Thursday, 31 May 2012

I'm So Offensive It Hurts (Other People)

In accordance with my very slow moving A-Z challenge (yes I'm still doing that) I am going to tackle the letter O, and discuss offense, and offensive things.

With myself.

It's a solo effort podcast this week folks. I've not been on Skype much, especially during the evenings which is when I would usually talk to Bersercules. So, that's why it's just me on my lonesome. Well, my cat was there too, which I think meant for some unintentional comedy. It would have been funnier if this was a video podcast.

Enjoy folks!


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Wednesday, 30 May 2012

To be honest I almost didn't publish this. I wrote it last night and I decided to sleep on it. If you follow me on Twitter you probably saw me mention the most emotional post I've ever written, which would never be published. Last night though I barely got any sleep at all, probably over this even. I feel emotionally drained enough to post it, and let down my defences for once. I'm actually going to add a little more to it.

It's no (pun intended) secret that I have trouble saying no. I say no to drugs obviously. But I don't say no easy to a person's request. To people themselves. I've done some things I don't want to, and stretched myself way too far just by refusing to refuse something. I know most of the reason I do it to. In fact the song I'm listening to right now sums it up. I Want To Be Loved by Bon Jovi. It's well known I am a people pleaser. I will do anything and everything I can for someone. I am a good guy, sure, but part of it is also my endless search for acceptance and admiration. I want to be wanted, and I need to be needed. I've been used before, but really who hasn't? I have no trouble at all saying that I come in to someone's life when they need someone like me, and then they leave after I have improved them. You can call me egotistical for thinking that, but it's amazing how much you can change a person just by being there for them, and by doing things for them. By being used by them I guess.

This has left me as well with serious abandonment issues. If you've talked to me off of the blog, you can probably tell I come on very strong, at least at first. I talk to you at every opportunity and then I'll either die down, or just stop. I take it upon myself to push you away before I am pushed away by you, and I feel abandoned again. But here's the fun thing. It hurts no less. It still hurts just as much if you push someone away yourself, or if they push you away. All that matters is that you've still lost them. All that matters is that they're further away than they should be, and it's still your fault. You did this to yourself. There are many fates worse than death, and self imposed solitude is certainly one of them.

What's even funnier is that the only people who are worth my time, who won't leave me behind, are the ones who won't mind if I say no. Are the ones who won't make me feel like some kind of asshole for not doing what they want. Though even some of those people have left me behind. I need to allow myself the possibility of being hurt. There's a chance I won't be, right? But potentially being hurt can lead to happiness. Deliberately getting hurt can only lead to further depression.

Jessica is probably the only person I am truly close to. She's the only person who after so long, has still not abandoned me. Who is still there. Sometimes I feel like I don't appreciate that enough, don't appreciate her enough. I'm so quick to open up, and yet so quick to keep myself hidden, and protected. I'm so quick to take back everything. I'm quick to deny to myself and to others that I might feel something. I don't want to. I don't want to be hurt again. To get back to songs, it's like Hurt by Johnny Cash (yes I'm aware that it was by Nine Inch Nails but if they're going to say it's a Johnny Cash song then so am I) "Everyone I know, goes away, in the end."

I'm going to pull you towards me with one hand, and push you away with the other. I'm going to want to get close to you, and be afraid of it at the same time. I'm going to try and be by myself, and refuse to let someone in. I'm going to deny everything. I'm going to feel and not let it be known.

For that, I am sorry.

Stick with me.


I'm worth it in the end. I think. If I wasn't why would Jessica have stuck with me for so long? She must have found something that was worth not giving up on. She's given up on people herself a few times, and tells me off for not giving up on people myself. I won't though.

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

My Friends

At first I was actually going to have a real moanfest where I bitched about "me" and how crap my life is currently going right now. Instead though I serioused, and cheered, the fuck up, and I got some very nice things in the mail yesterday. About an hour or so after saying that I would blog about Fang's presents when they showed up, they showed up. As you probably know by now, last Saturday was my birthday, and what you also potentially know is that Fang sent me something. It wasn't just him though, there was something from mutual friend Levy, and something from some random guy they'd never even mentioned before. So prepare for pictures!

BEHOLD THE RAINBOW DASH! This is from Fang. It wasn't Fluttershy, but I'll take anything really.  If you're wondering what's wrong with her tail it was tucked under her when she was in her plastic stand, and it's kind of stuck that way.

A lovely card from Levy. Almost every little bit of this was written on. Even the back. The only thing not written on is the front. At first I thought this was from both her and Fang because it had two separate colours in it, but it was just her being schizophrenic. 

This is the letter from the random guy telling me my true origins where somehow Fang is my father. I can't tell you the whole tale though, the fate of the multiverse may depend on me keeping my secret origins a secret.

This is the letter from Fang. The handwriting is very hard to make out, but it is quite similar to my dad's, which supports the theory that Fang IS my father. Which is a connection I only just made now. 

I have some really awesome friends <3 I'd spend an entire post talking about them, but the main point was to actually share the presents these guys sent me. Now I need to find something else for "P" though. I just didn't want to wait to gush all over this stuff.

Monday, 28 May 2012

A Live Round Up

You're witnessing quite a rarity here. Not only am I writing a post live (as in not scheduling, I'm not writing while you read) but this is the second day in a row I've done it. I don't think I'm going to get used to it though, for various reasons. Chief of which is my unmotivated laziness. If I didn't schedule posts then I'd put off doing them and I'd just not blog. Already I do that now really, so I have nothing scheduled. Anyway, on to the business of the day, before I fall asleep again.

Tuesday the subject was "justification" and I gave some of my thoughts on what I thought could and couldn't be justified. For the most part though it was an anti-war and anti-death penalty rant I must admit. To balance the equation I said that I would steal food to live if I had to. The comments on this one got pretty interesting.

Wednesday was karma. I'm not too sure if I gave any original opinion on the subject. I just agree with karma. Again the comments were a good thing. That's one thing that has come from this A-Z stuff which I'm still somehow doing. Some of the subjects inspire such great comments. Though I love you guys anyway of course <3

Thursday was the latest podcast with Bersercules. It wasn't that good though, for me anyway. I was pretty depressed at the time of recording. I wasn't very talkative and there was a lot of silence. Bersercules seemed to think there was some good in it though. Plus there was me acting like a teenage girl when I was way too shy to talk about Leah. No offence to any teenage girls out there.

Friday was me writing about Leah instead of talking about her. During the podcast I said that if I had to write about her, I could do that, and write a lot. I felt like proving myself right. It turns out I was right, because I'm awesome. Though not as awesome as Leah.

Saturday was an obligatory birthday post. It was my birthday if you must know. I got a new Xbox 360 from my dad (part funded by me) and I told the epic tale of my fight with the forces of evil with my allies known as Microsoft tech support. I got £10 from my mum and stepdad, and Fang has sent me something (I'll be sure to bluh all over it when it gets here) and I got something super amazing from Leah. Yes I'm mentioning her again, but really, it was great. She made a birthday message for me, which really made me smile. That's all I got. One of my sisters totally forgot. Twice. My brother says he wished me a happy birthday when I don't remember him saying it at all, and my youngest sister got me just a card (she's young though, I understand) and my eldest sister said happy birthday over a text, and that was it. Now, I don't want to sound like a tragic figure really. I forget their birthdays all the time. I really don't mind that they forgot, or didn't get me anything. Jessie got me a few DVD's as well, which is always awesome :) She knows me better than anyone else so I can count on her to get me things I'll like.

