Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Honesty

A bit ago my very good friend and all round awesome person who is totally not lazy at all Leah made this post. She decided to join me on my journey into doing A-Z, but she's working on it at a much better pace than me. For the letter C she chose the word "challenge" and did a blogging challenge where you say 20 things to people that you wish you could actually say to them. The point is that you don't say who it's to. I thought that I would give it a shot for the letter h, as I'm about to be honest both to myself, and to others. Though of course they won't know it. I may also talk about honesty itself at a later date. So here are 20 things I wish I could say.

1. I miss you. I really do. (okay I could say that to a lot of people)

2. I'm sorry if I hurt you.

3. If I hugged you I don't think I would let you go.

4. You make me jealous very easily, often without even trying.

5. If you came back into my life, I wouldn't push you away. Even if I should.

6. I'm not sure I hate you anymore. It's been so long, and I've grown weary.

7. I have a lot more problems than you think.

8. You have a lot more problems than you think.

9. Why are you doing this? He's not right for you and you know it. So why?

10. Sometimes I want you to use me.

11. Open up to me. Please. I can help.

12. You've hurt me. A lot. So much I'm not sure I can allow myself to forgive you.

13. Please, don't try to be nice to me. I hate that.

14. You're so awesome it hurts.

15. Can I have this dance?

16. Why did you go?

17. I'm not entirely sure I was kidding. Then again I never am.

18. I looked you up not long back. I wish I didn't.

19. I would have given you anything I could.

20. I will give you anything I can.

So, there you have it. Even though I got out of Leah which ones were about me, I don't think I plan on telling anyone who this stuff is about. It's about several people. Though of course I'm a nice person and all so I'd probably cave quickly.Plus actually between when I initially wrote this and now, I've forgotten some of them.

42 comments:

  1. Number 14 is about me, isn't it?
    I'm sorry, I can't help being this awesome, I was born this way! :<

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you are pretty awesome, but you weren't who I really had in mind for it I'm afraid.

      Delete
  2. Even if you don't tell whomever they were for, you have now said them, and sometimes that makes you feel better!

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    Replies
    1. Heh I wish it did. It didn't make me feel much better.

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  3. I like the way you stated number 6 Mark. Hating someone takes so much effort and after a while it does wear thin.

    You didn't update in my Google reader or on my blogroll today.

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    Replies
    1. Well I haven't really changed anything around, so I think it should have still shown up. At least some people seem to have found the place, and I don't think all of them are here because they thought that something might be wrong because I didn't update. Who knows? That wasn't the original number six, I had to change it. But I still like it too. Shame though that there are plenty of people I still hate.

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  4. This is very interesting to me buddy, I seriously wonder who they're all about, I really know the feelings you exhibit in some of these too, all too well in factg.

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    1. I did really forget some of the people they were meant for. I think I know most of them now though. They are mostly for people not in my life anymore. It's why it's the things I wish I could say. There's a good reason I can't.

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  5. This is a neat idea. It's hard for me to be this honest - even to myself. There are some things I just want to push away and never think about again :)

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    Replies
    1. Same here. Plenty in fact. There are still some things about myself I'll never tell anyone. Some things I won't tell other people. There are even things I won't allow myself to accept.

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  6. Some of them are very heartfelt and still painful!

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    1. Thanks man. Not letting people know who it's for didn't really help much.

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  7. This is a great idea!Is each of the numbers aimed toward a different person? Well, anyway, at least you got all of this out in the open.

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    Replies
    1. Nah a few are aimed at the same person, and some are aimed at more than one person even. I think it says a lot about the people I surround myself with.

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  8. I didn't know you were doing this challenge. someone asked me to do this too but I don't think I can for my recent situation. I feel so bad :(

    I wish I have all the guts in the world to say these things to someone. As in, the 1-20..

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    Replies
    1. Even I don't have that much in the way of bravery :) I hope you feel better soon.

