Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Bullying

Before I start I want to say that I was a lifelong victim of bullying, I suffered from it in every school I went to, and even outside school. So if you get offended or anything, well, I didn't mean to do it. I'm talking from experience here.

Bullying is by far not a good thing. The deliberate detriment and abuse of others is one of the worst examples humanity has to offer. There is no denying this really. But, and this is where it gets interesting, there is an upside to bullying. That's right folks, I actually said that.

You see, bullying pushes people to better themselves.

You may know that a lot of celebrities say that they were bullied. Oddly enough a lot of models and pretty girls from Hollywood say the same. That they were bullied as kids, especially for the way they looked. This causes most people to think "What? Someone as pretty as you?" and well these people probably were not always pretty. Someone pointing out your flaws can drive you to improve upon them.

Look at Mini-Zangief (whose name has long since been forgotten) who stood up for himself when no one else would, and beat the crap out of the kid who bullied him and went viral. That is an example of what pushing someone to their limits can accomplish. Though I think he expressed himself in the wrong way. Violence isn't the answer to bullying.

Being awesome is.

My best friend, Jessica, was almost destroyed by bullying. She managed to pick herself up though, and I have heard her say that she wants to be awesome because she wants to throw it in the face of everyone who hurt her. She wants to do what they said she never could. Even our teachers called her a failure and said she'd never amount to anything. She used it as fuel, and by God is she awesome.

Just be there for bullied kids. Listen to what they have to say, and help them obtain true revenge. Not by beating the crap out of the bullies, but by becoming better than they could ever hope to be.

Bullying is wrong, but there are some people, that for whatever reason, will always be bullies, and nothing will change that. Even though I was a victim of bullying, I myself bullied other kids at one time or another. There are kids who can't help it, as well as some that are just malicious little shits.

Bullying is two sides of the same coin. Help the victim better themselves, but don't neglect to understand why it all happened in the first place. Usually a bully actually has worse problems than the people they hurt to make themselves feel better.

63 comments:

  1. >I myself bullied other kids at one time or another.
    Bluh dude. ):

    Thought this to be a post on how bad it was and all, but apparently it isn't. Never looked at it that way, though I still think it's pretty awful. They never pointed out any of my flaws, they bullied me just because why the fuck not.

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    1. I tried to break a kids arm once just to see if I could. It is a bad thing, but there can be positives in the negatives, as with everything in life. Bullying is awful, and it needs to stop, but adversity can bring out the best in someone.

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  2. I agree completely with this Mark, word for word in fact. Bullying is horrible yes, and it's done by only the weakest of people but bullying does cause us to strive to better ourselves and that's never a bad thing really. Between the age of say 11 to 13 I was bullied constantly but this forced myself to readjust what it was about me that these bullies didn't like and it cause me to make myself a better person. Great post buddy.

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    1. Well only change what has to be changed as well :) Sometimes the uniqueness that people will attack you for, is what makes you who you are, and you should never compromise that to fit in.

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  3. I see your point and just like everything else I think that the media has blown things up. I think almost everyone suffered from some kind of bullying at one time or another, and in best cases it does make you better yourself. But since most people raise their kids by the notion that "everyone should be a winner" and that it is ok to walk over people, some kids today may not be tough enough to take it - and like I said - the media just makes things worse.

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    1. Pretty much everyone has been hurt by another person for purely malicious reasons at one time or another. It's not really okay to walk over other people to get to where you want to be. Some people don't have that killer instinct, and some people can't take it happening to them. The media never really helps make anything better :)

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  4. Pressure is needed to form diamonds and great people =)

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    1. That's a good one :) I may have to use it some time.

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  5. I agree with the bully usually having greater problems, I'm afraid I dealt with my bullying with violence!

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    1. My stepdad always told me to hit back, but it just wasn't me. Plus they verbally assaulted me. I think if someone did physically hit me, I'd probably fight back. I only got in to a fight once. Maybe I'll talk about it for F.

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  6. Word.