Sunday I posted a late chapter in Immortal Space. I had been meaning to post it on Friday and I went and challenged myself like that. It was mostly fight scenes, and I'm yet to act upon Fang's constructive criticism I change a sentence around. I'm not lazy, I'm unmotivated. I may also do something about the walls of text. I can format it for a book when it's, well, a book.

Sunday, 27 May 2012

A Late Chapter

Chapter Twelve; View

A few quick words. First of all I was supposed to give you this chapter a day early, not a day late. However I challenged myself to do that post about Leah, and I could hardly hold off a birthday post now could I? Also, the fighting in this chapter, and indeed probably this book, is mostly based on my knowledge of professional wrestling. I must say that writing for my collab wrestling blog certainly helped here. However, fights don't usually go like a professional wrestling match at all. If I was going to draw inspiration for fights I would have been better off watching MMA. So, if the fights seem unrealistic, then you can tell me as such. The sword fights in my other book seem a lot more realistic and plausible. Okay I've said my bit.

So, last time we left the action, it was on a dirty filthy cliff hanger. Trent was about to start his first fight in the 9th Circle Fight Club. Plus Geoff had placed a bet on him to win everything with a rather shifty man sat next to him. Let's get on with the show!

After the announcer left the cage and made sure it was locked, he motioned at the referee who then motioned himself for the fight to start. Trent and Max walked towards each other slowly. Trent looked calm but Max was smirking, thinking himself lucky. When they were about a foot apart Max suddenly leaped forward and aimed a punch at Trent's face. Trent ducked under it and thrust his palms upwards, striking Max in the stomach. Max flew back and landed about half a foot away on his back. He coughed and writhed around on the ground, winded from the blow. There were a few gasps from the crowd at this. Even Geoff was looking on in amazement. Trent walked up to him and picked him up. While he was groggy on his feet Trent took a few steps back and jumped forward kicking his foot out and hitting Max in the chest. Max was knocked off his feet again and this time slammed in to the cage, shouting out in pain as he hit it. Trent stepped back to the other side of the cage and lowered his body, getting ready to charge at Max. He started running towards him but Max saw him coming and did his best to roll out of the way. Trent stopped himself before hitting the cage and picked Max up again. He leaned him against the cage and started hitting him in the stomach. The crowd was silent and every blow could be heard as Max's back was pushed against the cage. Each time he was hit Max cried out in pain. After about five punches Trent took a step back and delivered a huge kick to the side of Max's head, knocking him down on to the ground. The referee ran over and made Trent back off a few steps while he checked Max over. He was still breathing, but he wouldn't be fighting again for a while. He was knocked clean out and his back was covered in blood from where the cage had opened him up. The referee called the fight off and motioned to the announcer who opened the door to the prep room and motioned at someone in there. A medical team came out and put Max on a stretcher carefully before taking him in to the back. Trent walked back to the back of the cage and sat on the floor. The announcer walked back into the middle of the cage and motioned to Trent.
“L-l-ladies and gentlemen, your winner, by way of knockout, Trent!”. The crowd were still slightly shocked, but started clapping and cheering. After a few seconds it got louder as everyone snapped out of it and joined in. Geoff didn't though, he was still stunned by what he had seen. He had thought Trent was strong to come here in the first place, but he wasn't expecting anything like what he just witnessed. After that the announcer called in the next fighter, who was smaller even than Max. Trent managed to defeat him faster than he had beaten Max. He punched him in the stomach a few times before thrusting his knee into his stomach before giving him a side kick to it and then kicking him in the head. The fight was quickly called off by the referee after a quick check revealed that Trent's opponent had been knocked out. The next fighter to come out was a bit bigger than Max was, and put up more of a fight. He was able to block Trent's initial punches and gave Trent an elbow thrust to the stomach and punched him in the face. Trent shook it off, slapped his face and looked up at the fighter. He charged at him and jumped off his chest, back-flipping and kicking him in the chin. Trent landed on his feet and charged at the fighter again. This time he jumped up, and thrust both his feet out into the guy's chest, knocking him back. Trent stayed on him, making him land hard on his back. Trent stepped off him and picked him up. He draped him over his knee and dug it into his back. The guy cried out in pain before shouting that he gave up. Trent let him go and walked back to his side of the cage. The fighter was helped out of the cage and counted himself lucky he could walk out, even if he did need some help. The fourth fight was over relatively quickly too. It seemed that no one could really hurt Trent, or even come close to hitting him sometimes. After the fourth fight a brief intermission was called, and Trent was allowed a few minutes rest. He stayed on the floor near the cage wall where he was but Geoff came up to him.
“Where did you learn to fight like that?” he asked him, still in awe of his impressive display.
“It's a long story kid. I'll tell you when all this is over. For now, sit tight and watch me win a few more fights. We're halfway through now. It shouldn't take long.”. Geoff nodded and went back to his seat while Trent crossed his legs, folded his arms, and waited for his next opponent. The man whom Geoff had betted with watched the exchange between Geoff and Trent closely, before turning to face the cage and wait for the next fight.

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Tis The Anniversary Of My Birth And I Shalt Weep If I So Choose

If any of you remember, at the start of the month I said there would be an announcement on the 26th of May. If you can decipher the blog title (mega bonus points if you get the reference) then you can work out that today is the ostentious anniversary of my birth. Otherwise known as my birthday. Contrary to the tile of this post though I doubt I'll be crying any time soon. Well, they'll be tears of joy at least.

Yesterday didn't go so great though. I was out in town with my dad and so decided to pick up my present a day early. You may recall me saying I was getting an iPod soon. Originally the plan was to get an iPod for my birthday. Instead I got a new Xbox 360, with Kinect. My old Xbox finally died after six or seven years of faithful service to it's lord and master (me) and so I thought I would replace it, rather than replace a functioning device. After what seemed like forever buying the thing (thank you very much big time supermarket for keeping all your precious, precious, Xboxes stored in the back) I did finally get it home. Where I proceeded to love and cherish it. Until things went wrong. If you follow me on Twitter you may have heard the story. What happened is that I had transferred my old gamer profile on to my new Xbox, but because I made the profile so long ago, I had forgotten the log in details for it. After the first call to customer support (which, despite my tweets, wasn't so bad) I had begun to lose all hope. The only way to get the information would be to get my old Xbox working, and find the information out through there. Thankfully my old Xbox had enough life left for such a short excursion, and I was able to access my profile. However I had an outdated Xbox dashboard, so was not able to get the information. Leaving me, once again, hopeless. After scouring through my emails for anything related to my Gamertag, I hit gold. It turned out that instead of being created in a Windows Live ID, like Xbox suggest is the only way to do it, I had created my profile through my gmail account. I was one step closer to my goal. I made another call to customer service, and between us me and Vladimir (that really was his name. Epic Russian dudes ftw) I was able to change my password without knowing it, and so I regained full access of my profile, and began my journey into the everlasting dark that is being a gamer once again, and we all lived happily ever after. Especially me.

Okay I'm going to admit I can be a good writer, it sounds like I made that into an epic tale of bravery and heroism.

Though really the true bright spot of my day has been, for the third day in a row, Miss Leah. Who did the most super special wonderously terrific awesome thing I think has been done to me. Which sadly did not involve a bedroom, and bottles of wine. She made me a birthday message, a really sweet and awesome one as well that really I just can't praise enough. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it with you guys. She posted it on her blog, and so I'm going to post it on mine, just so I can point at it, and say "someone made that for me. Someone really special and awesome".

Thank you Leah, very much, for giving me something that has truly made me happy, more than all the Xboxes in the world could <3

Though if I owned all the Xboxes, I'd be rich enough to come a calling. Hmm...