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  9. yeah i don't know, i mite sound like a way to cool dude but those all sound desperate or like lies an ex would say to get some poon. except 15. and to seal the deal include a check box type thing that says "smile = yes" and "backflip = no"

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    Replies
    1. Not all of them are. A few are aimed at my ex mind.

      Delete
  10. Number 15, this Mark's got class.
    10 and or 11 may or may not be about me? Also I'd guess at 14 but obviously that's not really the case.
    Though some of these apply to a lot of people, right?

    ...pffshit what are you and Leah doing to me I may end up doing one of these myself. ):

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got class coming all up out my ass.
      If you think they apply to you then who knows, they could. I don't want to break your heart and say none of them apply. I call plagiarism! Nah, you don't know, it could do you some good.

      Delete
    2. Cl-ass.
      Could also be read as "chloride-ass". Eww.

      You? Breaking my heart? Hah, unlikely if not pretty much impossible. But, none of them apply then, I take it?

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    3. Come on Fang!! Doooo eeettt!!! xD

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    4. I could totally break your heart Fang. I want him to do it now too Leah, just to see what he'll say :)

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    5. I'll secretly do all 15 about Mark. How does that sound?

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    6. Well that's not really secret now is it? Plus how many ways can you say "I love you"?

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  11. This is a good list, but if you are going to be honest you might as well just straight up tell them. Only live once after all, but that's just how I feel about it.

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    Replies
    1. While that is accurate and correct, I'm not that brave.

      Delete
  12. I agree with number 13 buttholes try to be nice sometimes and usually you can always tell its only because they want something from you

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  13. These are very heartfelt, Mark. Very powerful.

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  14. These are all so apologetic. Mine would be way more angry. :P

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    Replies
    1. I had one very very angry one that I was going to write, and then I realized I just wasn't that hateful anymore.

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  15. Yep. That's me.. not lazy at all. Psyche!! xD

    Lemme see..

    1. I miss you, too. :)
    2. It's okay. You're truly sorry so you're forgiven.
    3. Same. I'm not sure if I would let go..
    4. D'aww..

    Wait.. these aren't all for me, eh Mark? hehe.. I'm KIDDING!! :D

    Anyway, some of these are ... sad. Kinda heart-breaking, especially the #12. :(

    *hugs you*..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You aren't lazy. You went and commented on old posts :P

      D'awwwwww well some of them do apply to you. Now you've gone and responded to some a few more than I realized do :P Inside I'm a sad and lonely and often twisted individual :) I'll get by. But I do miss you sometimes, and I wouldn't let go of you if I hugged you :P

      Come to think of it I HAVE said those to you. Bah, this whole post was a waste xD

      *hugses*

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    2. Hehe.. weelllll...... ;P

      Yes, you've already mentioned those. Tell me something I don't know. ahehe.. xD

      *hugs you again*

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    3. Hugging ftw :P *huggssss* Well to be fair some of them are for you that I haven't told you before :P

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  16. Nice honest confessions. Writing these here for other people to read is not the easiest thing to do, I'm not sure if I would be able to do it, so kudos to you :)

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  17. Wow I can relate to so many of these right now. Funny thing is I don't know if I would have a few months ago :/ funny how things can change in such a short space of time!

    Great idea though! enjoyed reading this.

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  18. These types of challenges can be so much fun... and also tear us apart. There are some good things you've said here... also, perhaps, some that should be let go, but that is not truly for me to say. Nice post.

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  19. I really want to take advantage of the fact that you stated you could potentially cave, but I won't. I hope that person never uses you. You deserve so much better than that.

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  20. Stumbled across this from Hazel's blog. This is such a neat idea, although I don't usually partake in the groupie-blog-fests. But neat idea none the less :)

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  21. I'm here by way of Hazel and you have some great honest things here.

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  22. The awesome one that's about me isnt it?! Yes? YES! Haha i am joking of course! No need to fear!

    How are you my friend? I love these 20 things, they are beautiful <3 xxxx

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