    Kudos to all those who stood up against bullying and bettered themselves.

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    1. Kudos indeed :) It takes more strength to live than it does to die.

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  7. bullies are jerks. i usually make fun of em, cause they are generally retards and i'm a pretty awesome nice guy. true story.

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    1. You aren't that much of an awesome nice guy if you're making fun of people, even bullies. Two wrongs don't make a right.

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  8. I feel like the whole cyber thing adds a level I never experienced as a kid.

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    1. It is true that makes it a whole lot worse but it's not like it's difficult to close your facebook account, or make a new one. Cyber bullying in a way is easier to avoid than IRL bullying. Except for things like "happy slapping".

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  9. Right on! I ran into a kid who used to be a bully in middle school, and not only was I much taller than him now, but drugs definately got the better of him as he looked absolutely run-down. He was also unemployed and smelled like crap.

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    1. Karma can do a lot more to retaliate for you than you can yourself :) End up awesome, and then laugh as they work for you.

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  10. I know exactly what you mean. I was bullied from second grade to fith and you know what? I think it helped me become a better person. I was bullied and it made me aware that being mean to someone is not something I WILL EVER Do and it made me want to help the underdogs. so to my bullies I want show the middle finger and say "what now bitches?" :P

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    1. It helped me do that too. You know, after I tried it myself, and hated myself for it. I didn't feel much joy in making others feel pain. I learned that I didn't want to make anyone feel how I felt, and so now I really do try my hardest to make people feel happy and loved. A crotch chop would be funnier than flipping the bird though :) Well done you :)

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  11. Hey there Mark, I couldn't keep away. Bullying is such a terrible thing! Breaks my heart to see children doing it to one another. Sometimes hard to understand why it happens.

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    1. None can resist me. No, wait, that's the other way around. I'm very resistible >_> It's not that hard to understand what happens if you take the time to listen. Instead of just calling a child evil, and making them become it, take the time to understand why they're doing. What in their life is so bad that they have to punish others for their own misery. Adversity may bring out the best in people, but so does wanting to impress someone. If you want to prove to someone you're better than you are, then even a bully can become someone great.

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  12. Bullying is no joke. My wife recently wrote a post about bullies. She went to school with a kid who was bullied and he killed himself because of it.

    I've been picked on and bullied and I have been somewhat of a bully myself. Looking back, I feel bad for picking on others and I also feel bad for those who picked on me. I agree, the bully usually has much deeper issues to deal with.

    Some of those people who picked on me long ago, have very rough and tragic lives today.

    I hope the word spreads about the impact bullying has on people. We should declare a month to bully awareness month.

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    1. I don't think I'll ever treat bullying as a joke. My stepdad gave me a suicide talk because he thought I was like that, but I know I'd never go through with it. Like I said, it takes more strength to live.

      You are one of the good ones, who came to see what it did both to you and to other people. Not everyone has that, and most people who bully others a lot end up miserable themselves really. I think there probably is quite a bit of time in the year dedicated to bullying awareness. I'm not sure if we have a month, but we probably have something.

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  13. Not to many people make that point, Mark. I agree as well. I feel like most everyone has had a moment in their lives where they felt like they were living under someone's thumb. I think it's harder for people to admit they are/were in the wrong. Even though school was rather shitty for me, it did make me tougher. The things that bother me the most these days are the memories of me being shitty with others.

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    1. I don't mind admitting when I'm in the wrong. Usually. It helps me grow and mature into a better person to understand I did something wrong. The scars from bullying can last a life time. Learn to forgive yourself. You aren't that person anymore. Life gave you a second chance, give yourself one.

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  14. I have been bullied as well. The bully kids were not as bad as the bully teachers I've had.

    I was thinking of taking your sentiment to a larger level. What if it were good for countries to get invaded by tougher countries? Maybe it has been, but it seems to lose some of the fight exemplified in your examples.

    I am stronger due to the adversity that I faced as a child. Thanks for bringing this up, Mark.

