to trust. But, trust is a matter for another day.

For now, let me leave you with these words. There are some genuinely romantic guys (and gals) who really do mean everything they say to you, and about you, and are not just out for one thing, or in the case of girls, three things (you have two boobs, they each count as one thing).

I consider myself to be one of them, but whether or not I am is really up for you to decide, mahal.

PS Sorry if I've just butchered a language there.The last time I tried I was right.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012


To be honest I couldn't really think of much else than began with "Q", at least, not anything that wouldn't require a little preparation. Now I've written that of course, and made a start on this post, I am getting ideas. Isn't that always the way? No? I thought it was. I'm stalling here aren't I? Yes. Yes I am. I don't intend to stop any time soon either.

See, the queen of England, Her Royal Highness/Majesty Queen Elizabeth II recently had her diamond jubilee. As if you didn't know. This basically means she's sat on the throne for sixty years. Which is no mean feat. Aysh taught me that the last monarch to reach this feat was Queen Victoria herself. Though of course the royal family, and the way they work, and even society, has changed a lot. I don't think that there will be such a long gap between a diamond jubilee again. Well, it depends on when the person takes the throne I guess. I doubt Prince Charles will see his diamond jubilee, but sometimes I doubt he will see his coronation. I wouldn't be too surprised if by some cruel twist of fate, he dies the day before the Queen does. He's so mad (as in insane) if he does take the throne, he wants to change his name and become King George (I think) because in the past King Charles's have been of questionable sanity. So he's so insane he's going to change his name to prove he isn't. Way to go.

As I was saying about society and the royal family though; A few hundred years back we were in a war pretty much every week. When one ended we just buried our dead, healed our wounded, and then jumped right back up on those horses. Way, way, way, back, the royal family themselves would join in the fight. Several monarchs even died on the battlefield, such as King Harold who died in the battle of Hastings in 1066. I studied that thing twice, so if I have anything wrong there, it's the teachers fault.

Take that in to account, as well as not very good average ages and living conditions, and you can see why no one really rules for sixty years. Then again, no monarch really "rules" these days. Though it probably is within her power to dissolve parliament and take back power for herself. I don't think she's going to be the ruler who does that though. If Prince Harry got the throne, he might do it for a laugh. That fella seems alright.

Another interesting fact on the subject of queens before I leave you be. I don't think I've ever seen a queen in a Disney movie. At least, all the attention is on the princesses anyway. The only time I've seen something close to actual ruling royalty in a Disney movie is King Triton in The Little Mermaid.

EDIT: Okay I should have said that there is occasionally a queen in Disney, but they are almost always portrayed as old and evil. 

Monday, 4 June 2012

Round And Round It Goes

Where it stops...well, it stops on a round up really doesn't it? It is Monday, and it is that time of the week again (Monday, like I just said) for a round up post. We had a rather varied week on the blog, with some high highs, and some low lows. So let's take a look at just what did happen shall we?

Tuesday was one of the really good days. Originally I had planned to make an incredibly depressing post about the incredibly depressing state of my life right now. Instead though I got some very good things in the mail. It was a nice little package of birthday gifts from Fang, Levy, and a friend of theirs. Inside was a birthday card, a letter, another letter detailing my origins, and a Rainbow Dash toy. Win all around I say.

Wednesday was when it got incredibly depressing. But I can't really complain, it was easily the most viewed post of the week, breaking 70 views. Which is awesome. As for the post itself, well, it was originally about how I have trouble saying no, and really go out of my way for people. Then it kind of went deeper, as I went in to why, and even opened up about the abandonment issues I have, and how I push people away deliberately.

Thursday was a solo effort podcast about how people are too easily offended these days, and some of the things wrong with political correctness. My running theory is that if you don't allow something on the grounds it may offend someone, then you're just drawing unwanted attention to those people, and even getting them unwanted negative attention. Let's say for example that if someone says "You can't say "Christmas", and openly celebrate it, in case you offend the Jews." then people really are going to think "it's the Jews fault I can't celebrate Christmas properly, *insert expletive here*" but it isn't. It's the dumb people who are being offended for other people. Some people are stupid.

Friday was about pressure, and how I don't handle it very well. I don't handle pressure too well because I've never really been pressured. Now I have a lot of stress and pressure in my life and I'm not even sure where most of it is coming from. I guess this counted as depressing because Fang keeps saying he wants to hug me.

Saturday was a super special awesome podcast I recorded while slightly drunk still from the night before. It was a special message to my good ladyfriend Leah. She practically exploded over this, and she will actually explode when she gets some mail some time soon. I'm glad she enjoyed it so much. I also baked a cake, but it didn't go totally well. It was still delicious but only Leah has seen it. Other than me of course. Seeing as I ate some of it.

Sunday  was the latest chapter in Immortal Space, complete with a toned down fight scene that got mixed opinions. Some said I was too descriptive, and some said it was just fine. I've really learned how to write a fight scene from writing notes for my collaborative wrestling blog. I've not really read many books with fight scenes in. Anyway, read it and judge for yourself.

Well that is the week that was last week. Hope you guys have a good week, and I guess I hope I do too.


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