Friday, 25 May 2012

L Is Actually For Leah

So in the podcast yesterday when I brought up Leah I said that if I had to write about her, I could have done so much more. I love proving myself right. See she's doing an A-Z thingy herself (inspired by me apparently) and because she's actually doing it pretty often and not taking breaks for stories, comedies, round ups, and podcasts, she's much further ahead of me. I've suggested to her on three separate occasions (M, R, and T) that she could do a post about me. She almost did too but she lost her confidence. See she was going to ask me some questions but she wasn't happy with the ones she could come up with, even if I insisted they were fine. I didn't think the ones I asked her for her Q post were very good but there you are. There's one thing I didn't consider though about writing a post for someone else.

It's friggin' embarrassing. Both for you and the person you're writing about. The reason I didn't say anything about her yesterday even though I fully intended to actually, was because I was way too shy/nervous/embarrassed to do it.

But I do know how kick ass a person she is. She runs two Twitter accounts, @SuperLeah_ and @Leahtweets_, personally I recommend SuperLeah. She has two accounts because she does a lot of RP, or role playing. Leahtweets was her first account but people kept complaining at her, or just being confused (I was confused, not complaining) that she did way too much RP, so she got herself a normal, real life, account. Except she doesn't update that one too much now. She'll still talk if you poke her though. So I thoroughly recommend following her on Twitter, and telling her I sent you, just so she can wonder what the hell I've done this time.

I'm trying to avoid total embarrassment for the both of us, so I think I should maybe try and end it. She's a pretty cool person, who's not as lazy as she thinks she is, and she's good to me. That's all I'll ever really ask for. Though of course she is pretty, and pretty awesome I guess I couldn't avoid total embarrassment after all. I also didn't say that just because she asked me.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

L Is For Lingering Silence

Hey guys. It's another podcast with Bersercules. There are a fair few silences here. The main point of it was supposed to be the letter L, as I was trying to intergrate A-Z with podcasts so that it wouldn't take so long. Things didn't exactly go to plan though. Mostly on account of my current state of depression. I hope you find something in here to enjoy. PS Even though I tried to make it so that it recorded on joint stereo, and not each voice going to it's own speaker, it didn't work right, so if a voice is missing, either your speakers, or your headphones, are broken.

As per usual it's on the main site as well at if the embedded player isn't working.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012


I've talked a little about my spiritual beliefs before. Okay maybe a lot. But I'm going to talk about one thing in particular this time. That is the concept of karma. As the title suggested. The main principle of karma, expressed in quite possibly it's most simple form is "Do good things and good things happen to you, do bad and bad things happen." I borrowed that line pretty much straight from the old TV show My Name Is Earl. It's about a guy who was a petty criminal and discovered karma after being hit by a car after winning the lottery and being divorced by his wife in hospital because she was leaving him for a black man. Don't worry there's no racism. That show was pretty good, but it lacked an ending. It was cancelled during it's fourth season, which ended on a cliff hanger. I think that they didn't realise they wouldn't get a fifth season until after the fourth was done.

Anyway I'm not here to talk about TV shows, I'm here to talk about karma. I have actually seen some good examples of karma. As you know I was surrounded by, well, quite simply, bastards, when I was in school. Most of these people have actually gone on to lead pretty shitty lives. I think that overall I probably lean more towards good, though I accept I have done, and continue to do a lot of bad. Don't look at me like that, it's true. It's the main reason I never really understand when something good happens to me, and it's one of the reasons I guess I strive to do so much good. Though I do just enjoy helping other people as well. I don't exactly feel like the universe really rewards me for what I've done, so I'm hardly doing it out of some feeling that I have to be good.

I do know though that some good has been given to me. I often wonder just what I've done to deserve Jessica in my life. I also wonder just what I've done to deserve some of you folks in my life. Though I suppose some may consider my blog to be a good thing. I've also experienced a fair share of bad from this world, I just don't like to really think on that. The more I think on that, the less I feel like blogging. I've done too many things I shouldn't, and not enough things I should.

Still, like I said, some good has come from here, and I've done some good with here. I've helped some people I met from here, and some I have become quite close with. Maybe a little too close. But for now I'm just still in my old mind set of being there for anyone who needs me, and I couldn't stay away even if I wanted to. For all my claims of being an anti-social person who shuns forming bonds, I know I'm readily available to do it.

I really went off topic there. So, to get back on topic, and to end the post, one of my favourite songs. I think this song can sum up karma pretty well, plus it's just downright cool.

Tuesday, 22 May 2012


I often call myself someone who can do anything as long as I can justify it to myself. I think I've said it here a few times and really I still find it to be true. I operate outside regular morals. Though there is such a thing as something that isn't justified. The reasons given are not really enough, or ever would be. One of these things for me is war. I can't really see the justification for war. For example the Iraq war that began in 2001 was "justified" by the September 11th attacks, which were "justified" for reasons I'm not too sure of. I think the given reason was religion. I think I don't want this to turn into a post just about war. Or peace. I have other letters to do that with.

So let's go on to something else. Murder for example. There are plenty of people who have killed for what they believed themselves to be the "right" reasons. I know I said I can do anything as long as I can justify it but really murder isn't one of those things. I could probably kill someone if I felt I had absolutely no choice, if it was kill or be killed, but I wouldn't really think it was right. If someone wronged me, or someone I loved, I wouldn't resort to murder. I'd be pissed sure, but I don't think I'd go that far.

This is one of the things that is a vicious circle. Someone kills someone, then that person is killed, and then someone else is killed, and so on. The death sentence is murder. You say that a person can't kill, but then all of a sudden you can? There are many fates worse than death. For some people death would be a release. Because they are tortured so much by their crimes. Though of course some people are just insane and it won't affect them. These people should just be locked up. Not even the law should be above the law.

Sigh, in the end, I went off topic anyway.

Stealing, there's another good example. You have plenty of people who steal so that they can eat, or live another day. Really that I can understand. I can tell myself "that probably was the right thing to do." If I came across a starving person who tried to rob me, I'd probably do the cliche good guy thing of just giving them money or food after catching them. I'm glad I've never starved so much I have to steal to live, and I hope I never have to find out.

There, I ended back on the right point.


Monday, 21 May 2012

Doing The Round Up

To be honest I'm tired, weak, and I haven't felt anything close to "healthy" in quite a while. Plus today is my mothers birthday and I have no idea what to get her, even now. Thankfully if I do see her today it won't be until mid-afternoon, so if I want to find something today I still have the chance. Right now I just want to curl up and continue my slow descent to Hell. That said, I'm glad today is a day when I can just tell you the things I've already done, rather than try and come up with something new to do. Which I'll have to do by tomorrow. Drat and blast.

Last Tuesday  I talked about giving, and how I in fact often give too much. Often to the wrong people as well actually. I put other people ahead of myself all the time, and will go really far out of my way to do something for someone. I've been used a lot, sure, but I still do it. It's part of what makes me, me. If I let some bastards ruin my awesome for other people, then it's just not fair on the other people now is it?

Wednesday I kind of talked about honesty. What actually happened is that I took a leaf out of Leah's book and posted 20 things that I wish I could say. It was mostly depressing stuff, interspersed with a bit of mushy stuff.

Thursday was the latest, and last in the current series, of my podcasts with Bersercules. We hope to get at least one more recorded by this Thursday, and it would be nice if it became a more permanent thing. Only time will really tell though. As per usual I can't really remember what we talked about, but Bersercules enjoyed it, and so did pretty much everyone else who listened.