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    1. I was bullied by a teacher only once. It was awful and I can't remember how it ended, but she insisted she wasn't mean to me. I know she was though.

      I don't think people should ever go to war. Keep personal conflicts personal. It tends not to work on such a huge scale. Things like war lead to nothing but devastation and revenge. Still, I'm glad you're stronger because of what you went through. When I accept my own strength I'm going to be Godly.

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  15. waaaah! I feel bad about this. I was never bullied eversince. I used to bully anyone though and I am not proud of it. hehe..I remember I made my classmate cry when I told her she's weird or sort of. hehe

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    1. Well I'd take that as a compliment :P I'm glad you realised that it's not something to be proud of :)

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  16. "bullying pushes people to better themselves." So true, I started working hard to improve myself to prove those people wrong. Nice post man.

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    1. Prove those bastards wrong and shove your awesome down their throats.

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  17. I have been both a bully and a bullier during my life, and it is far worse in England than anywhere else. I totally agree that the bully has problems of their own, and by bullying it gives them power, and so it goes on in a vicious circle.
    You have to be brave and stand up to them, or they will crush you.

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    1. Bullying is one of the true vicious circles of life. The people become worse than what they dealt with too usually. It's just going to get worse and worse. I'm not sure how bad it is elsewhere but I have to say it's probably pretty bad in America. Teen suicides are fairly common and over there people get pushed so badly they even take themselves out in school shootings and murder suicides. Bullying itself may be worse here but the results seem so much worse over there.

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  18. "Bullying pushes people to better themselves"? Not always true because of the rash of teen suicides as of late.

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    1. Some people just can't take it. Those are the ones who need the most attention, help, and care.

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  19. Y'know, there's two types of bullying (whether it be cyber or otherwise) - the normal bullying that goes down, which does indeed help one improve in the long run (and besides, if there wasn't any bullies there'd be no need for true conflict resolution, whether it be violent or non-violent...I preferred violent though), and the psychotically sadistic shits that have been occurring more and more throughout history, especially modern day times.

    Seriously, knowing the difference between the two can save a life or three, y'knowwhatImean?

    And besides, without a villain, how can the hero or badguy rise to the occasion? I'm not saying that bullying is a GOOD thing inherently - I myself find them distasteful and will go out of my way to put them in their place the moment I smell their sewage reekin'.

    But they ARE a part of the natural order, like anything else in the food chain, y'knowwhatImean?

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    1. If you look at it that way then the second type is the best example of when you need to be watching both the bully and the person they're attacking. There are some kids that are just sadistic, and have no real reason to be. Those are the most dangerous people of all. It is also true that without bad there can be no good. Sometimes going through bad things really does help make one a better person. It did me, and other people I know. Some people go on to be bad people, but they get their comeuppance eventually.

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  20. You know what pushes people to better themselves? Encouragement. Hmmm.....

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    1. Encouragement can help a whole lot more. Let's not forget that.

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  21. Wow, Mark. So much for not having any ideas to write about it. That was a really good post. I understand your point about bullying. I was bullied..uhh..isn't that obvious? Duhh...I'm so messed up. I really don't know if I can say it made me better, since I haven't really accomplished anything of note in my life yet. It has made me different for sure. Anyway, take the example of John Lennon and Paul McCartney in the Beatles. John wasn't nescessarily bullied, but he had a hard childhood, and plenty of teachers and authority figures told him he was going "nowhere" (hence the song "Nowhere Man"). And he is usually called the genius of the Beatles who wrote all the darker tunes. Paul McCartney on the other hand had a happy childhood, and still was a genius...and he has said he didn't envy John's tough childhood at all, although John is probably more revered than he is (to some at least). Well, blah blah blah...Sorry for writing so much. I think you may be right. It is kind of hard to know for sure what a person's life would be like if they had not experienced bullying, though. I think..yeah...maybe it has made me a better person in some ways. Nice post.

