Saturday, 28 April 2012

Into The Vault


Prologue:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/untitled-space-story.html#en
Chapter one:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-almost-broke-tradition.html#en
Chapter two:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-two.html#en
Chapter three:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-third.html#en
Chapter four:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/fourth-wall-remains-intact.html#en
Chapter Five: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/five-out-of-five-for-length.html
Chapter Six: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/04/its-been-too-long.html
Chapter Seven: http://theramblingperson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/short-chapter.html

So it's Saturday, which means I get to post another piece of the story. This is a very Trent heavy chapter. In fact he's the only character in it. If this was a TV show or a movie, this would count as fan service. I really need to write more though because I think I have one chapter left I haven't posted. So yeah, I really need to write more.
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Trent walked back to the shipyard on his own. Part of him was wondering just why he had offered to take Daniel with him. He told himself he owed Geoff at least one ride, but what was with asking the doctor? He held his pendant in his hands and thought that maybe he had just been alone too long. He didn't know why he had been shot down, but he was starting to think it wasn't too bad. His old ship could only fit one. He bought it maybe a hundred or so years ago when he just wanted to be alone. He didn't like to buy a new ship while he had one that was still in one piece and working. He had met many people during those years, but he still felt a bit sad that when he was alone in space he was, well, alone. He shook his head to clear it and looked ahead to realise he had made it to the shipyard. You were allowed to leave your ship overnight there and all the ones for sale were tightly locked up. He walked up to his new ship and stepped inside it. As he sat down in his chair and fired up the engines he thought to himself that even though he did enjoy his own company just fine, and the stars were enough with him, it might get more fun with Geoff around. He entered the co-ordinates in the navigation computer and set off. He looked out the window of the ship, taking in what he could. Space was nice, but Earth had it's beauty too he thought. He was then hit by the thought of how boring things could get with a man like Osbourne around and let out a chuckle as he sat back and settled in for the journey.

He arrived at his destination about an hour later. It looked like just a nondescript piece of desert. There was nothing else around for miles. He stepped out the ship and made sure he was where he thought he was. He opened up the pendant and pulled a pin out of it, careful not to dislodge the picture inside it. He pricked himself with the pin and let the blood drop into the sand. DNA locks were nice and effective at keeping intruders out, but he didn't feel like going barefoot in the desert. Not for the first time he wondered just why he had to go to such extremes, and why he had to have his vault in the middle of nowhere. As a door opened up in the desert though, revealing a staircase he remembered. He treasured his collection, and he wanted to protect it as best as he could. "What's a little blood when it won't kill you?" he thought to himself.

As he entered the vault proper he turned the light on and looked around, letting out a sigh. Everything was exactly where he had left it. In the few years he'd been gone nothing had changed, though he hadn't expected it to. It was always a relief though. He had quite a large vault which was why it was in the middle of a desert. It was the only place with enough room for all the shelves upon shelves of things he had collected over the years. They were lined with music, books, even video games and systems and some very very old TV's. He thought he had the largest collection of antiques ever, especially as he had several of things to ensure their survival. He was a nostalgic man at heart and wanted to treasure the memories he had. He wanted to remember the good things in his life. If that good thing happened to be a particular movie or TV show, then so be it. Plus he felt that some things were just worth preserving. Part of him was preparing for a dystopian future when he would have to restore society and keep a hold of knowledge but so far that hadn't happened. 

Still, he wasn't here to get any of those things, and walked across until he found a side room where he kept all of his clothes and smaller valuables. He was a fan of travelling light so only opened up just one bag and filled it with what he could before changing. He left the clothes Geoff had given him behind, yet another memento. He put on a black shirt, found himself a nice pair of jeans to wear and pulled his boots on. Tucking his jeans into his boots he decided to grab an extra coat just to be safe. Grabbing the bag and holding it behind him over his shoulder he grabbed a spare key for his box and the last of his spare money to fill it with before heading back out into the main room. Seeing as he had already told Geoff he'd be gone until tomorrow he decided to spend the night in the vault. It had been some time since he had been here after all. He laid down on a couch in front of one of the TV's and decided to watch it until he fell asleep. 
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A quick note. I don't want it to seem like Trent is living in the past. I tried rewriting it but all I could do was add the bit about him preparing for a potential dystopian future and possibly needing to restore society. I don't know how well it comes across, but I don't want it to come across that he is living in the past. It probably does though.