Friday I posted the long awaited interview between myself and Kbbuddingwriter. Well, what actually happened is that I got seriously lazy/unmotivated/generally depressed and didn't edit anything and just posted him saying the questions I sent him and answering them. It was generally well received by everyone but Kb who wanted some things edited out. I'm not going to censor anyone though.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Saturday I posted another part in my story. I pulled a major dick move though and ended on a cliffhanger. Don't worry though you won't have to wait until Saturday for the next part. I'll probably post it as soon as I've rewritten it. God damn rewrites. I also possibly did some retconning, but I think I got away with it. It's not as big a retcon as Harry Potter. See in the fifth book he can see the horses that pull the carriages. These horses can only be seen by people who have witnessed death. Here's the odd thing though. He could see them in his fifth year because he saw someone die in the fourth book. BUT he couldn't see them at the end of the fourth book, when the carriages took them back to the train. Furthermore he should have been able to see them anyway because he saw at the very least his mother die. I'm not sure if he saw his father die but his mother died right there in front of him trying to protect him. Again, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Feel free to correct me on my logic here.

Sunday because I was tired I took a request from Althea and posted a video of Scottish comedian Kevin Bridges. He's a hilarious guy but he does have a pretty think accent that can be tough to get if you aren't familiar with it. Still worth a listen though, he's a damn funny guy.

Well I did indeed as per usual write more than I intended to. Though that was mostly due to my slight rant there about Harry Potter. I'm sure it's not the only plot hole in there. Ginny looking disturbingly like Harry's mum is hardly a plot hole though, nor is Dumbledore's brother shagging goats. Just really disturbing things.

Sunday, 20 May 2012

From Ireland To Scotland

So we've had a plethora of Irish comedians I have for you instead a Scottish one instead. Althea suggested I post a video on Kevin Bridges and because I'm really tired and I've had fun with Jessie I'm going to just post some. So here you go. He's really funny, but a few people might have trouble with the accent I think.

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Rewrites And Retcons

Chapter one:
Chapter two:
Chapter three:
Chapter four:
Chapter Five:
Chapter Six:
Chapter Seven:
Chapter Nine:
Chapter Ten;
Chapter Eleven;

Well I was able to do some more rewrites, and a bit more on that after the chapter. For now, a brief recap. Trent has gone into The 9th Circle fight club, and Geoff has joined him there. After a brief reunion Geoff went to take his seat in the stands while Trent went into a back room to prepare. There really wasn't much to recap.

When he walked in the preparation room Trent saw that there were eight other men there. He really did cut it close if there was this many people already. They were all well built but he didn't think that he couldn't take any of them. He found an empty locker and took his shirts off and stuffed them inside. He also took his boots off but left his jeans on. He had nothing to change in to. He would be fine in his jeans, he thought to himself. He'd fought in them before. He also figured that if it was harder for him to move then maybe his opponents would have a bit more of a chance. He sat on the floor and leaned against the locker, tapping his feet while he waited. A few minutes later he heard the door open and watched as he saw a man in a suit enter the room.
“Any volunteers for who goes in first? Or do we need to draw lots?” he asked. Trent was on his feet almost immediately. You earned money based on how many fights you won, so he wanted to go in as soon as possible and earn as much as he could. He wasn't sure how much a new engine might be, so the more money he had the better.
“I'll go in first,” he said, “you can draw lots to decide who fights me.” The announcer looked Trent up and down before turning to face the rest of the guys.
“Any problems with that?” he asked them. All the other men shook their heads and some were smirking, hoping that they would get to fight Trent. They saw him as an easy victory. The announcer stepped into the room properly and motioned Trent out, asking him his name as he walked past. Trent said to just call him Trent as he walked past and out into the room. He heard a mix of cheers and boos as he walked towards the cage. Geoff watched him walk down the aisle and noticed that although Trent had a rather athletic build, he didn't seem to have much in the way of muscles. He also noticed that although there were no markings on Trent's body there was a cross shaped scar on his chest. Right where his heart was. Geoff thought that as someone who could heal, Trent should have a perfectly unmarked body, and wondered just what could cause such a scar, and why it might persist when nothing else had. There were no markings left even from the autopsy from a few days ago. He hadn't seen Trent's chest back then, he had got the surgical gown on before he got a look. Plus when he saw Trent was naked he avoided looking at him as much as he could. Geoff was of course cheering for Trent and tapped the guy next to him on the shoulder. “You see that man there? He's going to win all of this.” he said. The man, another muscle-freak like the one guarding the door, turned to Geoff and laughed. “You wanna bet kid? I'll give you triple your money if that scrawny little guy wins. I don't see him lasting the first fight. Poor sap must have bad luck when it comes to the draw.” Geoff considered the offer for a few seconds before checking how much he had in his wallet. “Okay”, Geoff replied. “I'll bet you five hundred credits that my friend there wins all his fights.” Geoff offered his hand out for the man to shake. After another chuckle the guy shook Geoff's hand. “You got a deal kid. When he loses, the drinks are on you.” Geoff turned back to the fight, wondering if he'd just made a huge mistake. Trent had told him to just watch the fights. He thought to himself that a little extra money might not be bad though, and he wanted the guy to stop badmouthing Trent. Trent made his way into the cage and walked past the referee in the middle and leaned against the back wall of the cage, waiting for his opponent to walk down. After a short wait the announcer walked down the aisle with with one of the men from the preparation room behind him. It was one of the less tough looking guys. He didn't look much buffer than Trent and had short black hair. He was wearing red shorts that dropped to just above his knees, and in contrast to Trent's unmarked body he had some small cuts all over his body and his hands were wrapped up. He walked into the ring and the announcer closed the cage behind him before stepping into the middle.
“Ladies and gentleman,” he shouted, making sure everyone could hear him, “Welcome to The 9th Circle, where we live by the sword, and hope to die by it too!”. There was an outburst of cheers for a few seconds before he called for quiet and started speaking again.
“Now, you probably know how this works. For the benefit of those who don't though I will now explain. There are eight fights today, and a total of nine fighters. The way it works is that you stay in the cage until you lose. If you win, then you fight the next fighter to come out. The more wins you get the more money you earn. When all the fights are over then the last man standing earns all of his winnings. This is a game of luck, as well as skill. Come in too late, and you might not win much, however if you come in too early then you might end up losing to exhaustion. Though of course if you're skilled enough, you'll have no problems. You win by knocking your opponent out or making them give up. Please refrain from killing blows. Now it's time to introduce our first fighters. To my left is a newcomer-”he motioned with his left arm to Trent, who received a mixed reaction, “a man we know nothing about but his name. Trent!” Trent waved at a few people in the audience, mostly the ones cheering him, and flashed a smile at Geoff (who was clapping as well as cheering) before turning to face his opponent. “And to my right-” the announcer continued, motioning to the right this time, “is a veteran of the Circle. Here on his 15th visit to the Circle, Max!” Max received a mostly positive reaction. There were a few boos, some from Geoff. Geoff made sure that other people were booing as well before he joined in though.
“Now who will win in this bout to knock the other guy out?” The announcer shouted, to a few laughs. “Let's find out, right now!”
Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger like that. As you can see it was pretty long already though. Plus there was a slight problem. I did in fact add rewrites to this chapter, which meant that I had to rewrite the others. However I had a rather busy day yesterday (though it was pretty cool) and so I was lucky to get one rewrite in. For the next few chapters though it's mostly action, action action! With glorious gory fight scenes galore. Oh and another brief apology. I'm sorry if I'm actually retconning here by having it so that Geoff never saw Trent's scar when they first met. I tried explaining how it happened but it still feels like a retcon. For people who don't know what a retcon is, I'm too tired and lazy to change it. It's basically when you change something that already happened, or already was, to suit a new situation. Or at least I think so. 