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    1. I have plenty of ideas. It's just writing about them or thinking I do can do anything with them that is becoming a problem. You have a fairly successful blog and you're a pretty cool guy. You help bring smiles to people's faces. You've succeeded, even if you can't see it.

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  22. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Yeah it might help some people but bullying can and will just utterly destroy others.

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    1. Bullying will either make a person, or destroy them. As long as they live though, they can be rebuilt. I'm not however a believer in whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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  23. I thank God, I have never been bullied.. but sad to say, I was a bully a few years back. It was just me, being a rebel. *shakes head*

    Bullying is never right. They make fear as their weapon.. and it's downright stupid and pitiful.

    But I guess, being bullied.. they can somehow shape you. Like, if you take it as a challenge.. a motivation.. a drive. Like, those bullies will eat your dust.. swallow their words.. and pay and bleed, someday.

    I'm rambling..

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    1. I love to see you ramble :) I'm glad you learned from the experience and realized how stupid it is. If you use it as fuel you can do a whole lot with it, and go far.

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  24. I am bullied by someone and sometime, I do the same too! :D

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  25. Great topic. I was bullied up until I entered high school. It stopped only because the right boy paid attention for me. He was a very beautiful, sweet, and well-liked boy. It was obvious that people hated me, but they had no choice but to eat it because to pick on me was social suicide. Dating him was a huge boost to my self-esteem. When I realized how much he cared for me, I wondered why I couldn't care that way about myself. We would break up months later, but remained friends. After that, if anyone said something to me or about me that was cruel, I either did not care, or would make a warrior out of myself.

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    1. Going out with my ex didn't really help much. I was part of her social circle, and gained a few friends, but neither of us were the height of popularity. That guy helps prove that not all popular people are jackasses, though the majority still sadly are. It's cool you're still friends too, even if it didn't really work out. I think your differences make you an awesome person, not someone to be mocked.

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  26. I always found it odd I never really was bullied at school, even though I'm quite chubby. Though I've never seen bullying as well. I guess I am one of the lucky ones who managed to go through school quite contently.

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    1. You must have gone to one of the legendary good schools.

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  27. I've been at both ends of the rainbow too. That's why I think I have better understanding than most people who throw around the term in my school.

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    1. Being at both ends does help give a greater understanding.

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  28. I can totally relate to this article. I was bullied when I was in elementary but there was just this one kid who won't leave me alone. So when i get to high school, I told myself I will never allow anyone to bully me. I wasn't. At some point, I also bullied someone. I was immature. But now, I have no tolerance over bullies.

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    1. Sometimes you have to see both sides to fully understand. I'm proud of you :)

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  29. Aww *hugs*
    You're a right when you say that the people who do the bullying are messed up themselves. They usually feel inadequate about something else, so have to reaffirm their status somehow.

    And its so good that you can turn such a negative and flip it into a really good positive :)
    You and your blogs are awesome :D

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    1. Well thank you, both for the hugs and the kind words :) I can see a silver lining in pretty much everything really. There's an upside to almost everything, even if it doesn't make itself known immediately.

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  30. Poor Jessica! I was bullied in both my schools. Last time I was it was by text. The thing is they really should learn proper English before trying to insult someone!!! x

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    1. Hehe that's true but by not doing that they're proving their own stupidity, and that you shouldn't really be bothered by them. They clearly need help if they can't even spell.

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  31. You know, I didn't always have my stuffed cat to protect me from bullies. Even though elementary AND middle school were an absolute inferno for me, it's thanks to all of the idiots who teased and belittled me that I managed to become the person I am today.

    And that truly is messed up that your profs told you both that you would never amount to anything. The same thing happened to a French friend of mine, and she is now on the path to becoming a successful journalist in the States. Ha ha ha.

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. You're a pretty cool person, so don't forget that :) Thank you for proving me right too.

      Most of my teachers liked me, there were only a few that didn't. Whereas with her there were only a few, if any, that liked her. She's always been incredibly smart, probably smarter than them, she just really lacked motivation. What school put her through gave her that.

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