Saturday, 7 April 2012

It's Been Too Long

Hey guys it's been quite a while since I did this, but I did have my reasons. Thanks for being so patient and understanding. In case you have no idea what I'm doing, I'm going to post the next part of Immortal Space. Sadly I haven't written anything more on it, yet, because of the whole confidence thing I guess. Plus lately I haven't felt like doing anything, but I still have a few chapters to fall back on. In case you can't remember, we left the story with Trent and Geoff going out into Chicago to find a new space ship for Trent. A chapter list for you;
Chapter one:
Chapter two:
Chapter three:
Chapter four:
Chapter Five:

To make it up to you for taking so long (well actually I did write it this long) you have a super long installment of the story. I'm not totally happy with this, I thought it could have done with more descriptions, but I know that is a big problem I have. I'm never sure how much detail to go into. I can see it all in my head, but I don't quite know how to write it down. Anyway, enough dawdling, it's story time.

Trent and Geoff were walking down the street. Trent was taking in all the sights, the skyscrapers that were mostly very thick glass, the smaller shops with signs in the window proclaiming the various items they had for sale. The way the sun reflected off of the buildings made for quite a sight. He could see people going about their business and he could see the occasional slacker here and there too. He was also thankful to see a few spots of nature like a few trees dotted around the place. He knew they were planted by man but he was still always glad to see them. He pulled a leaf from one and stuck it in his pocket before turning to Geoff. 
“Okay so first things first, I need some grub. You know anywhere nice then?” He asked him.
“Sure do” Geoff replied, pointing to a shop in the distance. Trent could make out some tables outside, which identified it as a cafĂ©. He sped up a bit, causing Geoff to run to keep up with him. Opening the door his nose was hit by the smell of well cooked food. Looking around he spotted some free tables and went up to the counter to order his food. 
“What can I get you sir?” Said the guy behind the counter. Typical grease covered teenager you expect to find working at a fast food place. Some things never change, Trent thought to himself. Smiling at his thoughts he looked up at the menu and checked how much change he had. 
“Just two burgers and some soda please” He said, turning round to Geoff asking him if he wanted anything.
“I'll take the same” Geoff said, after checking his own money. 
With their food in hand they sat down and started eating. Trent ate his first burger in a few bites, he didn't realise just how hungry he was. After taking some of his soda, he decided to take the second burger a bit slower. He decided to ask Geoff a question instead of digging straight in.
“Say, where is the shipyard around here anyway?”
Geoff swallowed the burger he had in his mouth before replying. “There's one a few blocks away. This is the closest food joint to there which is why I brought us here”.
Trent chuckled and took a bite out of his second burger. “Well I figured it wasn't the food. Still, when you've not eaten in a few days anything will do.”
“When was the last time you ate?” Geoff asked him.
“I think it was a day or two before I crashed. I was on my way back to Earth to resupply actually.”
“Oh”, Geoff replied, eating his burger again. Then a thought struck him.
“Wait you can't die, do you really need to eat?”
“Well yeah”, was Trent's sarcastic reply, “My body still needs proteins and energy, and I get hunger pains just like everyone else. Let me tell you after going longer than most people can without food, you really start to hurt, and you get pretty weak too.”
Geoff hadn't actually thought of that. The rest of the meal passed mostly in silence. When they were done they threw away their rubbish and headed out the door.
“Alright, which way now?” Trent asked Geoff.
Geoff looked around and pointed to a skyscraper. “It's just past that place over there”, he said. “Homeworld Shipyard”.
The two of them headed off together down the street. Trent was taking in the sights again. He really had been away for too long. Though he was a big fan of natural beauty, which he supposed explained why he enjoyed being in space so much. He had some favourite spots on Earth but he was always being distracted in space. If he had stopped staring at the sun and turned round just a few minutes earlier, he might not have been shot down actually. Though he considered the trouble worth it for that sight.
They reached the shipyard and Trent let out a whistle as he looked around. There were ships of all sorts here. Some destroyers that were mostly military class but civilians were able to get some of them, mostly for protection. A few merchant ships that focused on hull space and shielding, with some weaponry. Most merchants typically took an escort though if they expected any real danger. He found a desk in the middle and walked up to the it, this one operated by a tall woman with long blue hair.
“See anything you like sir?” She asked Trent with a playful smile.
Trent looked behind her and pointed to a ship that was a good size for him. It was small but liveable, just what he was after. Something he could live in, but not so big that he'd get too lonely and be tempted to take too many people with him. From the information on the board above it, this ship held 4 or 5 people comfortably. It was also known as “The Piranha”. The weird names people think for their ships thought Trent. Still he wasn't much use at naming things himself sometimes.
“How much for The Piranha back there ma'am?” He asked her.
She looked slightly disappointed at this reply before regaining her demeanour and checking the records. “Let's see here...” she said, thumbing through the pages “Ahhh here it is. The Piranha, 4 person ship but can handle five, 2 manned gun turrets and 3 automatic ones, missiles can be mounted but you need a license for those”. At this Trent pulled out his license. The lady gave it a once over and handed it back, “okay so you can have missiles attached. It also comes with a heavy duty shield and an engine that while not that powerful, can be upgraded. Though it's light speed engine is out, and you will have to buy a new one. Because of the engine it is on offer and will currently cost you 30,000 credits.”
Trent checked the money in his pockets. He was just shy, having only 28,000. It had been a while since he had needed a new ship. He turned to Geoff.
“Hey Geoff could you lend me two grand? I'll pay you back pretty quick.” He asked.
Geoff was taken a bit off guard, but he had grown to like Trent, and thought having a reason to keep him around, like him owing money, might not be too bad. He thought he might have made the decision a bit fast, but once he had made it, he knew he wouldn't be able to convince himself not to. “Um, okay, but let me just go get it.”
“There's a cash machine over there sir” The lady said, pointing to an ATM that was outside a bank across the road.
Geoff thanked her and went to the machine. He came back a few minutes later, two thousand in hand. He handed it over to Trent who handed it over to the lady along with his own 28,000 and asked her for The Piranha. She took his money, put it away, and gave him the keys. Trent and Geoff went to the ship, opened it up and had a look inside. It was roomier than Trent thought. He found the cockpit, which had two main chairs at the front and then three smaller ones behind those. He found a kitchen, complete with a fully stocked fridge. Though he wondered about the quality of the food, and decided he should check it out later. He found a main sitting area in the middle with a large table, and what looked like a projector in the middle of it. He found that the ship had 4 bedrooms. Each one had it's own bed, causing Trent to believe something on some other part of the ship became a bed. He found a medical bay, and a fairly large hold too. All in all he had found a great ship. Or so he thought. It was then he found the engine room. The lady wasn't kidding about the engine. He figured he was going to need a new one. He already owed Geoff money too. After finding everything he went back to one of the bedrooms and laid on the bed there.
“Now what?” Geoff asked him as he walked into the room.
“Now,” Trent replied, shutting his eyes and sticking his hands behind his head, “I try to get some sleep. Neither of us slept last night, you must be tired to.”
“A bit”, Geoff admitted.
“Well get yourself on a bed and get some sleep. This ship is partly yours you know.”
Geoff walked off to another bedroom with a smile on his face. He couldn't really believe he did actually partly own a ship. He found another room, laid down, and dreamt about what he might see if he took off in this ship that was partly his. 