Friday, 18 May 2012

Interview With A Rambler

This isn't the post I originally planned to make for I but the one I did plan isn't going to become irrelevant so it means that I do indeed have at least one more post to go through after doing this whole A-Z thing. It's at long last the much teased and (possibly) anticipated interview I had with Kbbuddingwriter. Though actually it's more him talking. You see this was recorded before I knew how to record Skype calls (yeah it's that bloody old) and so what happened is that I recorded myself asking the questions, and he recorded himself answering them. Now, I'm lazy as well, me, and so I didn't have the energy or motivation to put in the time to edit together properly so it was my question followed by his answer. Next time I do an interview, or get interviewed, it should hopefully go much easier. Much better. For now though you can just sit back, and have Kb tell you a little about himself.

Kbbuddingwriter can be found at his blog at If you would like to be interviewed yourself, then please, keep it to yourself. This was Hell. Well, it wasn't that bad, but everything kept getting put off, and I had trouble coming up with questions. *sigh*

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Chatting Away

I was going to upload the interview I had with Kb at last (I've been teasing that for probably months now) but to be honest I had a very busy day yesterday. In fact I didn't get to bed until about 2AM and it was about 1AM when I thought to myself "Awww nertz I don't have anything uploaded yet" so I had to fall back on the last podcast I did with Bersercules. As per usual I've totally forgotten just what we talked about, but considered how this is something we recorded the same time we recorded the last one, we were low on ideas, and I think it got quite random. Anyway, enjoy!
Kb I'm sorry that once again I haven't uploaded your interview, but I do have plans. Many plans. Well, okay, one plan. If you're wondering why I didn't just listen to it back and find out what we talked about, well I'm not too good with the sound of my own voice still. One of the reasons I never edit them is because I don't really want to listen to them. I've only ever done it once, when I talked about my ex. 

PS Bersercules if you read this we totally need to get more of these recorded. 

Wednesday, 16 May 2012


A bit ago my very good friend and all round awesome person who is totally not lazy at all Leah made this post. She decided to join me on my journey into doing A-Z, but she's working on it at a much better pace than me. For the letter C she chose the word "challenge" and did a blogging challenge where you say 20 things to people that you wish you could actually say to them. The point is that you don't say who it's to. I thought that I would give it a shot for the letter h, as I'm about to be honest both to myself, and to others. Though of course they won't know it. I may also talk about honesty itself at a later date. So here are 20 things I wish I could say.

1. I miss you. I really do. (okay I could say that to a lot of people)

2. I'm sorry if I hurt you.

3. If I hugged you I don't think I would let you go.

4. You make me jealous very easily, often without even trying.

5. If you came back into my life, I wouldn't push you away. Even if I should.

6. I'm not sure I hate you anymore. It's been so long, and I've grown weary.

7. I have a lot more problems than you think.

8. You have a lot more problems than you think.

9. Why are you doing this? He's not right for you and you know it. So why?

10. Sometimes I want you to use me.

11. Open up to me. Please. I can help.

12. You've hurt me. A lot. So much I'm not sure I can allow myself to forgive you.

13. Please, don't try to be nice to me. I hate that.

14. You're so awesome it hurts.

15. Can I have this dance?

16. Why did you go?

17. I'm not entirely sure I was kidding. Then again I never am.

18. I looked you up not long back. I wish I didn't.

19. I would have given you anything I could.

20. I will give you anything I can.

So, there you have it. Even though I got out of Leah which ones were about me, I don't think I plan on telling anyone who this stuff is about. It's about several people. Though of course I'm a nice person and all so I'd probably cave quickly.Plus actually between when I initially wrote this and now, I've forgotten some of them.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012


To be honest I had no real idea what to write for G, there were a few things I just thought "I can't make that work" and I actually gave up and just ran through a bunch of g-words until I found one I thought I could possibly do justice to. In the end I chose the word "giving".

I give a lot. Mostly of myself. I don't exactly have disposable income so I can't really give gifts much. Well, not material goods I have to buy. But I can, and do, give a lot of my time and attention away. If someone wants to talk to me, then I'll do it. If someone needs advice, or just someone to listen to them, then I'll offer myself to that job. I do mean it. If you ever want someone to talk to, just load up that "Contact Me" page and then spam me. You wouldn't be the first.

There are some people who think that I probably give too much of myself as well. This is probably true really. I used to wake up really early so I could wish a friend a good morning, and talk to them before they went out. Or I would stay up too late to talk to other people from around the world. Sometimes people from home as well actually. I've stayed up all night with people before because they didn't want to be alone. If you even hint that there's something I can do for you, chances are that I'll do it. If I can anyway.

The reason that this can be very bad is because if I can't do something I will feel pretty bad. Even if there's nothing I can do, then I'll feel bad about it. This isn't very healthy either. It's good to help people, sure, but I can't do everything for everyone. There are going to be some things I can't do. Some people I can't help. I don't like accepting this at all. I also never write someone off as a lost cause.

To be honest there are people who have hurt me a lot, but I would help them if they needed it. I'm just that selfless. I'm told a lot to be more selfish really. It's just not in me really.

Monday, 14 May 2012

It Can Be Hard To Think Of Titles

It really can be hard to think up titles for round ups. I've mentioned that before though. Numerous times in fact. I'm not fond of reusing stuff, so part of me really hates to just say "Weekly Round Up XX/XX." Oh well. I think I need to change the schedule up a bit really. So far on my current schedule I do three A-Z posts a week, and that means it's going to take me maybe a month and a half. While it's nice not to have to worry about content too much for that long, it still seems like too long. Still, Mondays are round up days, Thursdays are podcasts, and Saturday is story day. I was thinking of making Sunday an A-Z post, but barely anyone will read it. This place is pretty dead on weekends. If anything I should probably change the day I post Immortal Space. Anyway, I also wanted to make podcasts around them too, talk about the topic instead of write about it, but I have a few podcasts I have to publish, some that have been waiting too long. So, yeah. This is going to take longer than originally planned. Oh well. On to the actual round up for this week, long after anyone has stopped reading.

I'm including last Monday because I talked about a fair few things other than the round up post. I mentioned I had lost my iPod, and I was worried about where it might be, and that it could be lost forever. It turns out that instead of calling the waaaaaambulance I should have checked my coat pockets more thoroughly. EMPTY pockets people, don't just check them. I also talked about The Hunger Games (which means I can't really do it for the A-Z thing) and I have now read all three of them actually. Sometimes it didn't go how I thought it would, but this is a good thing really. Overall they were great books, and I would definitely recommend them. Plus nearly all of my preconceptions that it was just Battle Royale have been done away with. Some of the concept is, that can't be denied, but it continues on long after the arena, and there's a lot more that happens in Hunger Games, that doesn't happen in Battle Royale, though I don't want to spoil either thing. Jeez that was a lot.

Tuesday I addressed the letter C, for "celebrations". I had a total retard moment and posted D before C. My fault entirely. The party I talked about (my sisters 16th) wasn't actually that bad. The worst thing was the price of beer. Feckin hell. No wonder no one goes to pubs and we all just drink alone at home. Well, that and the smoking ban. Though I don't smoke.