31 comments:

  1. No Mark you got it just right. What comes across is man content with his own company, but still needing comfort from familiar things. It was a sweet scene you wrote here and added to the development of the character and his personality.

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    1. Thanks a lot. I really didn't think I had hit that, but it was what I was aiming for.

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  2. I feel there's a YOU in this. Holding onto strings better left to fray, and then killing yourself about it.

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    1. I'm not totally sure what you mean there.

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  3. I didn't feel like he was living in the past - so what you wrote worked for me. However, there's one sentence which isn't quite clear:

    "He didn't like to buy a new ship while had one that was still going."

    Loved the hidden vault with DNA locks! Is that your own idea? Very neat!

    All in all another enjoyable chapter - I'm very curious to see if there is a particular reason for that second jacket later on :-)

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    1. Well I did change that sentence so now hopefully it makes a bit more sense :) As far as I know I came up with that, but it's probably been used before. DNA locks have been used before I'm sure. I didn't think something would come of the other jacket but now you've mentioned it there are some things I can do with it :)

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  4. This has done a seriously good job in building up Trent and allowing us to empathise with him more so from that standpoint this is some really good work. Awesome writing Mark, you might have a career in this kind of thing if you could just have some faith in yourself.

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    1. Heh thanks. I also need to write more often if I wanted to do something like that.

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  5. Hape you ever considered trying to get your story published? Or even self-publishing?

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  6. Have you ever considered trying to get your story published? Or trying to publish yourself?

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    1. When it's finished I'll think about things like that.

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  7. I actually like how Trent decides to keep things from the past.

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    1. Thanks. I have to say I would probably do it too.

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  8. He lives for an uncertain future. If that means he has to cling to bits of the past, then so be it. I really like the dna-blood-lock!

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    1. Well it doesn't necessarily need blood, it could sample his feet. But he's not really willing to walk barefoot in the desert :) They weren't exactly made for huge underground vaults in the desert.

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  9. I like it! I also enjoyed an older alternative art post. I made an alt art post today :-)

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  10. So are you eventually panning on compiling this into a book and perhaps selling it or are you just writing for fun?

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    1. When it's all done I hope to compile it into a book. I can dream about selling it then. For now I just get to dream about writing it all.

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    2. I would buy it if you eventually do put it into book form, so you should. :p

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  11. I enjoyed this Trent heavy chapter. Looking forward to the next installment!

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    1. You'll love the sex scene then. Kidding, kidding. I don't know if I'll have one. God I can't imagine writing it actually.

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  12. I'm finally caught up! This is pretty awesome, Mark.

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  13. Great as usual, man. I'm loving this.

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  14. Not sure if this is my definition of fan service, but whatevs.

    So, you ready for Extreme Rules (Starring Brock Lesnar) ?

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    1. Well if you're a fan of Trent then this is servicing you. It's all Trent, all the time, and a look into his mind. I'm kinda looking forward to Extreme Rules actually. Whether I'm ready or not is another matter. I feel dead on my feet. Well, my ass. I'm sat down.

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  15. It's not fanservice if he's not naked. Or partially naked.

    Well, that's my definiton of fanservice.

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    1. Well he got changed, that counts, right? He'll be shirtless soon enough.

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  16. It doesn't sound like he is living in the past (especially when you read the passage in which he vehemently explains the passion of being able to travel all over the galaxy and discover new things).

    Keep it up!

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. Hehe thanks. Taken out of context it could come across how I thought it might, but I'm lucky to have someone who remembers earlier parts :)

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