  1. Can handle 4-5 people. Is this hinting at more cool folks joining their party later on? 8D
    Pretty good so far though. You could've been a bit more descriptive when it comes to the ship, but otherwise, neat! Better write more soon (if you can get yourself to, that is)!

    1. I thought I should have been a bit more descriptive about space age Chicago, but that's what the editing process is for I guess. Adding things in, taking things out, and what not. I think I want at least one more person to join their merry band, so we'll see what happens.

  2. Haven't read the previous parts so I guess I'll have to do that first!

  3. Sound good. Will read previous parts ;)

  4. This is really good! I was a bit confused at parts but I thinks it's cuz I've not read the first ones, will have to get on it!

  5. i have no idea what your doing, also does anyone pronounce geoff like Gee-off instead of just Jeff?

    1. I wanted to spell it differently because I'm a wrestling fan and didn't want to think of Jeff Hardy every time I read it, or for other people to think that. I still pronounce "Geoff" as "Jeff" I don't think anyone pronounces Geoff literally. Or I hope not.

  6. I'm going to have to find some time and start from scratch with this Mark because I don't really understand what's going on but I want to.

  7. Man, I must admit that I am in a similar boat! I need to kick it on to the older ones just so I have a clue as to what is going on here!

  8. Love the shopping experience!

    Well I thought there was real rapport between the two guys I can totally see Geoff and Trent meandering along the street under the mesmerising sun off to buy a destroyer!

    Take care

  9. Cheers for posting the links to the previous parts it makes it a lot easier to catch up with the story....

  10. Wow, this is long. I'll have to read it all when I get a bit more free time...

  11. I like the fact that you used the difficulty in naming things for Trent. I like this installment. The detail thing is a bit weird for me too. I feel like I could write a whole two pages on the sights, smells, and other senses. That's even before I get to the meat of the story.

    1. Well I have trouble naming things, and I thought this was a way to stick it in the story and get away with not naming things excellently. I think I can go into good descriptions, but then I just think "Is this too much?"

  12. I wish I could put this much effort into a story. Keep it up! :)

  13. Trent isn't good at sexual innuendos. I only found out about the story yesterday so I spent all midnight last night reading the previous chapters then my dad's neighbor turned off his WiFi but I finished it now yay I like it :))


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