Wednesday I wrote something I haven't written in quite a while. A poignant and deep post about the concept of endings. Which wasn't me declaring the end of this blog. Everything ends, and one day even existence will end. Endings aren't always the end though, and are often new beginnings. The death of one can equal the life of others (which is something I didn't totally go into outside of the circle of life. Oh well. There's about two or three paragraphs in there).

Thursday was another podcast between me and Bersercules. I have at least one more of these, and we hope to record more. If anything it would be great if this was how every podcast worked. I've heard nothing but positive feedback really, and me and him seem to bounce off eachother well. Now if we could go five minutes without innuendo and outright NSFW material it would be great. Though I don't want to suppress his art. Plus it's way too much fun. I still hope to record something with Nellievaughn and her friend Madeline, and with Shockgrubz. Really I'm open to having anyone on, and I'm pretty sure Bersercules is if you want to be double teamed. See I make dirty jokes even without him.

Friday I handled F. In this case, it was F for "fighting". A lot of you really were surprised that I had that kind of side to me, but I really do. I make myself sound a lot more torn than I actually I am I think though. Basically I told about how I used to have a history of anger and aggression, and I still have a lot of it, I just contain it better. It's the main reason I'm either nice or impassive. I really don't lie when I say that video games stopped me from killing people. I was able to work out my aggression through them, instead of through real people. The main point though was me recounting the time I got my ass handed to me in one punch to the face I deliberately took like a god damn fucking moron. Which I really was at the time. I've never really seen such a dumb smart person.

Saturday as you probably expected was another installment in Immortal Space. I'm considering rewriting all the new stuff I've written for it already, and probably will do. It's going to be fight scenes for a few weeks, and I don't know if I'm all that happy with how some of them worked out. This week though we had the totally manly reunion of Trent and Geoff in the fight club known as The 9th Circle. I also teased some things I didn't really deliver on, and now I want to deliver on them. What's the point in teasing what isn't going to happen?

Sunday I continued my apparent trend of Irish comedians. I think I'm out now though, with Dara O'Briain, the host of Mock The Week, who's pretty handy with the stand up himself. It was his routine on the "mixed marriage" of a Catholic and a Protestant. One of his most well know, and controversial routines. I think he did actually get in a bit of trouble over it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've written too much , and my fingers hurt. It's quite apparent that I've been reading a lot lately, and not really writing. I hate that I seem to have to choose one or the other. In reading news though I read every Hunger Games book in seven hours. Ish. That is each book took seven hours to read. I didn't read three books in seven hours. That'd be awesome. I haven't read like that in so long I wasn't aware I could still do it.

Okay I really need to stop writing.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Continuing The Trend

Continuing the apparent trend of Irish comedians, and my tiredness, I have decided to post one more Irish funnyman for you. Dara O'Briain. Although his biggest claim to fame is possibly hosting the popular satire/panel show Mock The Week, he is still quite a good comedian in his own right. He's funny as feck at least. Though he mostly deals with audience interaction these days. Though I guess that is also a dying art sometimes. Anyway, this is one of his more popular, and also controversial, routines. It's about the mixed marriage that is when a Protestant marries a Catholic. I suppose it is also rather appropriate given all the same sex marriage stuff in the news lately. It raises a much more important question than "should people be allowed to marry within their gender?" and that question is "should people be allowed to marry outside their religion?"

In case you're wondering, the answer is of course yes to both questions.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

The First Rule Of The 9th Circle Is...

Chapter one:
Chapter two:
Chapter three:
Chapter four:
Chapter Five:
Chapter Six:
Chapter Seven:
Chapter Nine:
Chapter Ten;

Well last week I said I needed to write more and I did just that. On that day actually I wrote about four or five new chapters that if I'm feeling generous (and I write even more) can actually be turned into two or three. Just to be nice. Anyway, as per the suggestion of I think it was Jimmy Fungus, a quick recap of what happened in our last exciting installment. Trent woke up in his giant underground vault and went back to the hospital to pick up Geoff. He overslept though and Geoff had already left the hospital, so he asked Dr. Osbourne to call Geoff and tell him to meet him at some strange (and obviously dangerous) place called The 9th Circle. Now Trent is off on his way there, and that's where we come in. To spy in him like the weird voyeurs we are.

After Trent left the hospital he turned left and headed down the street. He turned a few more times, walking with a purpose and trying to avoid looking at anyone. He was trying to avoid being noticed. He came to an alleyway about ten minutes later and, after making sure no one was around, he walked down it until he came to a door. He knocked on it three times and a slot in the window opened. He could see a pair of eyes looking at him.
“What do you want?”, he heard a gruff voice ask.
“I want to enter The 9th Circle.” he replied. The eyes looked him up and down.
“What are you going to do?”, the voice asked.
“I'm going to fight my way through Hell and come out alive, unbeaten.” was Trent's response. At this he heard a laugh and the slot closed. A few seconds later he heard a click and the door was open. A tall, burly man was stood there, still laughing. He had a bald head and was covered in tattoos. The main one was a long dragon one that seemed to cover most of his entire body. It looked like it was wrapping itself around him. After he stopped laughing he motioned Trent inside and shut the door behind him. Trent looked around and saw he was in a small room with a door on the other side, behind the tall guy.
“There is only ever been one man who survived the entire 9th Circle of Hell unbeaten. That was some time ago too. You really think you can do it?” he asked Trent. Trent laughed back and stuck his hands behind his head.
“I reckon I can.” he said. “The last guy who did it is a close personal friend and he taught me everything he knows. When do we get started anyway?” he asked the man, who was now slightly stunned at Trent's response. He had only heard a little about the man who was strong enough to beat everybody who he fought.
“We start in ten minutes” he said, after composing himself. “If you need to get ready then you should do it now. Might I suggest praying to your Gods?” he remarked sarcastically.
“You mean I should pray to myself? I'm not sure how well that would work.” Trent said, moving past the man and going to open the other door. He was just about to open it when he heard another knock on the door behind him. He heard the tall guy ask what the visitor wanted and listened to the reply.
“I'm umm, I'm looking for Trent. I was told he'd be here.” he heard Geoff say.
“There is no Trent here, go away” the man replied. Trent walked back to the back door and tapped the big guy on the back.
“What do you want this time, little man?” he asked Trent.
“He's looking for me. Let him in.” The big guy shook his head.
“I can't let a kid like that in.”
“Hey I'm not a kid!” Geoff shouted from outside. “Trent, can you get me in?”
“Let him in. He won't be no trouble. I'll keep an eye on him and if he does something, I'll take responsibility. He won't get in the way, he just came to watch.” Trent said to the big man. The guy sighed before unlocking the door and letting Geoff in. Geoff came in wearing Trent's hat and went to hug Trent but stopped himself before he did and held out his hand for a shake instead. Trent shook his hand but then pulled him in for a hug and wrapped his arms around him. Trent walked him to the door at the back of the room and opened it. The inside was fairly large. There was a bar in one corner and a big cage in the middle. Surrounding the cage was a few rows of benches for spectators. Most of the stands were full already as the event was about to start.
“Welcome Geoff,” Trent started, motioning to the room, “to The 9th Circle. The roughest, toughest, meanest, fighting club on at the very least this street.” Trent turned to look at Geoff who was looking around the room taking it all in. He let Geoff do that for a few seconds before turning him around to face him.
“Now, I promised Danny that I'd keep you safe. So I want you to just sit in the stands and watch while I do my thing. Try to avoid talking people. The fights aren't limited to just the cage, and I don't want you getting' hurt on my watch. 'Specially not after I promised to keep you safe. You can keep a hold of my hat and here,” he said, shrugging off his coat and putting it around Geoff, “I want you to keep an eye on this too. We shouldn't be here too long. Maybe an hour at most. You got all that?” he asked. Geoff nodded and looked for a place to sit. He started to walk off before turning around and looking at Trent.
“It's nice to see you again Trent.” he said. Trent smiled at him and started walking towards another door near the entrance to the cage.
“It's nice to see you too Geoff. Thanks for keeping my hat safe.” he replied before disappearing into the other room where the competitors were getting ready.

