Saturday, 19 May 2012

Rewrites And Retcons


Prologue:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/untitled-space-story.html#en
Chapter one:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-almost-broke-tradition.html#en
Chapter two:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-two.html#en
Chapter three:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-third.html#en
Chapter four:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/fourth-wall-remains-intact.html#en
Chapter Five: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/five-out-of-five-for-length.html
Chapter Six: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/04/its-been-too-long.html
Chapter Seven: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/short-chapter.html
Chapter Nine: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/04/into-vault.html
Chapter Ten; http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-need-to-write-more.html
Chapter Eleven; http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/05/first-rule-of-9th-circle-is.html

Well I was able to do some more rewrites, and a bit more on that after the chapter. For now, a brief recap. Trent has gone into The 9th Circle fight club, and Geoff has joined him there. After a brief reunion Geoff went to take his seat in the stands while Trent went into a back room to prepare. There really wasn't much to recap.

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When he walked in the preparation room Trent saw that there were eight other men there. He really did cut it close if there was this many people already. They were all well built but he didn't think that he couldn't take any of them. He found an empty locker and took his shirts off and stuffed them inside. He also took his boots off but left his jeans on. He had nothing to change in to. He would be fine in his jeans, he thought to himself. He'd fought in them before. He also figured that if it was harder for him to move then maybe his opponents would have a bit more of a chance. He sat on the floor and leaned against the locker, tapping his feet while he waited. A few minutes later he heard the door open and watched as he saw a man in a suit enter the room.
“Any volunteers for who goes in first? Or do we need to draw lots?” he asked. Trent was on his feet almost immediately. You earned money based on how many fights you won, so he wanted to go in as soon as possible and earn as much as he could. He wasn't sure how much a new engine might be, so the more money he had the better.
“I'll go in first,” he said, “you can draw lots to decide who fights me.” The announcer looked Trent up and down before turning to face the rest of the guys.
“Any problems with that?” he asked them. All the other men shook their heads and some were smirking, hoping that they would get to fight Trent. They saw him as an easy victory. The announcer stepped into the room properly and motioned Trent out, asking him his name as he walked past. Trent said to just call him Trent as he walked past and out into the room. He heard a mix of cheers and boos as he walked towards the cage. Geoff watched him walk down the aisle and noticed that although Trent had a rather athletic build, he didn't seem to have much in the way of muscles. He also noticed that although there were no markings on Trent's body there was a cross shaped scar on his chest. Right where his heart was. Geoff thought that as someone who could heal, Trent should have a perfectly unmarked body, and wondered just what could cause such a scar, and why it might persist when nothing else had. There were no markings left even from the autopsy from a few days ago. He hadn't seen Trent's chest back then, he had got the surgical gown on before he got a look. Plus when he saw Trent was naked he avoided looking at him as much as he could. Geoff was of course cheering for Trent and tapped the guy next to him on the shoulder. “You see that man there? He's going to win all of this.” he said. The man, another muscle-freak like the one guarding the door, turned to Geoff and laughed. “You wanna bet kid? I'll give you triple your money if that scrawny little guy wins. I don't see him lasting the first fight. Poor sap must have bad luck when it comes to the draw.” Geoff considered the offer for a few seconds before checking how much he had in his wallet. “Okay”, Geoff replied. “I'll bet you five hundred credits that my friend there wins all his fights.” Geoff offered his hand out for the man to shake. After another chuckle the guy shook Geoff's hand. “You got a deal kid. When he loses, the drinks are on you.” Geoff turned back to the fight, wondering if he'd just made a huge mistake. Trent had told him to just watch the fights. He thought to himself that a little extra money might not be bad though, and he wanted the guy to stop badmouthing Trent. Trent made his way into the cage and walked past the referee in the middle and leaned against the back wall of the cage, waiting for his opponent to walk down. After a short wait the announcer walked down the aisle with with one of the men from the preparation room behind him. It was one of the less tough looking guys. He didn't look much buffer than Trent and had short black hair. He was wearing red shorts that dropped to just above his knees, and in contrast to Trent's unmarked body he had some small cuts all over his body and his hands were wrapped up. He walked into the ring and the announcer closed the cage behind him before stepping into the middle.
“Ladies and gentleman,” he shouted, making sure everyone could hear him, “Welcome to The 9th Circle, where we live by the sword, and hope to die by it too!”. There was an outburst of cheers for a few seconds before he called for quiet and started speaking again.
“Now, you probably know how this works. For the benefit of those who don't though I will now explain. There are eight fights today, and a total of nine fighters. The way it works is that you stay in the cage until you lose. If you win, then you fight the next fighter to come out. The more wins you get the more money you earn. When all the fights are over then the last man standing earns all of his winnings. This is a game of luck, as well as skill. Come in too late, and you might not win much, however if you come in too early then you might end up losing to exhaustion. Though of course if you're skilled enough, you'll have no problems. You win by knocking your opponent out or making them give up. Please refrain from killing blows. Now it's time to introduce our first fighters. To my left is a newcomer-”he motioned with his left arm to Trent, who received a mixed reaction, “a man we know nothing about but his name. Trent!” Trent waved at a few people in the audience, mostly the ones cheering him, and flashed a smile at Geoff (who was clapping as well as cheering) before turning to face his opponent. “And to my right-” the announcer continued, motioning to the right this time, “is a veteran of the Circle. Here on his 15th visit to the Circle, Max!” Max received a mostly positive reaction. There were a few boos, some from Geoff. Geoff made sure that other people were booing as well before he joined in though.
“Now who will win in this bout to knock the other guy out?” The announcer shouted, to a few laughs. “Let's find out, right now!”
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Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger like that. As you can see it was pretty long already though. Plus there was a slight problem. I did in fact add rewrites to this chapter, which meant that I had to rewrite the others. However I had a rather busy day yesterday (though it was pretty cool) and so I was lucky to get one rewrite in. For the next few chapters though it's mostly action, action action! With glorious gory fight scenes galore. Oh and another brief apology. I'm sorry if I'm actually retconning here by having it so that Geoff never saw Trent's scar when they first met. I tried explaining how it happened but it still feels like a retcon. For people who don't know what a retcon is, I'm too tired and lazy to change it. It's basically when you change something that already happened, or already was, to suit a new situation. Or at least I think so. 

8 comments:

  1. Cliffhangers are pretty good, I think. It leaves the reader wanting to know more

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  2. Although cliffhangers are great for building suspense and stuff I'm pretty annoyed that you left it like that Mark haha, now I really can't wait for the next chapter, hope you post it soon!

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  3. >please refrain from killing blows
    Oh hey it's actually a proper goddamn fighting club! 8D

    Also, cliffhangers are good. Keeps us, well, hanging for more. ;D

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  4. just like that?

    where's the right now? hehe

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  5. I mean, when is the "right" now..

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  6. Nice chapter again, and yes, quite the abrupt halt! Thanks for the heads up about all the action that we'll be seeing in the next few chapters - there's a chance I'll be reading it through the cracks between my fingers as I cover my eyes ;-)

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  7. Keep up the cliff hangers they're the best thing for keeping your readers hungry for more :)

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  8. I read a bit, and it looks pretty interesting, going to have to make some time and read from the beginning - thanks for the post
    Take a stop by my blog and check it out if you get a chance.
    -Sg7
    http://stuffguy7.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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