By the way there are no real rules, I just wanted to make a Fight Club reference. 

Friday, 11 May 2012


Some of you may be surprised to learn that I have in fact been involved in a fight before. It was back when I was in secondary school, I figure I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. I remember Jessie was there at least. When I was younger I was actually quite violent. I still have that temper to this day but I restrain it a lot better. I can't count the number of people I've held up by the throat. I also once chased a guy across a park in an attempt to catch him and beat the crap out of him. In the end I got the day off school and the police were involved. Because I never actually managed to attack the guy, and he started it by provoking me, I got off without even a warning. Whee. I also mentioned before that I once tried to break a guys arm just to see if I could. He pissed me off and I knelt on his back and pulled his arm behind him. I guess I was really trying to pull out of the socket rather than break it.

But back to the closest thing to a legitimate fight I've actually been in. There was this kid who was about my size (by which I mean outwards. I was big as a kid, and still am) and he tried to pick a fight with me. I could tell he had been bulled himself, and if anything it was like looking at who I could have, and may have, become. He was more popular though because he was a full on bully himself. He picked on those weaker than him to make himself look stronger. He even had a small fan base behind him. All I had was Jessie but really that's all I needed. I'm fairly sure she was there anyway.

So, I don't rise to his provocations, so he decides to just throw a punch. Despite my size, I'm decently agile, plus he was slow as fuck anyway. So it wasn't hard to dodge. I dodged a few punches and he just got madder and madder while the sarcastic smirk I wore got bigger and bigger. I was refusing to fight. I didn't see the point in it and I didn't really have anything to prove. I mentioned his fanbase earlier right? Yes I did. Anyway, he goes back to one of them, and I see her point to her lip. She's telling him to hit me on the lip.

Now, I'm an arrogant ass. I want to just say that. Well, I can be. At the time I was. I had seen a lot of martial arts movies and I got the stupid idea to let him hit me. Just to show off a bit. To say to him "Hey, even if you hit me, you can't actually hurt me." There's one small problem though. Can you guess what it was? Yeah, it bloody hurt. He actually busted my lip too. In the end I actually ran off crying. I'm not sure if it actually hurt all that much, or if it was just the shock. It looks so much easier in the movies.

I would still love to learn how to fight, and will probably take up Tae-Kwon-Do again eventually, or maybe kickboxing. Rather than have the power to hurt, I want more to have the power to protect.

So there you have it, another embarrassing story from my childhood, and probably the only time I was involved in something actually close to a real fight. Outside of sparring in Tae-Kwon-Do class. Which I sucked at. Because I was so used to dodging, and I hated getting hit, I would never block, just dodge. My teacher did not like that all. But he still saw fit to give me a yellow belt. Oh well.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Another Bersercin' Podcast

I have for you the second offering of me and Bersercules chatting away. Don't worry folks this one is only about 14 minutes long, not 2 hours. This is why it only took me five minutes to edit. Yay me. Though there wasn't much to edit. All I had to do was cut out the start where we talked before the actual introduction, and I also accidentally hung up on him. So I had to combine the two sound files in to one. I've heard people talk about how much time it takes them to edit things, so to those people I almost feel like I should apologise for this only taking a few minutes to do.

Anyway, I'm not totally sure what we talked about, and as you could guess from the last time, I couldn't do it justice anyway. Enjoy folks!



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As per usual you can find it here;

Wednesday, 9 May 2012


Much like everything has a beginning, everything has an end. Even death and existence will cease to exist eventually. As our great prophet H.P. Lovecraft said; "That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die." However death is not necessarily the end. I'm not going to talk about the afterlife, but death really is not the end. It might be the end of your life on Earth, but your body is still there. Eventually it will decay, and probably become worm food. Those worms will then become food, and so will what eats the worms. Eventually we will eat whatever it was. So try not to consider that really. That when you eat something, you could be eating the nutrients of your ancestors. Don't let that scare you into veganism. As The Lion King taught us when the plant eaters die (I'm not sure which ones in particular it was, it's been years since I saw that movie) they become food for the grass that grows to feed them, as well as food for the lions. Or it was that when the lions die they become food for the plants, which becomes food for the plant eaters, which becomes food for the lions. That's a more complete circle so I'm going to go with that.

Plenty of other things end though, as well as life. TV shows, video games, movies, everything has an end. There are some things I don't want to see the end of. Such as Frasier. I will however see the end of it eventually. When I watched Home Improvement I never actually watched the final episode. There are plenty of games I haven't finished as well but that's due more to my short attention span.

Everything has an end, no matter what it is. But the end isn't always the end. The end usually is the start of a new beginning. Typically the beginning of your life without what just ended. But sometimes the end causes new things to arrive. If a relationship ends, it allows a new, and possibly better one, to start.

Sometimes, things don't end how we want them to, how we think they should. But, always, they end how they need too. If you go on for long enough, then you'll come to realize this in time. I was a mess when my ex left me, and for the longest time I didn't think that was how it should have ended at all, but over time I have come to think it was the best. Everything ends in the best way it can, either for you, or for other people involved. Except life I guess. Sometimes death is a horrible and painful thing, and it should never be. Life can be like that too sometimes though.

Okay I seriously need to stop writing.  It seems even this post had to end eventually.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012


A quick update on yesterday's post. I found my iPod. It was in my coat pocket. The very same coat pocket I checked numerous times. Always empty your pockets folks. Don't just check them. I wonder how many people are going to stop reading here and simply comment to congratulate me on finding my iPod. Probably a lot more than would have before now I've given them the idea.

Due to a scheduling error both C+D were posted on the same day. Seeing as D (Dancing) had received comments and this hadn't, I decided that this would be the one to be pulled down and reposted. I do know my alphabet, I just lost the ability to schedule posts properly. 

As I mentioned a bit ago it was my sister's surprise birthday party recently. She turned 16 and had a small tea party on the day. She had no idea at all that she had another party coming on the Saturday after. That's right folks, people really DO throw surprise parties, and sometimes they can even work and be a surprise.

However I was very out of place there. I didn't really know anyone. It was the first time I had seen my stepsister and her 9 kids in a few years. One of them also has seriously stunted growth and is 18 but about the same size as my second eldest niece, who is 11.

I did have Jessie with me though. So if anything she was more out of place than me. The only people she really knew there was me and my sister, who she goes to college with. Having eachother meant that while we were bored for most of it, we still had something to do. I'm not complaining, it's just that I didn't really know anyone, and I didn't really like the music. I talked to the DJ and he agreed that the music was bad, but he was called on short notice and so couldn't get anything good. Shame.

The person I felt the most sorry for though was my dad. At times like this, I spend time with him. However because I had Jessie this time, he got left on his own quite a lot. He survived, somehow, but I don't know. It would have been nice if he at least had someone to talk to. He's fine with his own company though.

My sister didn't seem to be really enjoying herself either for most of it. I should probably have talked to her. The party wasn't that bad, but it was geared towards people who weren't my age, and I barely knew anyone. Plus I never really was the partying type. I can't remember the last time I had anything close to a birthday party.

Monday, 7 May 2012

Well, This Sucks

The main reason that this does indeed suck is that I feel like crap. I lost my iPod. It was a small 1gb shuffle, but I've had it for over 6 years. It was a Christmas present from my mum. I was seriously attached to that thing. It got me through a lot, and even though I'm going to probably be getting a new iPod in a few weeks, it won't really be the same. I hold presents in very high regard, and do my best to keep and preserve them. It was attached to my coat, and I was so tired and not thinking straight that I didn't really think to remember it doesn't stay attached to my coat very well. I should have put it on my shirt, or put it in my pocket.

If you're truly gone iPod, then farewell, you will be sorely missed.

I don't even want to imagine how I sound right now. It doesn't help I am close to tears while writing.

In slightly more upbeat news, I finally read the first book in The Hunger Games. I read it all in one day, in about 7 hours. I was in a car a lot so I had plenty of time. I haven't read a book that fast in quite some time. I guess it also helps that it was a real book, so it strained my eyes less than an ebook on my computer would. Plus it shows how good the book was. Because it was. At first I wasn't sure how I would treat it, because it seemed like the premise and plot really was ripped straight from Battle Royale. While I still think this, I can agree that the way it was handled was different. In Battle Royale the teenagers are pitted against eachother as a way to punish them because juvenile crime became so high. Plus instead of picking one boy and one girl from each area, it was a class in a school that was chosen at random, and everyone in that class had to do it. Still, if you enjoyed The Hunger Games, I thoroughly recommend Battle Royale. I will say though that as something from Japan you can expect it to be a lot more graphic, because it is. If I had to say there was a problem with Hunger Games it would be that it seemed to take too long to get to the games themselves, and Katniss seemed too emotionally detached. It was explained and handled well though. Plus as the story progressed her walls started to come down, even if she didn't really want them to.

I can't read the second book yet. Being a cheap bastard I bought it off of Amazon, and selected free delivery. Given how today is a bank holiday, which means no mail, there's no telling really when it will arrive. If it takes too long I can consider just going to the library and adding my own copy to my bookshelf when it arrives.

Because this post has already lasted so long, and I really hate talking about more than one subject, I'm just going to give the briefest of brief rundowns of last week. I didn't really mean to talk this much but I couldn't find a time to stick Hunger Games in and keep it relevant.

Tuesday; Activism, and how far it's come these days. Activism seems to be a much bigger thing these days, and it is a lot easier to get involved, even without joining the front lines. You'd be amazed at what you can do with a computer, or just a telephone. All of it legal too. Don't let those wankers censor the internet.

Wednesday; Bullying, and how it can actually have an overall positive effect. Bullying will either make or break you, but you can really be made by it. Use adversity as fuel, and amaze everyone who thought you would never amount to anything by becoming more than they could ever dream to be.

Thursday; Another podcast. This was my second secretproject. It was a two hour conversation I had with Bersercules, and I think only one person listened to it all the way through. Rest assured that, while I do have a few other podcasts with him to publish, none of them are that long, and are about the usual length you've come to expect of me.

Friday I went full retard and made a post about dancing, completely skipping out the letter c. I didn't forget my alphabet, I just messed up my scheduling. By the time I had realized my error the D post had gotten two comments, so I left it up, and pulled C down. Expect C tomorrow. Though dancing was still cool.

Saturday; Another chapter in Immortal Space. At the time it was the last written chapter, but I wrote a fair bit more on Saturday, and now have enough to see me through for a few weeks.

Sunday; More comedy. This time from another Irish funnyman called Ed Byrne  (pronounced burn). It was two of his routines, one on emos and goths, and one on the flaws involved with Back To The Future. We all know some, but he picks up on a few you might not. Seeing as the emos and goths one either didn't embed, or disappeared, I have decided to embed it again here for your pleasure. Oh I have also realized that I could have made C "Comedy" but it's too late for that now.

Have a good week guys.

Sunday, 6 May 2012

LOL Byrne

We've had Dylan Moran, and now we're getting Ed Byrne. Another horribly attractive Irish comedian. Because his routines are fairly short I decided to pick two out for you. The first is on goths and emos. I absolutely love this bit, as a former goth myself. Though like him I was too much of a Prince fan to truly commit. Though for me it wasn't Prince it was Savage Garden.

The next one is a really short bit on the flaws and problems and evil that is the movie Back To The Future. It's stuff we all knew was wrong with it, but it's still hilarious.

I really wouldn't want to watch that movie with my ma.

Have fun guys and I hope you get a good laugh.

EDIT: I've now fixed and re-added the first video. Hopefully it will stay this time.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

I Need To Write More

Chapter one:
Chapter two:
Chapter three:
Chapter four:
Chapter Five:
Chapter Six:
Chapter Seven:
Chapter Nine:

The title of this post is very accurate indeed. You see, this is the last chapter I have written. I intend of course to write some more, at least another chapter, by the time next Saturday rolls around. This is also another short chapter, so some small apologies there. I also have to say a thank you to Jessie for supplying me with the name The 9th Circle. I asked her for ideas and that was one I liked, and she told me to give her credit.

Enjoy folks! I really should have more for you next week.

When Trent woke up he wondered what he was doing in his vault with everything he would need for another journey packed up in front of him. Then he remembered, checked the time, and grabbed everything and made a dash for the door. He opened up the ship and put everything inside the cargo hold before heading back out to close the vault. It had two closing settings. If he closed it from a room inside the vault it would close quite quickly to prevent people breaking in, and if he were to close it from the entrance it would give him half a minute to get out before closing. He entered the code to close the door, dashed up the steps and hopped into his ship. He got it up in the air, punched in the coordinates for the hospital and this time decided to let it fly itself. He needed to get a shower and sort himself out before he got there.

A few hours later he arrived at the shipyard again and set himself down before making the short journey to the hospital. He asked the receptionist if Daniel was in his office and after finding out that he was, set off for there. He figured if anyone knew where Geoff was it would be the good doctor. He knocked on the door and Osbourne called for him to enter. When Daniel saw who it was he stood up and shook Trent's hand.
“Here to pick up Geoff?” he asked. “He's been going kind of crazy thinking you weren't going to turn up, you left it a little later than he would have liked.”
“Sorry 'bout that” Trent said, “I overslept a little and rushed over here. You got any idea where he is?”
“He's at home by now, but I can contact him. Want me to get him to come here?”. Trent thought about it. There was one last item of business before they took off.
“Actually before that I was wondering if you knew if The 9th Circle was still open?", he asked. Daniel looked horrified at just the mention of the name. “The 9th Circle? Why would you want to go there?”. Trent just shrugged.
“I got business there. You think you can tell Geoff to meet me there?”
“Only if you promise to keep him safe. I mean it, if he gets hurt, I will have your head.”. Trent held up his hand and flashed a smile.
“Hey if a finger grew back I wonder if my head will.”. He took on a more serious look before continuing. “But I promise I'll bring the kid back safe and sound to say goodbye before we go, I won't let anyone hurt him. You have my word, and don't question the word of a southern gentleman like myself.”. Daniel wasn't sure just what the word of a southern gentleman was worth, but decided to believe him. After taking in that a man's finger had indeed grown back, he sat back down at his desk.
“I'll tell him to meet you there.” he said to Trent. Just remember our promise. I'll be here for another three hours, I want him back here by then.”
“Three hours huh? I can have him back by then, or at the least get him to give you a call. I'll see you later then Doc. Thanks.” Trent said before leaving the office.
Daniel got up and walked to the door to shout after him “For the last time, it's Daniel, or Doctor Osbourne, NOT DOC!”. Trent raised his hand again but Daniel thought he could hear him laughing.


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